November 2014 Thread 3- Counting towards the second trimester!

[barmybunting]

Hi everyone,

A new thread for us chatty bunch due in November. Could someone repost the stats? I'm on my phone so can't do it. Thank you!

Would anyone opt for Nhs and nct? or would I get bored? As a student under 22 I'll get 90% of nct so if they're better than Nhs it's worth it.

Random in your position I'd probably do them again as it's been a while, especially if you don't know many people with babies/ who are pregnant. Also it might be good for whoever you would like to be your birthing partner if you're having one :)

alita I haven't done NCT but know people who have, I think you'll get more of a chance to discuss the birth and postpartum period in more detail, to practise things more, and get to know other expectant parents. You usually do a series of classes with them and I know of people who stay friends with their NCT group after classes, even until nursery age (and some beyond that). If you don't have many friends with children or expecting then I think it's a good option, especially if you're going to get such a good discount.

The NCT Nearly New sales are pretty good too, one friend picked up a Bugaboo (Cam I think) in mint condition for about £300 (would have cost him around £800-900 in store).

Thursday, what stuck with me was the midwife saying if you go into labour on a Sunday night or a bank holiday, there's only one anaesthetist available in the whole hospital, so if he's busy in surgery you'll probably have to wait hours for an epidural...of course I turned up at the labour ward at midnight on the Sunday/Monday of a bank holiday weekend, absolutely sodding terrified that I was going to want an epidural and not get one! (I did want one, and I got it almost straight away when I requested it, as it turned out :)

alita no birth partner, no way I want anyone there annoying me and seeing all my bits and pieces thank you very much! Mum looked at me a few weeks ago with that "I suppose I HAVE to offer given that I'm her mother but I really don't want to" look and looked positively overjoyed when I responded with "no chance are you mad bugger off till we're all cleaned up and back on the ward!" We're a really close nit supportive loving family. Even scans and mw appointments alone so far have been far easier than when I had my ex with me. Quite happy on my own thanks!

I found the NCT classes 100 times better in every way - venue, teacher, other parents to be, information, teaching aids, everything. The NHS one was a complete waste of time if I'm honest but you never know, maybe something will have improved by now. I was surprised at the Vicki Pollards as I'm in a verrr verrr poash area but it was a bit grim if I'm honest.

I'm also not sure if I can be bothered with the pitying looks for being on my own at the NCT classes and having to explain, not that I'm self conscious about it, just I hate the automatic pity party, or worse the assumptions and tuts for being an obvious slapper knocked up by a ONS! I'm not shouting my situation to the world and am heading them off with either dead end responses, jokes or the old "why do you want to know" but in this situation I want to make friends and that reaction can put people off I think.

Nope, I won't bother doing a refresher. Last time they were so busy that the only course I could get on was a one-day job and the room was so small we weren't allowed to bring partners

The MWs who ran it were really nice, but I learned nothing I didn't already know from the internet, tbh, although I remember a physio came and spoke and it was interesting to hear from her. A consultant came in to talk about pain relief and he did a lot of heavy sighing and listing out the perils of epidurals while at the same time mentioning that the many first-time mothers opted for them. I came away vowing to not get an epidural, whatever else I did (and then I got one, go figure).

As in Random's experience, there was nothing at all about the post-birth stuff! All of my frenetic research had been based on prepping myself for labour but there really should have been more about feeding* and even basic stuff like what exactly to dress the babies in.

Thursday I was so with you on the needing to know the gory details about pooing and vomiting in labour. I actually was fixated on this. I did not want to poo everywhere in front of my DH. I remember I was in the hospital bath and decided I needed to poo and ordered DH out of the room...then got really upset because the necessary clearout was not forthcoming it came later.

*They usually need feeding way more often than you'll be told by your healthcare providers!

Thursday I second NCT sales. Go armed with a lot of cash because the ones round here only take cash or cheques and usually have a lot of decent stuff.

Also Gumtree is good too - I got my Bugaboo Cameleon off there for £300 and again it's perfect.

You know, Random, my DH is a darling and couldn't have been lovelier and more supportive when I was in labour, but even so I'm kind of wondering if I'd actually semi-prefer to not have a birthing partner the next time. Feels really weird to say that. I just wanted to be on my own when I was in labour. Just wanted everyone to go away and leave me alone so that I could find the nearest dark cave!

Anyway, I'm totally jumping the gun here. Scan is at 11am tomorrow and I don't know why I'm even talking about all this until I see some good news tomorrow.

