November 2014 Thread 8 - Bottoms up, we're heading for the big push!

[TwigletFiend]

Afternoon, ladies. Hop, flop or otherwise clamber aboard!

We are interviewing potential mat covers for me this week. Considering that paperwork from offer accepted to start date takes about 2 weeks, I will have about 3 weeks to hand over things. Might be a stretch, so started to do some documentation in any free moment I might have. At least will be something to leave as a safety anchor for the poor sod...

Afternoon ladies

I've been a little absent for a while as life has been hectic

My 'maternity cover' started at the beginning of the month. I say that very sarcastically as she was taken on permanently which was a little concerning. So what about me? It now the middle of the month and no handover has been scheduled or even discussed. I think they've adopted the ostrich approach and put their heads in the sand or they've forgotten I'm going in 3 weeks. We shall see!

My 40 tube commute this morning took almost 2 hours due to signal failure. In which I was booted off 2 trains at 2 different stops and had to stand for a third train for nearly 30 minutes. Did anyone offer a seat, like hell they did? Even got pushed out of the way many a time even though I'm a little hard to miss now at nearly 8 months resembling a beach ball rather than someone who's had to many pies! At least a station assistant took pity on me and asked if I was alright and got me some water after she saw how distressed I was as the platform filled and it got hotter.

Enough of my winging, on the plus side, my 3 positive things for today:

1. Nursery furniture is finally paid off and delivery is scheduled for 2 weeks today
2. Maternity Unit tour tonight. I'm both scared and excited at the same time
3. Only 11 working days left of working 4 day weeks before my month of annual leave starts happy much!

DS2 (age 3) has just come up to me,

"Mummy, I think our baby should be called Dap-nee, and it's a girl."

Can you tell they're watching Scooby Doo? It's a better idea than Shaggy. I feel grateful.

Wee onion - sorry your maternity cover and work situation is so uncertain. Less than 4 months sounds very short indeed. Does your boss really think that 3 vs. 4 months is going to make such a difference?

Totally sympathise weeonion. Dealing with what might happen when you finish mat leave is the last thing you need at the moment.

I've got similar worries about what I could be returning to. I am focusing my effort on staying happy for baby though.

workfree totally understand the mare of commuting by tube when pregnant. I am very relieved to have finished work for the next 6 weeks. You've not got long to go...

Not long left at work now ladies, chins up!

Midwife appointment today, supposed to be 34 weeks but made one for 32, thought 6 weeks was too long between appointments and midwife agreed, told me to come every 2 weeks now.
Low blood pressure today (again...)
Thought for some reason that midwife could renew my prescription for Zantac heartburn tablets, been rationing for the last week, she said no, tried the pharmacy counter, she said it wasn't on repeat prescription, tried the reception to get a docs appointment quickly, told no appointments, pushed bump out and said please, desperate, got a late appointment and got some more tablets! Have to have one before I eat tea or that would be it for the evening. Panic over
Mum visiting from 150 miles away and came to listen to heartbeat today so she's happy :-)

Not good workfree - makes me glad that I only have a 20-30 minute bus ride to work.

Have finally had a end to the car seat base saga. The replacement arrived on Friday at work and DH picked me up tonight, and we've managed to fit it in the car tonight. So that's all to the good.

33 weeks today and four weeks left of work (19 days, not that I'm counting )

I'm feeling lucky in a way that I'm currently covering for someone else who is returning in December and they are just accepting the six week gap. Then I'm returning back to my old job when I return to work after mat leave. So I'm hoping I won't feel stressed about what work I'll be leaving behind or returning to. Hoping...!

Evening, ladies!

Petal, glad you got your heartburn stuff sorted, it's so bloody miserable. Especially at night.

Kantha, you don't fancy having a Dappnee? Or a Velma?

