RM OCTOBER 2014 thread - Today we are pregnant

[TinyTear]

Hi
This is a thread for people due in October with past miscarriage issues, so we don't scare the 'regular' October people and we don't annoy the RM thread with our pregnancy talk...

TinyTear MC May 2010, MC June 2010, MC November 2010, DD Jan 2012, MC October 2013 ADD 6th October

Hey Handsful nice to see you here, it's getting good and busy! My alleged due date is Oct 7th, but that's just silly. TIAP

Can I very tentatively join?? Done three tests today and all very faintly positive. Slightly in shock... This will be my third child (2 DSs, aged 4 and 2.10).

Another vintage person here, Minty, I'm 42 - you're not alone! Good to see that there is a good contingent of 40+ ladies here

Welcome newbies! Lots of hand-holding here through the first few crazy weeks, you have come to the right place.

Good luck to all of you that are having scans this week, I'm . I'm waiting to hear back from the mw about when I'll be having my booking in appointment...

Anyone else feels as if they are popping pills/applying medical treatments all the time?! I do progesterone twice a day, then the heparin injections, aspirin and the pg vitamins, mornings and evenings are busy times! Constantly worried that I might either forget or take a double-dose, I think I need a daily tick-off list

jbrd I wish I had some stuff to pop, it would feel like I'm doing something positive instead of just sitting and glumly wondering whether things will go wrong again. I hate the 3 mcs before investigations rule, I feel so powerless!

Hello Kat welcome, it is nice to see a few third timers on here. On days I struggle with my two, I wonder if nature has been trying to tell me enough is enough!

Can you tell I'm working from home today? Mega productive bursts in between getting far too excited about the bfp. I am sooooo distracted.

JBird I am like a pincushion LOL. Don't mind though - really helps the anxiety because I just think "OK, I'm not bleeding, I feel well - wait until my 6am pills and injections and that should protect me another 24hr". FX that's what they're doing!!

Hey guys. Ugh I can't stop WORRYING. I am at work and I am so distracted and sad, wondering whether or not baby is still alive. I know I need to be more positive.

My concerns are as follows: Friday baby measured smaller than I would have hoped, by one day according to doctor and hadnt grown since the last scan (tuesday) as mentioned. Boobs stopped hurting on Saturday morning (but came back in afternoon/evening). Could do no.2's during the non-boob hurting phase with ease, but have since gone back to constipated. Whats that all about? Have had some tummy cramps but not sure if these are just stretching pains etc. Ugh. I am beyond EFFED off with all this.

The other issue is that when I go to the GP tomorrow to BEG for a referral to EPU i am probably going to have to CRY to be heard and go through all sorts of anxiety to ensure she takes me seriously. My sister who lives in Bournemouth can just call EPU directly and they let you refer yourself.

Any tips on PMA at all? I am SO trying, I don't mean to be so doom and gloom and I know I am probably sounding irrational but I can't keep loading this on my husband. I think he is getting a bit frustrated with me to be honest.

Jbrd shake me and I rattle! Actually, don't. I'm feeling like a sick dog and that Waggon Wheel won't taste so good 2nd time round!

Unfortunately I can't enjoy symptom spotting as I think most of them are caused by the progesterone. They might be starting to increase, so hopefully there's some of my hormones kicking in.

Handsful apart from progesterone and aspirin, everything else is self proscribed, but I know what you mean. I have clexane envy!

Hey tum cross post.

So sorry you're going through all this. It is such a worrying time.

It's a bummer you can't self refer to your EPU, and I hope your gp is sympathetic.

My epac nurse was happy to talk over the phone, if that's an option, and she was good at putting some of my anxiety into proportion. She is right. There is nothing we can do once we're pg apart from wait and be kind to ourselves. I was feeling like it was all over before it even got going, but I don't know this.

Just know we're here for you, we won't judge or think you're bonkers cos we all know how you feel. Big hugs. x

Thanks so much tanny I am so glad I have you guys to speak to. Hopefully I can help advise as well if you guys need me. I will keep you posted.
Has anyone got any tips on ensure I can definitely get a scan tomorrow?

tum I just had a thought.

Today I was talking to a colleague who is experiencing a ton of mixed emotions at the moment, and she finds herself thinking "I feel really low about this, I SHOULD feel positive because loads of good things are happening" or the opposite, "I feel great and life is good, but I SHOULD feel rubbish because this shit thing has happened to me".

We talked about it and about how negative it is to judge our own feelings like this, which we were both doing, and how being mindful and accepting the emotions as they are can take some of the sting away.

We work for a mental health and addiction agency, and use mindfulness a lot to encourage people to take time to listen to how they feel.

Here is a link to some self guided free mindfulness meditations, not ones we use at work, but just some I found through Google. I don't know if they are any use, but I think some deep breathing and some space to be calm might help us all. Mindfulness Meditations

Thanks Tanny this is really helpful. I have always been open to this kind of thing. I did some CBT back in 2008 as I got anxiety (randomly and out of the blue). So I am quite conscious of my worries and irrational thoughts and keeping them in check but sometimes (well in pregnancy) they seem to take over a little bit. I have been using meditation to get to sleep at night which helps and has meant I am getting proper sleep.

