The 3rd Gemini Luxury Bus

[Librarina]

I thought I'd get our shiny new thread started, welcome.
Previos Thread

I also thought I'd include our little round up of who is having what, when...feel free to update, there's only a few of us so we shouldn't end up drowning in Stats!

kittykats : girl
JoJo: boy
Bringon: girl
Frust: boy
Blending: one of each
Lib: surprise - 1st baby - EDD June 7th
Lor: surprise (for now!)
Ohtheplaces: girl - 1st baby - EDD June 5th
Peardrop: boy

Oh dear kitty. That does not sound fun at all.

Haha, yes Frus mine just jump off of things for the fun of it. We have a mattress on the floor in the basement that they can launch themselves onto (poor man's trampoline).

So far, no snow. Keeping my fingers crossed. Excitement for the day: Two pretty attractive men putting in new windows in my house upstairs though .... and me with a ginormous, attractive, basketball belly.

I'm really sorry, but I'm jealous of yr snow trumpets, we've had barely any this year and I love it when the world is all pretty and white.

I am however laughing at all of your escape artist children. My baby of course won't do anything like that. I will simply calmly and clearly explain that is not appropriate behviour and we don't do that in this house. Then we'll probably sing a song and bake some bread together.

I've had all my carpets cleaned today so now my house smells of fumes, so I'm running away to my mums for Mum Food and a bit of pampering. First aquanatal class tonight, that is if someone doesn't poo in the pool which is why it was cancelled last week.

P.s. am totally getting head butted in the fanjo.

All the world being pretty and white is great in December, NOT the end of APRIL. This is the 6th consecutive month we've had snow on the ground. It's like fucking Narnia out there. Always winter, never Christmas. Just been to the store to buy minimal groceries that won't spoil in the garage and the roads are a nightmare. Yep. It started snowing. I'm running to my bedroom to cry and feel sorry for myself, seriously (husband gone, fridge broken and food going to waste, and now more snow). At least we have new windows to keep us warm in the winter tundra that we seem to have moved to.

Sounds like you have a little hippy in you, Lib with the singing songs and baking bread. Have you seen the movie Wonderlust?

Oh dear things have gotten bad when the word fucking appears before narnia must admit sitting in my conservatory now with just abit of sunshine makes me feel better and I love Xmas and snow too but as you say not in April!
Love libs hippy but very obidient child, please come and explain to my dd as she obviously missed those baking and singing alternatives

I'm feeling very passionate atm, apparently. Sorry for my potty mouth.

Oh lib please put a mattress out to land on when your bubble bursts. you'll have to teach us the obedience song.

Ugh, indigestion, heartburn, trapped wind, B sodding Hs, all at the same time.

Well that was never going to be a good mix. Hello toilet my old friend

Aww Frus, I had that a few weeks ago. Rotten, isn't it?! Hope you feel better soon! Drink plenty & take lots of gaviscon/rennies!

I saw the MW this morning, haven't seen the same one twice so far. She seemed nice enough although was clearly a little put out that DS was v interested in the zip on her bag! It has made me a little concerned about how good an idea it is to have him around during labour - he might be overly interested in the equipment they bring! My bump is measuring 31cm & I'm 33+3 today & was measuring exactly right last time so they're fussing about growth scans. I had this last time so I'm not in the least bit concerned! I'm only 5' & DH is 5'6" so we're not likely to be producing monster babies! It just means I'll get another chance to see DS2 so I'm v excited! Just waiting for the phone call & will try to book it for tomorrow. They might want to do it today but DH has had to go back to work & I'm not doing it without him!

Jojo an extra scan sounds good to me. I'd love to have another one now, although obviously I don't want any reason to have one. If you're happy with your size/growth and are reasonably sure it'll be fine, then it'll be nice to get another peek.
I'm like you though, haven't seen the same midwife twice yet.

