BFP wishes came true - thread 3

[RedRobin1]

A big fat welcome party for twinkle and just another thread for us all to keep in touch

I used to express at 10 red when they were in bed and droped that first feed but you do get more in the mornings I know

Think I'm going to try incoperating some of these ideas to form a routine for ds3. He sleeps well at night at really, he wakes every 2-3 hours for a feed and usually settles well in his bednest. It's just the initial sleep where he refuses to settle anywhere but in our bed.
The MW suggested we need to space out our feeds in the day because he is a "snacker and a snoozer" according to her analysis. He does tend to feed for 10 minutes every 45 mins but I honestly can't seem to stretch it out any further during the day. The constant snacking is making me very sore but I will persevere! He also won't sleep anywhere but on me during the day either so I think we've fallen into some bad habits early on.
Yes, its you next twinkle! Normally this is met with panic but I think you're safe from the labour worries at this point. How many weeks are you now?

Hello! I had 4 hrs sleep last night!! After only 1 the night before! And that's because I fell asleep feeding ds2 - I woke with my arm in exactly the same position and ds2 asleep in the crook, with boob hanging gracefully out!! Thank goodness for sore post-cs tummies or I might have just turned over - I was very alarmed when I realised what happened - and remember it well from ds1 days...

Cannot believe I've got 2 now! I really had not allowed myself to think about it after all the TTC stress and worrying and was so overwhelmed when ds1 got excited and said 'oh I love him mummy'! It was so sweet!

The cs was ok- delayed start didn't help stress levels but anaesthetist was amazing and midwives this time were brilliant (compared with previous hospital!!) but it was such a strange experience having someone cut me open and pop out a baby!! Just like that! Very emotional and then couldn't do any skin to skin for ages as the diamorphine made me I'll again (just extreme dizziness no vomiting this time thank goodness!!) but after that wore off it was lovely and he is amazing! Now if we could just agree on a name...!

All these tips are great! Keep them coming!

you've all got a long way to wait for me to give birth! I'm 15 weeks and 1 day.

ordered some baby clothes which came today - sooooo exciting!

Aww, that is so sweet of your ds1. I got very emotional when ds2 walked in to see ds3 in my arms. He started laughing and crying at the same time. It really makes all the TTC stress and pregnancy worth it to see the family altogether. So glad it went well for you.
We are also having issues with falling asleep during feeds. DP is terrified I'm going to crush him to the point where he said I was crushing ds3's arm yesterday. His arm was resting under my boob. How big does he think my boobs are exactly?
I think we may have made progress on stretching out his feeds today. My mum waded in and settled him down for a 3 hour sleep and he is now staying awake to feed properly.
Is that your first baby purchase twinkle? It really makes everything feel real when you hold those tiny baby clothes.

Fatas I'm another one who falls asleep holding dd while feeding! It's better now when she just feeds for 20mins but the cluster feeding days were hard.

I'm trying the more feeds in the day approach to see if she will go longer at night!

twinkle I remember buying my first clothes for baby - it's lovely shopping for them! One thing I wish someone had told me though is to look for easy to wear clothes i.e no babygros with weird buttons on the back or ones that are hard to get on them!! I never bothered putting them on dd as all I kept thinking is taking them off for nappy changes will be a royal palaver!

Aw twinkle that's lovely :) I second red tho - don't buy clothes with buttons on the back. Or I found hoods a pain too. and a tip I only learned on baby number 2. - vests have envelope necks so they can be pulled down and off if baby has a poo explosion so you don't need to pull a pooey vest over their head! Genius!

I'm off to bed now as ds has just fallen asleep on me yay :) night all. Hopefully get at least 5 hours out him. He did 6 last night.

Baby clothes with buttons on the back is crazy talk! Unless your baby likes being face planted on the mat at changing time!

After three nights of our new earlier night routine (7:30pm) going quite well, she's in a strange mood tonight - she's still awake at 11pm and hasn't slept! Has been crying, feeding, winding, smiling, playing in her jungle gym....surely she must be shattered! It's not like she's slept much at all today. She's nearly 10 weeks (12 weeks by due date) - could it be a growth spurt? Am holding on to the hope she'll go to sleep soon and do a good run of sleep!

Our early routine didn't work on dd as she wanted to cluster feed all evening inspite of getting 6 feeds in the day. She's still doing 4hour blocks at night though so we are going to leave her be for a few more weeks and then try again.

She refuses to take the bottle of expressed milk though and at my wits end. Thinking of not giving her a bottle for 2 weeks and just ebf till she's 8 weeks. Anyone have any tips on how to get dd to take the bottle? We tried the diff bottles and teats route. She just screams bloody murder as soon as we give her the bottle.

