Due in July 2013 - newborns to the left of me, big bumps to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you babe!

[SlouchingPanda]

Hello shiny new thread!

Mrsd hope you're ok. I have lost track but did you have a section? If so I can understand the cabin fever feeling. You want to be back to normal but physically you're not up to it, and its made all the harder with older ones to look after. I'm 5 weeks post section now and only just beginning to see the light at end of tunnel. I too have problems with my scar- not infected but lumpy, tender and painful still. I also had pnd after my son (but not after daughter), so I have that at the forefront of my mind too as I've been feeling very down and worried that I don't feel the same about F as I did with the other 2. Though my husband says that I said I felt this last time too. I think speak to health visitor just to make them aware. If they are good they are probably already on it!

Hope you feel bit better soon. You've just had a baby so give it time!

Totally - hugs. If it helps any ds2 has decided he prefers our nanny to me as she's not sleep deprived and grumpy and gets to do fun things with him I've come up with and paid for while I'm stuck with j, the incredible nocturnal baby, trying to
get him to reverse his body clock somehow. Love he's having fun and loves our nanny - hate how its making me feel like second class mummy though.

Thanks for well wishes for ds2 - he seems better today. Am crossing everything that j doesn't get it. Had the crappest night last night in a long line of crap nights with j and feel like well crap today - suspect another j illness would finish me off entirely. Might be - hope dc1 gets better soon and dc2 doesn't get the illness.

To all those struggling with the blues, I'm sending hugs and virtual chocolates. The advice above is spot on - let people know how you feel so they can help you. And always feel free to post on here how you feel - we are here to support in good times and bad.

Dinky I think you are just the sort of the mummy we aspire to be, so no need to feel best at all! You know how fickle men can be . Hope you get more sleep later. Our children don't do sleeping and its hell. Think I last had a proper sleep circa may 2007. There's a good reason they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture !

Thanks for the supportive words folks. My hv is coming on Monday to introduce herself so I will weigh her up! She isn't the same as DSs and I think I may very well request a transfer as I know where I stand with the other and like how she goes about things. She was excellent when I was wobbly before. That said, they have a bit of a thing about professional women struggling into motherhood. I was told I was more likely to have unrealistic expectations and to have read too much! Hmmm! I do like my GP though so will see her if needs be.

I am very lucky in that DH is a diamond. We had a chat through my sobbing today and he told me he's been waiting for this! He said some very nice things which I now need to let myself believe!!!

I had some counselling after the molar last year and we looked a lot at my anxiety. I think I will dig my stuff out and have a read through.

Thanks again ladies. Have a feeling this may be a bit of a roller coaster. Was hoping that once the elcs had happened and she was feeding ok that I would be home free. I obviously need to give myself a bit more time.

Hugs to those with wobbles of their own.

Mrsd my HV first time was also fab. She said that if I had standards I should drop them. Then drop them some more. Things may not be perfect (as I expect them to be in my head, or in books) but they will be 'good enough'. It's taken me nearly six years and three children to realise she was right!

dinky im so sorry youre having a tough time at the moment, you honestly sound like super mum so please dont let it get you down too much! Your boys will always love you, and new babies aren't easy on anyone!

mrsd i hope you get the support you need, I know the other day when i felt like i was suffocating MN and my partner were absolute life savers! I would still be feeling like there was no hope without them im sure!

I think we're making the decision to just ff baby now. I was desperate to bf and if i knew then what i know now im sure i could've done it but i think its been too up and down my milk supply is decreasing and its causing unnecessary stress. I just dont know if im making the right decision i feel like im taking the easy route and after having a cesarean when i was determined to deliver naturally i know none of it is easy it just feels like i fail at every aspect at the moment!

Icing having spent the whole day on MN being a wobbly critter, feel free to ignore my opinion... However, like I said this morning your birth sounds uncannily similar to my first. He was an average size but a hungry boy and there was no way that after a ridiculously long labour, emcs and massive blood loss that I was going to have enough for him past a certain stage. So I combined fed for 7 weeks. I totally hated bf so expressed instead. I gave breast milk to him first every feed, followed by a formula bottle. He thrived as soon as that began and all the hcps left us alone.

I felt horribly guilty as like you, wanted to do it all "properly" but sometimes stuff is out of your control. Follow your gut.

(Look at me! Need to take my own ruddy advice!!!)

Just checking in to send hugs and sympathy to those of you having a tough time with feeding, sleeping, missing older kids etc.

If having B has taught me anything so far, it's just how much baby's temperament (and any other issues eg reflux etc) dictates these early days. We had such a tough time with DS and however much people told me it wasn't my fault, it's only with the arrival of a super-chilled baby this time that Iactually believe them! It really is just luck of the drawer (and all swings & roundabouts too - some of the "easiest" babies from DS's NCT group are now nightmare toddlers, and vice versa!).

