November 2014 Thread 3- Counting towards the second trimester!

[barmybunting]

Hi everyone,

A new thread for us chatty bunch due in November. Could someone repost the stats? I'm on my phone so can't do it. Thank you!

Hi all,

So lovely to hear all the lovely scan news and thinking of those who are suffering in any way.
I haven't been on here since my op. Have just been so ill and severely exhausted life only seems to be going slightly back to normal now.
Work are pressurising me to return and I already feel guilty as I know a level exams are coming up but have only just been able to move around again.
Prams- I kept mine from my ds in really good condition which is good money wise but wish I could go shopping for a new one in the summer!

Hi everyone. Great to hear all the good scan news, Winter, Random, Alita and Hopeful - and lovely photos from those who posted them.

weeonion So sorry you’re having all this anxiety and hassle – really hope you find somewhere near you for the tests.

Oh Posy, poor you. It can only get better. The bad days are baaaad when you’re pregnant.

I had my nuchal scan and Harmony results on Wednesday - all looks good and we also asked to find out the gender - and it's a girl . I'm thrilled - I feel so much more settled knowing this time round, and finally feeling a bit less overwhelmed. Also very glad I did have the Harmony now, as they found tricuspid regurgitation on the scan (i.e. a mild heart murmur, which is not serious (easily fixable or will fix itself), but that along with my age (41) would have completely effed my results and I’d have ended up being v high risk. As it is I'll have a fetal cardiac scan at St Thomas's in addition to my regular 20-week one, just to see how things are going. The baby looks good in every other way, though: 1.7 nuchal, nasal bone present, etc.

Stripey - welcome – great that you’ve had a good scan after what must have been a worrying few weeks. I had a home birth with DD, so feel free to ask away if any qus.

And wine - so so sorry. Take care of yourself. x

Have a great weekend, everyone - I'm really looking forward to my first mani-pedi in about three years. Going with my mum, which, considering that this time two and a half weeks ago she'd just been admitted to hospital after three mini-strokes and could easily have died, feels like just another thing to be very grateful for . (She's fine now, thank god - amazing that just an operation to clean a major artery can make a 70-yr-old as good as new!)

Wine - I'm so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you.

I'm on the train heading to London for my Harmony test - will let you know how I get on.

Off to look at prams next weekend - thanks for all the advice everyone who has posted

Wine I'm so sorry to hear your news

And cheers to all who offered slaps, cake, hugs etc. I think part of the problem is that the nausea has meant I'm eating sporadically and probably the wrong things and my blood sugar is everywhere. My sister has just sent me a list of slow carb release foods so I'm going to try some of those.

books enjoy your weekend & everyone else too. I'm off with some friends for a spa weekend and really looking forward to it. I reckon a SHORT time in a hot tub (if it's not too hot) should be okay… and if not then I'll just relax.

And Spanner I don't have anything helpful to add but thinking of you & hope you can find good support.

I soemehow missed a load of posts earlier.

Wine Wishing you all the very best, take care of yourself.

Twiglet I agree with Random re: Quinny. They're very popular, for style I think mainly, but I don't find them too practical. The only one that's alright is the Senzz, and maybe the Zapp, but those are strollers and I know people who have them and like them as they're lightweight and smooth. Having said that, if you want a stroller you're better off with a Maclaren or such, still more practical than those models. Most Quinnys have a really wide chassis, so you can't go down any bus aisle, train aisle, sometimes shop aisles are tricky...! It's not always obvious at first but they are much wider than most. This means you usually have to take the wheels off to fit it into almost any boot. They also don't seem very long/wide in the seat - I know someone with a Buzz and their DS was bursting out of the seat unit before he was even 1yo Same person now hankers after my BJCM, because it actually fits her DS! Even if your DC isn't big just take a look at the seat, they do look really small. I don't feel they have anything practical going, other than the wheels are okay, baskets are miniscule, as are the hoods, I just don't get them! The Buzz was fashionable around here for a while but they've all disappeared Everyone seems to have traded in for a Bugaboo Bee, which at least is quite practical in addition to being trendy.

We live in London and I think that generally city-friendly type pushchairs have to be lightweight, small, slim, as well as sturdy and reliable, and easy to fold. I work centrally in an area that is known as a SAHM territory, so lots of mums about with prams but in central London so facing crowds, public transport etc, and everyone owns one of the following: BJCM, Bugaboo Bee, Maclaren. That's it. Because those are super practical pushchairs for the city and good quality. They're also not crazy expensive like some, so I think that's good too. If you live in an urban area I would highly recommended looking at these in person and like someone else said, ask people if you see them out with one as to how they get on. We have the BJCM, I wasn't keen on a Maclaren from birth purely from the aesthetic and style I wanted, but we do have a Maclaren Volo now for runabouts (4kg, basic but very practical and well made). If this was my first my shortlist would just be BJCM or Bugaboo Bee. The other weekend we were in John Lewis, DS in his BJCM, and we were approached by about 3 different expectant parents to ask us how we got on with it, so plenty do it and we were more than happy to share our experience with them

we had a look in mother care today. dp has told me I'm not allowed a second hand pram -.-
so we were looking at affordable ones and he has decided he wants to motorise it??? sigh...

alita Motorise?! I'm not sure I want to know what his plans are...!