Nice to see you back, WorkFree. Sorry your tubing is so stressful.

blamber I have sent you the info from the breastfeeding workshop. Let me know if you don't get it

Toni, glad you got your car seat base sorted!

weeonion, it all sounds a bit pants. for you. At the end of the day though, they knew you were going off and could have tried getting organised a bit earlier, surely?! I wouldn't feel guilty - you're entitled to as much time as you want with your baby. Something has to make the nine months of pregnancy worthwhile!

Strawberry, you sound very organised. I'm sure your maternity cover will appreciate it!

How awful for you all! Feel massively guilty that I'm on mat leave when you all have such struggles.

If its any consolation, I just got news that relatives want to come and stay with me for 4 weeks! In November!!!

They're from v.v. far abroad and have done this before - my house would always be "the base" as its a big size so I've no excuse and the sheer length of the visit was a pain before but they were nice people & I'm fond of them so I didn't really mind.

But this time I was knocked for six as they KNOW I'm expecting in November and DH went ballistic.

So have sent word back that I can't put them up. Unfortunately it still means that they'll be visiting the area for 4 weeks & will be "popping in" on probably a daily basis throughout. And me there trying to establish breastfeeding with my tits out 10 times a day!

Nightmare. Trying to keep calm & remember they won't be staying here. But canNOT understand why they'd pick November of all months!

I think Daphne would edge it over Velma.

Anna - well done for saying no to the relatives. Be strong!! November - such a lovely month for visiting the UK

AnnaRose - oh god, I'd be sick about that news. Yes - well done to you for saying you can't put them up, but it's still bothering to know that they'll be there at all, hovering around and 'popping in'!

Have they actually booked their trip?
Gah - so annoying.

No tickets booked yet. Suggested the New Year but "oh no it'll be too cold ". Like November will be balmy? November is SHIT!

So am pushing for "late" November. Not that it makes any difference really.

I just have to see what happens. No way am I making dinner for them or going out to dinner or any of that shit. They're elderly too, so the awkwardness of breastfeeding in front of them! When I've never done it before! And DH will have to be going back to work so I'll be alone in the house! Having to make conversation! AAAAHHHHH!!

Ok.....must stop.....will freak myself out. We'll wait and see. No point worrying till tickets are booked.

breeeeaaaaathe.....

Ah, I had a feeling that they would be elderly alright. COuld you strongly suggest the springtime - April or thereabouts? Really press on them that you'll have your hands full (and won't you be caring again?) and will be getting feeding going which your midwife recommends will take some time and will need a lot of privacy at home etc. etc - just make up something? You could say that by the early spring you'll be much more mobile and sociable.

I do so feel your pain! But you're right, no point in freaking yourself out until the tickets are actually booked.

Only elderly people would do this, true, lol!

Oh & in more shit news of the day - DH scraped a car (totally his fault) and the quote has come back at 640 quid!!!

We were expecting 200 at most, it isn't even dented!

Its a brand new car, and she brought it back to the garage where she just bought it for a quote.....the usual thing.

We so don't need the expense at the mo, but DH is adamant he doesn't want to go thru insurance....I'm trying to be supportive as Lord knows its the sort of thing that could easily happen to me, but.....christ its a lot of money.

Anna I would put limits on the 'popping in'. Tell them to let you know when they want to come so they don't show up unexpectedly. Also tell them with a new baby you couldn't handle more than X number of visits a week.

What I hate most is unexpected visitors. I like to be prepared. Especially with a baby!

Anna, do feel for you. Well done for telling them straight they cannot stay with you. If in case you have your parents living in distance, maybe it would be worth to mention that you are considering to go and stay with your mum for the first few weeks with your baby as DH will be back at work and you would want a helping hand with the whole thing? And as you cannot guess how things will be going and promise anything, so they are better to come over in spring.
Another idea - tell them that you decided not to have whooping cough vaccine while pregnant so you will be staying clear of people and wont admit any visitors during the first two months after birth until the baby gets the vaccine in order not to put the little one at risk of catching the illness. So you will be saved from the visits as well.

