graduates of the wine-and-shagging-after-mc thread come hither!

[wilderumpus]

Seeing as practically all of us have now got pg, here is a new home for all of us to come to carry on chatting after getting the BFP after our mcs. Today we are pregnant! :)

thanks boo

DH is taking tomorrow off so I can lie in and not have to run around after DS. Sounds dramatic to me but he is adamant and we do wonder if I am perhaps being a bit too gung ho and irritating something... and am going to try and beg for a scan so we will be able to go together if he is here.

Have had some worse news this evening actually, our closest friends (DHs best mate and his wife) have just lost their first baby at 11 weeks :( They would have been due at the same time as us, in May. so if we are ok, our baby will be a nightmare for them won't it. I can't see my friend who is due when I would have been with the baby I mc'ed. They were so kind to us when we mc'ed too, actually asked about it and treated it like a proper death. They are completely cut up about it apparently which breaks my heart as they are such stoical people normally.

Oh man, what an evening.

sorry to brain dump. take care of your bumpys ladies :)

How are you today wilde? Hope all is well and you got your lie in. Sorry to hear about your friends, so sad. My cousin had recently had a baby when I mc'd and she was one person who I could talk to, as she had also been through a mc and knew exactly how I felt. Your friends will know that you know that you understand.

Sorry, I should really proof read That last sentence should have been

Your friends will know that you understand what it is like.

Just posting quickly on phone. Glad your DH taking seriously, wild. It's a good idea to take it easy.

Sorry to hear about you friend - that's exactly what happened to my friend (well they had hb at 11 weeks, gone at 12). To be honest it will be hard for her hearing about your pg initially but will make it easier knowing you are a success story, as it were, getting pg after mc. Hopefully after the initial sad feeling she will be excited by the hope your situation offers.

Hope you are feeling ok today & taking things really easy! Xx

Oh wilde - how are you today? What a rubbish day for you yesterday. Please take it easier from now on? Well done, your DH.

hello chums

No bleeding today :) Today I am insanely tired and so grateful that DH is around to take up some all of the slack! sometimes I wonder if when he is around I let myself feel tireder than I can when I have to cope on my own - do you guys find that? AM sure I couldn't parent feeling like this normally?!

Anyway, found a sympathetic gp and have a scan appt on tues... so far away! i was gutted it was so long and felt in limbo again like with the mc :( but then came home and shouted at DH for buying cream cheese and prawns; he asked since when had I taken such offense to these things? and I said 'TODAY!' as if this was completely reasonable. I also cried when he gave me a snickers and at the thought of watching come dine with me and ate a bizarre amount of cheese and bread at lunchtime. so i think these are all good signs that I might, in fact, still be crackers pregnant.

thank you so much for your understanding and sympathy, particularly about our friends. Is so different having had a mc, like, before we would have just said 'oh dear how sad' but now we know how awful and heartbreaking it is and are going to send a card and I will let her know am here if she needs to talk. She is NOT a talker at all and despite having been friends for 12 years we haven't ever really been best mates (seeing as I don't stop talking) but I am insanely fond of her. They are DS's ungodly parents, that's how close we are.

anyways. another essay! man I jibber jabber.

laters all, I have sitting to do!

ps am so sorry to hear about your friends' having had mc's too. bah.

Glad no more spotting wild and yes I know what you mean about having DH around. At the mo I have to rise to the challenge when he is not! He was supposed to be off on Thursday and I was all geared up for some relief and then had to work at the last minute... I was sooooo fed up, had been working towards a rest!

Ha to still being crackers! I think being crackers and pregnant are synonymous, at least in the first 12 weeks!

Hi everyone!

Wild, scary stuff, how are you today? Sorry to read about your friends' mc. Great to read about your move to lovely Cornwall, I can say it's only ever been sunny when I've been that way!

Boo sorry to read about your father, it's so significant, isn't it. I haven't experienced it but my family is full of stories of who was born before or after which family loss.

I've found what Chuckle and others had to say about scan scares helpful. I have a private one booked for Tuesday but am thinking about cancelling it because of the whole "heartbeat at 11 weeks gone at 12" scenario.

Ice adorable DS1 you have!

Sheldonella Love the topics you kick started and all the info gathered here re moses baskets/buggies/clings/nct sales, etc! Anyone ever used the litlle bed by the bed thing, it's like a three sided cot level with your own mattress?

