February 2014 - babies flying out all over the joint!

[marzipanned]

We've now welcomed mini sun, dawn, kat, zazou and selfies (please tell me I haven't missed anyone...)....who will be next?!

Those of us waiting impatiently will be showing down on dates, pineapple, RLT and curry while having awkward whale sex.

Champers I went into full labour exhausted and with a cold. The cold went, and the exhaustion didn't matter. Hormones get you through it all

Ask me again in a few days and I will be on my knees with lack of sleep probably lol

Ok insomnia has struck and I thought I'd ask you lovely ladies for some perspective.. A mini AIBU..

Kept our ELCS date a secret but under duress from my parents told them a fib and told them a date 2 days later than the real date. Also stressed that things may not go to plan so please don't go making any arrangements to visit (they live 2.5hrs away).

Yesterday DM announces that they have both booked off fake ELCS date and the following day so they can "be here to help" and of course it'll be fine for them to use our spare room as usual right? Then suggested that they thought they could be useful by taking my baby out in the pram and stuff to give me some rest. It will be 2 days old (in their minds)

AIBU in thinking this is all a bit much? In reality it will be born 2 days earlier than they think but those 48hrs I will be in hospital with DH by my side. Then they will show up and want to "help".

I am feeling disappointed that my vision of coming home from hospital as a new family of 3 is now going to be ruined. I do know they are extremely excited to meet their first grandchild and it is a bit tricky as they can just pop round due to living so far away. But I'm worried they will make our first precious days at home as a new family all about them and what they want to do with their new grandchild. There is already talk of taking it for walks in the pram. I want to be the one who takes it out for the first time. Also I am going to be trying to bf - how can I do that if they have my baby and I'm stuck in bed nursing a CS scar?

Sorry for the woe is me post. I know I should assert my feelings but they will be crushed as they see it as only trying to help me and have seemingly gone to a lot of trouble to negotiate leave from work.

AIBU or just hormonal preggo?!?!

jazz you are not being unreasonable! My family live a similar distance away and have been the same.

I put my foot down about my family staying after the birth, and my parents came down for the day. My mum was upset but now isn't the time to worry about her feelings. My sister wanted to come down and stay this weekend and again I had to say no.

parents can be great but they forget what it's like!

Ruey and Champagne - hope you both got some sleep. I drifted off somehow but still have stomach pains this morning! I really hope this doesn't go on for next few weeks.

Jazz - you're not being unreasonable. I think you just need to explain the reality of cs and that you need some time to get home and established as a little family before others come along. Easier said than done I know but it's got to be about you and the baby. X

Jazz not sure if it's do-able for you, but DH and I always use each other as excuses. So I would say that 'DH wants no visitors for a week, I really want to see you and would love your support but think he might be right. You'll be the first to meet it etc'. By that time you'll have had all your firsts and be a bit more recovered/established.

I'm feeling like a total failure who has fallen at the last hurdle. My cough of THREE weeks has turned into a really stinky cold. I have torn a muscle in my back coughing so am in mega pain and therefore extra hoping I don't go into labour anytime soon as I feel I need an epidural to cough. Am going to see the doctor at 8.30 but not sure why as I know he won't be able to do anything. Feeling very deflated.

Jazz mine and dh family also live 3-4 hours away so when they come they come for at least 24 hours.

I had a discussion with my parents about what I would like post birth. When it was just my mum visiting she stayed in our spare room but when the whole family came down my dm booked a hotel (no prompting from me!). I told her I would like df to feed me (my dad is an amazing cook) and I would like someone to take care of the house and me and dh would sort out the baby :D My mum constantly kept me fed and watered and the house immaculate (she vacuumed EVERY day - unheard of in my house!). They felt useful and I felt rested

My inlaws had the good grace to wait til the following weekend. Dmil did take ds out for a walk for 1/2 an hour but he was going through the day 10 growth spurt and needed to feed constantly. They did feck all and I could have done without them being in my personal space (they are lovely but I had 3 of them staying in our small house), esp as I was still trying to establish bf and the sleep deprivation was really catching up with me!

