April 2014 Thread 4 - We're almost in Trimester 3!

[LeeHandy]

Here's to fantastic 20 week scans, feeling baby move and other exciting milestones and best of all, the end of sickness!

blessed sorry to hear you're having issues with bf? I had a nightmare with ds as he was tongue tied - has this been checked for you? I found it unbelievably painful (though I never cracked and bled thankfully) and things didn't really improve until his mouth got bigger at 11wks onwards.

Any pure lanolin cream would do the job - mothercare do their own now I saw. Check out kellymom.com for helpful advice, as well as the bf section on here. Nipple shields might help - also expressing shouldn't be as painful as feeding if you want to give that a go? Hopefully it'll all calm down for you soon.

pretty if you don't want to be induced tonight then you can refuse - they'll tell you about increased infection risk but the official NICE guidelines are 72hrs after SROM I think. Of course if you want it over with then go for it!

Ds has chosen today to fall ill with gunky eyes and a streaming cold - so maybe labour could hold off for a little bit after all! I've been in a foul mood most the day, feeling really restless and out of sorts

39+1

Blessed I am bf my second baby (he is now 4 days old and my milk has just come in. very engorged).

I am also having a hard time. his latch is toe curling, my nipples are cracked and bleeding and he is cluster feeding (every 20-30 minutes throughout the night, so ni chance for the nips to recover). It's like I'm feeding a piranha.

However, he is my second baby and I remember these times with my first who I bf for a year. he never had a drop of formula.

so i know it DOES GET BETTER. believe me. like you, I have nipples like cocktail sausages and his tiny newborn mouth cant get in enough breast to get the nipple safely back to the soft palate, so it gets clamped and chomped by the hard palate. the classic lipstick shape nipple when he unlatches.

as baby's mouth gets bigger he'll be able to latch quickly and painlessly, but it takes time.

this time my baby's latch is better because I make sure he opens his mouth really wide before I put in the nipple, but it still had me wincing each time.

It smarts but this time I know it won't be six months of this. Just a few weeks. bf really is ultra convenient, so worth this grit your teeth stage.

definitely get checked for tongue tie and have an expert watch you latch. They should be able to give you tips.

I never got on with nipple shields but they might work for you.

careful about pumping to let off pressure when engorged. Only pump off a little because you don't want to signal to your breast to make more milk. Don't let the boobs think you have twins!

Dropping in to update you ladies... hope that you are all well?
Was admitted at 11pm and currently sat on the maternity ward waiting to be taken to the delivery suite. I'm already 2-3cm so they are missing out the gel and putting me straight on the drip. Totally terrified but know there is no going back now. Have requested an epidural which they have said I can have but have to wait until I've had a few contractions on the drip first.

38 weeks today (and hopefully baby pretty will make an appearance!)

good luck, pink! hope it is going well!!

Good luck pretty, hopefully you're holding your baby by now.

Had some cramps and tightening last night and stupidly got bit excited. Woke up and still bloody pregnant. I could cry :(

don't despair, misty. That cramping might be purposeful yet. You can dilate a few cm without noticing. You could be at 2cm right now and so once ctx get going for real, you have a head start.

Good luck Pink wishing you a quick and easy delivery..
Misty-i know the feeling. When i hit 40weeks i became obsessed with labour starting such that any little pain felt like winning the lotto. Would get pissed off too when it stopped. Hang on, the baby will soon be home.
The baby was checked by a doctor before we left and his latch is really good. I just feel my Katie Price boobs are the issue.

I have lanolin cream but it is not helping. Expressing is less painful so i am doing that too.
Bad-once you have gone 40 weeks then you start counting down in minutes not days. You have not long to wait..

Pretty you don't have to allow the induction if you are against it. You can wait just like Misty said.

Learn-you described what i am going through word for word. It hurts like hell. Just thinking about feeding my baby makes me cry. I have a muscle on my forehead as a result of shrinking and curling into myself when he latches and Dh had to massage knot after knot on my back and neck. Knots i never had before. The ONLY reason i am doing this is it is so much easier to breastfeed than the whole bottle thing. I did not realise that by expressing till my boobs were empty i was only making it worse. I did not understand why they would ballon soon after expressing. Hoping it will get better soon. Will just take one day at a time..

Pretty, my post to you comes across rude . Meant to say i agree with Misty who has explained it so much better than my rude post

Was it Badfurday who has lovely wide hips suitable for childbirth? Apparently there is truth in that because both my children would not come down and let me push them out. You are the lucky one lady now use those good hips properly and let the baby come!!