Not so long ago FIL announced he would like to visit us (which means staying with us a long weekend as he is 200miles away) before the baby is here. I was fuming and told DH straight that I dont want anybody staying here in the last two months as I want to focus on baby and myself and will not be arsed to fuss about hospitality etc. Thank god DH agrees, but if FIL still comes for whatever reason I will honestly book myself into B&B for a weekend. I cannot be bothered to listen comments about myself looking huge, constant questioning if I feel ok and if I get this symptom or other, or even worth coming anywhere near the bump! I still cannot get over the aversion I feel for MIL bcs she did bump rub in July.

Yes will be def giving them set times to visit. Also have no shame about taking to the bed & leaving them with DH if he's there.

Also have a couple of sisters who will be warding them off like Rottweilers, lol. They are horrified too, so are springing into the defence!

Annarose - more empathy / sympathy your way. Lawks - that would be way way too much and good on ya both for saying no. Keeping other boundaries now is key too.

I am a bit freaked. My home birth kit has arrived. Oh lawks!

Annarose - more empathy / sympathy your way. Lawks - that would be way way too much and good on ya both for saying no. Keeping other boundaries now is key too.

I am a bit freaked. My home birth kit has arrived. Oh lawks!

Oh Anna, you have my sympathies. Definitely one of those days. , any reason why your DH doesn't want to go through insurance?

Had my 31 week midwife appt today. All is well and I'm measuring bang on 32 weeks, which I'll be on Thursday. Baby hasn't been very active today but hearing the heartbeat really clearly has put my mind at rest.

Decided to go on the offensive and complete my hospital bag shopping. Finally bought my pyjamas and breast pads, but maternity towels were out of stock. Went to Costco and bought the massive 100+ wash sized comfort pure and fairy non-bio so I'm ready to traumatise my washing machine! I'm now knackered as I've done far too much walking, now laying on the sofa necking tea and chocolate.

Also bought a gorgeous bright red pramsuit/snowsuit for baby today. For some reason I wanted a red one before I even knew the sex. Glad I've bought it now so that's another thing off my list as I've been worried about baby it being freezing when leaving the hospital.

Annarose, definitely an inconsiderate old person thing to do! I'd definitely tell them you need to know in advance before they visit, and don't open the door if they turn up unannounced. Will never forget my first full day at home with DS, sitting on the sofa at about 10am, still in pyjamas, both boobs out, trying to get him to latch on, when there was a sudden knock at the window. There was MIL grinning in at me, with FIL, Grand-MIL and Grand-FIL standing behind her! Think my bottom jaw almost hit my fully exposed breasts at that point!

Ha hapink you just made me laugh out loud! Brilliant! I can see my MiL doing something like that, she lives far too close for my liking!

I'd get another quote on the car thing. My brother runs a "revive" franchise - try them or similar. Www.revive-uk.com

Anna that sounds about right my husband works in insurance claims- some may remember about 4mths ago I scrapped a car when parking minimal scrape to mine will cost £100 paintwork however big scrape to his across rear wheel arch and husband sent photos to garage they use and even with"mates rates" was £600 quote without seeing car and this was a 6yr old focus so we went through insurance for his car and will get mine done at some point - I was so so cross with myself my husband was more these things happen and that's what insurance is for.

Lol Pink! I'm in the Same boat as you Crazies. My mum a 5 minute drive away. Even now I get headlights blaring through the front room window when she randomly pulls up on the drive!

On another mother related note thought I'd ask here before posting to the rest of Mumsnet. Any tips on baring my mum from the delivery room? I would be happy with it being just me and DH for various reasons. My mum is very overbearing/ overpowering [insert adjective here] and has assumed she will be there. I can already see her getting on my nerves and ordering the medical staff around as well as telling them they aren't doing their job properly in a very know it all, but I don't have a medical degree fashion. I don't want to be cringing during contractions.

On the other hand, my MIL is a nurse and ex-midwife who would be really reassuring and calming, but the backlash from picking her over my mum would be immense! Seeing as it's the first grandchild on each side, DH and I have decided to go it alone to save upsetting someone. How do I let my mum down gently without fireworks? Calling her after the birth, seems too wrong!