Perhaps he would like this!

Thursday at that price he better bloody not!!!!!!

he did tell me that some friends are thinking of moving back to their home country, they have a new year old and may want to leave stuff behind so we might be able to get some bits cheap :)

1 year old! bloody auto correct!

alita Are you sure? It opens itself...

Good going if you can get some stuff though, a close friend got a really good crib and a cot because they knew people who thought they would be settling here, but then the DH was being sent abroad for work and the whole family would be moving so they were only here until their baby was about 2mo! So everything in fantastic/new condition and got it really cheap because they weren't looking to make lots on it, they knew they were also being done a favour as my friend went and collected everything herself and it was at relatively short notice.

Having previously mentioned the Bee, which I know quite a few owners of, latest Mumsnet reviews of it have been less than favourable. Oh well! BJCM is still awesome

alita I mentioned to my OH we could get a second-hand pram off ebay, but he doesn't trust it. He says people may have (unwillingly) gotten a fake pram that they're now selling on, which is unsafe and will chop the baby's head off. I wasn't so paranoid but he has now planted a seed of doubt!

stripey welcome! We have about the same EDD. I had a scan the other day too and now feel more confident this is really happening! I don't have many symptoms either (first pregnancy too). Have you told anyone yet?

Posy - enjoy, but I'd be careful with the hot tub. I am not at all paranoid (been eating brie and pate, etc., and not entirely avoiding alcohol and caffeine), but Emily Oster's Expecting Better is my bible this time around, and although she dismisses (on the basis of thorough research) a lot of the don'ts, she does highlight hot tubs as something to avoid. Sorry . I'm sure a few minutes if it's not boiling would be fine - and you'll know if it doesn't feel right, but just didn't want to read that and not say.

Agree with itsjustthursday re urban buggies. We had a Bugaboo Bee with DD and it was really perfect. Had it reconditioned when she was 3 as it needed a spruce up and new wheels (that cost £130 and the buggy was £400 ish), but we used it everywhere - it's very slim, turns on a sixpence so great for cafes, shops and public transport, easy to manoeuvre (sp!) with good under-pram storage and really easy to put on raincover. It's also rear-facing for when they are babies, and then you turn it round when they are bigger. Downside, useless going over tiny bumps (princess and the pea!) and terrible in snow; it's also a bit bulkier than you'd expect for its size when it's folded, so takes up a fair amount of boot space - but no buggy is perfect for everything. Oh, and once your child is 3-ish you might struggle to pull the hood up without their head bumping against it, i would say. It's fairly petite.

alita - motorise it? Interesting

x-posts thursday - what don't people like about my beloved Bee? And what's BJCM?

Thanks Thursday, useful to have some input as to the details as sometimes I find reviews a bit brief and it's so difficult! I'm only 10 weeks at the moment but I am an obsessive organiser, so am already on the lookout! Also on a budget, so hoping to spread costs out a little rather than spend a big chunk all at once.

Suddenly realised I sounded like a snob earlier - I have no issue with second hand stuff and am in fact having both crib & cot second hand with new mattresses, just DP's SIL has such a 'lady of the manor' attitude I am loathe to ask her for anything. She's already filling DP's ears with loads of rubbish about pregnancy . Mainly because she knows I'll just ignore her!

I live in quite a rural area, so a lot of poor pavement surfaces & hills to navigate. Bit nervous about being so far from the hospital & midwives too, though I'm sure I'd feel the same even if they were right next door!

books It's just the MN reviews section, people complaining about the clips for extending the handlebars and the wheels, or something like that. People I know love it and I personally think it's a very good pushchair. Sorry, BJCM is Baby Jogger City Mini - I've spent too long on the Pushchairs Product board

Twiglet I will happily talk about many items I'm similar, I love to organise everything, and I trawl through so many reviews to come to a decision, as well as trialling in shops and all sorts. DH does a full on test of pushchairs in store, wheels get bashed and everything Clip things in and out, fold and unfold various times, but it's a good way of doing things. I liked the look of the Cosatto Giggle cos it had trees on it and it was launched whilst I was pg with DS. but DH found the attachment too rickety, the wheels weren't good enough and the clipping in of the seat was easy to catch your fingers. Glad I went with his appraisal as there have been loads of bad reviews lately, with the pushchairs collapsing in use or handle breaking off of the carseat whilst carrying

I'm not massively practical (in a technical sense) and I remember feeling so daunted by how everything worked and figuring out the car seat and getting the buggy up and down, and how the hell you put the breast pump together - it scared me more than childbirth! Once you get your head round it you feel like you've been doing it forever, but it felt really overwhelming to me at the time. My advice for the first-timers: figure out how it all works before the baby comes and don't put it off like I did!

