The 3rd Gemini Luxury Bus

[Librarina]

I thought I'd get our shiny new thread started, welcome.
Previos Thread

I also thought I'd include our little round up of who is having what, when...feel free to update, there's only a few of us so we shouldn't end up drowning in Stats!

kittykats : girl
JoJo: boy
Bringon: girl
Frust: boy
Blending: one of each
Lib: surprise - 1st baby - EDD June 7th
Lor: surprise (for now!)
Ohtheplaces: girl - 1st baby - EDD June 5th
Peardrop: boy

And by great I mean your explanation about the fact it might need to be him telling you what to do x

I think I might have built up the NCT class to be a bit of a watershed moment though too - like a light would suddenly go on in his head and he'd just 'get it'. So when his reaction was so bad, it upset me more than it probably should've done. I just wish he'd been a bit more open-minded about it. It just felt so disrespectful to me to keep saying it was all bullshit.

He won't have thought it was disrespectful to you I'm sure. just that it wasn't something he believed in, we are probably all abit guilty of jumping straight to our own assumptions of what is normal or hippy or not the norm but it is important that he takes into account what is important to you as it's going to be your journey that you will need support in, I think not to condone him men just arnt wired the same way as us in respect to child birth etc and I don't think they see easily what part they play or how them doing it would help. Alot is probably mixed with a " I don't want to look stupid " attitude I think so try not to take it personally, I'm sure he will be gutted he's upset you so much, atleast you have time to address it now and him redeem himself before the birth, if it makes you feel better if I said to my dh now I wanted say a home birth and him in the water supporting me etc he'd probably freak out and say something stupid but more out of shock and maybe fear himself would he be up to the job etc and he's more of the sentimental/ sensitive one of the 2 of us

He will be gutted he upset me alright. I know he'll pull it together in time. Just feeling a bit over-tired and emotional I think.

Good to get the rant part done here though, so that the actual conversation we have will be much calmer and more constructive! It's great to be able to sort through my thoughts a bit. Thanks for listening and feeding back

I'm so sorry it didn't go the way you'd hoped. He probably was feeling really self-conscious about the whole thing while being in a public space (my DH is very hippy and he even isn't into that sort of thing in a group setting {to be fair, I'm not either}). But, hopefully YOU have been able to walk away from the course with some pointers on different breathing techniques that you can use during labor. As much as we want our partners to be fully engrossed in us, being supportive and attentive, so much of labor and birth is ours. We are the ones who need to do the work, we are the ones who need to surrender in order for labor to work efficiently and we're the ones who are in control of our thoughts, actions, and coping techniques (like controlled breathing!). I think just simply letting him know that it really upset you and it how his body language, tenseness, and negative energy affected you at the class CAN very well translate to labor and how it makes you feel while you're coping with contractions.... so he needs to figure out a way to sort out his own emotions about what is going on so that he can be supportive in the way that you need him to be.

Well done Lor on getting the rant out here. DH was similarly reluctant to explore the 'hippier' side of birthing (how in the world breathing, which is so fundamental to life can be thought of as hippy nonsense I don't know!) Anyway, I was very relieved that he tried his best to embrace it as I know it doesn't come naturally to him. Before the workshop on Sat, he genuinely thought that his only task when I was in labour would be to drive me to the hospital!

Thanks everyone for the support. I think I've been really calm and chilled about everything throughout the whole pregnancy and maybe the overload of info at the NCT class also just made me wobble. There's so much to think about and it was bound to happen eventually. I also don't really have any natural birth role models in my life - everyone's had epidurals. It just feels scary to be thinking of going that route.

I'll get my zen back. Constructive, loving chat with DH tonight. Back to yoga on Weds. Maybe talk a half day on Thursday and have a massage...

Defo a massage Thursday lor make dh pay for it

Well, I've officially lost any last ounce of patience and tolerance that I have. We are on day 5 of 6 of DH being gone and me single-mothering it and I'm so done. My kids have become my worst nightmare, I'm going through a really emotionally draining day where I'm thinking "WTF am I having another child when these two make me want to never be around another child again" I think they are as sick of me as I am of them because it's just a constant battle over everything. The eldest is constantly back-talking and the youngest has taken to peeing his pants again. We have also been home-bound today b/c DH set up an appointment for a technician to come and look at the broken fridge this morning and someone to come and appraise the house this afternoon and as of right now, neither of them have called or come over.

-AND- (you're never going to believe this)

We are expecting another 7 inches of snow by tomorrow morning, and it's just started coming down in ice pellets.

I just give up.

Blummin eck luv you are having a right time of it. Can you book yourself a massage too like Lor for when yr DH comes back so you've something to look forward to?

Also, it does kids no harm at all to be annoy with or fed up of their parents.

The snow howeve I can do nowt about, that's just bobbins.

LOL, I'm just going to sit down and eat millions of (because I don't give a rat's ass about being healthy, eating greens, and avoiding sugar anymore due to my total decline in mood and zest for LIFE in the desolate tundra outside which just looks completely devoid of any type of growth that's supposed to be happening right now).

I think the midwives may hear an earful tomorrow (if I can get there in all the snow) and yes, a massage would be pure BLISS. Thank you for reminding me that I should totally do that when DH gets home!

A quarter to three.
Now that's a whole new low...

Aw lib did you get back to sleep?

Yes. Husband is now evicted to the spare room until baby comes!

I spent last night half in half out of dd2 bed. Ugh. So sore and tired now. MW and HV later.

bring I hope your weather isn't totally horrible for you.

Husband evicted lib ? Is he a snorer?

Oh dear. Rough few days/nights for everyone by the sounds of it. and [tea] and massages all round I think.

Had a great chat with DH last night. His comments about all the breathing stuff weren't that he thought it was bullshit but that he didn't like how she was teaching/explaining it to us so he wasn't really getting it and also that he just feels really uncomfortable doing it in a room like that. Bless him when I got all upset and started crying he cuddled me from behind to try and calm my breathing in time with his.

Anyway, we're back on track and I'm feeling less overwhelmed again which was a major underlying part of the issue really - as a first timer to this I think I just had a moment of fear and panic about the childbirth. I haven't had that at all yet but I think it just hit me and took over for a short while.

We went through some of the handouts we got last night and had a good, funny chat about what our options are and how we'd like it to go. Happy again now.

[tea] should've been obviously

Ooh, I like it! Think they introduced it because of Game Of Thrones (don't know if anyone else is watching but I love it!). There was great action last night.

Also, I was born in the year of the so they're obviously cool.

lore it's St. George's Day today.

Oh bad nights all round! My dh has been on nights the last 2 and must admit to sleeping lots better!
That's great news on the chat with dh lor I thought it might be the whole doing it a room of people that would put him off as I find that kind of thing abit embarrassing aswell!

I can't see the smileys as on phone but you just made me laugh frus,

Yeah Frus I twigged that just after I sent that post. .

In my defence, I'm Irish. I never remember when St. George's Day is.

It's not as well known as st Patrick's day. may be the lack of alcohol
Just seen mw. Bumpys head is still down despite his shifting antics. but measuring 33. So not a huge as I feel.