There will always be growth spurts with bf children so it never works as "clockwork" as bottle fed where you can add abit more if they are hungry so don't fret, they usually only last a couple of days, most times my dds went every 3 hours but there were times they seemed to want it all the time, luckily for me it was usually in the day although at 4 months I had a regress with dd2, she also point blank refused the bottle red, I'd never had any problems with dd1 or her until about the same age as your dd then I tried to give it her the same as the night before and she screamed blue murder, I persisted for about 5 days until she used to get herself so worked up I admitted defeat and stoped trying for quite a while, I tried 3 different bottles as we had them to no avail, another girl I knew tried everyone on the market literally and still her baby wouldn't, the only thing that worked with mine was I tried a month later when she was abit older and instead of it being the night time bottle when she was tired and wanted to nuzzle I gave it her at 4 when she wasn't tired and she just took it no problems, then after a few more weeks of it always at 4 I tried it at night and she's been fine ever since, I'd probably do as you suggest and stop pushing it for a few weeks while she's got a negative association with it then try again

Is it really bad to be secretly hoping for a girl?

twinkle I was the same as you! I prayed and wished all my wishes last year for it to be a girl! It's not bad at all.

I would have been happy with a boy too and would have loved my son to bits but if I didn't have dd I would have always had a bit of a hole in my life that I didn't get the chance to have a mother-daughter relationship. It was simply a biological need in me to have a girl. I don't think I want anything more in life. Everyday I am thankful for my wish coming true. I feel complete

I feel bad for saying it out loud but I think I would have loved my babies no matter what. Just if it were a boy I would have always wondered what it would be like to have a daughter and that relationship that my mum and I share.

I sadly had a gender preference

How are your legs winkle? Hairy?
I think a massive percent of people have a preference for the sex they want but don't like to admit it or wouldn't mind the other anyway iyswim of the ones I know who didn't get the sex they wanted both wanted the opposite second time around ie wanted a girl first, got a boy and then wanted another boy

Aw red that's really sweet and so good to hear that you feel like you are complete. That's great.

Today I'm telling myself not to be so stupid and that I don't mind the sex! Hormones!

kit - come to think of it i can't remember the last time i shaved them!

Girl then
Hormones are pesky things!

Did anybody else get nausea and sickness in week 15-16? The retching is back :(

Yep I'm guessing girl for you too if the shavings stopped! My hair growth slowed down considerably...

My nausea and sickness slowed at 12weeks but returned with full force at 14weeks and then stopped at 16weeks. I thought I was going to die of vomitting in a toilet at week 14 though (shudder!!!) you have my sympathies twinkle...

When it stopped it felt like a switch had been flicked. You just suddenly wake up one day feeling normal again. I was just so happy to be hungry and wanting to eat. week 17 was when I felt human.

Help - am so miserable with feeding - nipples so excruciatingly painful so tried to rest one side and express but was getting less and less and then tried nipple shield but he was so hungry I had to give up on those too (I think the flow was too slow for him?) and after further cluster feeding on painful nipples I had to give in and now he has had a bottle of formula and I feel like a complete failure and so sad that I haven't manage to meet his demands, and worse that I might be making poor supply worse by giving formula
Has anyone else had this and still been able to establish a good supply?? I don't understand why the pump didn't work...it's a good one and worked ok the first time.

Fatas how much are you getting from expressing? And isn't it only day 3 or 4 since giving birth?

My nipples were bleeding lightly and excruciatingly painful the first 2 weeks. The first 3 days I had hardly anything coming out of either nipple. My milk came in on day 4 and some more on day 5. Day 6 was when I started leaking and had to express from engorgement. But the point is - it takes time for milk to come in and sometimes it can take a little longer. You are not a failure by any means, try to persevere with bf if you can as ds will stimulate your supply as yes it can be very frustrating the first week and painful! But it will get better.

Don't feel bad about giving formula. You did what you felt was right. Are you getting colostrum for now? I remember they have tiny marble sized stomachs the first few days so won't need much. The cluster feeding is just their way of increasing that milk to flow.

Also fatas I remember dd crying from 10.30pm to 5am as she was so hungry but I had very little and she just wanted to suckle all night long. That was on day 2. I had come close to cracking open the aptamil carton!

It is hard for the first 2 weeks and your nipples will soften. Week 3 was when they stopped hurting (only slightly) and week 4 I just had to count to 10 when she latched first and then by the time I reached 10 it stopped hurting and she would suckle away and I wouldn't even realise as my nipples had gotten so soft and used to her suckles.