Thank you for the kind wishes. They really do help. I have appointments with the community mental health team who will eventually pass me on the peri-natal team. I'm blessed with great friends and family. Hubby is in the navy and leaves Sunday which I think was my last straw but I'm going to get through this. One day at a time :)

Hmmmm. My pelvis gave up the will to live. Knew it would at some point and I overdid it with a lot of appointments today around town. But on the plus side it gave up right outside a pub... at 6pm Friday night. Just waiting for all the hunky suits to come in for an after work drink - do you think they'll notice the football I seem to have swallowed???

Hes just crazy... and did not have to say it in the bloody shop either :p

I wish I knew when to buy things. Our contract end's on the 1st November -.- dp wants to leave before babies born (damp problem) so will need to strike up a deal with the landlord if he wants to move in time. We're on the housing list but can't bid until we can go, and in September baby counts and we class as over crowded so I want to wait and get a 3 bed as I really need a loft and dsd is struggling without a garden (I know not essentials but with baby I want things easy) plus when the other dsds come over its a squish. I'd rather wait and not get stuck in an expensive private place (2 bed is over 800 round here) that we can barely afford, for another 6 ms - year .
So I don't want to buy everything before baby and have to move it if we're going to move before baby but then I think we should wait until September at least so we can get a 3 bed and settle down somewhere finally!

Those on their 2nd, 3rd plus babies are you bothering with antenatal classes this time? The only reason I would go is to meet other mums in the area due the same time but I really don't see the point paying that much (NCT) to get a few email addresses when I can do that at baby groups for £1 a session once little one is born. On the one hand I suppose I am alone so should build up a bigger local baby circle, but then I really don't feel like I need it yet.

I think I'll be going to the hospital-run one, Random, to see if any of their advice has changed in the last 3 years. They don't run a series of classes here, just a one-off 4-hour session on a Saturday morning. Also quite keen for DH to come with me- he was working abroad from just after conception until I was about 24 weeks last time, so missed all that kind of stuff! I was the only person in the room who didn't bring anyone with them, couldn't even take my sister as she was working!

I might do the NHS one I suppose but last time it was depressingly chavtastic - all Vicki Pollards.

I was thinking it has been a long time but I remember last time they told us everything about the birth and absolutely nothing about how to actually look after the baby once it's born. As I'm having another ELCS I don't need to know anything about birth, I breastfed fine with DD so don't need any lessons in that and I go against all the official advice as I cosleep and very much do attachment parenting, no routines till nursery/school age and hell no to anything like controlled crying and bloody Gina Ford so I tend to not be popular with the professionals at these classes.

Random Like pinky, I'll be doing the NHS one-day 'refresher' (!). My hospital have a class specifically for parents who have already had children, I guess because the parents might have different questions from first timers but still want to be up to date with how the hospital works and the process. I just want to make sure I'm dialling the right number when I go into labour!

Last time I just did the hospital one-day class for newbies, our hospital is in a naice area so it was just full of nervous middle class mums All of their questions were, "What breastfeeding support is available?" and "Can I have a doula present?" etc. All perfectly reasonable, but they stared at me like I was crazy when I asked how common it was to vomit and/or poop in labour (yes, ladies, like the third tri is the time to start burying your head in the sand over the gruesome truths of childbirth...reader, I did both, but the poop fortunately happened in the toilet as I stretched the G&A tube as far it would go...). They also all called me 'brave' for not having found out the sex at 20 weeks. The MW taking the class (not one I ever saw in clinic or the birthing centre, I think she was retired but leading classes) seemed to think buying a baby bath or bath support was pointless, and when she mentioned food after birth I may have jokingly pointed out that there was a 24/7 McDonald's around the corner. She nearly passed out, but not before giving me a long list of reasons as to why it was a terrible idea... Frankly, after having given birth, if I want a Big Mac I'm having a Big Mac. In reality I had no appetite, I lived on squash and rice cakes for weeks! But the principle remains.

In fact, the class wound me up a bit, just because I found that they had a bit of an agenda to push I'm not paranoid, honest - you must have a drug free birth, be all natural, take the hypobirthing course, do the breastfeeding course, arrive with a CD of whale noises and some massage oils... I have no problem with this approach, but it meant they didn't really want to answer questions about the labour ward, which I was still considering at the time, or about the real effects of pethidine (not just, "Ooh, once it's in you can't take it out"). Lots of mums nodding along saying, "Oh yes, no, definitely don't want an injection, no, I'll breathe through it...". It's not about wanting a drug free birth that I objected to, it was the lack of discussion about anything else!

However, it must have had an odd effect on me, as I only had G&A in the birthing centre and pushed without pain relief. Perhaps it's contagious

Anyway, so I'll go, find out what I need to know practically-speaking, and bite my tongue if they start waffling on about other stuff.

Having said all of this, my hospital is fantastic! I live outside of the area of the hospital but self-referred for both pregnancies now as it's just so good and everyone I know who has gone there and done the same has been so glad for it, in terms of the actual clinic and birthing they are so supportive and helpful, really very good.