I thought everyone writing about their food habits really funny. I feel very well rested and have not had any weird eating habits all holiday. I have however also started feeling nauseous most days. Supposed to be happy about that but it got in the way of a few good Italian meals!!! But on the way home we stopped for groceries and I bought three packages of M&S fried chicken which I suspect I will polish off by tomorrow afternoon!

hey one good to see you! how was your holiday? was it hot and bueatiful? sorry to hear about nausea, but then again, yay!

all fine here, apart from the fact DH and I have had an almighty row (about sleep and who gets/deserves more, as usual) that started at 8pm last night and continued at 6am this morning. Am fuming and full of hormonal hatred for everything! Am hiding in my study working and ignoring him for EVER

I am so unbelievably tired I couldn't even bring myself to make a cup of tea yesterday and feeling nauseous is so draining... I have to say I prefer the sickyness to the tiredness though. am feeling reet sorry for myself, especially as for some reason I am really not convinced I have a baby in there! Am going nuts, I think. boo hoo hoo.

anyone else felt rather hormonal or just me?!

Poor Wild, that's an awfully long time to argue, how horrible. No wonder you're feeling sorry for yourself what with all the sleeplessness, rowing and pg symptoms. Is the argument over? Can you get some rest today?

And yes, it was hot and beautiful and we are freezing this morning! The food was amazing and the view from our warm and sunny porch where we had breakfast and spent the whole rest of the day sometimes was very nice. It was rural and we live in a city so it was lovely and quiet, just us, dark at night, lovely star gazing. There was an amazing thunder storm one night and we woke up at 3 am to take pics of lightening and have tea and cake. I love the freedom that holiday brings to do random things like that.

I think I don't feel hormonal at all anymore and am putting it down to all the rest, but in reality I am uncharacteristically terrified at the thought of returning to work even though it's not for another week and my job has recently become easier, but I just want to hide and only see nice people. This pg has made me an isolationist, a new term I just made up as I don't like the sound or pg induced agora/social phobia!!!

one that is so funny, I am just the same. When pg i only want to see nice people and watch nice things (have started watching great british bake off as it's gentileness really appeals when normally would find it veer dull!) and eat nice things and not go anywhere weird :) I turn into a right homebody!

nah, we are still arguing . I have been hiding in my study working and weeping hormonally since 7.15! I don't think I can bring myself to talk to him today, maybe a day or two apart will be good! Another of the perils of living with no friends or family nearby, we really rely on each other for company and sometime it gets Too Much and we explode. we are both very stressed too, of course. ah, sweet married life :)

ps: your holiday sounds LUSH! how lovely and relaxing! ours was full of sightseeing, quite the opposite!

Oh, I'm sorry for you. I've been there. Can you make up some agreement that you give each other some psychological space even if you can't get the physical distance? Can you sneak out for cups of tea and nice things to eat? Is there anything good on BBC Iplayer? Is the weather ok? Maybe you could get out with your LO?

And the area we were in was, ahem, a little boring to me at first. But once I admitted that I realised that I had been running at quite a pace and actually was just feeling the loss of busyness - that helped me to sit down and just spend the day reading a crap book and stare at things. One pasttime was watching ants and conducting some non-harmful social experiments on them! And I've learned that actually I enjoy reading crap and feel I can finally start to embrace that part of me start working thorugh the shame that comes from having been the sort of person who was a bit highbrow re the classics and the years of academia.

Did you know airlines might not take pg women after something like 24 weeks? How shocking and disappointing is that!

hehe one never fear, I don't sneak around, I clatter and clang when I leave the cave This is my house too! Am too grumpy to eat tbh. I am mostly hiding so I can avoid having to do all housework and childcare duties and do some work and just chill. Am not very motivated to be a nice little housewife when Dh is being an ungrateful tw*t! DS was doing the 'i don't want to, I don't want to' song at him earlier and it did make me chortle. take that sucker.

In the main he is nice. yes we are giving each other space, am sure we will be fine later!

one I read a trashy mag about the divorce of katie holmes and tom cruise while I was on holiday, and the effect of scientology. wtf. I snuck it into my room from the communal pile of papers outside and devoured it, then told Dh all about it with salacious glee. Normally I loathe that kind of thing! And atm my reading is a)the guardian b) 'of mice and men' and c) 'bodies' by susan orbach I think I need to chill out too!