I start my NCT classes this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it, firstly to hear all the info and secondly to get DH a bit more involved. He's been super supportive of anything I need, really looking after me, but when it comes to the childbirth bit he's a bit hands-off. He wants to totally support me on the day but he just isn't really interested in all the yoga/breathing etc. I do. I think he thinks it's all a bit hippyish - and I'm really not like that generally. I've practised yoga for a long time though and know the sense of wellbeing I get from it in my life.

I asked him if he was looking forward to the classes and really he's not. He's going because I want him to. He said he thinks it's all going to be totally mother-centric and the men there will just be forgotten about and will be add-ons. I'm hoping it doesn't work out like that. I need the classes to be good and include him (I'm lead to believe they will) so that I can use them as a base for conversations about what I need from him in labour.

rant over

Lor your partner is definitely not alone in attitude regarding childbirth ed classes. I think it will be really good for him to see what the different stages of labor are-what they do-what to expect, what the different interventions are, different ways that he can comfort you, and definitely the basics of breastfeeding and newborn care. Bring lots of questions that you could ask on his behalf too. Most guys are not excited about CBE classes, but say that they're glad they went in the end. I can guarantee you that 80% of the other men in that room will be surly and bored as well until someone else asks that question they've been afraid to admit they have. I hope it goes well for you! Go with an open mind and don't be afraid to process the information they give you and to take or leave beliefs or attitudes about birth or interventions.

Ugh, I hate the fear-inducing attitudes that a small deviation from normal causes. Normal fundal (top of the uterus) growth can be anywhere from +/- 3 cm. You'll probably have a huge growth spurt in the next two weeks. But I'm glad you're not letting it get to you, Jo. Have fun seeing the squishy little guy in there!

So, we got 6 inches of snow. I shoveled last night and still had to pray my car wouldn't get stuck on the way out of the drive way this morning to drop the boys off at school. I had a crying moment yesterday. If I weren't pregnant, that would be embarrassing, but I can just blame it on my hormones.

Thanks bring. I'm definitely looking forward to it regardless. I just want to have loads of information so that on the day I can make informed choices. I've decided not to make a lot of choices in advance. My 'plan' is to use breathing, movement, visualisation techniques as long as I can or feel comfortable. If I feel I want an epidural, I've already given myself permission to have one but it's not my first preference - I just don't want to feel disappointed in myself or anything if I do go that way. Any additional interventions I'll just assess with the midwives and DH on the day, but at least I'll be informed about them!

Can't believe you've so much snow still. I'd be crying too.

Agree with bring Lor men are definatly not into the whole birthing classes but my dh did say he was glad he had gone (to a point) at the last one and learnt stuff but ours was only a day and I did the bf one by myself on a different date.
hope you feel better now frus, luckly the heart burn I had only lasted 2 days now the only thing that makes me feel a bit sicky / heartburney is after my morning cerial?! I thought milk was good for hb?
hope the scan has gone well jojo, I think your right not tobe concerned at this point particulally if it happened last time, its not a huge discrepency I thik different mdwives have different attitudes as the one at the hospital check I had mentioned mine being lower but I told her I have been the whole time for both, my regular mw never bats an eyelid

I have to wait until Monday for the scan! Oh well, it means my mum can come over & look after DS1 & DH can come on an extended lunch-break. It'll involve him getting into work early & being home late but at least he won't need to take time off for it!

My DH seems a lot less interested in the classes this time round. He made the effort to take time off to come last time & made sure he knew what I thought about various things but I offered to arrange a babysitter for DS1 for my final NCT class & he's still not given me an answer so I'm assuming he doesn't want to! Oh well, my main reason for going was to make friends & I'm less likely to do that if he's there for me to hide behind!

No no no. Bumpy seems to have shifted from his favoured position of head down bum up on my right, to lying diagonally. Whatever he's done it is very uncomfortable, and I actually feel bruised when I touch the top of my bump. it must have had something to do with the way I felt last night

6 inches bring!!! I don't think I've seen that much snow in my area.

