August 2013 - Part 4 - Half way there already!

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Old thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1678178-August-2013-Part-3-Adventures-in-the-second-trimester

Stats thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1655004-Due-August-2013-Stats-Thread

And BabyH if you are signed off 4 weeks before EDD then work can make you start mat leave so your planned dates should be ok. Sorry you are suffering with anxiety

Got to get blood pressure checked tomorrow, not looking forward to that!

Forgot to say 22+3

interesting Chuck, all the guides I've looked at still stating the Sunday thing.

I just won some cloth nappies on ebay, so excited!! (LL bamboo size 1s for any clothies here) first time using re-useables but have childminded a baby with them, so only know about them from the changing position, not the having to wash and dry them position!! Anyone else going to use cloth nappies?

Thanks Chuck. That is what i had understood but its nice to Have it confirmed!

Anxiety is a b*tch!!! And not aided by work as they are not very understanding or supportive. Its making ot worse as i am struggling to feel like a mum to be. Sorry to anyone ttc etc but i just feel ao detached. It like its happening to someone else and i am just along for the ride. I am terrified with my history that it will develop into pnd when the baby comes along. i have spent the 11 week i have know i was pg worrying about how everyone else feels/will react...dp, his ds &dd, my parents, his parents, my bf who is desperately ttc and failing (we weren't thing and was told 17 yrs ago i don't produce viable eggs), work, my ex husband. When i try and focus on me i cry cos i just feel numb. I put it down to shock at first but now i am scared it more iykwim.

As for nappies...i have zero experience with reusable...how easy are they to use?

They do tend to use Sunday still as your MATB1 will state the Sunday of the week baby is due. I think this guide explains it quite well and also confirms mat leave/pay can start on any day. They do
Like to confuse us though (like any govt benefit in my opinion!)

www.dwp.gov.uk/publications/specialist-guides/technical-guidance/ni17a-a-guide-to-maternity/statutory-maternity-pay-smp/

That prenogolgy website is great!!! I'm going on ml at 36w which is 2nd aug for me. 17 w to go!! Minus holiday - 1 week in April and a fortnight may/June
And prob some more too.

Had 2nd apt with osteopath today. Took me 15 mins to decide which knickers to wear!!

What's your EDD then Woofers? You sound like you could be one of the last with me :) My scan isn't until 18th April!

Ruck I'm pretty sure you don't need to tell your employer straight away when you plan to return as long as you give them 28 days notice once you have decided? I'm sure Chuck will be able to set me straight if I'm wrong.

I'm going off on 5th Aug (a Monday) until the beginning of June 2014 - 9 months ML and 4 week holidays, so 10 months in total which is basically what I had last time.

BabyH If you find the anxiety is getting on top of you please speak to someone about it. I felt a lot like you described in my first pregnancy and did go on to have PND afterwards but I was majorly in denial and so never got a diagnosis until DD was 1 and I was back at work. I'll have no qualms about going to the GP straight away if the same happens this time around as I wish I'd gotten it seen to sooner but felt really ashamed like I had no reason to be depressed about anything. It was pretty horrible.

You don't have to tell your employer when you plan to come back. They have to assume you are taking the full year and u have to give them 8 weeks notice of your return!

Thanks mrsw i will. I am leaving it til i have my scan next week to see if finding out the flavour help at all and then am off to mw and Dr for help.

I feel like much a fool. I have always wanted to be a mum and have spent yrs mourning that i wouldn't be and now i am gonna be one i don't feel a Damn thing

thanks chuck and mrs I didn't realise that. company is quite small so I think i'll give them an informal idea of my plans.
so, had my 20wk scan yesterday, this morning my belly feels really bruised. I didn't realise she'd pushed that hard but it's bloody sore this morning. anyone else have this?
anyone up to anything exciting today? I'm off on a good Friday pilgrimage soon, really hope the weather holds. .

Babyh - are you consultant led at the min? Will you see someone at you scan?

I'm consultant led because of severe depression a few years ago and I still take meds. They offered me 1-2-1 support if I needed it and they have a consultant who has a specialist interest in ant and post natal depression.

I feel the same as you - I have no 'link' to this baby,and I have spoken to my wonderful gp about it. I see her monthly. She says maybe once it starts kicking 50 shades out of me il feel different.

On bad days I resent it from preventing me from riding, training for a triathlon, feeling sick, back pain etc. however I also hate work so the thought of 6 mths off is fabulous. I realise some ppl may see me as selfish / immature / ungrateful - but I'm walking in these shoes so I feel like this. I hope that makes sense. Your not alone.

Talk to someone in rl who you trust. Thinking of you

Hi woofers yeah am consultant led and Ty for sharing...i was starting to think i was only one!! Should see someone i hope!

I don't feel resentful i just don't feel anything. I dunno why.