Hope you have a baby by now pretty and all is going well! Looking forward to an update.

blessed I remember well the hell of early breastfeeding with the toe curling pain and the cracked and bleeding nipples. Aaagh, not looking forward to doing it again and I think I only carried on last time as I am so stubborn and after feeling like a failure over the birth wanted to do one thing right! But it does get better, and you will be happy you stuck with it in the end but don't be afraid to ask for help. And yes, be careful with over expressing as your boobs will just think they need to make more .

Vikki my DS was a spitter upper too! Does it upset him or not bother him? Is he putting on weight? My DS would just bring it up but be fine and was on the 90th percentile for weight so apart from being annoying it wasn't too much of a worry. If he seems in pain it could be reflux though. My only advice is to not overfeed (just feed on demand, and only one side at a time unless he seems like he really needs more), keep upright for a bit after feeding, don't burp him too vigorously and keep lots of muslins handy for clearing up!

misty your body is just gearing up, it won't be long I'm sure... my DS has also been unwell for the past couple of weeks. I just want us all healthy before I go into labour!

I had my birth centre assessment yesterday which went well apart from my pulse and the baby heart beat being a bit high so they sent me to be monitored for half an hour which was a bit worrying but in the end they just decided it was because the baby was wiggling around so much. Saw the consultant today too and she is all happy with me going ahead with a natural birth in the birth centre. Had a quick scan to check baby's position (fine, not back to back, not anterior but somewhere in between which she said was fine) and she said she doesn't think it will be bigger than DS was (he was 8lb 3) so that is a relief! So now I just need to get a bit organised and we are good to go!

37 weeks today.

Hi all

Please can I rant? So DP and I were supposed to be having a nice 'last supper before we become parents' tonight. I raise the topic of us potentially buying a house in london (DP can afford it and I feel my 2 bed flat is getting small). DP says he wants to put his money into his pension and ISAa (he owns several other properties) and save up for this huge house in the country he wants to buy in the country (which he would own ). I then raise the issue that it feels we are approaching things a bit separately and it bothers me we dont own even a house together. He says he never wants to be in the position again where he can be kicked out of his own home..

This makes me feel we are just not approaching things as a normal family..he doesnt want to get married right now (having come through a very bitter divorce where his ex wife walked away with a lot) and i have understood this to date and that it takes time for the bitterness to fade..but it does make me feel a bit insecure...he saves up for this huge house, owns other properties, puts huge amounts in pension away while I own (with a big mortgage) the 2 bed flat we live in.

He says 'what's the problem...we love each other and as long as we are together will have no problems' but when I say that makes me feel exposed...what if he falls out of love with me? He said tonight my asking about this makes him feel I am avaricious...he gave a theoretical example of what would happen to him with me going off with his hard earned wealth after having an affair with a tennis coach?!! The thing is his view just doesnt factor in where i'd be left if HE ran off with the tennis coach!

He views the fact that I am asking for some kind of security as being a gold digger...when all i want is to be married (am willing to sign whatever prenup) or at the least to have some assets owned jointly like other couples do. Not asking for half at all...just a sign..He doesnt even have any bills with my address on in his name. And he says well we haven't even got through the tricky first year of a baby..i feel like i am still being auditioned despite the fact i have given him and his children all my love for two years and we have had nothing but happiness..? It doesnt make me feel great.

I trust him and love him and we otherwise have a great relationship but I feel he has been pretty horrible tonight accusing me of wanting to get 'my claws' into his wealth and not understanding my need for some sign of security...meanwhile I was 9 months pregnant at a restaurant table about to cry....i dont think I am being unreasonable wanting a sign of commitment for our future family...it also bothers me more than i thought it would that at every hospital appointment and restaurant they call me 'mrs' when I am not.

I know the answer is i should have thought about all of this before i got pregnant..i did but i didnt realise his views were still so poisoned about marriage etc this far along..i thought he'd treat me as his wife in every other way but the piece of paper...

He's getting the train home..i took a cab and i walked into our LO's nursery and just felt so sad..

Am i just being pregnant and emotional and unreasonable? I just dont think what i am asking for (marriage or to approach our financial future in some kind of shared way ) is so unreasonable?
Wendle

Ps he's been so supportive in every other way about the baby and our relationship is great. (Till now). He just doesnt want to get married/ give me any kind of financial security though he is supporting us during my maternity leave...

your not being unreasonable imo my oh is similar with the marriage thing but ive made it very clear I refuse to be a miss my whole life. He sounds like my oh who doesn't get it means a lot to have a public acknowledgement of your life together. If you figure out how to do it let me know

Wendle wish I had some advice for you. Hope he grasps the importance of it soon and how important it can be for a family unit. Will baby have your or his last name?

