January 2014 Thread 17 - and the final babies will be here any day now!

[Frizz1986]

Thought i would start up the last thread before we move over to postnatal thread.

Hahaha Toby I've actually just shed a tear laughing at "You're a bastard, a tiny bastard." Hilarious! And exactly how those little buggers make us feel sometimes. Humpty - you are not alone in feeling that way. It's HARD. But it does pass. It's total bloody guesswork at the moment and when there's no break from it, it's HARD. Be kind to yourself. Take five minutes away from her as people have suggested. She will be fine. I left my other DCs to cry at times when they were new and they have no memory of it. I have but they haven't. Take each day as a new day. It will pass.

Oh I feel better now I know others are necking the formula as well. My other two babies were not this greedy so it's been a bit of a shock! But if she's drinking it she must need it... Proper chunk this one

You are all amazing, thank you. DH heard me crying and came in last night and sent me to bed and got her down, so I took your advice, and woke up happy to see her.
Your stories made me laugh and feel a lot more normal, thank you.

I'm glad, humpty :)

Midwife has just been for 10 day check and Henry isn't back up to birth weight yet (which looking at notes was 10lb 7oz not 4oz as we'd thought) which is probably due to the amount of fluid id had so they have to come back Tuesday.,, and he weed all over my pjs so guess I might as well get dressed..,

Hello, lovelies. Congrats on all the new births. Am just going to catch up in the thread properly

humpty - she sounds windy pops. Have you tried dentinox? Tis the stuff of miracles. You have my sympathies. DD is a very efficient winder - via her bottom! However, DS wasn't as good and I remember sobbing in the nights, feeling that I was being tortured and that I was the only person in the whole wide world awake. I was convinced he hated me.

Are you still doing any bottle feeds? If so, can I thoroughly recommend Dr Brown bottles. That helped DS' wind probs massively too

All fine here bar DH evicting me and DD from our sodding bedroom during week nights and is trying to bribe me to bog off with the offer if night feeds in Friday and Saturday. Despite the fact that I have to express anyway

Won't bite you with the details but I have an AIBU thread where everyone has been very kind rather than ripping me to bits. Toby has been running interference with the few who disagree

humpty and anyone else using white noise, have you git a Ewan the Dream Sheep? They are amazing too

Oh - and just to add to the bad mother thoughts, humpty. I used to have terrible intrusive thoughts with DS and one time imagined throwing him over the garden wall in his car seat. And for about 10 seconds actually didnt feel guilty. At. All.

God, I can't believe I just admitted that.

gobbo I read your Aibu thread. My dh is 7ft and our bed has a foot to it because I'm selfish and like the bed so I'm sure your dh could squish up a bit if he needed to!

:o gobbo

Well, if someone who is 7 foot can sleep in a bed with a footboard then a 6 foot 6 midget can

No - he loves our lovely super king bed with a memory foam mattress so want to stay there.

Our spare rom is very nice. Newly decorated with a comfy bed but I do not see why the self appointed bedroom monitor should decide that we need to move out

Am now planning to make a vegetarian dinner that DH hates. Passive aggressive, moi?

gobo also saw your aibu thread.
Hugs, and much tea and cake. Be as passive aggressive as you like. People on aibu don't seem to get its the presentation of the entire thing as a fait accompli. That would piss me off in the extreme.

Argh I'm nominating my DP for services to cockwombledom too.

Asked him to play/interact with DS1 while I stuck the dishwasher on (clearing the dishes he had forgotten about) and made lunch. Came back in to see DS reading to himself from the gruffalo with DP sat next to him on his bastard laptop.

It really just boiled my piss as I had spent most the morning with Cal strapped to me in the moby doing lego with DS and DP taking the easy option of doing fuck all with him. He's a great dad when he wants to be which makes it even more irritating.
Plus DS goes loopy when he sees the laptop. So I'm evil mummy taking it away from them.

Thank you toby.
Also, the Hoover thing is great, those who suggested, but it doesn't make her sleep, just switches her noise off!

Gobbo I saw your AIBU too, but I was crying at the time and no help to anyone. What I would have written was 'I'm with toby, your DH is a thundercunt () and needs to sort alternative bed space for himself if he wishes, be it diagonal sleeping, learning to bend his fucking legs, sleeping in the garden for all I care. You need support, not this shit.'
And knowing you too have had intrusive thoughts really helps, thank you. It's a horrid feeling, but knowing I'm not the only one has got me through five hours of crying this morning (she doesn't give in lightly) and she is finally asleep on me.
I will get Dentinox and DrB bottles, thank you.

enormouse I can kick him in the nuts for you? I have a lot of frustration to get rid of right now

That's ok humpty
He won't be needing those for a very very very long time [evil grin]
I took his toys away (like I do with DS ) and he is reading the gruffalo repeatedly now - complete with accents and enthusiasm.