Shrops if you have been poorly for so long and coughing so much the DR might be able to give you antibiotics? I hope you feel better soon x

I agree shrops you should be able to get some antibiotics for the cough at least. But I know thw cough ouch pain cycle so really feel for you!

Not unreasonable in tje slightest jazz to want some new family time. I know parents are all excited but it is how you feel that matters and they should support you. Never an easy conversation to have but just try and explain later would be better and then they can help with x, y, z much more.

Baby 3/5 engaged over here so feeling good (not when I walk). She's apparently a bit back to back though so need to get on that ball. My mw hasn't said anything to me about birthplans however, is there anything unobvious I may want to think about? Must write one this weekend to be safe (watxh me go to 42 wks now)

Oih and shrops have a good sweep!

Congratulations lastnight that's a lovely birth story.

jazz I think honesty is always the best policy. Maybe tell them the real section date and say you'd like a few days with the baby at home first.

Well I went to see the Consultant Midwife after my disappointing session with the Registrar. She was brilliant and made me feel very looked after. So they'll assess me for a 39 week induction, with a sweep at 38 weeks so I can potentially have a vbac. She also booked a cesarean in for 39 weeks just in case I change my mind.
Has anyone on this thread had a vbac?

I then found out the origional registrar had forgotten to book my 38.5 week CS, I think she was more interested in her lunch break!

Winter if baby is a bit back to back I would put in birth plan that you will not labour or deliver on your back (unless YOU want to) and you would like guidance on optimal positioning (my mw's helped me move on to all 4's at the foot of my bed, propped up on a birthing ball and holding on to the foot rail! This enabled ds to turn and have a nice easy delivery).

I hit the magic 37 weeks today :D But actually hope baby doesn't arrive yet as I am going away for the weekend and I can't have a home birth if I'm not at home! Also I have decided to sort of finish work a week tomorrow at 38+1 (might do some work from home after that) and dh has to go away on 4,5 and 10th Feb. After 10th Feb I really don't mind if baby makes an arrival

Petty Yay! I get there on Sunday.
My date of 'you can arrive now' is also the 10th because we have our Doula on call from then.
I still have so little sense of urgency. I felt more panicked at 27 weeks, honestly. Haven't packed the bag yet, washed the clothes or... well, pretty much anything. I feel like I have ages. (Tempts fate and goes into labour tonight)

Jazz I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. Since you've already told them a fake date I'm not sure that I would now go back and tell them the real date as it then makes it look like you're trying to hide things from them and they might not take your request to have time as a family of three so seriously. I'd do what someone else suggested re telling your DM what your vision of the first week/fortnight/however long you want to be left alone is like and that it's really important to you. You can always make a joke about it (which I have) "Oh I'm sure when baby number two comes along I'll want all hands on deck, but this is my first born and I'm being a bit precious about it...ha ha ha" (not really being precious at all )

I'm having some similar concerns here. MIL booked to come a fortnight after EDD, I told her that I wanted to the first fortnight to be just the three of us so she booked fully flexible flights which she could change if baby came late. All good.
However, she's now arranged a huge family dinner the weekend of her arrival and has booked (presumably non flexible!) flights for various other family members to come up. Still all good - except she's also now saying she will stay at ours instead of at BIL's (the original plan).

DH will tell her whatever I ask him to so I'm pretty sure I'll get my way of not having anyone to stay for the first fortnight, but having spent time yesterday with NCT friend whose baby is now two weeks old I don't think I want anyone staying for the first...ages...for more than a night. She was saying that having people come in during the day time to help is lovely but even better is the evening when her DH gets home from work and they spend time a a little trio. So, anyway, I think that's something to bear in mind - if your DH has been away all day (back at work) do you really want to share him with anyone else (besides your baby!) when he's home in the evening?

Yikes, essay.