Hi all, checking in. Haven't contributed to this third thread at all, just lurked a bit!
Went away the weekend before Easter with DH and quickly racked up the places I have been sick, train bathrooms, airplane bathrooms. Was fine when we got there but the travelling was so awful.
Have been eating every two hours (when I really don't want to) to stop feeling sick and that has been working. Last night I went to sleep at about 7:30 so woke up with a completely empty stomach this morning and was really ill. Will have to make myself stay up tonight and eat immediately before bed like i have been doing :-(
Wanted to contribute my pram experience from DD 2.5 years ago. We were limited as to which pram/travel system we could have as we had a Nissan Micra with a small boot and had to measure the chassis when it was folded down. We ended up with an Oyster which I got on well with. The seat could be forward/rear facing so swapped it around as she grew. We had a Maxi Cosi car seat and bought the adapters so we could fit that to the chassis, which I did all the time. I was aware of the 'maximum 2 hours in the car seat' guidelines and found the chassis/car seat combo perfect for the first few months, quick runs to the shops without waking her up when moving her from the car. I also used to lift the car seat straight into the trolley at the supermarket and place items around her (used to fit in quite a lot!).
We have a carrycot as well, used it quite a bit, nice to know she could stretch out, we used to put in on the back seat of the car as it wouldn't fit in the boot as well as the chassis (bigger car now thankfully!)
We looked after it and as soon as she was quite mobile and keen to walk herself we packed away the Oyster and have a Quinny Zapp as it is quite lightweight and takes up no room in the boot, so it's just there if we need it. No pram shopping for me this time around :-(
I do remember my mum harping on at me saying the pram couldn't 'be in the house' before the baby had arrived as it was bad luck so she was annoyed that we had bought it in advance! Don't know when she expected us to buy it!
Sorry for the long post, 11 weeks today, scan a week on Tuesday - feels like ages away!

Went to 3 x 3hour NHS ante natal sessions last time and they were quite good. Only downside was that they were on a weekday afternoon so DH couldn't come with me which is where an NCT course would be good as they are evenings/weekends I think. I wouldn't mind going to a refresher session if one was offered.

I won't be doing any antenatal classes this time - I did NCT last time - it was ok and met a few nice people who I'm still in touch with. I remember that it's painful and I remember the pain stops after baby's born - that's all I need to know - other than that I'll watch OBEM
on a slightly different note - does anyone know what the music is called that is often played in salons while you're having a massage - quite fancy having that playing at the birth - although I'm sure it'll start to piss me off bad I'll be yelling at DH to turn it off

Ok so I think I will go for NCT- and maybe nhs too- only problem being is that the nct course for my dates near me is quite far for someone without a car, would be fine if we didn't have dsd but the times are 7.30- 9.30 and 10 on one night, so we'd need to get a baby sitter and then it would probably take us at least an hour to get there and back again, if the buses lined up with finishing times (luckily most of them run until around midnight if not all night). Although the location may require 2 or 3 buses :/ We do have a friend who is currently job hunting and lives round the corner and would baby sit but they may have a job by then and be unable to. So I don't know if I can commit to it yet but not sure how late to leave it and still get a place.

Hi,
Haven't had time to catch up with reading posts yet. It's been a crazy busy week even though I'm on annual leave.
It was my 12 week scan today, and everything seems to be going well. The baby was waving its arms at us on the screen, and is apparently developing normally. They gave me the EDD of 2nd Nov. That part was the highlight of the almost 4hrs we were there. I am under consultant care due to a pre-existing medical condition, but we didn't actually see a dr today at all. In almost 4hrs I waited, spoke to someone about the combined testing (DH had suddenly decided last week that he wanted this, and I compromised as I didn't really want to), waited in a different room, had the scan, waited in a different area, had my weight and height and blood pressure and urine checked, waited in a different area, was called to see a midwife who looked confused and said my notes had been put in the pile for the wrong clinic so she was the wrong person to see, waited somewhere else, then the same midwife called us through and said it was a very long wait to see the doctor for the right clinic and asked if I was happy to come back in a couple of weeks instead. At this point we had to be getting back to DD so agreed. She was very apologetic and did all my blood tests herself instead of sending my back to wait in a very long queue for them.
We told DH's parents first as they were at home looking after DD, believing I had to go to a meeting at work. MIL said she and SIL had guessed after something DH had said a couple of weeks ago, but MIL was still massively over-excited. My mother also said she had guessed after seeing me yesterday (I must have looked fat yesterday). Mother then realised I won't be at work on Christmas Day now, and started planning her family Christmas with all her children and grandchildren. We told DD, but, at just turned 3yrs old, she doesn't really understand.

