December 2013 - blue, pink, what do you think?

[NomDeClavier]

New thread! Pile in!

Futterby, your MIL sounds like a complete witch. The next time she says anything about your weight or your bump, say 'actually, my midwife is really happy with my weight and mine and the baby's growth, Thankyou very much' and refuse to discuss it further. Likewise with the names, if she says anything again, ignore her and say something vague like 'oh well, you've had your chance to name babies, now it's our turn', and don't discuss it again. It sounds like she's purposely trying to upset you and undermine you, and hard as it is the best way to deal with it is to not let her get to you and ignore her bitter sniping.

Welcome rosenip and chili

futterby your MIL sounds awful! Did your OH react to that at all? It's not her choice what you call your children - even if you decide to call them Princess Consuela Banana Hammock (courtesy of Pheobe from FRIENDS) it's your business. She sounds like someone who isn't enjoying the attention not being on them for once. I'd nip that in the bud now before you start hearing throughout your childs upbringing - don't hold them like that, I'd never do that to discipline my child etc. I've been quite lucky with my MIL, if anything she's gotten more over protective of me than my mum! My StepMIL on the other hand is another story, 5 days after my MC earlier in the year she rang me and told me off for being at home and not doing something with my time and that I was moping - considering I was still high on pain killers and still bursting into tears every half hour I think I was doing pretty well to even get out of bed!

oh futterby

  when I was pg with DS; both my Mil and Mother went into menopause. It was the most awful hellish experience ever. Both women were arranging and re-arranging my entire house (all the time); both women were obsessively picking on what food we ate, how much we spent, what we did. My own Mother actually started a campaign against DH because she believed he was being violent towards me (he is the most gentle creature you'll ever meet). Mil was batty with rage over the way I would spice my food and would come over weekly while I was out to throw out my cooking and replace it with hers. 

Eventually both women were also not happy with our cleanliness so hired a housekeeper to clean our home and tell them EVERYTHING we did. 

To be honest though, I really enjoyed the housekeeper.

The royal baby is blue! So at least they'll not pinch any of my girl names!!

Thanks what is it with these MIL's?! Shrubs I have no words, after watching my own mother suffer a miscarriage I understand how distressing it is. I'm lucky enough to have never experienced it myself but after seeing how distraught my mum was, it's not something I would wish on anyone. Queen that's crazy! Wish my mum would hire me a housekeeper

DP didn't notice her sniping at me, he was chatting to his gran at the time but I did tell him later on that he can't let his mum speak to me like that. She's a really awful, awful person, my DP had a terrible childhood due to her verbal and physical abuse and we've decided that she won't be involved in our DS's life at all. Well, as much as we can manage. We won't be going to see her and she won't be coming to see us. She has such little interest in us that she doesn't even know where we live so that won't be too difficult. It's really terrible it's come to that but she's so toxic that it would be better for our little boy to have no contact with her.

I hope that when my little boy grows up and gets married, I'll be able to have a good relationship with his partner/wife.

Mildred now I'm worried they'll go for the name we've picked!

Ugh futterby- I have no advice for managing the monster-in-law other than trying to take the higher ground! I guess also remembering she'll more than likely be in your life forever so no matter what a pain in the arse she is you kind of need to stay civil. Way easier said than done!! Luckily mine is irritating and a wee bit interfering at worst. You have my sympathy though

Update on work woes.. Went in this morning dreading seeing my consultant. He took me aside straight away to apologise for his email. Said he sent it at a bad moment and really regretted it as he realises it came across as bullying.

Although still a bit annoyed that it ruined my weekend and gave me sleepless nights I appreciated his apology.

Feel like its getting a bit more sorted now..

Thanks again for the support- much appreciated!