Sending loads of virtual tea, coffee and wine.

Argh, typos all over the place!

Icing - I don't think you're really 'making the decision to FF' - it's being made for you! Whilst BF is great when it goes smoothly, the most important thing is that your baby is fed and the two of you are happy. Sometimes we get a choice and sometimes circumstances dictate the finer details, such as BF v FF. Just like giving birth - in the end, the method of delivery isn't really important and it's not as simple as just deciding how you want to do it in advance.

Mrsd - sorry you're having a bit of a wobbly time, but it sounds like you have a very supportive & clued-in DH and you know how to access help early on. Give yourself a break & listen to your DH.

Icing huge hugs re the feeding. If it helps at all I had massive feeding issues with dc1. I was do desperate to bf I battled on and on with the feeding, expressing, formula top ups. It was a nightmare and made me miserable, but it's only in hindsight that I can see that clearly and see that I should have given up long before I did and concentrated on enjoying my gorgeous baby. In fact, I think it's only having dc2 now, without (though wood as it's still early days) the same issues, that I realise how much I let my dogged pursuit of bf spoil those early months. I think in taking the decision to move to ff you are being very clear-headed, brave and sensible and having been there myself I hope and believe you will ultimately feel happier for it. Huge hugs x

Dinky I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Fingers and toes crossed that things will turn a corner for you very soon and they will be no more illness.

Dd is still poorly with croup and I'm a bit worried this morning that I'm going down with the virus really don't want DS to get it as it would probably mean hospitalisation and horrid times for a newborn

Hugs Icing, Mrsd and Shelley - hope things start feeling about brighter for you all today. Icing - I totally agree with everything Totally said. Its easy to have all these ideas of birth and early parenthood in your head but sometimes babies, life and nature have very different ideas. You need to so what works for you and your family x

Might be - oh no, really hope you don't get ill and dd gets better today.

Another night of being up every hour with J - my clockwork baby. Ho him. Thanks for the sympathy - am hoping its just the tiredness making me feel this way..

I sympathise with all mummies suffering from tiredness!!

After leaving hospital we had a great 1st night home...we both got 6 hrs of sleep albeit in 2 3hr stretches..felt great!

Had A's TT corrected yesterday morning (day 4), so wanted to try to make the switch to exclusive bfing...LC thinks I have plenty of milk to do so. After a bit if a boob marathon in the afternoon & retreating to bed with A..it looked like we were making progress as at tea time last night. I did give get a bit if formula at 11 to give me a decent stint at sleeping. Then was up from 2.30-6 with A on the boob, expressing (got sod all from that!)...lots of nappy changes & madam being part of the wide awake club! Inefficient gave her a bottle again at 5.30 which she guzzled...finalky dozed off at 7 (10 mins suckling boob) & woke at 9..she's still only doing 10 mins here & there & then snoozing.

DH flew back home to Glasgow yesterday afternoon (he's flying back home now) for a surprise party for his mum...but I'm thinking we'll prob give formula at night or still mix feed....my nipples are still in agony from trying to feed ore snip (o have some survival gauze to apply to help them heal..

But hats off to you mummies exclusively bfing...no idea how you're coping & I'm only on day 1...

Looking forward to seeing DH & hopefully catching up on some sleep!

Survival gauze=special gauze...tiredness typos

Hi all. Thanks for yet more support since I last checked in. Don't feel as desperate as yesterday. Think I am going to give up popping L on the boob so regularly and just express instead. I think I have engorgement and the poor kid was floundering around at 4.30 and couldn't latch. Milk was leaking. Not nice. Nips feel a bit like they've lost their traction! Can that happen?!

DH taken DS to family lunch. We've not gone for various reasons. Nice to have some peace and quiet but feel guilty. Huge sympathies to those going through older child concerns.

Hello all,

Just a quick update. Will catch up later.

Baby Jotham was born this morning at 6:46. He weighed 4.08kgs (someone please help me convert it to ibs). It all happened so quick. Onset of labour was at 4:15am. Was scared of pushing otherwise baby would have arrived sooner. Used gas and air. Got a tear so I will need some advice from you regarding care of stitches as its the first time I have had a tear.

Thanks all for the best wishes.

8lb 15.8oz if i worked it out right silver A was 4kg exactly and 8lb 13oz so worked it from that

Thank you everyone for your support, does anyone have any advice for when stopping bf so i dont get sore boobs? I've been expressin just until they're not solid today, dont know if thats the right way to do it?

mrsd enjoy time to relax, sometimes its all you need

Yaaaaay! Congratulations Silver! Well done you. Are we still waiting for WaitingForWombat ? Or is that it for the regular posters now?