I will check out this link and thank you so much for offering up this help, I really appreciate it. x

I just went to log bfp at doctors. I think some of the trauma of the mmc, erpc with evil anaesthetist ("are you here for your abortion?"), infection and long stay in a shoddy hospital got to me. I was shaking and couldn't stop crying for about 5 minutes. Poor guy, he was really nice and reassuring. The midwife will get me an early scan, because blimey, if anyone needs reassuring it's the madwoman blubbering at her gp. And now DH won't answer phone, so I'm telling you guys.

We must all wash our salads carefully, apparently.

Handsfull I'm just back from drs to collect my folic acid prescription as I need higher dose and self referred to mw. The dr can't see me for wks so I requested to fill in the form by myself. This was ok until it asked for all my pregnancy history then I was a mess too, standing at the reception desk like an idiot!

Sweetpea that's tough you had to do it yourself. There's no way you should have had to do it at the reception desk! I started sobbing the minute I saw the GP in the corridor, big girl's blouse. I felt quite sorry for him, poor chap! Off to retrieve the dcs now, work is done, so let the chaos commence...

Having a panic today- dont feel pregnant at all!
My boobs are just heavy and only felt a bit sick before having tea as later staff meeting than normal. Have had hardly any symptoms this pregnancy but now less than ever ( should be 9w 2d today). Put weight on with the 3 miscarriages last year anyway as eat when stressed so no noticeable weight change (have a bit of a belly anyway). Just not sure how I can cope till a week on thu.
Woke in the night with period type cramps. So scared of a missed miscarriage. My heads a mess :(

Hey handsful that sounds horrendous at your last Erpc. I had the same behaviour, very little sympathy and was the only one that day not having a chosen abortion and was put into the same category. Was a very difficult day.
Isn't it incredible what wrecks this sends us into on what should be a very happy and exciting time. Sounds like your gp was nice and understanding which is the main thing. I find sympathy and a caring attitude really really goes a long way with me. I love the lady at EPU she's so nice to me (when I can get an appointment).
Hey milly just wanted to say hi, I really can understand what you're going through today as I too am v worried. Sending you support.
Hi to everyone else! X

MillyI know it's easy to say but please please don't stress.
Saying that I poas again this evening!
With each mmc I put on weight too. In the space of a year I was pregnant 3 times. So if this goes full term, after I hope to lose the weight from 5 pregnancies!

Oh milly you poor love, in your shoes I'd be having a proper full on wobble. Can't say anything useful, but have a hug.

tum how dare they? It makes me so angry that they didn't help, they added to my grief. I get the shakes just thinking of it.

Yes to mmc weight gain, not helped by post mmc comfort eating at Christmas. Still, I am going to grow big with blessings and treasure every second I'm carrying this little bean when I'm not sobbing all over the doctor that is

Tum opposite here, the ladies at epu have always been very unsympathetic with me. As if they couldn't care less. when I had my second erpc I couldn't have told you who was in for what as I was in a separate room rather than on the ward. However the first time I was on a ward and we heard the dr give one couple bad news, the poor girl crying etc. they knew it was a boy so most probably after 20wks. All that separated us was a curtain. We also heard a dr on the phone going into loads of patient detail. It was horrible.

I am at some of your experiences with doctors/EPUs - that is truly appalling. It's where you need support the most, you are so vulnerable.
sweet YY to the useless curtains in hospital - I don't get why they bother using them! They might as well get everyone to sit around in a circle and share their stories. I too have overheard some incredibly personal and harrowing stories. At one appointment, DH and I started a completely random conversation, just so that we wouldn't have to listen to the story of the lady on the other side of the curtain - I felt so sorry for her, this is now how it should be.

Overall, I think I have been very lucky, apart from one stupid sonographer who gave me the 'Well, you have a DS, so at least you know it can work' line. Unfortunately, I was in no condition for a snappy reply

Hope you're feeling better Milly and tum This limbo is just awful, we all know how you are feeling. One day at a time, small small steps.

tanny What are your progesterone symptoms? I don't seem to have any so far! I read that it can cause diarrhea, but so far, I'm more constipated than anything (sorry for tmi). But that might also have to do with the fact that I'm not nearly exercising enough as I used to at the moment. But that's because I have this flipping toothache that is driving me mental. On top of everything else.

I'm really too about the way you've all been treated. I've had some dickish remarks and the gynae who wanted to whip out a fallopian tube without knowing if I had an ectopic or BO...

Jbrd my progesterone symptoms are like pg ones. Nausea, overwhelming tiredness, sore boobs, wind and bloating. I think using them up my bum has stopped any constipation!

Like I say, it's hard to know where they end and I begin!

Tanny I've also had a junior doc who couldn't wait to cut me open and have a rummage ... luckily the nurse rang the gynie consultant on the golfcourse who had stern words indeed with him. What I heard through the curtain that day was someone getting a telling off for not being able to diagnose properly!

Squiz, that's a conversation I would have liked to hear though the curtain!

I POAS this morning, and the line is much more definite and properly there, so that, combined with nearly chundering this morning, is making me feel a bit more relaxed

Still another week til I can go to EPAC for a scan, so plenty of time to get the fear between now and then.

Yay tanny! How often are you testing? I have only done the one, wondering if it would be nice to do another. I am symptomless really, apart from throbbing legs, which I always get!

I only did one single test.... don't think i will do another