Jan 2013 Part 5: Once we pop (on time!), we just won't stop!

[BuntyCollocks]

New thread! I've lost my lovely spreadsheet so if someone can add in the stats and update, that would be wonderful; I'm sure someone else had a spreadsheet that was as anally organised as me

how do they cut off piles?????

Thanks bunty for the optimistic outlook but doctor has just been around, says they won't section til 41 weeks, that's 4 weeks but also says he thinks it would be reasonable to go hone for a few hours on Christmas day - why is that ok but not go home any other time!

Thinking of you pmgkt hope you can manage not to get too bored in hosp. Last time I was in once I'd finally stopped throwing up I was bored out of my mind, I ended up counting shapes on curtains!

I can't go back to see who said it but I also feel like the baby is now taking up all possible room in my body and I am constantly moving around to try and find a comfy position. It's all baby now and I'd quite like to get a move on!

Re the bump sizes I keep getting told i'm neat and a woman I sometimes walk home from school with didn't even realise I was pg this week (33 weeks)! She was really concerned when I slowed my waddle right down as it is all uphill plus I had a bh and asked if I was ok and when I said o it's just the baby she was when i showed her the bump (big coat) and told her I only had 7 weeks left!
It honestly hadn't crossed her mind. I must have looked daft waddling like that

Oh god, pmgkt! that's awful - 41 weeks?! If you we're wanting an elcs they usually section at 39! Why wait until you're overdue, how bizarre! Surely better slightly early so it is 'elective' rather an emcs if labour starts?

Exactly bunty and I will be asking that exact question on Monday when its my consultant, as well as explaining my reasons for requesting a section early on but agreeing to a vbac, and asking if I can still appeal that decision. Also going to query my bonding with this one, and also how having a month in hospital is good for me, baby or ds1. At 2 1/2 he won't understand why mummy has gone away for a month, doesn't do bedtime, or play with him or take him to groups, then I'm going to go home with a new baby, that just going to be a receipe for jealousy and problems. Plus dh will have used up his leave which is meant for after so when we had planned for him to be off to help me recover from a section I will need to cope with 2 kids and 1 that will be pushing all the bounderies cos he doesn't understand why for the last month he has had no routine, been to nannies, and had ice cream and snacks etc and then I won't be able to run after him.

pmgkt how mind numbingly boring for you! I'm bored enough and I'm at home.....
Is anyone else in a strop? I'm fed up and then read the Gina Ford book and had a total meltdown - it appears I'll only have 30 mins per day to myself and how are you supposed to go out and be normal? Or is that it, once baby born you are a prisoner to it? Very stressed and upset now :(

octane put down the book. Now step away from the book. Babies sleep loads in the early days and if you have someone helping you you will probably have more time than you think. Just in short bursts. Please don't worry yourself before baby is here x

I hope you get some answers pmgkt - are there other options, such as going in for daily monitoring? You often find different consultants say different things which is helpful.

octane don't scare yourself with Gina Ford! I think these baby books are targeted as desperate sleep deprived mothers and often just crank out nonsense. With ds1, yes, I was tired, but no life didn't stop. We were out and about doing things all the time.

bunty I know what you mean but it was said with surprise in her voice that I could be due so soon. I guess I'd find it a compliment if I was massive but I've got constant paranoia about being small. Even though if I showed you my bump you'd probably think it was a fair size! I've only put just over a stone on as well which I think is weird as I literally stuff my face every day (e.g have just eaten two massive breadrolls, crisps and a magnum infinity). But, I do carry DD around a lot of each day and I'm on my feet a lot. I guess I must be burning it off cos it's got to go somewhere!

pmgkt I just couldn't imagine that. It'd break my heart to be away from DD. I wonder if they can help you monitor baby whilst you're home instead. If its checking heartbeat, movements and things surely you can do that yourself? How generous of the doctor to say you can be at home on Xmas day! Really hope you get to escape sooner.

octane your life changes, but only in a good way. You are I guess tied to baby, but it's so exciting and you love them so much that you really won't care. It's hard the first few weeks and then you get into a routine of sorts and start to do things for yourself again. I'm not a fan of gina ford though, am anti controlled crying etc but each to their own.

Ps salt I've never had piles (eek shouldn't speak to soon!) but on Embarrassing Bodies they showed them tying something around them to remove. Under general anesthetic I think. I'm still scarred from watching it :)

Ps don't let that put you off having it removed though - on the programme it was an old man with a very hairy arse!!

birdies f**ing hell - tying something around it. i never watch embarassing bodies (well only briefly if there is a willy showing)

Thanks for all your good wishes everyone. :) I'm home now. DH cooked me a lovely cooked breakfast this morning and now he and DD are away to purchase a Christmas tree!