Re stitches care, drink loads of water to help keep your wee dilute and your stools soft. Ideally shower the area after going to the toilet (but frankly not easy with a newborn) and leave to air dry (again, not easy when coping with post-birth bleeding). Regular pain relief for at least a week (paracetamol and ibuprofen were what I had). Sit on nice soft cushions; if very sore you can buy valley cushions/haemorrhoid cushions to sit on . I bought a hot/cold pad from Boots which went in the fridge and provided good relief. Also lavender oil in a shallow bath was good... am sure others have different tips too. And most importantly - once you can start to feel things down there and it's not too sore pelvic floor exercises!

Sorry I haven't posted much. Junior Panda is an easy baby (I think - not much to compare to!) but everything still takes a million years, I'm still crazy hormonal with much weeping and I'm still wondering if we've done the right thing too late now !

Icing please do not beat yourself up about having needed a section. Some babies just aren't destined to come out vaginally, and it's not "your fault" at all. Likewise re. feeding - if your baby is fed and cherished you are doing brilliantly.

Dinky an hourly clockwork baby sounds utterly draining. Thinking of you, and everyone else finding things tricky at times so everyone, then!

Oh ladies I never anticipated how difficult it would be to keep up with the thread with a newborn, I am so sorry for neglecting you all! M is doing fabulously & today we dealt with our first explosive poonami, all up her back & out the sides of her nappy, also a leaky wee too, it was horrendous, had to get OH to help contain the situation although he did just stand over us laughing.

Sending hugs, cake & plenty of tea to those with feeding/sleep/general baby or self issues, looking after a baby is often easier said than done.

I promise I will keep up now!

Congratulations Silver enjoy your new born snuggles.

Hugs to everyone having a hard time at the moment, gosh it's hard work isn't it? I'm so grateful that L is such a chilled out babe and is really v easy now we have figured out a routine (cluster feeds for three hours in morning and again in early evening then every three hours rest of the time) I'm still exhausted though so lots of sympathy to Dinky and others with nocturnal babies. I having a hard time with my husband however, we are arguing constantly and I'm in tears every five minutes. DD is finding it all v hard to cope with which is making me feel even worse. Her behaviour has plummeted and I'm having to reprimand her all the time which is also making things worse. I'm trying to stay calm and just using time out/ naughty chair and explaining things to her but I'm finding it really draining. UH (useless husband) isn't helping out at all, with anything, I feel like a struggling single mum

Sorry for the winge, just need to get it off my chest because I feel like I'm heading for a meltdown.

MightBe - I hope DD has improved today and you & DS are lurgy-free.

dinky - keeping my fingers crossed that J learns to sleep at night soon.

Granny - I like survival gauze. It seems appropriate

Mrsd - don't feel guilt about enjoying the peace and a chance for a (relative!) break. It's important for you & L to get some peace!

Congratulations, Silver! I hope the tear heals quickly. I think Slouching has covered everything.

Phie - congratulations on surviving your first poonami! You have to laugh really.

Sorry things aren't going well with 'D'H, Sunday. I hope he improves. Maybe he should have a go on the naughty step?

Congrats Silver - lovely name and sounds like a v swift birth. Slouching had great advice on tears - I also recommend arnica and vit e supplements to speed healing.

Sunday - big hugs. Sounds like things are bring tough right now but will settle down. Get not so dh to look after baby and spend some extra time with Dd if poss - she's probably acting up due to feeling unsettled.

Granny - hugs to you too. First few days of ebf are tough and A is having to relearn how to latch. She will get there though. She'll be feeding loads to get her latch right - if you can baby moon with her for a couple of days, use your special gauze lansinoh and air those nipples lots it should hopefully pass soon. Hope dh is home soon. My dh is off to Scotland tomorrow for work for a couple of days - must be the season for it.

My DH is also off to Scotland next week with work... what are they all doing up there!? Highly suspicious if you ask me ...

hi. I agree phie it's hard to keep up I read the posts but struggling to type one handed!. mrsd yes, I find if my boobs are too full then they can't latch but sometimes the milk that drips causes a slippery nipple (but not the sambuca type) so I pump a little out before feeding. also helping to keep mastitis from returning.
I'm like united dairy

re cabin fever: I find it helps to give dh J for 20min when I do something normal like a supermarket run just to get out of the house, otherwise you can feel like a walking boob.

dinky don't let the nanny thing get you down. you sound like you're doing wonderfully for your boys. hope J sleeps better tonight.

re: formula feeding sorry can't remember who said it but thought that whoever said the most important thing was that our children were fed and cherished sounds spot on.