Hi everyone, welcome to newcomers. More scans! Very exciting- glad it?s all good news. Sorry, long post, but wanted to see how everyone is! V excited about royal baby boy!
Sorry about your ceiling Queen, glad it all got sorted and your party was a success. MrsShrubs how is the kitten?! Love cats, so sad when they get dumped And hurray on sick-free week!
Ladymedea- how are you? Really sorry you?ve been having such a hard time. Did you manage to get the support you needed? It?s not the same but I?ve been up and down like a yo-yo since surgery. It?s awful, that feeling of just wanting to cry all the time or not being able to find any excitement in anything. Thinking of you.
Frouby- hope your daughter is starting to come around to the idea of a sibling! Can?t offer any advice, only that I was one of 4 and can?t imagine life without my brothers, (even if we didn?t always agree on which tv channel should be on!)
Mildred glad you had a nice holiday, but what a pain they?re being at work! I agree, they have to consider your request and rather than a downright ?no? they should try and reach a compromise. The only thing I thought was that presumably, your 12 hr shift is then followed by someone else?s 12 hr shift? If you change to 8 hrs, does that mean there?ll be no cover at your grade for the missing 4 hrs? They?re not likely to manage to fill that small gap with existing staff and also might legally be obliged to provide a minimum level of cover over 24 hrs. So although you?re trying to be helpful by staying on the rota as much as you can, from their point of view it might be simpler for you to come off all together so they can just get a locum to cover all your shifts. Or would they/you consider 6 hrs? They?d be more likely to find someone to cover a 6 hr gap than a 4 hr one. They may also be more likely to agree to your suggestion of using up your a/l to break up the long runs as it?s a ?neater? solution to the rota (but sucks for you!). Hope it gets resolved. When things like this come up at work, it?s like all the hard work you?ve put in is forgotten and they just think you?re trying to ?pull a fast one?. Your consultant needs to be very careful what he says to you and especially in emails, implying he sees no difference between a 12 hr shift at work and a holiday and referring to your ?situation?!!
Pistachio I definitely know what you mean about finding it hard to bond. I?m hoping if all?s well at our scan next week that might help, but until then what with surgery and all I?ve really been holding back from getting excited.
Gannet- omg, how cool is it that you won a new bathroom?! Hope you?re enjoying picking it all out!
Futterby, can?t believe the cheek of your MIL! Try and ignore her, and certainly don?t change your names! I find with in-laws you have to mark your boundaries quite firmly or things will only get worse once DC are on the scene! Sounds as though you?ll be able to keep your distance quite easily if necessary though.
Right, step away from the keyboard.... night all. x

futterby your mil sounds horrific. at least it sounds like dh is with you on this though. there's nothing worse than evil mils when dh can't see it and think the sun shines out of their arses! not my experience thankfully but I've seen it happen to many friends.
have to say that although I'm not a monarchist in the slightest I'm pretty impressed that Kate Middleton popped out a 8lb. 6oz baby! who'd have thunk it...

Wow, futterby really? Tell her to fuck off that it's really not up to her, it's the decision of you and your DH alone. What a cheek!

Been excitedly planning out nursery decoration now we know the sex, going for nice pale purples (I'm not really a pink person).

Have found my moods varying between irritation/wanting to bawl crying/exhausted, but hey ho!

I can't sleep. :(

Me neither queen. I'm fecked off my computer isn't connecting to the net...reduced to my iPhone and haven't been able to work since 10pm.

Glad I'm not the only one who was impressed Chilli!

Purple sounds lovely ccsays! So, so wish we had a nursery to paint for our lo :(

Me either Queen, pregnancy insomnia is a bitch :/

usually, I'm the first one in bed and the last one up.

pregnancy is just not my favourite condition to be in.

I absolutely hated it at the start but I'm kind of enjoying it now! Currently watching my bump jump about when I'm being kicked, love it :)

Futterby I'm so glad I'm not the only one wishing I had a nursery to paint!

We'll be living in a large studio flat until the baby is about 6 months old so the most exciting thing we can do is rearrange furniture in the main room... On the plus side, it means we won't have to bother with any baby monitors!

How has everyone else been coping with making space for their new arrival? Am I the only one that's struggling?!

itsliz - also on the plus side everything will be close, really handy in the first few months where getting something from upstairs seems like a huge mission and often you'll find yourself stuck in one spot, so being able to reach for / ask to be passed water/phone/food is great.
I would love to be decorating nursery too though...

Itsliz we've doing doing great big clear outs to try and make room for baby. We are lucky to have a spare room which will become the nursery but at the moment the wardrobes are filled with winter coats, skiing stuff, spare blankets & pillows etc. 3 large black bags went to the charity shop on Sunday and I suspect a few more will have to go in the coming weeks.

I think no matter what space we all have, we fill it!

Eep, didn't mean to make anyone feel bad, sorry!