37 weeks now so come on baby no more hanging around!!! I'm ready but no real symptoms apart from the plug coming away gradually over last couple weeks and some cramps the last few nights

Reporting in from the post-natal ward ladies... our daughter Emilia Grace was born at 12:08 yesterday after being induced by drip at 5am. We are both doing well and trying to get the hang of breast feeding, which is so much harder than I thought!

Hope that you are all well? Who's next?

Forgot to say she was 6lb 5oz

wendle I'm feeling emotional and irritable at 39 weeks, so that may certainly be playing a part in how you're feeling, BUT I don't think your wishes are unreasonable either. You say you both live in a place you own? I'm assuming he pays half mortgage etc? (When you're not on mat leave) if he's that worried about a repeat of his divorce re property, there are many ways to safeguard against that when getting a joint mortgage. Maybe you could ask for a timeline instead? After all, you are having a child together so some other long term goals aren't unexpected surely?

I had something similar in that dh was quite anti marriage after a horrible divorce (she left him); it took relationship counselling to help him face fears about marriage and children. We're now married and second baby due any day but you're right; I feel vulnerable enough with not earning any money and I do have the security of jointly owned home etc.
hope you get things sorted.

pretty congrats! Gorgeous name too is it still allowed to be on our shortlist?!

I'm afraid I'm very close to having a serious strop about still being pregnant! My edd is early April but it feels like everyone's had their baby! I shouldn't be surprised after going post dates with ds, but I've had enough and want to get this over with now so I can start the post labour feeling crap recovery I can't walk far, have horrid heartburn, pee every five minutes, constantly hungry (but food gives me heartburn), sleeping (ha!) is agony with SPD, and I'm emotional and grumpy can you tell?
Rant over. For now...

39+3

Congratulations pink
Did you have a normal delivery?
6lb 4oz is a lovely weight too.
My babies have all been 8lbs+ so far and they don't seem to stay little for long.
Make sure you get as much help as you can with your feeding while your in hospital and staff are on hand x

Congrats Pretty! Lovely name! Enjoy those cuddles!

pretty gratulerer. Welcome to our crazy world EG. Hope you are both doing well but please please do NOT leave the hospital without getting breastfeeding advice and help. All the best with this challenging task.

wendle you are not demanding or asking for too much in wanting a marriage. Did you discuss it beforehand? Seeing that you are becoming a family i totally get your feelings wrt security. It would be lovely of course to joint own property so you feel that you are a unit. Does he pay mortgage on your place seeing that he lives there. Everybody has expectations when they get into a relationship and therefore are your feelings valid. I am sorry i have no advice other than to say concentrate on one thing right now, and that is your baby on the way. Then when babybis born discuss it with him maybe the sight of your adorable baby will "cure" his fears away. Good luck.

congratulations pretty!! emilia is a lovely name! please also get the details of breastfeeding support groups in your area so you can get more help if you need it.
wendle, you are not being unreasonable! it sounds like your oh is being overly defensive after his marriage. this is something you need to discuss but probably not at this stage when you are so pregnant. I know I can't have a rational conversation with my dh without crying at the moment and it was worse when I was still pregnant because I was also in physical discomfort.
I can't tell you what to do with the situation, but I think you should deal with it when you are better able to cope in the future. your baby needs you to be healthy and happy and that needs to be your goals as well. Take care!!

after 3 days of sleeping beautifully in his cot, ds regressed and cried all night. I am so woolly headed right now...

Congrats pretty! Fab name hope you are doing well.

I'm fed up, my lovely friend from work just text to say her little boy arrived this morning ( he was due tomorrow) and I'm so happy for her, but feeling a bit sorry for myself now
40+1

Am off shopping with husband later so hope that will cheer me up.

Lee, how is the breastfeeding going?
Pretty, I just realised i congratulated you in Norwegian, so congratulations in a language your own

badfur, activity may be just the thing to jog babybadfur along.
blessed, the feeding is going alright now. babylee is still picky about how he latches on and takes himself off and on whenever he feels like it. As long as it doesn't hurt me to feed him, I am happy to let him do it.
I am sore when I am not feeding but during feeding it's painless after the first ten seconds, which is fine by me.
have you figured out a solution for yours?

That is great news Lee. I would never wish what I am going through on my worst enermy. The only comfortable way is if i breast feed lying down. It's helping a tiny bit and i am still waiting for the midwife to call so I can see if they can help me. I have become so resigned to the pain because I have come this far and don't want to quit. Result is now pounding headaches each and every time baby latches on and I thought it wouldn't get any worse. How wrong i was. Bought some lano cream too so hoping for a change.