June 2014 Bus for those with RMC issues

[NorahVanstone]

Hello everyone, welcome to our new hopeful but slightly paranoid bus!

NorahVanstone edd 6th June, 4 previous MC

Hi Pen yes I'm having my scan tomorrow and I'm going to be 7+2. I'm petrified but I can't talk to DH about it as he gets rather irate with me for not being positive. Let's hope that the beanie has grown as there was a question regarding my dates 2 weeks ago.... And my dates are absolutely spot on as I've been TTC for 13 months and was charting and OPK.

Thank you, everyone. Bleeding still, more so each time I dare to look. Scan at 8 tomorrow morning so hopefully we will know what the next step is then. I've been reading about all the options to miscarry and they all seem absolutely horrendous and impractical with a 2 year old to look after (we have no close family) but at least I've been reasonably unemotional (apart from a quick cry last night on OH's shoulder after which we watched Superbad which helped!).

Hugs to all the others in my situation or fearing the worst. We are strong xxx

Welcome Kat.

Tanny, don't you dare stop posting! We are all in this together and need the support if each other, especially if we haven't told people in RL.

How is everyone else getting on? I'm on the phone and it's hard reading the previous pages and making comments at the same time.

Oh Tigs, hang in there. Last time I opted for a natural miscarriage.... Had horrendous pain though :(

Cross-posted with London - my OH is exactly the same, we had a row earlier as he wanted me to go to A&E in case this bleeding is due to some other internal bleed! I told him that optimism is good but refusing to accept the facts displayed by my body was really not helpful.

He's shut up now. X

London, that is helpful, thank you. I'm very scared! All info/experiences very welcome if anyone else can share - my previous history is always much later in pregnancy so I've had to give birth.

I shall be thinking of you tomorrow, scan-buddy!

Warning - may be TMI...

tigs I've had medical management twice and it wasn't that bad (all things considered). I was given some initial tablets at the EPU a few days before, then went back for more tablets and to wait for things to pass. I had to stay in for the whole day until the key bits had gone. Took paracetamol & codeine for pain which was bad after I went home too but better the next day.
Bleeding afterwards was the same as with any other option. I have also mc naturally as it happened before I was due back at hospital. I have never had an ERPC. I was told they didn't like to do them so early.

Whatever happens, you will be ok and come out the other side. I found it helpful to tell some friends / family what was going on too as if they don't know they can't support you through it.

'giving birth' would be way more scary / traumatic I expect.

Good luck & stay strong!

I had an ERPC and that is what I will be opting for again...

last time I went to the EPU at 7am, the went to theatre at 8am (I think) and was awake from GA by 9h30ish... then spent the day recovering, lying down there and reading... my husband picked me up aroud 3pm. then the following day I worked from home and then back to normal...

this would mean I could go by myself to the EPU while my husband takes our daughter to the nursery as usual, then he would probably also have to pick her up that day, but back to normal, I think...

On the other hand, a natural miscarriage was horrible, going through pad after pad and seeing the clots and stuff... i hated it. especially as i was on holiday at the MIL at the time and we didn't tell them anything of what was happening.

So in terms of options, personally, an ERPC is my choice.

in terms of the future, we might give it another year or a year and a half and if it doesn't happen we will stop trying.

Also I said if I have one more mc, then I want to stop trying for my own mental sanity and just enjoy our daughter

and PJen, still a wee bit of nausea but the boobs aren;t as sensitive on breastfeeding anymore... i really have no hope

My heart goes to all of us in this hurrondeous situation!!

London and Tigs good luck for scans tomorrow. I will be thinking of you and check here to see your news.

Hope that this thread sees some good news :)

Tiny I am crossing my fingers for you as well. In an eternal optimist. Specially knowing how crappy some of the ultrasound equipments are in detecting sizes of early pregnancies.

Thank you all. You made me cry.

I just didn't want to frighten off people who are doing ok.

I'm off to EPU in the morning. I'm trying to be brave as I have to go on my own, DH will have to look after DS2.