Oh no frus, lets how he's uncomfortable to and makes that switch sharp ish!!
Jojo I'm not doing classes this time but there's no way dh would come if I did he'd look at me like I was mad

I'm a terrible person! One of my best friends just had a baby girl. Obviously I'm thrilled for her but I can't help feeling really jealous! We were chatting a few days ago about the fact that she didn't know what she was having & we were both saying that it'd be lovely to have 2 boys - she's already got a DS who's a few months older than my DS1 - but we agreed that we'd secretly quite like to do the cute girly things too. I feel like crying because she's going to get to do all those things & I'm probably never going to! Flaming ridiculous hormones!

jojo you are not a terrible person, you are allowed to feel a bit jealous and a bit it doesn't mean you'll love your ds any less. We all have dreams and ideas about what our children are going to be like, and what we will do with them. That's part of human nature. And its okay.

My dd1 with her long down to her bum hair would have been stunning in pretty dresses, and playing tea parties with dolls. Today she's been riding her bmx round with the local boys, playing cops and robbers, in scruffy torn jeans and black t-shirt and hair tied back in a half-hearted plait. She's not the little girl I thought she would be when I was pregnant.

I guess what I'm trying to say is; things rarely turn out the way we plan them, and some things are totally beyond our control. It doesn't stop us wondering what could have been, nor does wondering stop us enjoying what we do have and the different adventures that we'll have along the way.

Couldn't have said it better myself, Frus

I think it's good that you're being honest with yourself about how you're feeling so that you can move forward for when baby does get here. It's just normal to feel envious. You never know, your friend's baby girl may turn out to be a total prissy brat while you're DS is a wonderful, caring, and affectionate sweet little soul (as boys tend to be with their mums!)

Ah Jojo I think we all feel like that if at times if we are honist, I know my dh had dreams of taking out little boy to footy on a Sunday, having kick around a and all the like and mentioned oh well ill have to take nephew however when we went to a play barn the other week,( it's usually just me that goes to those places as he works shifts) it was our dd you couldn't keep out of the older bit with the boys and footy, nephew not interested at all, never has been he loves baking and dancing etc ( personally I love him to bits lol but he is quite feminine) still I think deep down dh would still pick our new dc to be a boy though and I know I have looked at others and been jeleous of what they have!
Much as we will love our lot it's a totally natural reaction to things x

Well that was good timing, after a sunny although not as warm as it could/should be weekend it has just started raining.
Dds are both asleep, packed lunches made, and school uniform ironed. Which never happens so early on a Sunday.
Time for a lush long soak in the bath before a bacon and egg sarnie. Mm mm mmm.

I have bacon and egg sarnie envy. I also have ridiculous pregnancy insomnia, I'm SO bored of 4am! I really thought I'd sleep through tonight as well. I had such a busy but lovely day on Sunday. DH was home from that London and we had a yoga partner workshop for birth preparation, we looked at positions and breathing and (ahem) perineal massage. DH was very good, all supportive and lovely and by the end if it I was really chilled and confident, and he was well reassured as well. If there's anything similar near you I'd recommend it highly.

But now it's nearly 5am, the birds are singing and I've been up for an hour. Golden thread breath has done chuff all to get me back to sleep so I got up and had some cereal. I wake up hungry, too hot and needing a wee, but addressing all of those things doesn't guarantee a return to blissful sleep.

Librarina That workshop sounds fab. My wonderful yoga teacher was doing a partner workshop on Saturday that I'd love to have gone to but i knew until we'd gone to the NCT classes my DH wouldn't be ready for that kind of thing - and also since we had an NCT class all day Sunday, it would've been a lot to do both on the same weekend.

However, the NCT thing didn't quite work out how I'd planned. I'm quite upset about it actually. Massive rant alert

The class in general was really good. We were really enjoying it and dH was getting involved. Then in the afternoon she spent an hour or so on breathing and relaxation techniques. I could see DH visibly tense up and he kept muttering 'this is bullshit' under his breath. He didn't want to do any of it and started getting quite angry that this time was being devoted to it. At one stage she was trying to show our partners how to help us calm our breathing if/when we get stressed - just a simple way for them to sit opposite us, and count breaths for 2, then 3, then 4 etc. for a minute. He just took the piss and his whole body language was 'this is rubbish'. She also had our partners sit against a wall with us between their legs so we could synchronise breathing. I tried to take his hands but they were all clenched up and he wouldn't release them. I think he knew I was getting really pissed off at him.

