October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

Thanks seph and legally, I do feel a bit better now and am trying to be philosophical about it.

Great advice on infant savings accounts, thanks!

mrshn, MnipJnr also has tremors... Great to hear they are normal.

My belly button is like a crater. Can't see it recovering ever! Also, despite not having a huge belly (still look about 4 months gone though) I still have an overhang. I console myself by feeling my belly when I 'm lying horizontal - it feels like I have a very flat tummy and no overhang!

My stomach looks like a deflated balloon , with a (significant) bit of fat still rattling about inside!
Re nails, I was told just to peel them off to avoid any accidents.
My lo seems to be getting his latch all wrong on my left boob after 3 weeks of doing it right. Not sure if he's being lazy, using the end of my nipple for comfort or it's my positioning but it's really sore and I know it shouldn't be!

Just wanted to say re:cutting nails, I bite then off ds x

DH slept in a separate room last night as he had to leave very early this morning, and he won't be back until tomorrow night. A had a fussy night until 3.30am last night and I am dreading the same again tonight. It's been a stressful day (A being particularly velcro) and I am sat here in tears now stressing that she's going to keep me awake for the next 5 hours feeding crying and weeing. legally how on earth you cope with twins and a young child when your DH is away (or even when he isn't for that matter) is beyond me. You are a true supermum!

Who out there is SFW then?

flyer I found the nail clippers terrifying, so went and bought baby nail scissors which worked well - waited till after a feed and did it when she was in 'milk coma' so she didn't notice. Maybe that'd be easier?

Thanks for all the sympathy re. PIL - only another 28 hours to go (until July)!

Slightly upset that now my belly's gone down I've discovered small stretch marks which I'd been in blissful ignorance of previously. At least the c-section overhang seems to be going down with it! My belly button is also still huge.

Several projectile vomiting incidents here in last 24 hours needing full bedding/ clothes changes and emergency bath to get vomit out of hair/ ears. She even managed to get vomit on her nappy (despite being fully clothed) which I find impressive! But she seems happy despite the vomiting and is having lots of wet and dirty nappies which is the main thing.

Hi all,

I posted in breast feeding the other night and someone suggested popping over here to meet others in the same situation.

My dd was born last Monday, 1st dc and although she is an angel all day she feeds constantly at night. In the day she often sleeps for upto 3 hours at a time, feeds, falls asleep at the breast and i put her back in her Moses basket where she happily sleeps and repeats. By early evening feeding ramps up a bit and then generally for about 6 hours at night she feeds constantly, as in, I take her off the breast, lay her in basket and she starts crying so feed again...

Why won't she settle in the Moses at night when she is fine with it in the day? By about 3/4am I give up trying and leave her in bed with us where she then happily sleeps but that's not really something I feel comfortable with. I don't think she has slept in the basket once yet at night.

Please tell me this isn't unusual?!!! Any tips?!!

excited85 welcome and congratulations! The only time that I have been able to get my DD to sleep in her cot is during the day (but even then the most she'll spend in it is 1 hour before she wakes and is screaming the place down). By night she is in bed with us, which I hate too, but it is something that I have given up and accepted in order to get some sleep myself. I've got one of those NCT bednests, so she would be really close if I could get her to go in it! Regardless though she will still feed/cry like you say from 9pm until the early hours (usually about 2am).

That doesn't help you I know, but I thought it might help to know you're not alone!

If it's any use to you I have tried all of the techniques suggest by the midwife (which may work for you) including putting my top in the cot so it smells of me, swaddling, using a special bolder mattress thing which supports DD on both sides so it feels like she is supported, putting her in there half awake, white noise, warming the mattress before she goes in there... Nothing works for us! Good luck, I hope this helps a bit!

Ahh roxvox I'm glad to hear that, though sorry you're having the same!! I might just start letting her sleep in bed from the off and see if at least that settles her down to regular feeds rather than the 5:6 hour stints before working on transferring her back into the basket. How old is your little one?