I have no idea what NCT classes are! Getting awfully confused. Are they just a different type of antenatal class? I've looked on a website and there are a few different courses...how do you know which one to go for? NCT signature antenatal. essential antenatal, combined antenatal and early days...argh!

Threw up for the first time yesterday whilst brushing my teeth. Yay.

Also, back to pushchairs for a second, I saw a 'solar city' pushchair in mamas and papas and fell in love - anyone got any expereince with one?

amy nct Is just an organisation that do various things to do with pregnancy an birth Including antenatal classes. signature is more expensive and has more sessions and covers more than basic I think. supposedly the classes are better than Nhs and people say they make good friends at them compared to the Nhs ones.

Amy - we had the original sola for Ds and I loved it!

Does anyone know if the bloat calms down a bit soon? It's ridiculous!!!

Random - I'll be doing the NHS ones definitely. The midwife said I wouldn't need the baby care session though. It's on at the same time as one of DS's after school activities, so I might be going by myself....

The NCT do a refresher one as well which is women only. One session is on breastfeeding which I really need a refresher on so it's very tempting. DS will be 6 so it's been a while.

With DD we did the NCT classes and registered very early as I knew there was quite a demand. I really liked them and had a fab tutor and trainee tutor too. I learned loads and found them reassuring. Met other families who were mainly all very middle class and some quite competitive n terms of what they were spending on nusery furniture / buggies etc and were quite horrified at anyone who was considering using anything second hand but found a firm friend from the group who was absolutely invaluable in the post natal time. we are still good friends now. DP was initially unsure about them - he hates group situations but the blokes ended up organising their own nights out to talk over their own worries / fears which he surprisingly found helpful. they also arranged a joint "wetting the babies head" night out after we had all delivered. If you are thinking of doing them - i would suggest early booking to get a place - but that oversubscribing may just be a thing in our local area?
I also found NCT sales to be really useful but you dont have to attended a class to go to them
The NHS offered classes too but as I was working - I wasnt able to take time off work to go. They did offer 2 classes for couples / families which tbh I found rubbish. The MW and physios kept saying that the classes probably wouldnt help much as no-one knows what will happen anyhow during birth and labour. Incredibly sexist (and heterosexist) as well and the men were treated really poorly with massive assumptions about what role they would have and how crap they would be in dealing with a baby. Alot of the men there were really pissed off. I think there is only 1 class offered now so not sure we will be going for it as it covers nothing about home birthing.

I am planning on going to and linking with other groups if possible - more to link with other homebirthing mums and older mums. i wont have a year off on mat leave and wont have the same amount of time to go to lots of mums / babies groups this time round so want to develop friendships before baby arrives.

my pal had a baby girl this morning so i am excited to get to welcome her into the world in next couple of weeks when their "babymoon" is over. I still cant believe that we my have a new family member ourselves before xmas time. eek.

We lent out all of our baby stuff from DD. I am hoping to get as much of it back as possible and am also open to taking 2nd hand stuff as well from friends who have now finished their broods and unlikely to need it again. I also went completely overboard the last time so will be wiser this time round as to what was actually most useful.

It's definitely the meeting other mothers thing I'm interested in more than the information and classes but honestly I'd really like some other single mothers. I have seen some local single mother groups which initially I was toying with joining but (and I know I am being incredibly judgemental and snobbish here) looking at the style of their online posts and they way they talk of their lives, I really don't think it's for me. Plus a lot of them are not single mothers by choice, they have had an oops or the father has left them or something and it's a very different vibe to an older mother doing it by choice. (Not being so judgemental there as I have been in the position of being a single mother due to breaking up with the father and this is very very different.) I think I will at least try the NHS ones, nothing to lose there, it's just that as I have literally no questions, and nothing I can't find out online anyway, and am not at all interested in the classes if it's the same as last time and is largely irrelevant to me or I know what I'm doing or it's just fucking terrifying (some of the images they showed have still stayed with me 8 years on and never left and still make me shudder!!) I am loath to spend 100 meeting (to quote Bridget Jones) a load of smug marrieds. I think I'm in danger of developing a bit of a complex about being single and I so don't want to do that.

Finally caught up with everything on the thread. Love reading all the scan news, 12 days and counting here.

