October 2013 - Operation Baby Eviction

[MrsHoratioNelson]

sheet

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT -lost in transition

Rox our nct lady said 10 years ago people were taught complicated breathing patterns for labour that their birth partner would guide them through but now they advise just doing what feels good at the time. Try to make it slow, remember to breathe out not hold your breath. We tried counting in for 3/out for 4, little puffs etc.

Ill second what orange says about breath holding I done it when in labour last time at home until I got to hospital and they just said breath in through your nose out through your mouth and don't get me wrong it didn't make the pain go away but it made me focus as u don't automatically breath like that as a reflex. Xx

littleduck congrAts on the birth of your little one :-)

Today's mission is, organise baby shower present. Go to mothercare to order the adapters for car seat to go on buggy. Browse John Lewis. Try and shift the rediculous sore throat that's cropped up. Catch up on the thread. See u all later xx

Well, after a trip to the hospital for monitoring, my contractions disappeared... So I'm back to SC at 39+2. Only now my DM is staying (to look after DS when I go in)- but it could be weeks! She lives about 2 hours away so I'm really not sure what to do. She's really helpful and DS adores her, but I kind of want my alone time when he goes to nursery tomorrow and I know DH just isn't quite comfortable. Any ideas?

Great news Hayley and congrats Littleducks.

Hope you feel better soon GT. And Pseudo I'd be royally pissed off too - stick to your guns cos you're definitely in the right here.

Congratulations little ducks - fx weight will go up

I think my waters have stopped leaking (it's hard to tell with these super absorbent maternity pads!) . From looking on 'Dr Google' I reckon it could have been my hind waters but will see what the hospital say later.

Sorry to hear of the breast feeding woes, I can't begin to imagine how hard bf is going to be. I hope they sort themselves out soon
And very happy to hear Isaac is doing so well

sorry things don't seem to be moving on mrszz

I'm still cooking at 39+2. still getting bh and occasional stomach cramp but not much else. keep reassuring myself that umlauf thought she was miles off labour and suddenly went so maybe it will be soon!!

Mrszzz are there any supplies you need that your mum could go and get? That would be useful and give you some alone time.

Lots of us getting close to d day now. As a first timer (and I imagine the second or later time is just as bad) the over-analysing every twinge and constant knicker checking is exhausting!

Have all bar one thing on my essential to do list done now and DH is busy faffing around in the "nice to have" end of the list as usual! He's busy putting up pictures and re-positioning window catches, rather than focussing on things like making sure there's a door on the baby's bedroom...

congrats littleducks!

and great news about Isaac hayle

nat sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday and they spoilt you rotten!

umlauf so sorry BFing is so challenging... it must be really stressful. When are you going home? Perhaps, as a couple of people here suggested, it will be very different once you are home and both you and Bertie will feel more relaxed? I don't really know what else to advise and hope the midwives will continue to help you... I also had to squeeze and shape my boob at the beginning into a manageable size for DS's little mouth. And sometimes it helps to squeeze a drop of milk out so they can smell it and their feeding instinct kicks in. Hope it will work out for you eventually x

pseudo grrrrr at your DH and his vaguebooking... as MoN rightly put it, this is what teenage girls do. Why don't leave him to fix it now?

favellio looking forward to your news!

and MrsZzz I couldn't understand you better... not sure if you've been following the thread over the last week but I've had my MIL here for the last 6 days... there was no reason for her to come, I didn't need any help as DS is at school and then afterschool club he loves until 6pm, so it was all about DH worrying she was lonely and thinking it would be nice for her to come and visit for a few days... grrrr... perhaps nice for her but not so nice for me. And she is a lovely lady but I just don't want anyone around me from morning to night every single day... no matter how lovely. It was ok for 2-3 days but I found it very hard going and very draining... I felt that I had to take her out, entertain her and she kept talking to me all the time... perfectly natural I suppose but I just couldn't cope with it right now. So I was very moody, cold and not very nice at all the last two days. And had an argument with DH last night... as he just went on his computer and detached himself from everything, leaving me to do all the chatting and entertaining even when he was at home... I wasn't impressed. I was faking long naps, long baths etc... just to have 30min to myself. No other advice really... just wanted to say - I know exactly how you feel and it doesn't matter how lovely and close this other person is

and... MIL left about 30min ago!!! I feel so relieved and it's amazing not to have to talk to someone and have the house to myself again!! Also, I can cook a massive enormous delicious plate of pasta tonight. MIL doesn't eat pasta apart from spaghetti bolognese. The thought of pasta makes me so happy right now!!

Re. the MIL situations, can you just say no?

I'm the type of person to fall all over themselves to accommodate everyone else and I'm also very sensitive of other people's feelings and would die if I knew that I'd upset or offended someone but I've decided that now is finally my time to be selfish and start saying no.

I've pushed back on people visiting me and advised that I'll tell them when they can come once baby arrives. It's gone down like a shit sandwich but for the first time, I couldn't care less. This is stressful enough without feeling like you have to entertain the masses, keep the house spotless and everyone fed and watered so I'm not doing it.

They can come when I'm ready and not a minute before.

In your situations, considering they're already there or en-route, perhaps a compromise is in order? "It's been a few days now and I'm feeling exhausted and would really like a few days to myself before baby arrives." - it would be hard to argue with and the other person would seem incredibly unreasonable to refuse.

Sorry, didn't mean to write an essay - can you tell I'm fed up now?!

Thanks orange and natalieand for your advice on breathing. I'll be sure to concentrate on general breathing to distract from the pains!

I can just imagine you going to town with goodies from that awesome pasta drawer tonight, Clapham

Congratulations littleducks

Feeling a little more human, today. Just parked up at the Trafford Centre, waiting for it to open - going to treat myself to a Kindle. Thought it would be a worthwhile investment for the long nights ahead...

what shape shall I have shire?