Jazz I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I don't think we took DS out in the pram until about day 6, it just didn't seem like something we would have wanted to do, just wanted to be snuggled up at home (especially being in winter) feeding on demand as required. I would also hate the idea of family descending and wanting to stay in my house that first week. My ILs live a 2.5hr drive away and they will probably make their first visit a day trip, to us and back the same day, most likely towards the end of the first week I would expect. They also have a few family members who live fairly near us so they could always stay there to break up their trip if they want. Now that we have moved DS into our old 'spare' room, our only guest option really is the sofa bed downstairs which I don't think would be especially comfortable for them and I wouldn't want the intrusion in my house. I want to be free for me or DH to nod off on the sofa at any time of day or night due to new baby exhaustion and not have it out of bounds! Luckily my parents are only a 1hr 20min drive away and always happy to visit us as a day trip. I would expect them to come and visit on day 1 or 2 depending on how the birth goes. Good luck negotiating!

So happy for you, lastnight! Glad you had a good birthing experience this time around :) Olivia Grace is a beautiful name.

Also can't sleep, BH still being a pain in the bum(p) and because of my cold I can't breathe regardless of how I lie! Had about 3 hours sleep in the last 30 hours, and the builders on both the flat above and next to mine keep me awake from 7am to 7pm anyway! rant over :P

Jazz I would be very frustrated if that was my parents, and I'd tell them to bugger off (nicely). You're not being unreasonable at all - their plan sounds really stressful! We'll be asking everyone apart from my dad and sister to stay away the first week. But they live 10 mins away so it's not like they need anything here!

Shrops I hope you feel better soon! Not good to feel so rubbish when labour is so close

Petty grats! I get there on sunday too, like Julietee :) Also would like baby on the 10th, as that's when my other half gets paid and he might be able to take time off work after all :P

Jazz, I don't think you are being at all unreasonable! My mum's coming up for my ELCS, but I know she will be a massive help with the boys, doing school run etc to enable DH to be with me, and will no doubt do more housework than I would as well as keep DH and the boys fed and watered. She will stay til I'm out of hospital, go home for the weekend to give us some privacy, in her words, then come back in her half term when DH is working (he's postponing his PL til the week after half term). She has said over and over that she wants to do what is most helpful for us, and doesn't want to get in the way or stop us from having 'family time'.

Having read the problems others are having with parents/ ILs, I'm immensely grateful our family all waited to be asked or checked when was most convenient before visiting... With DS1 (1st gc), my mum drove 2.5 hours each way on the same day to visit me in hospital for a couple of hours but wouldn't stay over even though we had 2 spare rooms, as she 'didn't want to intrude'!

Thanks all for your words of support. Small amounts of progress have been made today. I fibbed a little and said that DH wanted to do the Dad thing and bring us home from hospital himself (parents wanted to do it) and they accepted this. Also said we will expect them to host themselves and they said of course, we can even do shopping/cook food while me and DH do baby. Then said we will see how we are getting on in terms of tiredness/stress at the time with regards to their length if stay - they had hoped to stay for 4nights! I'm thinking 2 max. They are visiting me today and I'm already sick of hearing 'when we had you we did this' and 'those safety warnings are rubbish, never did you any harm' etc etc. 4 days of that advice on top of zero sleep and painful CS scar spells trouble in my mind!

I need to be more ballsy and tell them what I really want but I know how upset they'll be. So in reality I will grit my teeth and try to get through the two days they've booked off work then have some sort of hormonal plea to ask for some time alone and would they please bugger off!

Yaaaay I have finally managed to catch up on the thread! Our new carpet finally got delivered today so the whole downstairs and babies room were out of bounds and I've been trapped in out bedroom surrounded by furniture from everywhere else so got a chance go just sit and go on mumsnet

It's so exciting to hear about all the new babies arriving and the positive signs of imminent labour

I would definitely agree with trying to ward off visitors for the first week if you can - unless it's for short periods and they know they have up be very useful!