We just bought the house we live in now and had bought it with the fact we wanted to have kids in mind, so we knew we needed more than one bedroom. It's filled with shite boxes at the moment though...

ccsays Oh no, don't worry about it, I'm just curious more than anything!

When we move out of this place next year we'll be looking for somewhere a bit bigger, it's just a case of learning to live with 3 of us in the same room in the meantime!
We do have a garden and plenty of storage space though so it's not all bad - although TakingTheStairs I'm in exactly the same boat, as every wardrobe and cupboard is pretty much full to the brim! I'm so determined to get it all cleared before I get too huge!

And yogafan I hadn't really thought about that... Our lack of space is actually starting to seem like a bit of a luxury!

music all the cat rescue centers including Battersea were full so no one could take him in, a vets I went to to get him checked over said their stepdaughter was looking for a kitten so I sent across pictures and he was rehomed Saturday night if we didn't already have 2 young cats and baby on the way then we would have kept him, he was so cute, but it just wasn't practical. If we couldn't have gotten him homed then we would have kept him.

Hope everyone wasn't kept awake by the storms last night, was so hard dragging myself out of bed this morning!!

I finally went to sleep last night.

planning my neighbours baby showerand all the party stuff arrived today. I could have sworn that I ordered a 'prefilled' pinatabut it's empty so I'll have to buy a bag of sweets to fill it with.

now, it looks like magic bean will be sleeping in our room. Sister 1 wont be getting married till next year at the best--so her and sister 2 share our third room. I'm pretty sure once sister 1 leaves, sister 2 wont want to be here. I hope sister 2 finds love and independence soon.

YAY!! My newlook maternity sale stuff has just arrived at work! Cannot wait to try it on later and be extra comfy in this heat!

So jealous Shrubs! I'm finding it so hard to find some maternity clothes, I've got one pair of trousers and two vest tops that fit me and that's it. Really struggling!

flutterby ditto the others, what nasty comments! Definitely has some issues of her own to put people down like that to make herself feel better. My mum is highly likely to not like any names we choose (she's very traditional) but wouldn't say so to us.

I really want to re-do the nursery- it's been yellow for both boys (didn't know what we were having) with winnie the pooh border and a few matching pics etc- so boring. My SIL showed me pics of their nursery (they live overseas) and she did one wall a lovely aqua and had a tree sticker/transfer on the wall with a shelf on one bit that was a branch. It looked so nice! Thing is, not sure what we're doing. Might have to move DS2 in with DS1 (which they'll probably love) and then I could re-do the nursery but still won't know whether to go for boy or girl colours! We're also thinking of converting the loft above the garage (probably for DS1 to go into) but that won't be ready till after DC3 is born.

or leave nursery boring yellow till DC3 is maybe 2 then change it to more boyish or girly colours....

DC3 will be in with us for a while anyway- any of your considering a bedside crib- one of those ones that attaches to the bed? www.nctshop.co.uk/NCT-Bednest-Bedside-Crib/productinfo/4364/

really tempted- there's a few different makes on the NCT website- you can hire the first one out for £99 for 6 months. I thought it'd be good value as a moses cot only lasts around 2-3 months if that, this would last up to 7-8 months if need be then I wouldn't have to kick DC2 out of his cot so soon....

damn just missed bidding on a skirt on ebay! Anyone seen any cotton lightweight maternity skirts anywhere?? preferably knee length.

Mumoftwo I was thinking about a bednest, DD would only sleep in her moses basket for about 5 months, even though she's small she was still filling it end to end!

I'm toying with the idea of getting a gulliver cot from ikea and fixing it to the bed to use as a cosleeper, was just doing a bit of research and theres a couple of threads here about the very same thing today!

Might be a bit of a squeeze though, will have to get the tape measure out later.

Had my first meltdown since being pregnant yesterday, I'm off this week and was really looking forward to it but somehow managed to do enough housework for my back and feet to be absolutely killing me but not enough to stop the place looking like a complete shit tip!

After I had spent ages chasing around after DD and doing bath and pyjamas she announced she wanted her dad to put her to bed by shouting at me 'I don't want you!' Normally I would be happy to get out of the story reading but I just lost it and ran off to bed in floods of tears

Hopefully the change in weather will improve my mood, don't think DP would be too impressed with 4 more months of this!