pearls
I'm really unhappy about my weight.
My starting weight is the same as what I was at 9 months+ with my two youngest.
after DS5 I lost 2 stones in preparation for next pg and I put it back on with DD, which was all fine - but as DH took ages to decide if are going for it (and was leaning towards no for a ling time) I didn't bother to try and loose weight again.
I'm kicking myself for "waiting for him", but I was in a bad place emotionally so I was comfort eating.
he eventually changed his mind to TTC, but we had so many arguments by then that I was doubting if getting pg again is even a good idea.
we agreed to try for 3 cycles on a "it's meant to be it will happen" - basis and it coinceded with kids going back to school do there was no way I could concentrate on myself and dieting...
don't get me wrong, I'm happy about this baby, but I'm incredibly unhappy about circumstances, stressing about my weight and I blame him for wasting precious time that I could have spent loosing weight before TTC.
I'm probably being unreasonable, but I don't feel prepared, I hate my weight, I'm angry with DH and I feel really sad.
and that's not how I'd want to be right now, so that makes me feel even worse.
I don't know how to get rid of those bad feelings.
unless I either start dieting or start being sick so I can loose some weight before ballooning again.
I'm so unhappy right now I can't stop crying