Not much news here, just settling into life with a baby and still struggling on with trying to breast feed and making progress with the nipple shields. Went to the hospital this morning to check my infected episiotomy and the consultant said it looks like the infection is gone but it's still abit "sluffy said it's healing well tho and will just take a while.

I then did a quick Morrisons trip (car seat in trolley as I couldn't be steed figuring out the proper baby trolleys in the rain). It feels good to be starting to venture out altho I've still not done an out of house nappy change and am a long way off being able to bf outside so have to take expressed milk just incase. Now I should go and help DH start putting the house back together - and maybe soon well be able to sort the nursery!

I hope things start moving soon for all of you struggling with the horrors of late pregnancy! x

Jazz - sounds really stressful for you with your parents, I'm not surprised you didn't tell them the proper section date (although I'm nosey and want to know your date as it's probably close to mine but I promise not to visit )
My parents are in North London and I'm Manchester so not near either - however this is their fourth grandchild in total and they know the drill luckily! They're coming up on the train which is around 2 hours just for the afternoon on the Saturday (after the section on Thurs) and as I'll still most likely be in hospital they're just expecting to see me at visiting hours. Luckily PIL will look after them for a few hours afterwards before they get their train home. I appreciate them coming up to see us as I will want to see my mum then and for them to meet the baby, but at least they don't have to stay! A couple of weeks after that they're also visiting but are staying at one of their friends who lives about 15 mins away, so we'll just see them for short bursts of time which is more mangageable.
Bear in mind Jazz that you could be in hospital for more than 2 nights - hopefully you won't be but with DD I was in for 4 nights to help get feeding established and she was a bit jaundiced. Another reason to put your parents off for longer if you can. And also remind them that they won't get any sleep in your house with you as your baby will be crying through the night!
MissKat - sounds like you're doing really well. And you finally have a new carpet - hurrah!
I'm on countdown now (not the programme) until Thurs which is ELCS day! Just feel shattered all the time now and can't move off the sofa. DD has been plonked in front of the tv for most of the afternoon but we did go to her dance class this morning. I really should make the most of this opportunity to spend loads of quality time with her but am just so sleepy. Luckily she does entertain herself quite well.
I also feel quite a lot of pressure down below which I never had with DD as she was breech, which makes me panic that baby will try to escape this week but I'm sure it's just normal for a head down position!

TThanks petty that's a really good point and I hadn't thought about including positions in my plan.

misskat sounds like you're doing so well! And great the house is getting sorted even if it's in temporary chaos.

Am suffering from insomnia lately, just don't want to sleep. Well I want, body doesn't. But then I was.so knackered today and had to nap around 18hish. Maybe that's what is stopping me sleeping now zzzz

Hi Everybody,

Huge congrats to all those who have already welcomed their babies. Sure no one remembers me from first thread but my horrid ms took me from mn and I just became a watcher once recovered (cannot believe some of you still have it). Hope you don't mind me saying hi now. I am due 26th Feb but have ELCS booked for 19th following EMCS last time and a few other bits including vulval varicose veins which is nasty and really hope will go when baby comes. It's my 2nd DD btw and 1st turns 4 on 21st so it's all quite tight as her party is 15th :-)

Welcome back pops how has it all been going? I bet you are excited?

jazzcat I agree with lots of other posters who've said family staying can just get a bit much in the first few days. pils stayed while I was in hospital and it made that time more about them than us (dh spent more time with them than me or the baby ) I was also really teary when I got home which I wouldn't have wanted anyone other than dh to see/support me through. my pain/activity levels went up and down over the days so there's no knowing in advance which days you'll need their help/support and when you'd prefer some space.

It's just taken me an hour to completely empty one boob in a marathon expressing session. It got really sore really quickly last night and Dr Google says it's probably a blocked duct which can be helped by giving it a good clear out each time. Seems to be working but the noise of the pump is starting to drive me mad!

Hope those of you with painful bh/possible early labour signs aren't kept waiting too much longer

Oh and hi pops - welcome back