Martians 2014, thread 11. KEGELS!

[LyraSilvertongue]

Shiny new thread, ladies :)

Oooh yes hot I have felt the Braxton Hicks too (got them throughout second pregnancy as well). It's weird - not painful but a very distinct tightening sensation. When I went into labour the contractions felt exactly the same at first (painless tightenings) then after about an hour someone flicked a switch and the same tightenings were suddenly painful. I wonder if madwife was my first midwife?? Are you Sarah with blonde hair and from Australia?? Also you are so right about having the birthplan to answer all those minor questions (vitamin K, cord cutting etc) that you might not think about properly when you have just been handed your adorable new baby.

Madwife, how much stronger than pethadine is diamorphine?

I wish I was from Australia but alas no I'm not!

Pram If you know what you want and are confident enough to make it clear when in labour you don't need to write it down, just make it clear to them at the beginning that you want physiological third stage but consent to active if needed. Then everyone knows what you want without having to ask you in the gaps between contractions :)

Now I must go to bed, had a knackering day of driving to see my sister, and chasing my 4 year old nephew round a massive park and then carrying my 14month niece part the way home when nephew was too tired to walk so had to go in the pushchair.

Also need to ensure I look good for my scan and clinic tomorrow, wonder which midwife I will get and whether they will realise I work there! I'm looking forward to it hehe!

Pram the debate about pethidine and diamorphine is a big one, diamorphine is a lot stronger as it is effectively morphine, ie heroin. We have to mix the powder with water before injecting. I'm not a pharmacist so don't quote me on it, but pethidine is less strong but both are only sedatives not 'pain relievers' as such. They work well in earlier labour but can cause a feeling of severe 'out of your head' being high etc. lots of women have reported to me they didn't like the feeling but some love it. I personally wouldn't touch it. Also it's difficult to predict the effect on baby if you give it late on in labour, it will affect baby in labour as it passes through the placenta, making them very drowsy and sometimes unresponsive at birth and can sometimes affect them for a couple of days, which can sometimes cause difficulty with BF.

All drugs in labour affect the baby in some way...except gas and air, paracetamol. there will always be side effects but they can be managed, ie close monitoring, resuscitation.

Definitely do your research, and check what your hospital uses, eg. Our delivery suite uses Diamorphine but the birth suite uses pethidine.

thanks, Madwife, I already know what my hospital uses and that they won't bring diamorphine to a home birth.

Ooh loving having a Madwife/Midwife on the thread. All very helpful - think I had forgotten most of that from last time.

My birth plan from last time was would prefer not to have C section but will consent to it if it becomes necessary. This time I think I'll actually give a bit more detail because would rather I could just focus on the labour itself - my bottom line will always be just get the baby out as healthy as possible but do have some preferences along the way.

PS hoping to put - baby should be a nice 7 pounder with a small head into birth plan but don't think that will cut it!

I'm so glad you are on this thread madwife - and not just because you are a hippy midwife

I haven't caught up, just read last few posts but just to say - I love pethidine. Will read through properly tomorrow, been a mad couple of days! Hope all is well

Thanks for explaining madwife plenty to think about isn't there!

Prambo I was given diamorphine but I was fairly far along in labour. It slowed down my contractions so I then got given oxytocin to keep them going. I also tried to sleep between contractions lol totally stoned! It defo helped with pain relief though I'm guessing sooner rather than later is better.

Ds came out v quiet and slept peacefully for 24hours whilst I stayed awake all night staring at him with wonder and love. Just couldn't believe he was ours.

Ah ....can't wait for the post birth high!!

Off to London for work today and i'm wearing my first lot of maternity wear :) (have to say i'm a little bit excited teeheehee) I had to invest in some new 'professional' looking clothes as I can't go to where i'm going in my comfy jeans, which I've been getting away with in the office. All bought from matalan - seems to be good value so far, and I think i'll get a lot of use out of them, really soft and comfortable, only a baggy smart top and some smart trousers but me thinks I look goood :) I haven't told anyone down there yet so it will be interesting to see how far the gossip grapevine has got
Not looking forward to the train, since they were allowed to go faster and bend and things they make me really sick :S but I am soo getting a burger king from the station!!

I really want to avoid pethedine and it's relations. I've never had it before but dd was so sleepy, I think she was so shocked by her quick birth. I wouldn't want that to happen again if I had pethedine. Besides like madwife said it doesn't actually stop pain it just relaxes you.

I couldn't tolerate g&a the first time, I just kept puking. Last time however it was like nectar! It was absolutely amazing and totally helped me control the pain and I was pretty close to delivery by the time I got it, things were pretty painful! It's just like being totally pissed, but as soon as you stop breathing it you're normal again, which I liked.

I'm dad sitting this morning, I have to keep his wallet and medication (on a no drinking kick again) and take him to the drs. So I've given him his diazapam, folic acid, thiamine and b12, and made him a cup of tea. Then we have to go see the nurse. This is stressful and exhausting but I have to help him if he wants to stop drinking.

Thanks Madwife those posts have been really helpful!

I guess I do have 1/2 an idea about what I would like to happen, at least afterwards, I didn't think the birth plan involved things after baby was out!

Good luck with your scan! hope everything goes well.

Mummypig that sounds stressful, I hope the day goes as well as possible for you!

I'm in a disgusting mood again today

Argument with DP last night fuelled by tiredness and hormones on both sides, in which I screamed the gem 'you absolute fucking cunt, you might as well walk away because let's face it, you wouldn't still be here if I wasn't carrying your child'. Not exactly a proud moment of mine but certainly how I felt at the time.