Haven't been on this thread for so long! Just wanted to wish all of you in the 4th trimester and still waiting good luck. We haven't forgotten about you xx

Ooh three of my good friends are all having babies in May. August was clearly a fun month! So excited that others will soon be in the same position as us as we can do family things with our friends.

Just set up Thomas' new bed nest. Hopefully he likes it. Excited85 we have the opposite problem - he usually goes in at night but refuses to be put down in the day.

Hi girls! I'm still here! And yes, shire, watching Michel Roux and Professional Masterchef!

Sorry I've gone a bit quiet recently but with constant feeding (my coccyx is still bruised so i can only feed lying on my side and can't really type in this position) and also trying to give extra attention and quality 1:1 time to my DS1, days simply disappear... I will catch up on everything soon though!

Apart from my bruised coccyx and terrible postpartum constipation (sorry TMI but I actually cried from pain on the loo the other day), everything is going really well here. Little Conrad is an easy baby so far, cries only when he needs something and BFing is going really well. I'm not counting my chickens yet though as DS1 was exactly the same in the first month and then cried constantly the entire second month... but so far so good. Fingers crossed! The only problem we have is... he won't sleep in his cot in the night. So same here! He often ends up in our bed which really scares me so I'm hoping it's just a stage. He also feeds constantly and my nipples are still very sore at the beginning of each feed. Again, nothing unusual here!

My biggest problem, however, is my DP's snoring... not the baby. Now that I can't wear ear plugs anymore, it's become a massive problem and I'm getting next to no sleep... how is everyone with snoring partners coping? I think I will end up kicking him out to the spare room for the next few months at least but I hate the idea of being always on my own with the baby in the night... I can't go on like this for much longer though. I started crying in the middle of the night last night as he wouldn't stop snoring and I was so exhausted and couldn't sleep because of him. I know he feels rotten about it and is helping as much as he can so I can't give him hard time really...

Have we heard back from dontworry? I expect she must have had her baby by now... was she the last one?

legally I echo what everyone said, you are amazing...

flyer DS1 lived in babygros for 6 months and I'm not planning to buy any proper clothes for DS2 for the first months. I find babygros the easiest and warmest option especially in the winter. No trousers falling down, no tops going up, no lost socks etc...

sorry if I'm missing lots... need to catch up properly on everyone's news! xx

PS. orange and flyer I bite DS's fingernails. I know a lot of people do with newborns. Easiest and safest.

Today was alot better. All three of us managed baths, good food and clean clothes on for bed

I forget who asked, but yes I'm aloud put now. But still haven't got double buggy.
I went out with lo, and dh looked after ds1. Bought the boys matching Xmas day outfits.

Toe nail liking like its growing into skin. Ds1 has this. Showed it to MW who told me to keep n eye on it, if it seemed sore show to gp. Nail grew out and is now fine.

I think also they recommend against biting nails now die to injection risk. You get better at cutting nails quickly.
It's when they turn one they become a nightmare.
Ds1 was so good at having his nails cut. Would sit on my knee watching me, completely fascinated. Now it's me cutting nails, as dh plays fav song on phone, and does extream baby distraction techniques.

excited my LO will be 5 weeks old on Friday. I'm not sure when she'll grow out of needing me holding her all of the time, but I would love to be able to put her in her cot by night!

clapham when my DH snores I give him a kick and ask him to change position (ie if on back then get him to lie on his side). It usually works!

Ugh. Little b has now been awake for over an hour and won't go back to sleep. DH not helping by rolling over extravagantly humphing about the bed. I've told him to go to the spare room but he says he doesn't want to leave me . He is not helping at all anyway!!! And now I'm just cross with him!
Does everyone's babies feed to sleep at night? This one doesn't seem to be able to do that......fine in the day but very annoying at night!

My DH like to humph as well (he doesn't actually get up to help though!).

I recommend special round-ended baby nail scissors. Use when baby is so asleep that their arms are limp.

excited we had the same problem, I could feel the drop in temp and sense the distance when I put N in the Moses basket. We tested sleeping with him in the bed and dh in a diff room but that wasn't a long term solution but a bed nest really helped. We were super lucky and got given a second hand bed nest which I love. It's less of a change of temp and I can easily see and touch my baby. It is not the nct one but a similar small three sided cot. If you are considering it might be woth trying to bed share first if you can go do it as safely as poss,. If LO likes that a bed nest might help

I use / do exactly what Mnippy says for nails!