The pushchair thing is tricky. With the first had a Britax system, would have been great but the pram handle broke within a month. Luckily kiddy care took it all back and swapped it for a Quinny Buzz and a Maxi Cosi car seat. With a 2 year age gap, I got a Phil and ted double for a few months. I luckily bought second hand and was able to re sell for same price. It was a good double but really bulky. It fitted into our estate car but I used it mainly locally and used a quinny zapp and the car seat if we had to pop somewhere. Debating which/whether to get a double this time, 26 month age gap between second and third. Any recommendations? Other thought was to use a sling for youngest and keep middle in his Maclaren stroller when necessary. Also slightly worried as won't have enough arms for 3 of them

Good luck to everyone with scans. Haven't heard of the harmony test before, I'm off to google.

Wine, I am so very sorry. Words can not explain how you must feel. My thoughts are with you and I hope the next few days are as easy as possible.

We are planning on doing the NCT classes, partially because we have only just moved to the area from hundreds of miles away so our friends and family are a long way away. The NHS do two short ones on a Monday afternoon here but DH can't get the time off work so I may go depending on the timing of the NCT course.

We are pretty clueless about prams now! We have to move again in Dec or early Jan to some destination unknown due to DH's job. We should find out in the summer hopefully. But it could be half an hour down the road or to the US so we have no idea what we will need until we know where we need to go. I guess we need to wait to think about that longer term. I only hope we find out where we are moving to with a proper amount if notice though. For our last move in Jan, he phoned me from Afghanistan one night in early Nov to tell me he was being transferred 600 miles down south in Dec for a year. We quickly decided I was going as well rather than him trying to commute, so I handed in my notice to school the next day so I could finish at Christmas, and started to pack and we moved 3 days after new year. I reckon it'll be a bit harder with a newborn this year!

I'm more confused than ever about pushchairs now!

I only have a Nissan Micra as my own car, and it's the car baby will be in mainly I think. So: a weeny boot. This limits me to the smallest pushchairs on the market.

I don't mind that at all, but am getting concerned about the suspension as every second review of pushchairs seem to be complaining about it shuddering and juddering on tiny wheels.

I live in the city, but it's an old place, where if it's not cobbled its uneven. I really need a smooth ride! (fnar fnar!)

Is there such a thing as a compact city pushchair with a really sturdy suspension?

barmy Wow, and I thought DH and I moved a lot! I think if you find out in summer then you'll still have plenty of time to work out what you need, and you can even get away with buying stuff much later or after baby is born. The main things you need are:

• clothes (pretty much the same anywhere, vest and sleepsuits mainly, and a hat)
• some sort of outerwear or blanket for outdoors (recommending fleece wraps again, this is the Wallaboo, we got ours for £22 nearly 2 years ago so some good prices on Amazon, normally about £45)
• a place to sleep plus bedding (cosleep, crib, cot, sleeping bags and swaddle wraps are great and very easy, plus sheets if not cosleeping)
• nappies (disposable or cloth, I personally find disposables best for those first few weeks at least)
• feeding method (breasts if bfing!, bottles, steriliser and formula if ffing)
• car seat (to go home from hospital at least, more essential if you drive)
• travel method (easier than carrying so sling/carrier, and/or pushchair, for when not driving)

So you could, for example, buy clothes, a blanket, nappies, a cot/crib with bedding, your car seat and a carrier - as these kinds of things will be used anywhere and everywhere regardless of terrain or urban/rural unless you move somewhere arctic, you can still get about with the baby, and you'll be covered on those basics. Then you can figure out what you need for that area specifically, in terms of pushchairs and such. If you start bfing but it doesn't work for you then you can always buy bottles and such as soon as you need them. I recommend an Amazon list, add all the possible bits you might need, that you've reviewed and like, then click 'buy' if you decide and get next day delivery. If you're still in the UK then Kiddicare are also great for next day delivery.

Anna I'm going to sound like a Baby Jogger rep the amount I talk about this... The Baby Jogger City Mini could work well for you. I have found it really sturdy, have taken it on holiday to places with cobbled/tiles streets, and also visited my mum who lives in an old city where cobbles abound, and round here the streets are just very uneven Works very well everywhere and had no difficulties with it at all. You can get a GT version of it also which has air tyres so maybe even better (says 'forever air', no idea what that means!).

That Wallaballoo looks so cute but DD was so big when she was born it would have barely lasted 5 minutes. This one being second born and having a father bigger than my ex could be silly big and I'm leaving off buying clothes or things which are dependant on their size till nearer the time and scans tell me if this one is supersized again. I wasted a lot of money last time.