I do want to read cheryl cole's autobiography though and

let us embrace our inner love of trash and find peace! (to an extent. Please don't make me buy cosmo it makes me want to screeeeeam)

You're quite right Wild, I only meant it in the way of keeping yourselves to yourselves but yes, clatter and clang to your heart's content! You sound more angry now than tearful - hope it's a shift for the better?

I like your current reading regime but it does challenge my new position. I did read glossy mags for the first and only time of my life when I was commuting a lot during the last stages of my doctorate when I no longer had the brain power to actually read and was too strung out to just relax. I'm heading into town in a bit (still on the look out for that elusive bra that will help me sleep!) and might pop into a bookshop and explain what I've read and let them direct me to the wall of shame that is my new home!

I've just realised that I'll have bucket loads of AL to take before mat leave - so I'll get to fulfill my wish to hide away! I'm glad someone else shares that! It's been a weird turn of events. I'm normally in the happy middle between social gadfly and introverted hermit! Honestly, if anyone at work said "boo" to me right now I'd probably faint! Am hoping it's not pg-psychosis but some natural drive to keep the baby safe!

Right. Shopping. I have no energy to do this.

one I wasn't shouting my house rights to you :) rhetorically, to Evil DH am very pissed off but might cry too. We'll see what baby thinks I just hope they go out tbh. I would go out but then what would i do but wander around aimlessly, brood and eventually have to come back again.

wall of shame! hehe! i think that might be why I want to read cheryl cole, just need brain down-time. though 'of mice and men is lovely' and actually I am enjoying reading 'bodies' as I haven't read anything new like that for a while - my thesis lit is all rather staid to me now! Maybe when I am a bit wavery and lacking confidence it is nice to read something firm and unwavering in its stance. especially by a laydey.

it is definitely pg normal to be a homebody I reckon. I LOVE travelling but when am pg I don't want to leave my housey. I had to go to India to complete my research when pg with DS and it was a nightmare when normally I would love it! (which I why I planned it in the first place). And was relieved to come home from Italy and just be In My House With My Stuff and everything is ncie and predictable. 'Nice' is the main word, methinks!

And my friend had to move house when she was about 8 weeks with her family and stay with her FIL and was completely depressed, just wanted her own space and peace. and she is definitely a social butterfly normally. we are all nesting!

Welcome back one glad you had a good holiday. I wish I'd had a relaxing one this year rather than trying it hike in the Peak District. The star gazing sounds lovely :)

Sorry to hear about your arguments wilde. I had a go at my DH this morning for sleeping in longer than me! Glad he is looking after DS and giving you some space. Also glad to hear you have a scan organised. Has the bleeding stayed away? The symptoms and hormonal feelings sound very good.

Ugh I have felt dreadful all weekend with a cold. I usually get over them quickly but this has been brewing since Wednesday and I keep feeling worse. I abandoned DH in the supermarket yesterday to lie down in the car. I just hope I can make it to work tomorrow because I've had far too much time off lately.

I can relate to the wanted to stay at home thing too. I actually felt a bit anxious leaving home to visit my parents last weekend.

Hi Sheldonella, and thanks! I should have done something more energetic on holiday. I just went into town and undressed in front of mirrors that definitely were of the same opinion as well. V depressing. I now wish I'd lost the weight from last time. Still, finally found a brilliant bra. It won't do for out but is very comfy and supportive in the right way without making me feel prepared for a military engagement. Typically, as soon as I headed in I both needed to wee and eat. I picked up a reasonably light bite and then spent the rest of the time uncomfortably bloated and trying to "release" on the sly. So, in summary, I am fat, bloated, farty and wear ugly comfy bras now. My OH is soooo lucky!

So that's three of us wanting more home time, great, I'm normal! Sorry to hear about the cold you can't shake Sheldonella. You can't help it if you can't work. Unwarranted guilt is an evil thing. Look after yourself.

And don't worry Wild, I didn't feel shouted at! It was more that I think I can be a bit timid about the house and not take up all of my alloted space. I liked the reminder of a bolder way of being so I was basically just saying to scratch what I said!

