December 2014, Thread #6 August Amazonian's, Warriors of the 2nd Trimester

[Ladylel]

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Stats link if that's right... Mumsnet admin can you make this prettier?

Here we go thread 6, over half way - I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore!

I have just arranged to meet some of our dog walking friends on Wednesday for a first trial with pushchair. Eeeek. Will be on-lead, and in a place I know quite well, mostly with dogs we have met before, and suitable for pushchairs (paved paths, though crossing an old, occasionally used railway twice). I'm going to practice putting everything in the car etc and getting it all out, with the dog in tow and no husband - should be fun!

My mum is offering advice but not buying much/anything tbh. Shes had 4 kids and knows people get given enough "stuff", so shes just offering bits here and there, like I text her this morning to ask if the cot screws had been found yet, and about duvet for the cot, and she sent a long text back about trying sheets and blankets as then you can remove/add layers for baby easily and much easier to wash - things I hadn't even considered! Oops.

We want to go for reusable nappies, but I am bad enough at doing the washing with 2 of us, so its realistically going out the window. Boo.

Or maybe it does make sense... no grosser than poo I suppose. Right... off to ebay.

Yes you can bleed for up to 6 weeks! I did with my first DD

Its like punishment for not having periods for 9 months

Definitely less gross than poo! I couldn't find any on eBay. "t J cloth nappies" website is currently looking best. They have postpartum and regular ones. Can't decide how many I'll need though.
How long until you can go back to mooncup/tampons

Peace, thats what this thread is for. To pick brains! Re: buggies, do you drive? Does it need to go in back of the car? For mine I need light, offroady and maneuverable because I dont drive, get a lot of buses and am in the countryside a lot. I am looking on ebay for one that matches as I can neither afford, nor do I want to spend a small fortune on one. I might go and have a play with some then look for them second hand at some point....

Probably same time as the Dr clears you for sex I'd imagine. If you put reusable sanitary pads into ebay there are some, however they seem prettier than functional.

BigHairy I looked earlier at another thread and apparently Mothercare let you test them in your boot! We have a little car but I don't drive, so I need something comfortable to walk with and to get on the bus with.

Think I was using maternity pads/sanitary towels for 3 weeks. Bleeding wasn't heavy except for the first few days, but the soft kotex were easier on my stitches (epiostomy) and haemorrhoid (yuk!) than normal pantliners and towels which I found were too hard and scratchy.

Think it depends on person to person and what type of labour you have and also how soon you go home. I was home 3 hours after ds was born and felt a gush of blood as I walked up the stairs that first night!

Maternity sheet/cover for my side of the bed was handy too for the first week. I'll get a few in my kraampakket from my insurance company (even though I'm not having a home birth it's compulsory for me to have a box of supplies with everything we'd need just in case!). Will also habe to make sure our bed is raised.

The Dr has to clear you for sex? Eee, learn new things everyday in this thread :)

The dr doesn't really have to clear you for sex unless there are other medical issues involved I think. Just remember it's still possible to get pregnant!

I use reusable sanitary towels when I'm not using a mooncup. I used to just wash them with the nappies (and put them in the nappy bin too - better than in the washing basket imo!). But I'm not squeamish about that kind of thing and luckily neither is dh.

Post birth with ds I bled for about 3-4 weeks and I was using disposable pads - about week 2 I got the most horrendous itchy/prickly feeling down below which I assume was because of the pads and the lack of air circulation/chemicals. It was part of what put me off using disposable pads and nappies (for ds) in the first place.

Strange one from me but does anyone else have irrational anxiety at the thought of the hordes of people that will come "visiting"? I am dreading it already and feel really guilty for doing so, I really want to breastfeed and we have a 2 year old dog who has been practically treated as a baby since we got her, I feel like I want at least 2 weeks of us being a family so I can get into some kind of a routine before dp paternity leave ends and so our dog can get used to baby (as much as possible) It actually makes me start to panic imagining the tyrades of visitors coming in the dog getting excited, people traipsing wet foot prints through (im insane I know) holding the baby while im trying to monitor how much they are feeding etc. I know i probably sound nuts and i know im probably over thinking everything but its annoying me already, I havent mentioned it to Dp as i know he will want to show the baby off to friends etc :( xx

The more I hear about pregnancy and birth the more I think it's someone's huge joke on women. Bleeding for 6 weeks? Haven't we suffered enough?!

hannie Visitors made me stabby last time so I totally understand.