I agree white noise is fantastic. Doesn't always get Cal to sleep but does calm him right down.

Gobbo I just went and hunted down your thread! My DP is 6ft 4 and has slept on our sofa many times. Tell him to get his act together! Also, why do we all seem to have gigantic men in our lives?!

I read your thread too, gobbo, and I'm with you as well. I particularly relate to the 'helping you out' frustration. As far as I'm concerned, he works during working hours, I look after the baby. Outside those hours, why should baby care default to me? Apart from BF, obviously! Yesterday, he flung himself down on the sofa and asked whether I needed help with anything. I pointed out that if he wanted an evening meal, he was going to have to prepare it because I can't really do it with a small person permanently glued to my front, ffs!

They just don't get how hands on it is, do they? Or how every minute she's asleep I'm running around feeding myself and the cats or doing laundry. It's almost better when DH is away and DM comes over for an hour or two and just holds the baby while I do what I need to do.

Sounds like we had a similar night humpty. She was getting ever so frustrated and cross - I don't know whether it's because she's got a blocked nose again. She snuffles loudly while trying to feed and snores like a pig her daddy when she's asleep.

Yay for more frustrated people. I find myself groaning and getting very frustrated with aurelia when she is crying, or wont settle, or wont feed properly. Have decided that i dont think our sucking/clicking issue is the latch as she can feed for several mins and without either of us moving, it starts and then it can stop just as quickly.

Have had a brill day with her today. Playing on her mat and she has been really farty which is great as i think it had built up a lot!

Birthday tomorrow tho so am hoping dh will be uber hands on after work and family are visiting this weekend which means i will only be required to feed her!

Ah humpty hope you are feeling better.

Gobbo that would annoy me as well if Dh told me I had to move rooms

enormouse glad your dh bucked up and started interacting with ds

I felt like the worst mum last night. I was waiting for Olivia to fall asleep after feed at 3 this morning before putting her back in her crib and I drifted off. Woke up and she had slipped off my chest. She was fine but I panicked myself in case anything had happened!

I also lied to my MIL this morning as I didn't want to go for a walk (been out nearly every day for past week) so said I was waiting in for a parcel I did say she could pop in for a cup of tea so I'm not all bad.

Bit stressed here as Dh wants to hand in his notice at work before securing another job. He has to give 8weeks notice which does give him time to find something else, and he can do supply work till he finds something but it would be a strain financially. I think he needs to do it though as work is just putting too much pressure on him and he is all ready stressed as it is. Fx everything turns out ok.

nature it will be stressful but i have always said to dh that i would rather him be out of work and trying to get supply than hate the job he is in. With a young baby you dont need the stress of one of you being really low if there is something that can be done about it. Thankfully he likes the job he is in now (until the end of the school year) as he didnt get any supply work while he was looking.

Humpty right there with you. Having a baby has made me realise why people stay with asshole husbands. Fuck doing it by yourself.

Gobbo sleeping bag on the floor may be good for your DH. Loads of leg room.

Good tip about the white noise although I have discovered that H enjoys podcasts, discovered completely by accident, Tell em Steve Dave and Bill Burr send her soundly to sleep. Does it make me a bad parent the language is pretty fowl to say the least? I have told her in no uncertain terms has she isn't to repeat it. Hee hee.

Toby my sister just asked me why I'm laughing, but don't think she'd 'get' it! I'll never be able to sing 'you are my sunshine' again without smiling at your words!
Also, thanks for the tips with the moby. Will have another go in a bit.

nature I'm another advocate of happiness before jobs! my DH gave up his vile, but well paid job in July last year, to write a book. My family and his do NOT get it and keep asking 'when is he going to start looking for work', but the happy, content, kind, thoughtful man I've got back (in place of the alcoholic workaholic with a Blackberry welded to his hand) is worth the reduced income.
It helps that we have savings, meant for a house deposit, which we are using as back up for now. Even if we don't buy for five years, it'll have been worth it.
And the book is good! Whether he'll get published, I have no idea, but he's happy for the first time in seven years.
Good luck!

gobbo have ordered Ewan and Dentinox and a Dr B bottle. That Amazon Prime membership is coming in pretty handy...

band so true. I'd have cracked up by now if I had to do this alone.