It did eventually evolve into a genuine discussion about how unwanted I feel because sexually, everything that's happened since the BFP has come about because I've thrown myself at him. He hasn't been instigating anything at all in that department but doesn't feel that there should be some extra romance or affection there to make sure it doesn't look like he's lost interest in me.

He's taken that on board and is apparently going to work to change it. Good result I suppose. I just feel down and arsy today about it all too. Like I just want to curl up with a duvet and cry.

So, I'm struggling a bit again. Before pregnancy, DP and I would have a blow out night at weekend to reconnect after a blazing row. Got rather very drunk, smoked too much, did some kinky stuff. But I can't drink and smoke. And if it was possible to force the sexual bit, we wouldn't need to reconnect in the first place.

We're supposed to be going out for a meal tonight at a restaurant I like called El Rincon de Rafa which does great authentic Spanish tapas. Hopefully that will snap me out of this.

ah Jolleigh that sounds rough - hopefully things will change for you now you managed to get it out in the open?

And a nice evening out might be a good chance for him to turn on the charm

Thanks block. I'm home now and just had my breakfast. Peanut butter on toast. Yummy. I ended up getting dragged to estate agents and I am going to view a flat with dad tomorrow. His house sale is due to complete this month. Ds also had a party which ends at the time of the flat viewing so I'm going to have to hightail it round there.

Why do I spend my life running round after others?

Hopefully so Blockette - my mood probably isn't aided by the fact I'm sat in the office with swollen eyes because of the crying. I'm not a cryer (obviously unless I'm pregnant!) and I've got people sending me notes on work's instant messaging service asking if I'm ok. They mean well but it's truly humiliating for me when I'm trying to work.

Just checking in (and trying to catch up!)
Had my 20-week scan yesterday, and everything's fine with baby She was not terribly co-operative, but got into some fantastic positions, including with her nose pretty much on her knees... It's a fab picture, if rather unusual!
I'm feeling really hormonal today though, and my tummy muscles feel like I've done 3 million sit-ups.
Sympathy for those having OH trouble.
On the birth plan front, I didn't bother with one for the boys, as we were aware that anything could happen with a twin delivery! As I'd had most interventions short of a c-section with them, I decided to go with the flow for DD, and I'll probably do the same for this one. DH and Zi had lots of discussions beforehand about the 'ideal' birth, so he could be an advocate fore if necessary.

Morning all. Well, afternoon now. Had a lovely morning, breakfast in the cafe with the village mums then a bit of retail therapy, now lazing in the bath. I could get used to this!!!

I had an interesting birth with ds1. Labour was fine, quick and I got on really well with g&a. Unfortunately his head was at the wrong angle and his hr started dipping so they had to get the Dr in, do an episiotomy and Hoover him out with the ventouse cap. I then had the injection but it very quickly came apparent that the placenta wasn't going to come out so I was given an epidural and taken to theatre for it to be removed.
When I mentioned that in labour with ds2 the midwife went off to check my notes and found that the Dr, in his haste had ripped the cord off the placenta when he tried to deliver it. Easy birth, injection. And delivery of placenta with ds2!!!

I'm like Pram I have complete faith in my hcps you hear some real horror stories but that's because they make good stories. No one re tells good stories. Bad hcps are in the minority and dare I say it half the time it's because the patients are bad patients. Want/expect too much. Wait till after the event to complain rather than speaking out while it's happening.

I have just fallen over in town and grazed my knee ( and put a whole in my brand new mat tights) I am now sitting at my desk trying not to cry, in lots of pain.

Jols sounds difficult. Hope supper tonight is at least romantic, and enjoyable. Is your DP funny about sex in pregnancy. Mine is freaked out by the idea, and has yet to be persuaded!

still catching up on last night and this mornings chat, but right now I need to release. I am in so much pain right now. My nipple sorry if tmi is in agony. it always seems to be this one, the pain comes and goes, but its is extreme. I am sitting at my desk with my bra unhooked and the left boob hanging out of my bra....nice (I am lab based, so have a nive big white coat to disguise the boob bouncing off my knee). does anyone else get this. the pain actually take my breath away :(

He has been really freaked out by it Becca and is struggling to not think of me as the receptacle holding his baby. Daft thing is we're both horny as sin. I'm going to ply him with alcohol tonight I reckon...he's Portuguese so the Spanish food and booze will be close enough to a taste of home to put him in a good mood.

Jolls, is there any way you can define yourself other than this sexual being who needs servicing all the time? I say this not because I think you're over-sexed or wrong to be feeling inadequately loved, but because you may face months yet of this reticence from your fella. It sounds like you need coping strategies which don't always boil down to you getting fucked as it seems that this is the way you get to feel most attractive/wanted by your other half. It doesn't bode well for when you have a tiny baby in the house. I'mnot denying you have a high sex drive but it look as though this pregnancy is a good opportunity to channel your energies elsewhere. Fucking hell, I really hope that doesn't sound patronising; I know what I want to say but can't seem to type it out eloquently. I have only just woken up though at 1.45pm

On a side note I haven't had anything other than pedestrian-ish sex since I got sober and stopped doing drugs. I miss the deviant stuff at times, but feel it's a necessary trade-off to leave that part of me behind with the alcohol. There are much richer ways of deepening the bond between partners and I actually defy anyone to be enjoying that kind of shit when both partners are stone cold sober and free from drugs.