October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

clapham DH sleeps downstairs now and I can hear him in our bedroom upstairs. I worry about what will happen when he joins us upstairs and I can't wear earplugs. He's worried about me and baby waking him up and he still wears his earplugs even when sleeping by himself downstairs.

We had an awful morning. All was going well until J slept about 3 and a half hours and woke up at 4:30. Then he fed for a long time from both beasts would not sleep. Normally he falls asleep in the breast but he remained alert and kept rooting. It was weird because he wouldn't latch on and wouldn't fall asleep, but at the same time wasn't too distressed and didn't cry. He still hasn't slept properly. It's very annoying because I am absolutely exhausted. I fell asleep a few times but I feel awful sleeping when he's rooting and making noises. We had workmen coming at 8:30 so I dragged myself out of bed and now they aren't coming till 11 so I could have stayed in bed.

I'll catch up with the thread this afternoon I hope. But for now, Caoimhe is having her first tube ride - we are off to the hospital for her jaundice appointment

Sorry about the helpful, snoring dps ladies.

I told my dh last week that I wouldn't be doing competitive tiredness with him!! I said we re both tired and that's it. He sleeps in the spare room during the week as he's working. I do go to bed around 9 when I can and he ll bring dd to me when she wakes up. Maybe those that want to do night feeds could do something like that? The snoring is more difficult and they have to sort it themselves.

for clapham roofio and ana xx

for the rest of us that need it. And someone else to make it :)

Sympathy all round this morning x
clapham my DH was like that about a week after the birth too I reminded him that he had just witnessed me go through labour and could he not understand that my body was still healing and I was still exhausted. I think my language was a bit more exaggerated but it just reminded him helped a little bit.

We also have the problem here that DH will offer to help but be bored of trying to settle her after 10 minutes and get very frustrated and assume she needs feeding, so I end up doing it anyway. Saying that Ive got an awful sore throat and have lost my voice, had a very minor breakdown at half 4 after feeding and he had her for her whole fussy time, so will no doubt be exhausted but so far have had no competitive tiredness comments.

sephy we only started using the sling yesterday so no long term advice but Isla slept in her crib all night last night. I did transfer her from the sling into het carry cot downstairs when she was in a deep sleep yesterday though.

Health visitor coming today to weigh Isla again. green poos last week due to reflux have stopped so hopefully will have a good weight gain. Then a day at home with baby and a two yr old and only a whisper of a voice... could be interesting.

flyer am glad the gaviscon is working for A

MrsH wanted to say re:reflux. my HV was most concerned that the projectile vomit wasnt just straight after a feed and that she was vomiting parially digested (lumpy) milk so made us get a drs appt. hope C less sicky today. x

cross posted but hope you get some time to nap ana

and hope appt goes well pseudo x

To all the ladies with walrus sounding dh's and dp's I will also join the club. DP and I are in separate rooms. Although last night we slept together he snored like a pig.

He is however very good. He takes her a lot and will happily walk around with her for hours when she's screaming from reflux. Clapham we've had the "I'm so tired" line after he's had 6/7 hrs kip and I'm surviving on 3 hrs tops. I'm a pacifist but at that point I actually wanted to head butt dp

Roofio I also have a man who is obsessed with things.

We ended up at the walk in centre last night with A after a major vomiting episode after giving her ranitidine. NHS direct advised we go just in case, she is really suffering with this reflux it's quite heart wrenching to here her distressed cries, I can hear the acid coming up in her throat also I wish I could take the pain for her....

Pink for little Isla and her reflux too. What age does it finally stop?! It's stressing me out so much that I've decided to go onto medication I'm in edge 24/7 in case of projectile vomiting episodes. I've never had so much anxiety in all my life it's starting to become unhealthy.

How often is Isla sick pink?? When A is sick it's loads. Last night was all over the kitchen floor it worries me terribly. First bit was curdled the rest was undigested milk. I don't know what's normal and what's not.

orange I'd like to say I'm quite jealous of your little one sleeping all night but I imagine being unable to put them down in the day is just as bad. Do you use a sling to be able to get on with things?

Clapham sorry to hear your little one doesn't want to go down at night either. Last night dh fell asleep on the sofa and I must admit I felt much better co sleeping with dd without him here - I know I won't roll on her but he is quite a heavy sleeper so I wouldn't worry too much about having full night responsibility, it might be easier.

Better night last night. Dd started cluster feeding earlier, about half 8 and managed to get her to sleep not long after 1 (in the bed though, gave up on basket early last night). She then woke every 2 or 2 and a half hours for a feed - am so happy this morning. Am hoping if she settles into a better routine like this we can then work on transferring her into basket crosses fingers

Sorry to hear A's reflux is so bad Flyer. DS has terrible reflux (that's why we have about 50 muslins!) and copious sick is quite normal unfortunately. He was sick often and in large volume. He's ok now though! So this really will pass, but I know it's horrid for them and you until it does xx

*DS had

Hi ladies, I have been keeping up with the posts, just not been very good about posting..

I just wanted to say for those with vomiting babies that it might be worth considering cows milk protein intolerance. If you are bf then it could be worth cutting out dairy completely from your diet to see of it makes a difference - it worked with both my dd's. It does take about a week and a half for the protein to leave your system so you need to allow 2-3 weeks to see if it makes any difference to the vomiting. Also means you need to take calcium supplements for yourself...

The other thing I wanted to rave about is white noise! Specifically cosmic white noise on you tube :-) it means I can put A down in her pram in the day and she will sleep 2-3 hours instead of 30 mins and when I want her to wake up I just switch the white noise off!

Hugs to all xxx

Sounds pretty much like our routine excited. fergus will happily sleep in the cot all day but not at night, so we have him in with us where he sleeps pretty well.