Just to say 6 weeks along and we still have breast feeding niggles but it seems much easier now than those early days!

I'm day 6 now and milk came in about 2-3 days ago so no problems there - in fact painful engorgement is a minor issue (I remember it from last time!) - I had 50ml first express, then next time only 25 ml then 10ml and each time I was expressing for about 20 mins so I don't understand why it lessened!
Am cross about giving formula but now ds2 is fast asleep and content - I suppose I should try and sleep too and hope I feel more positive in the morning... Thanks red x

My hair growth stopped too and I definitely have a little boy. Sorry to disappoint you. I have 3 boys though who are amazing and so different that I don't feel incomplete or that I'm missing out in any way.

fatas, have you tried different holds? Ds3 bites down quite hard so I change the positions from cradle hold to rugby hold to ease some of the discomfort. He is 2 weeks now and the pain is easing off so if you can hold out that long it may get easier. It must be hard though with c-section healing on top of breast discomfort.

The cluster feeding is paying off. He lost 3oz in his first week but put on 13oz in his second! He's now 8lb 2oz! The HV was quite shocked. What a fatty. She did say though that he sounds like he has reflux so she's going to check back on us for another week.

Ah yes, the horror of those early bf days! I'm quite glad that formula seemed like a difficult option for me (I hadn't bought any, didn't know how to make it, didn't know what it was made of so a bit para about what was in it) so I stuck with bf despite the agony of nipple pain, blood blisters and cluster feeding at first! For us, it just suddenly changed around 2/3 weeks in, no more pain and good supply, I know that isn't the same for everyone and I don't think there's anything wrong with switching to formula if it isn't working out but I'm going to try and keep at it next time until we reach that turning point again! Hope it gets better soon fatas.

So my little monkey slept 10 whole hours the night before last (felt like a new woman!) and 7 whole hours just now I know it might all go to crap again soon especially when regressions/teething comes along, but what are the chances this sleeping well could continue - we're 10 weeks in? We still have tears but her colic/reflux etc seems so much better than the early days and I enjoy it all much more generally now

thingy what is his reflux like?

One thing we do still struggle with is her sleeping during the day on her own. She's more than happy to fall asleep out and about in her pram, but the other day is a classic example of us struggling - we were at the in laws house and it was meal time. She wouldn't settle on her own without crying. So DH said he would try and get her to sleep while we go and start eating. I got MASSIVE disapproval for this from all the in laws - tut tut, "you need to leave her to cry", "you can't have meals like this, it's ridiculous", "DH's meal is getting cold", "you must get used to her not getting her way" etc etc. I honestly wanted to cry as she's 10 weeks old and I just don't believe in leaving her to wail, I physically can't do it. I also know it's difficult to have meal times at the moment, sometimes we need to eat separately at home! Don't know what the answer is but obviously for now it's too difficult to see them and I can't say that to DH, especially as there is another family meal in the diary, this time in the evening when she cries the most, eek! What would you do? Do you think I'm doing it wrong by "giving in" and letting her be held by us when she's like that?

You must feel so much better after that sleep alex. I can't wait until we get to that stage. From my experience they do occasionally revert back to night time feeds but never to the extent of those early weeks so hopefully she'll stay a good sleeper for you.
I have the same thing with my mum. "You're spoiling him." "You should only feed every 3 hours." (she formula fed) "He'll get used to bring held all the time." etc, etc. Luckily she was around yesterday when the HV gave me bf advice so my mum realises I'm not entirely incompetent now. The thing is that babies are incapable of manipulative thoughts and actions. They cry because they need something so I'd ignore them and listen to your baby. It is annoying but this stage is relatively short really.
I didn't know he had reflux. I just thought he was a restless baby who likes to cluster feed but the HV mentioned that he makes a gurgly, sicky noise which indicates reflux so he might need baby gaviscon from the GP if it doesn't settle. I hate thinking he's in pain so I'm trying to forget about it for now.

Remember when S was doing those marathon crying sessions all night? Well she ticked all the reflux symptoms (gurgling, wheezing, coughing, rigid body, writhing etc). When I took her to the doctors, she was given infant gaviscon. We ended up not taking it as I just didn't like the idea of her being on meds every day at such a young age. Anyway I always wonder if, with so many babies having reflux symptoms, it's sometimes just part of being a baby and needs to be grown out of. Just thinking out loud really and I do appreciate some babies have such bad reflux that they might need meds, but personally I tried to get her by without them. Thank god it seems to be getting better over time.