Pmgkt so sorry to hear you're holed up in hospital - know how you feel. So grateful I got to come home without a baby (this time) as I know what you mean about that being traumatic for a toddler. DD coped surprisingly well for three days without me at home - plenty of phone calls helped. RE the hospital food - mine wasn't bad at all, but portions were small! (for PG ladies) Then I realised you literally don't do anything so don't actually need energy, so you probably couldn't manage bigger meals anyway.

Octane Please don't worry about Gina Ford. I too read it when PG with DD and it totally freaked me out. However, after DD was born it wasn't long till I realised the book was utter nonsense (in MY situation - I don't doubt it helps as a very last resort in some situations). I just went with the flow and DD slept loads and I had plenty of time to rest too - helped by DH who fed her expressed milk early every morning. This time round, with 2 DC it may not be quite as easy (ok, definitely won't be) to get that rest, but honestly trust your little one to find their own routine and they will! It may take a number of weeks but you really don't need to follow anything rigid like GF.

If its any consolation my midwife actively encourages new parents to throw away the GF book n find their own Rhythm "you don't need the extra pressure"

mamamary that's great news glad you are home n safe x

pmgkt I'm 100% with you on this, and fully feel you need to do whatever it takes to get them to agree to section at 39 weeks. Tears, tantrums, threats to leave hospital - it's not fair on you, DH, or either of your babies (because I know your toddler will be like mine in your eyes; still your baby!). Absolutely, you should be sectioned earlier. What a disgusting attitude from the hospital - clearly he had no children.

octane gina ford talks shite.

birdies am jealous you can eat like that, and I bet your bump is lovely and bumpalicious!

theboutique your mw sounds really sensible. There is no way of knowing how the first few weeks will be and i personally think it's best to just take each day as it comes. Fwiw I expect to be back to daily school runs pretty quickly, just as long as you remember to feed/change baby first it's surprisingly easy to get out! (or if you want to stay put at home a baby is an excellent excuse not to bother). My point is you will find your own way and what works for you x

I did find gina ford useful as a guide, like how often the baby should feed, sleep and an idea of a structure to your day. That was useful for a first child as I knew nothing. That said I was not religious in following it. I picked what suited and ignored what didn't. And soon found my own happy medium.

pmgkt hope you're managing to survive... Def see if they can monitor you from home though and see if they can section early.

I'm getting in the Xmas mood now - Elf on tv tomorrow and I've see 'The Snowman' Irn Bru advert.

Thanks everyone....I feel a bit better now!

Thanks happy. The annoying thing is they aren't monitoring me in hospital as such. The only thing happening is one bp check a day and they do that to everyone. The doctor comes around and has already told me that all he is going to do is wait, so unless I go into labour, then nothing happens and I need to just suck it up.

That is very annoying... Probably not what you wanted to hear either... I suppose if anything happens, you are in the best place for you and little pmgkt but it still sucks for your home life. I'm sure we can all provide enough stories to keep you entertained for some of your stay at least!!

Organised baby changing at home, tried out breast pump and made sure hospital bags are done

Then had a massive row with DH he's going a bit OCD about the house he's trying to play it cool but it's not working he's under pressure from work to have little or no time off when the baby comes and they keep booking appointments during the time he has pencilled off

No paternity leave so he's using his holiday because they owe him so much time off in lieu/holidays

I know we've got to carry and have the babba's but the attitude to new fathers is disgusting

On a lighter note all my family are getting together today so really looking forward to that

Fairly sure paternity leave is a legal requirement, boutique even if its unpaid.

Boutique if you need your DP to take time off to support you (which I'm sure you will?) then he has a right to 2 weeks paternity leave as long as he has worked for his employer for at least 26 weeks by the 15th week before your due date. He also has to be the biological father of the child and/or your husband or partner. Hope that helps. Loads of info on maternity / paternity leave entitlement here: www.gov.uk/browse/working/time-off

Octane - don't get stressed out about parenting books. But if you are going to read them, don't just read Gina Ford! None of the so called experts have met you, understand your lifestyle, your priorities, your values. They're just promoting one set of rules based on how they think a child should behave and what they think the parent / child dynamic should be. You may not always agree, and that's ok! Read a couple of different books, ask friends and family, look on here for advice then take what's useful and ignore the rest!

Pmgkt sorry to hear that. Have you got lots of books etc to keep you occupied (or whatever it is you like to do to pass the time)?

Well I slept well last night and feeling brighter about things today. What will be will be is my thought today. The doctor came around today and was happier to talk about 39 weeks being good although he isn't my consultant but that is what I was thinking too. My consultant is coming tomorrow so hoping to firm up some plans.