Will let you know the result, I promise x

Carrot and Tiny, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Makes it seem a little less scary which is most helpful!
Thanks pjen, good luck to you and tanny, and of course London and Tiny too. I am sorry if I've sort of lowered the tone on here in terms of talking about the end of things that no one wants to think about when pregnant and with a colourful history, I've really not intended to upset anyone and I am so sorry if I have. But you ladies are my only source of support and decent information (I don't trust the rest of the Internet!) and I really appreciate the help I have had here, and all the good wishes. Thank you.

Well that's it for us, scan showed baby had died and so I've just had the tablets inserted and now waiting to pass it.

I hope you other lovely ladies have had better news.

Lots of love xx

So sorry tigs
Hope you get closure and move on quickly.

Although in my mind it's over, the EPU is keeping me in limbo till Friday...

x

So sorry it was bad news tig i hope it is over quickly for you.

having a nightmare here trying to get a hospital appointment. Apparently i cant have one for another four weeks. I cant wait that long i will be over nine weeks then if still pregnant.

was hoping to see the magic 3 on the Clearblue thus morning as should be 5+2 but still says 2-3. I hate those evil tests but am still compelled to do them. Wish i knew what was going on. Going to attempt to get referred to epu if i cant get my appointment brought forward.

Tigs I am so sorry. I hope that it'll beover for yur quickly so that you can recover and move on - not easy though. It took me 6 months to get my head around the miscarriage and to even think about TTC agaqin.

Kat which hospital appt are you referring to? I got my 3+ on cleablue when I was 5+5... maybe you are testing too early for it? Or even better, ditch the tests!

As for me, I'm off soon to have my scan. I hope that the beanie has grown and hanging in there.

Tanny how did you get this morning at the EPU?

So sorry tigs. You must be heartbroken.

However much we try to tell ourselves that its all over, somehow someone else doing it gives it a level of finality.

I went to EPU this morning (kat here we can self refer and just turn up) and saw obs/gyne who agreed with my self diagnosis. Test was definitely negative and she thinks everything seems normal for an early MC. Signed off work for a week.

Next step is to get GP appt and bloods taken for RMC referral.

Back in the saddle and all that.

pjen and tiny how are you doing? And London, nice to have you here with us.

London , you will let us know how your scan goes?

Appointment is to see consultant and get viability scan. Receptionists do not appear to have the foggiest what i am talking about. An early scan at 10 weeks is pointless, if it is another missed miscarriage i will be too late for medical management. Id rather find out at 7 weeks and take the pills. Not allowed to self refer here and epu strict on that.

London hope you get good news... otherwise this thread is jinxed

I am hanging in here. Nothing will be known until Friday and if I hadn't had the scan I wouldn't know anything was wrong as there is no bleeding...

but now have knicker watch doubled as I know it can happen at any time...

kat that's really crap! Forums like this really expose how much of a postcode lottery it is. So far everything here seems pretty straightforward, but not counting any chickens just in case (sorry for the reproduction humour!)

Tigs and Tanny I am so sorry for your losses. :( I know no matter what I say your broken heart needs the time to recover. Be kind to yourselves.

London Good luck!!
I am still heavily bleeding. I have an appointment today afternoon (I am GMT-5; so your night time) to see if things are okay. DH is not in town and I am not sure if I want to go alone. Last MC he was travelling and I went to the US alone and then I drove back to work 45 minutes while crying loudly in the car. I am not sure if I am up for it. I really break down if it is an MC since we did 3 IVFs and have spent a fortune on this. Besides, this was our last try as we are moving and need our money for other things. Specially that DH is gone till Friday and for a whole week, I don't have anyone to help me with DC1. This way, I still have a bit tiny hope that keeps me going. I am not sure if I will go today. I think I prefer to postpone it to Friday afternoon. Haven't decided yet. Will let you guys know how my decision goes.

Oh pjen my heart goes out to you. What a horrible time to be on your own. If virtual hand holding helps, we're all here for you!

I don't think you're wanting advice from us, you're a big girl, but my empathetic response is that if I was in your shoes I would want to wait until I didn't have to do it alone.

I so admire your determination to keep going and your fight to get through.

Hugs and tea from me...

Jen I echo what Tanny said. I'd wait till your hubby gets back from his business trip.

Tiny hang in there and look after yourself in this difficult time.

Also, ladies please accept my apologies for of the spelling errors - i'm on the phone and I always struggle!