I bought two books. I went into the shop and said the sort of thing I'd read on holiday and was directed to Crime and then was able to narrow it further by saying I didn't want anything with cops and dead prostitutes or descriptions of pain and suffering. Book store poeple are so knowledgeable! I'm still not sure what my new genre is called but am excited!

sheldon don't forget that no-one at work wants your germies so you can have a day off and feel like quite the humanitarian :) is hard shifting stuff when pg cause your immunity is lower isn't it. I hope you feel better soon dearie x

yay for your bra one! I made everyone go for lunch yesterday when in town because I got completely starving almost as soon as we arrived too! hehe. glad you didn't think I was shouting at you :) I am not timid when arguing; I try not to be too shouty unless terribly hormonal like now but do like to be quite ruthless at picking apart stupid arguments. It is exhausting though and ultimately just makes me feel very blue.

let me know how the book goes! i never thought of picking a book store person's brains like that before, although I am very shy so would rather muddle along on me own!

I made a bolognaise as a nod to health and stuff but, er, bleugh.

sheldon no more bleeding at all, thanks, and have the scan on tues but am not going to go I don't think. Am terrified - if the bubs is dead, I don't want to know, if the bubs is alive I don't want to know either! Am not really 'bonding' with it actually, am in denial until 12 weeks when I can start to hope it might stay alive I don't want to have my booking in appt either. In fact I don't want to talk about it at all! My friends' mc has really shaken me up - theirs was there on a scan and at 11 weeks spontaneously mc'ed. A scan is just like a photo isn't it, of that moment. I can look in the mirror and go 'oh! I am alive!' but it can't tell me how long for!

am mardy aren't I.

will be back tommorrow happier and lighter of heart!

"I can look in the mirror and go 'oh! I am alive!' but it can't tell me how long for!" Well said Wild.

welcome back one - sounds like you've had a wonderful break which is always good. V glad to hear about the nausea too iyswim!!

wilde no more bleeding is also great news. As are the symptoms, particularly the hormonal type ones. Still going with those here...DH has said he's going for the snip after this one is born which reduced me to tears for some reason. He just couldn't understand why quote "won't 4 be enough for you". Not sure I do either.

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. Just finished it - was brilliant. I love the kind of book where you learn a bit too, and I have a quietly hidden interest in flowers and their secret messages, and an even quieter romantic (so long as I'm on the receiving end, you understand...) and found this was just my cup of tea. Not a very comfortable novel, as some tricky issues are addressed, but still couldn't put it down.

sheldon if you have a cold, take the day off to try to shift it, otherwise it'll hang round for ages. Not good for you - or anyone else!

Confession: have decided to purchase new changing bag this time round. Have already ordered 2 several actually to see what they are like. Any suggestions?!

aw thanks ice. you guys are so good at showing me the silver lining. I have apologised to DH for being a hormonal twat all day and he gave me a big cuddle and said he will hold my hand at the scan and booking-in. Am lucky he is so forgiving! Sorry to hear about your snip upset. I find that something just clutches at my heart and then I burst into tears, when normally I would just sort of think about it. Instead of a simple rumination it turns into a huge emotive experience! When i am not trying to kill DH I also want to hug a lot of people. Sad people on tele etc. 'eck.

I shall look up that book ice. I have just downloaded one of hilary mantel's about anne boleyn (sp?!) Looks good and has nothing whatsoever to do with my work (apart from the politics bit!). Am so far avoiding cheryl cole. would it be too bad to actually confess that I am going to save cheryl for xmas day when I will have finished uni (I finish on xmas eve then hand in for binding) and let my brain ooze happily out of my ears?! ah to be 20 weeks pg, have no more uni (and so be on maternity leave), be on the settee with cheryl cole nonsense and a selection pack...

ice am hopeless re: changing bags - I just got a lovely big bag for myself that I shove DS's necessaries in!

yay day off for you tomorrow sheldon! MN jury says so!

Thanks Ice, and as I've not got a child yet all this will be new to me - will look up changing bags and look forward to the comments on here! Sorry about your DH's snip comment. Looks like it was the weekend for marital hiccups. Glad to hear the storm has passed in a warm hug and chez Wild! Hope Sheldonella is being snotty snoozy in bed???

Sorry ladies, I'm at work I feel much much better today and want to do some shopping at lunch time
one I've been wishing I'd lost weight from last time too. Well, I did but now the bump is quite obvious I don't mind quite so much :) Glad you found a good bra - I really must do this. I have a couple that are non wired but they aren't great.
ice I've been looking at changing bags. I want a lovely spotty green one but I suppose I should buy something DH doesn't feel silly using too. Do I ned to consider this? I hope not
wilde Glad you made up with DH.
Did anyone watch Downton Abbey last night? I couldn't sleep after seeing at and TV doesn't usually affect me at all!