feminist and hanikam I am so sorry to hear your news. Hope you have people to give you lots of support in RL as well as the support you will find here on MN.
I've been poorly again this week. Fainting easing up (I think thanks to the litres of water I am trying to drink each day) but being sick a lot. My children both have slapped cheek (parvovirus?) so I need to get a blood test asap to check my immunity as it can be a problem in pregnancy. Endless worries....
DH and I are arguing like mad today, culminating in him saying he never even wanted a baby! He wanted it, we discussed is, I had the coil removed a month before we moved house and now he says he never thought I would get pregnant?! 
. We are having hideous blended family issues at the moment, and he has point blank refused counselling so I don't really know what the future holds anymore. Mum has been lovely today though. She has even said she will do the lions share of childcare when I go back to work which I wasn't expecting. But she hasn't worked since Dad died last year (they ran a dental surgery together) and with being 62 she has not managed to find anything else. In a way that helps me practically, but I am feeling so gutted about the way DH is talking, and devastated for our baby. I raised my 2 DCs as a lone parent, and now see myself going through the rest of this pg alone, and once again bringing a child into the world with a far from ideal family. I am beyond gutted. DS was planned, but exDH had a serious accident and emotionally withdrew from the world, then became abusive. I found out I was pg with DD the day we got back from a safeguarding meeting about DS following exDH assaulting me, and spent the whole pg on egg shells, and even when I got very sick in the last trimester he refused to come to hospital etc. I really thought that this LO was going to have such a better start, and now I feel like my world has fallen in.
Sorry for the ramble, I just feel very alone, and poorly, and like I have betrayed my baby already. 