My worst two incidents from memory;

When I was still in the hospital with a day old newborn and MIL came to visit, she left her 2 youngest dc, who were about 5 and 7 with me for the duration of visiting time while she went off to run errands. WTF didn't even cover it.

I also remember dh inviting BIL and Random Male Friend of BIL over to play x-box while he was on paternity leave. It was BIL's birthday so I can understand he wanted to do something with him, but I was trying to breastfeed, still sore and bleeding and suffering from I Hate Visitors syndrome. So I stayed in bed with ds and made dh bring me tea, cake, chocolate etc whenever I fancied it.

I didn't mind having my mum round though (perhaps unreasonable of me I know) so I'm going to miss that this time.

Really? NO sex clearance? Brilliant!

Check out the cheekywipes website for maternity pads too. They look pretty good.

Porquois, how many pads do you find you get through? I think I am going to invest.

I am BANNING visitors for two weeks. I think we still have my stepsons over Christmas which is chaos enough. If anyone calls round unexpectedly, the door wont be opened.

I'm thinking the same thing hannie. I think my mum's going to be on the first train to London as soon as I go into labour. I think she will want to stay for a few days but I can't decide if the help will be good or a pain. MIL will probably follow shortly after so she's not left out. Then dads and sisters etc. It's difficult with December as people have more time off and while it's nice that people are excited I also feel that we will need some time to get used to the baby on our own. Just need to find a way to tell them politely!

Thank the lord im not as insane as I thought haha!! My mum will be welcome but I dont want the world and his wife for at least 2 weeks I al going to be brave and request a ban aswell then! Xx

My mum has said she will come for two weeks after DH's paternity ends so I'm not on my own. Great confidence boost there, haha

hannie just be clear with people ahead of d-day - no unannounced visits and no one for the first couple of weeks and wait for you to offer for them to hold the baby instead of asking. Some people won't understand but fuck 'em, it's your family and you decide what you need.

I was the opposite with DD! My Mum moved in pre and post birth for two weeks and I cried when she left! She is amazing though and helped me recover from a messy birth. I was also grateful for anyone wanting to hold or change or rock DD to sleep as I was usually pinned to the sofa by the milk monster and desperately needed the space.

Re the ML thread earlier, I worked til 38 weeks last time and it was too long but I was commuting into London every day and that was most of the problem. This time I'm stopping earlier and I have a load of holiday to take so ML will be v luxurious! BTW, If the leave you accrue over ML is protected I.e. It stays available for you to use and rolls over each year then consider not using it at the end of ML. I kept mine and it's been a godsend especially with child illness starting nursery (when they will be ill all the time for the first 3 months).

Utterly agree with monkeybaby. It's the one time in your life you really don't have to worry about being polite/reasonable. You wont get those first days back. I've already had to offend my mum by telling her that she wont be at the birth.... however, if they are real friends/love you, they will swallow their disappointment and respect your views.

I think when we announce the birth we will also say that we understand everyone wants to come and meet the new baby, but please to wait for two weeks and clear it with us first to make sure we are ok with visitors. If there really is no saying no, then we will set a time limit. Plus visitors make their own tea. I have read too much on Mn about people coming over in tose first few weeks and taking the living piss.

I don't know how many I'd get through post-birth, however for a normal period I would say one large/absorbent pad per night, and for during the day a maximum of 4 pads per day (for freshness ).

They may not keep you feeling as "dry" as disposable pads do, but you'd be amazed at how little blood there actually is, the disposable pads make it look like there is much more than there actually is .

You can also get different thicknesses/absorbencies to cater for when you are at your lightest or heaviest.

Re vistors, most of my friends dont know where I live, so Im safe for now! Just doscussex with DH about his mum driving me to hospital not my dad, as then my mum wont get annoyed when I tell her to leave....

We'll probably have parents and a few of the siblings pop in but for limited times only. One sibling is banned from holding child alreafy as hes a.knobend and we dont like him! As for friends, I can only think of 2 couples that Im happy tohave over in the first weeks, and one of those couples will have their own little one just weeks before me (or at same time!), and the other is my DHs best friend (almost like his brother) nad his partner (who is one of my closest friends & a childrens nurse).

Feeling very "nesting" this evening after a super lazy day.

I honestly love this forum so much!! I no longer feel as mental as before haha xx

Bleeding post-parting can go on for weeks I found the proper maternity pads good for the first day or two as they are literally like a mattress to sit on.
As for visitors make sure all visits are short, all visitors make their own drinks wash up etc and if in doubt disappear upstairs with the baby saying you need privacy to feed. Or in a real emergency and you want people to go cry and just blame your hormones afterwards.