Waves to. Clapham.

Registering Thomas' birth this morning

He did his first MASSIVE sick last night covering pretty much the entirety of DH's front, although managing to avoid much on himself somehow. Didn't seem at all fussed but DH was!

We used the bed best last night and he seemed to like it - quite a good night. We didn't use the side down though as were too tired to short out the strap last night.

Legally, or others who use slings during the day, does it make it harder for the LO to sleep in a cot at night if they're used to being in contact with you while they sleep? I don't want to co sleep but like the idea of a sling during the day - but I'm not sure if that's compatible.

OK, so here we go... I said a few days earlier that DP was being amazing... adding a disclaimer that these things are tested over time. And they are indeed. He was snoring so badly last night (rox even changing positions didn't help) that at 3am I sent him to the spare room. I can cope with the baby waking me up for feeds but need to get at least a couple of hours sleep each night... he went and just came down after nice 5 hours of interrupted sleep (8am) all grumpy with me (??) saying how shuttered he is... well so am I... I didn't get any sleep the night after my 18 hours labour last week as the baby was puking mucus all night, and the last 3 nights I got no sleep between his snoring and the baby feeding... just had a little cry feeding the baby in bed and feel really upset with him.

hi everyone. hope all are well.
H has generally been really good at sleeping in his moses basket so this might be really unhelpful to those who aren't but I have found he goes down in it much better since putting him in his baby sleeping bag. he's all warm and cosied up with me and then doesn't notice the temp change so much when I put him down as he stays warm in the bag!! maybe worth a try?
my dp is helpful in the night but it's stressing me out. he works 3 long days so for those nights he sleeps in spare room and I do the nights alone. I then get him back the other 4 nights. he'll get up and help with night feeds etc so I shouldn't complain its just that he makes it worse. It sounds awful but I spend more time with ds and we have our way of doing things and he just won't settle for dp. he's had a bad few nights anyway but last night he didn't go to sleep till 1, woke at 3 and then didn't go back to sleep till nearly 5. all the while dp is getting fed up and annoyed but insisting on doing it all and I'm wide awake anyway. eventually I got him to hand him over to me and he was asleep in 5 mins. that might have been coincidence but I think he feels more soothed by me. dp will then be going on today about how tired he is and how hard it is, I know I do it 24/7!!! sorry for the rant he's just been a bit crap the last few days. he has loadsnof hobbies he gets really obsessed by and after buying some new kit for one of them he's hardly been interested in ds all week and so its always me to see to him!!!........and rant over. Thanks for letting me get that out ladies....phew

sounds like we are in a similar mood today roofio... DP spent 4 hours yesterday arranging our photos on his laptop but still hasn't fixed the leak upstairs or touch the mountain of ironing in the lounge (most of it his shirts...) not sure today will be a good day...

and about him being "shuttered" and grumpy earlier - he doesn't realise we actually have an easy baby and no problems with feeding, sleeping, winding, puking etc... I wondered how "shuttered" he would be if things were more difficult...

sephy I use the sling a bit during the day, sometimes when we go out, and late afternoons when emilia is fussy ans I need to put the house back together. It hasn't affected hee going I'm Moses basket at all at night

Sorry to hear your upset Clapham - I had the exact same snoring problem with do last time when ds was a baby, and we ended up in seperate rooms for 4 months . I don't have any advice, just sympathy. If its that bad has he seen a doctor? Spa snoring is better since he lost some weight, and also he hasn't been drinking much. Also I think they all have a good start, being ohelpful and supportive, then the novelty wears off and competitive tiredness starts, stupid men.

roofio I know what you mean. Dp has been on at me to express so he can do night feeds. I have declined on the basis of not having time to express, but really I just want to do it myself, rather than sitting there expressing in the middle of the.night watching do over stimulate her, and then ending up having to settle her anyway.