MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 9: Heartbeats, hormones and more Gregg's pasties than you can shake a stick at!

[rescoonetwothree]

Old thread!

Stats spreadsheet thanks to MTB

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Welcome Martians!

Pram That decking is screaming out for some fairy lights! The pound shop have some nice little solar dragonfly ones

I'm not sure I should be breaking somebody else's news for them . But no, not good I'll leave it for her to explain further if she wants to.

Oooh, thanks, Hottie!

Lyra, I have found Saggy

£495 pm? A 3 bed here is £1,300. I'm moving up north!! It's lovely pram I hope it will be a happy home for you and your family.

I hope those that haven't been active on here are ok. Would love to hear from them if they are reading.

Which thread did Saggy post in? I hope she is alright.

Great British Menu is on the telly and they're doing main courses. Lots of pink lamb and pink beef. Drool. May have to pay the butchers a visit...

I think Saggy is getting some great support on the other thread. I hope she feels comfortable popping back here every now and then to keep us updated on how she's getting on.

Mummy - northern prices are ace aren't they? Mine's a 3 bed, similar to Pram's but end terraced, right next to a met stop that drops me practically next to work in Manchester city centre all for the same price.

I remember my first place after leaving my parents was a little bed sit with a garden to myself, all bills included (including sky and internet) near to the city centre (short bus ride) for £350 a month. I loved that place.

I can't find Saggy

Oh you buggers, my place is even more north than you but you wouldn't get a house for £500. No where near London standards, but my last flat was a 2 bed and £550. And that was pretty good. I blame the tourists.

A quick rightmove informs me it is £600-700 for a 3 bed terrace round these parts.

Saggy is here

Mummy, I knocked the rent down to £450 per month. The views of Rivington are just beautiful (we can see the Pike and all surrounding hills) and we are right in front of the Leeds and Liverpool canal (this is our stretch)

Thanks for the link. Good work knocking the price down. We get mates rates for our 2 bed, it's £800, which is cheap for a 2 bed here. I know of 2 people in the village who rent 3 beds for £825 but I don't know how the hell they have managed that as every time I look on right move 3 beds are £1,300 minimum.

I have to say, I'd never move within this country away from Manchester because of the housing costs alone.

On my old street there was an (admittedly needing some TLC and in a bit of a rough area) 5 bed end terraced house going for 96k. I just haven't seen that anywhere else.

Poor Saggy. Looks like she's found some brilliant support though.

Pram so pleased for you. There's lots of fairy light opportunities in that house! Fab price as well, we're paying £625 for our new 3 bed semi.

Ice thanks for the Seraphine info. I'm buying that dress for sure.

Rental prices are ridiculous where I am. The family next door let their house when they moved to Florida (temporarily) last year. I think they're getting about £3,000 PCM for it.

Yay pram! Am also at prices! Hope everyone's well, haven't had a chance to properly catch up but will check in later!

P.s. Kegels!

Lyra - for that price I'd want a toilet that wiped my arse for me and a live in man-maid who I could use for sex.

Jolls, not sure your DP would be too keen on the latter

Maybe not...not sure an argument of 'but honey, it comes with the house' would cut it

I'm far too horny...I apologise in advance for any filth that may exit my mouth (but I'm certainly not apologetic of anything that goes in )

Is anybody else watching a ton of birthing videos?

I've watched loads of homebirth ones, because that's what I'm going for. Most of the time they are calm and serene and the woman are 'at one' with the experience etc. All this appeals to my hippyish nature.

Last night I saw one that I thought was going to be like that. The woman was wearing beads and lying on some kind of Moroccan bedspread with loads of blankets and pillows. Her husband looked like Jack Sparrow and there were loads of naked toddlers running about. All standard home birth stuff.

But when she started labouring she was screaming at her DH ''IS THAT POO COMING OUT OF ME?? GET THE POO GODDAMMIT, GET THE POOOOOO!!''

This went on throughout the whole video. She alternated between shitting everywhere, screaming at her husband because she was shitting, eating melon, and asking for a scrunchie or ''A PAIR OF SCISSORS TO CUT ALL THIS HAIR OFF, I NEED THE HAIR OFF MY FACE!!''

It was so funny. I thought, that is going to me. All these plans of candles and music and I'm going to end up screaming at my DP and shitting everywhere

DP and I watched a good film last night. It's called The Purge. Anyone seen it? It's set in 2022 America and the economy's thriving, crime pretty much non-existent, no violence etc. This state has come about because once a year they have The Purge, where between 7pm and 7am everything is legal, including murder, so people can get their violence and hatred out in one go and be good the rest of the year. The film is about the events of one night during The Purge. Very interesting idea in a Hunger Games kind of way.

Hot, I need a link to that video, it sounds like serious entertainment! I've been watching a lot of OBEM. I love watching it, it's so emotional!

I really hope poor saggy gets some good news.

'NO' to both Hottie and Lyra They both look too scary.

I don't think most people would commit any crimes, even if there were no laws temporarily. Can't think of any I particularly fancy right now anyway...