I'm struggling a bit to bond with the baby I have to admit. I tried so hard to get pregnant with my exH for 5 long years of nothing, referred for IVF and the whole shebang - then new partner (of a year at that point) and last year I got pregnant without trying, MAHOOSIVE shock, was just getting over that shock and started to feel excited when we lost it :( then of course the early days with this one were full of stress and doubt and I couldn't relax, so yes I understand the feelings all too well.

Foof I've got my nappies from cloth nappy tree. Got some xs bamboo sandies, bimbles and diddy diapers as they are recommended as the best 2 parter newborn nappy. Then I saw a load of teeny fits for sale (tiny, Velcro all in ones) so got them too. Thy are adorable, and so trim! I've also got 2 little joey all in ones that have a snap down for umbilical too, they are so small. I'm going to sell on some of the bimbles and diddy diapers if your interested.

Don't feel foolish BabyH your feelings are not uncommon for a lot of women.
I totally get the 'feeling nothing' thing. I tried for a year before I fell pg with DD and I expected to be over the moon when I finally did but I didn't. At. All! Hated being pg up until about 25/30 weeks and then loved it!! I'm weird! But then same again once she was born, took me a good few weeks before I felt I bonded properly with her so don't feel upset if you are the same, not everyone immediately gets the overwhelming rush of love thing going on.
It's tough going this pregnancy malarkey sometimes :)

Sorry to hear about your earlier mc foof

So it's wedding venue viewing today!! I'm now slightly dreading it as I'm only going to have had about 2 hours sleep before we go! But still kind of excited at the same time AND a few hours away with no kids! Yay!! :)

Thanks mrsw. Had a long chat with a rl friend yesterday and has put a few things into perspective. Am gonna talk to hospital on Friday when i go for my scan. DP is being amazing. Keeps telling me i will be fine, we will get through this together. Considering he always said he didn't want another child he has been adamant from day 1 that we are having this baby and he is excited. Still struggle to believe it but am questioning everything at the moment!!

Knowing other people have gone through it is a real help so thank you Xxx

Woofers - i get the whole horse ridding thing as it was horrible not being able to ride.

Bonding isnt something that just clicks on. Its normally when you feel them kick and you dont feel them for a day you realise just how much u want them. Thats how i bonded with elle. It takes time to adjust to all the change and the amount of things you have to adjust in your life. Everytime you feel unbonded think about what life gonna be like when they are here

I couldnt live without dd now. Shes my right arm, in 15 months i havent spent one night away from her. Shes been by my side since she was born. If i have to an appt and get someone to have her, it feels like someone is torturing me. So the bond does come, dont panic xx

mrs have a great time wedding venue viewing. it's so exciting don't be put off by the first price they give you if you have a close budget. my dad got 40% off the first quote at our hotel just with a bit of hard nosed negotiation.

I'm being a bit irrational today. the scan pictures we got on Thursday are awful. baby was just not co-operating. I know it shouldn't matter as it's healthy but it's upset me a bit that I don't have any pictures to look at. please tell me to stop being so silly.

Oh my 12 week scan photos were awful....the stenographer keep saying 'oh your pictures are crap! '
Other people at work had clear faces, noses, baby sucking thumb...mine look a but like a bit potato which is all blurry....still love them though! !

My one and only scan pic from DC2 is shit, he was so far on when I got a scan that they couldn't fit him on,(didn't find out til V late!) so it's a kind of split screen of a bit of his face, and then a foot. Nobody but me can see what it is :(

I'm fully prepared for not so clear pics at scan next week as am a bit fat and it does make a difference to the clarity esp with older scanners, not so much with newer ones.

Dave, I may possibly be interested am addicted to looking for cute fluff now

Ruck I didn't get any scan pics with DD because like foof was too far gone for a decent shot. You won't give a shiny poo when you're getting kicked in the ribs every day and later have photos of an actual baby!

I know it seems kinda important now though because they're one of the very few things you have but it passes very quickly.

Good excuse to go and get a private peek a bit later on maybe Ruck

I know in the grand scheme of things it won't matter, but since when have first time pregnant women been known for rational thought?! I mentioned a private scan to dh who thinks I'm going mad and he said no to spending 100pounds on it.

I skipped irrational behaviour first time round, I was far too laid back for my own good actually.
I'm making up for it this time! I actually asked a restaurant to make sure the Gorgonzola on my pizza was cooked properly last weekend I have handed over all hoovering to DP already (he is aghast at how often the living room requires doing) and I'm panicing Ryanair won't believe I'm less than 28wks and refuse to let me fly next month!

Our hospital does 3D scans in the usual ultrasound rooms as 12/20wk scans for £65 but I think the only reason DP has agreed is that it's my birthday at the best time to do it.

Hoovering? Do we not have to Hoover??!!

Hoovering is a bugger if you have SPD. Or PGP.

So is pushing a buggy and carrying a toddler :(