I'm really upset about it. This was one of the parts of the course I was most looking forward to, so he could see some of what I wanted to do in labour (breathing techniques) and I could use it a base to work on in coming weeks at home. I thought once he'd tried it or had it explained in class he'd be open to it. Apart from anything else, it's not bullshit - it's basic physiology that if you slow your breathing it keeps your heart rate slower and makes you more relaxed and stops you overloading on adrenaline. I've even taught him to use it when really stressed in recent years - he's also seen me use it on every flight we've taken together. Even if it was bullshit, he knows it's important to me and I'm planning on using it. I'm just so disappointed that he couldn't take it seriously for such a short amount of time.

Mostly though, it's sent me into a bit of a panic about my potential birth plan. I had always thought I'd be a 'straight to epidural' type of person but not anymore. I was hoping to use breathing, movement etc. to do it without being hooked up to drips, monitors, catheters and flat on my back - but I was relying on having his help and support. He's so keen to be supportive but I don't feel now that if I'm struggling or my head is spiralling off, that he'll be able to engage with me, breathe with me and bring me back. It's given me a total crisis of confidence.

We didn't talk about it last night - I was too exhausted and I think we both needed time to think about the day - but I will tonight. There'll be tears for sure (I'm barely keeping them in typing this).

Oh lor that sucks I think you are right to have given him a day to not discuss so you can broach it while you are both calmer and have had time to mull it over, he might see it was unfair of him now and be more receptive!
I do think a full day is quite hard going with that type of course I was abit like that myself at the end of ours although we didn't have any of the breathing techniques etc but for some this does seem abit hippy ( not right to dismiss though or impart on others if its the route they want to go down and it's important to them)
I think you sound very focused and sensible though and I'm sure you will get your point across to him and that he will support you with it on the day, if not you will get yourself in the zone and do what you need to do anyway!
Try not to let it worry you as birth is the only thing you can't predict and while we all have an ideal things change very quickly and you have to be able to adapt to what the situation is at that point, your techniques should still be able to help you stay calm and focus with that so will be benificial to you but likewise don't feel that you have failed if you have an epidural etc, I had one and loved it and it enabled me to have the birth I wanted which was calm without intervention and dare I say enjoyable!
Before that I wasn't even aware of who was in the room as my contractions were so erratic all consuming constantly and I was perminantly throwing up- the change was unbelievable and I never felt I was hooked up or confined, infact I felt more like that before as I couldn't even move I was in so much pain. I also had my mum instead of dh as he was on a night and couldn't finish ( chasing a man with a gun!! How's that for a story!) so it really was not what I had expected!
Hopefully he will see he was in the wrong and be more supportive if you have more left to do x

Thanks kitty. Just needed a moan really and someone to tell me I'm not being totally unreasonable.

In terms of an epidural I haven't totally ruled it out. If I feel I need it, I may have it and that's fine. However, so much of the labour is done at home before that, all the breathing etc. will definitely be used as well so I just don't want to have in the back of my mind that DH thinks it's bullshit. He keeps saying 'you tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it' - I don't think he's got his head around the fact that at times I may be totally out of my mind with pain or fear and need him to remind me what to do!

Yes your right and that reminded me, my labour was completely different as I thought waters had broken they wanted me to ring them back and hour later- I had bath did and felt I was getting contractions aswell then they wanted me to come in to be checked and I never left so was all so quick I didn't have chance to think really, labours can last for days at home though so it is best to be prepared for that aswell so you are right to think about it now, totally agree that it's him that will likely need to direct you as everything logical does fly out of your mind while in pain , I remember the anthetist trying to explain to me either the cons or what he was doing and at the time it could have been Swahili! I'd have agreed to him cutting off my leg I think
That's a great way to put it to your dh the more support he can give you particullaly what you want the better the experience will be for both of you, you are definatly not being unreasonable!!