Thanks Pseudo for the reassurance that it will pass. I need to hear positive stories at the moment.

Taking I'm going to cut dairy out also cut down on caffeine as I hear this can enhance reflux. I hate decaf tea but anything is worth a try.
Could I drink rice milk or Oat milk? I can't stand the taste of soya milk.

Good Luck pseudo and caiomhe xxx

So sorry flyer that baby A is suffering so much ( and anyone else with a refluxy baby )

It's something I have no experience of. dd1 had colic for a little while, but none of the others have had a problem.

Lucinda, has a spell of sleep where she will lay down from around half 10 for an hour or so, else she wants picking up all day long. I am lucky that dh is home for lunch from half 1 til 3. then when we have returned form the school run dd1 can't wait to get her hands on her!

we have cluster feeds from about 6pm which can be tricky, but the other lo's are getting used to me being stuck to a chair now!

she goes in her crib from when we go to bed (I feed her (again) and then lay her down) and stays there until she wakes again - (last night she did half 10 until 3am!!!) but then stays in our bed after that, but as dh gets up at about 4.15 am it's pretty much just me and her, and occasionally dd2.

Clapham - my DH is being annoying too... He's away al lot at the ok but critical when he's around... Like tis morning said I was too shouty and stressed when getting everyone out for the school run, even though he wasn't hrl

Oh god... I hate doing that.

Even though he hadn't helped at all... I was being too shouty and stressy.... But him saying it didn't help!!!!!

Just read that back... My tiredness shows!!

Sephy - I find the opposite with the sling. More daytime contact seems to promote good night time sleep....

It seems many of us are having the same problems at the moment. I have woken up this morning in an irrationally bad mood.

DH and I are also in separate rooms (we did with DD1 also), as he gets so grumpy without sleep and I can't be dealing with that and to children. As I am bf there is very little he can do anyway.

My sister is coming to visit at the end of the month. Originally it was just going to be her and her youngest, but now her husband has decided to come as well, with their oldest. DH is getting stressy about it, and the prospect of having to give up his bedroom. Am tempted just to take he baby to a hotel and let them all get on with it.

Flyer, I agree soya milk leaves a funny feeling on my tongue, though there is variety in the different brands and whether you buy sweetened or not. rice milk is thinner and sweeter. I prefer the milder taste to oat and soya milk. It's what I have in cereal (rice dream+calcium is the nicest I've found). You can have it in tea but it doesn't go the same colour as with real milk, kind of grey... I just have mine black.There are also nut milks which I use for baking sometimes but again they have stronger tastes so not as good for general everyday use.

I've also heard that more close contact during the day promotes less crying/more settled baby overall.

I totally am there with the competitive tiredness. I explained to DP last night that when either of us says 'I'm exhausted', the reply should be 'I know, poor you' or a sympathetic 'me too', NOT a defensive 'well, I'VE been working really hard all day'.

He also doesn't seem to understand that we both work long days... But then I have to get up in the middle of the night. Oh and he's v guilty of picking up baby for a cuddle, baby starts wailing, DP beats a quick retreat to work/check emails, leaving me with a hospital pass... Lucky I love him, hey?

Can't remember if someone asked about swaddling or whether I imagined it.. Basically baby hates his merino kids swaddle, always manages to get his arms AND FEET (?!) out of it (takes him about 30 min of wakeful efforty grunts to free his limbs, then he whacks himself with his arms or grabs his hair and cries the place down). He is v v content in the Aden and anais swaddle, it isn't stretchy so keeps him more constrained.

Need to rant

Dp's parents are here, they are lovely but feel they are looking down on my parenting skills. Just telling them about the reflux and medication etc, her response "what are the side effects of medication? She's a baby and all babies cry it's just one of those things" I said which outfit I wanted to put her in today and she said "oh I like this baby grow and had lets put her in that" she just wants to constantly hold her and is a bit preachy about what to do etc!!

I got the 'he's a baby, babies cry you know' with refluxy ds - yes I know babies ducking cry I'm not a moron. I think unless you have a baby with bad reflux then you have no idea how hard it is. How long are they with you? Try to nod and smile and then tell do to get them to reign it in.

Oh and flyer, it does pass. My ds was, quite frankly a miserable sod until he was 6 months, and once he was on solids and could crawl he had a personality transplant and became a happy, outgoing and adorable baby. And started sleeping!

flyer I don't really like the alternative milks so I just avoid altogether. So I have toast or a honey sandwich for breakfast instead of cereal and I have hot vimto instead of tea or coffee! I now have an addiction to bourbon creams as my dairy free chocolate fix, or frys chocolate cream is also allowed. Instead of butter, use 'pure' sunflower spread, it's actually nice (not the soya one though). The good thing is it is actually healthy to cut out dairy and I lost loads of weight on it! Just make sure you take calcium- I am using the pregnacare breast feeding ones at the mo, but any will do.

I hadn't heard about the caffeine link to reflux, but I have automatically cut that out as I have stopped tea and coffee because I don't like them without milk. I do have the odd can of coke but only a couple of times a week.

I hope it works for you- I did a trial every few months with dd1 reintroducing dairy and the symptoms came straight back so it was an obvious link. Until the day she turned 2yo and she just grew out of it and is now not allergic to any foods.

Xx

Have read nothing since Monday but just wanted to let you know Imogen was born yesterday at 2am weighing 7lb 15oz. She is so perfect. Labour & delivery went really well. Monday's sweep Did bigger all & went on for induction Tuesday afternoon. Only needed the pessary thing for about 3 hours then my body got on with so thankfully no drip. Gas & air & a shot of pethedine saw me through. 2nd degree tear so fairly sore but otherwise we're both doing great. Home last night.