Kindle is great - really recommend it. I tried to resist it for ages (for some weird irrational reason - I have so much technology in my life every day that sometimes it feels too much and I want paper things and old fashioned tools...) but DH finally bought it for me for my birthday and I love it. It's light in a handbag, you can store so many books on it. I loved it on holidays. I got the new one with illuminated screen for night reading.

Congrats littleducks!

to all the new mums, first few weeks are the hardest, just remember itll all get easier sooner than you think!

This time tomorrow I shall be having my ELCS!
Feeling a mixture of nervous, excited and scared. But mostly upset that i'll be spending almost 3 days away from DD we've had loads of cuddles this morning which has been lovely, will miss her so much though!!

All those SC, good luck and hope those little niggles turn into full on labour! Hope someone shares a birthday with my soon-to-be-born DS! eeek, I might be making the next birth announcement!!

Hi all, sorry to hear so many of you are struggling at the moment, are ill, feeling low, having probs with dp etc. I hope you're all getting some real life support and can find some time today to rest and destress (and eat pasta clapham).
Congrats to littleducks and glad to hear Isaac is now off the oxygen hayle.
Day 3 of my dh being away and missing him, off out to visit family today to get out the house.
I have a 2.5 hour breathing and relaxation course tomorrow so hope to be an expert in it by tomorrow evening!
SC at 36 + 4...

and I'm exactly the same untitled, probably this is why I found it so stressful. I'm often too sensitive to other people's feelings and I've been brought up to look after guests, like their needs should take priority while they are guests in my house. It's been engrained in my brain since childhood and now I seem unable to act otherwise. DP can just get on with his things and relax but I can't - I always worry about someone being bored or uncomfortable etc... saying this, I don't think I was very pleasant or welcoming the last two days... so I now feel rotten and guilty about it... I think you are right to be honest and decline from the start - better this way, better for you and probably better for them. I wish I had the guts to do it when DP first came out with this idea...

Xuntitledx - I have done the same. I have decided that from now until the baby is a week old I don't want visitors. End of story. I'm fully fed up of feeling and looking like crap and there is no way I am running around after guests. Dh can put up with seeing me like this because he did this to me lol! You are so right that if ever we are allowed to be selfish it's now.

I've been really strict about after the baby is born too as I know I will feel very self conscious of bfing, and don't want to feel banished to our bedroom in those first few days.

MrsH - I'm also finding the constant watching for signs exhausting. It's all making me feel a bit frazzled to be honest.

Umlauf - sorry little Bertie still won't feed, it must be so frustrating :(

Clapham - glad your mil is gone. Peace at last!!

Thanks for the sympathy Clapham and the advice orange and untitled. Turns out she has some things to be home for on Tues so will leave tomorrow afternoon unless things happen before then. Thing is, I invited her when I thought labour was starting as she's going to look after DS. I can't complain really- she took DS out fora long walk this morning and let me and DH lie in until 10! I know I'm lucky to have her, it's just a constant reminder that everyone's waiting for this baby now.

Enjoy your pasta Clapham

I love my kindle. Being able to read with just one hand is a huge bonus! (Although mine is 'old' and not backlit, but I do have a little light... in fact, I must fish it out...).

Much sympathy for those with MILs coming over. I have some very sweet guests coming just for a few hours in the next couple of weeks, which is a great distraction but a bit draining - sleep deprivation makes my convo somewhat rubbish. Plus I can't fob off their questions about my c-section date when they are actually sitting in front of me.

Oh clapham glad your mil has gone. That's all you need when heavily pregnant. I'm sure she means well but you just want time to yourself on mat leave.

Happy Sunday everyone!

I've just visited my parents and I could kill my mother. I made the mistake of mentioning possible baby names to her months ago, of course she picked up on the one that we like most, Felix, and said how awful it was.

Turns out that she's told everyone, followed by pulling a disgusted face and laughing about how horrid it is. "He'll get called Felix The Cat". I've never even bloody heard of Felix the Cat, so I doubt anyone baby grows up with will have either!

This morning she said that she saw my aunt yesterday, who had been to my cousins with my other aunts and they'd all sat round and discussed what I might call the baby and they all laughed at the name and agreed how horrible it was, with comments like 'you can't name a baby after cat food'.

I told my mum to tell them that they can eff off and we'll call him what we like.

I told mum not to tell anyone names for this exact reason. Everyone loves to turn their nose up at baby names. I'm SO annoyed with her.

Next time I'm not mentioning names to anyone at all. I wish people would butt out.

Congratulations littleducks! And GT on being home.
cherry hope all goes well tomorrow. Will your DD visit you in hospital?
Sympathy on MIL visits, I had mine for a week 3 weeks after the birth last time. It hasn't been discussed yet this time. I would have been cross with DP too clapham given it's his Mum!
38+0 here SC.

Smitten, I've seen similar reactions to the name Felix on the baby names forum here. I'm afraid you probably will get that reaction a fair amount, but particularly annoying when it's your own mother! I think it is a lovely name, FWIW.

Smitten just ignore them. I think its a lovely name for what it's worth. We had similar reactions from my parents when we named ds, my father even insisted on calling him by his middle name as he preferred it to the first name. I had to have strong words and we got that sorted pretty quick, I was fuming! Anyway, what matters is that he is your son and you can call him what you like.

Good luck tomorrow cherry!
We have the in laws staying next weekend but only for one night over DHs birthday. I have asked that we eat here rather than a meal out in town so I don't get too tired and they will be out during the day watching DH play hockey so hopefully should be fine.