Hey there
Er... I am not that proud of myself but I basically had a massive "due date meltdown". After three days of really full-on signs everything completely stopped. The ironic thing is I've been telling people throughout the pregnancy that it's very common to go overdue and first time mums typically deliver just after 41 weeks, but for the last few weeks, so many people have been telling me "ooh squid you're so active, bet you'll come early" and I guess I started to believe it. Silly really. Couple that with the fact that my due date was the day so many new babies arrived on this forum - I was just so sad my baby isn't coming and felt like such a failure - I don't know. I was doing so well with the late pregnancy thing till then...
It was a horrible couple of days - weather didn't help - on my due date I went for this really long walk in the pouring rain and just cried for hours. Got home and have caught a cold and my pelvis was hurting. Cried on boyfriend for hours. I had a midwife appointment tuesday which was ok - no problems so I should be more grateful really shouldn't I! Bump hasn't grown in a few weeks but she wasn't worried. (I've lost weight too. And I have no stretch marks or swollen ankles and I'm not bigger anywhere else but bump. (Yet.) And I can walk 5 miles at 40 weeks. And I have no issues or risks with my pregnancy. So much to be grateful for!!!) She started talking about sweeps and inductions and I just - despaired. It's just policy but I so thought this would happen naturally, with how well and healthy I've been... I mean I have quite a bit of time yet - I am booked for my first sweep on tuesday 2nd oct, I'm going to try and get a couple more the week after that and I'm not even considering induction until I'm 42 weeks. Then I had the worst night's sleep ever - went to bed exhausted at 9pm but didn't even get 10 minutes. I called my dad at 5 - he's an early riser - and we had a chat for an hour or so, then I went back to bed till 7 but I didn't sleep then either. Boyfriend was up twice in the night with my crying. I just don't know what's happened to me...
Yesterday was mostly a turnaround though - I managed to get myself a pregnancy massage and burst into tears on the girl when I got there (I know her a bit, I've had 3 or 4 before). She was really supportive and sensible and encouraging and I felt loads better and that the baby will come when ready and it's still very likely to happen naturally. (And it's far more common to be overdue than on time!!) The massage itself was bliss, I drifted off (finally). She also (just for the hell of it) did some "acupressure" points on my feet that are supposed to help induce labour.
This morning I felt absolutely fine until I (god, the timing!) got a text from a girl I barely know from yoga saying her baby had arrived last night - she is due a week after me, so ANOTHER early baby. So I cried again!! Seriously where are all these early babies coming from, it's SOOO much more common to be overdue, this thread seems full of people who've had them too! So so jealous.
I am only 40+2 but I cannot BELIEVE how hard it has been past 39 weeks. I was totally cheery till then!!! Physically I am still fine but emotionally it's horrible. I know the odds are on my side that I will go into labour in the next two weeks at some point but each day is like a year now and I am losing faith my body will do it. People have started suggesting the things to me (sex, walking, raspberry leaf tea, spicy food) that I have been doing daily or near-daily for 2 months now, it's so demoralising.
Had nice day with my brother yesterday (he was off work) and been having coffee and chat with another friend this morning. I have an art exhibition to go to toinight, boyfriend is taking me out for a meal tomorrow, there is a lock-in festival in the pub next door saturday (puppetry and films and barbecue and bands) and I am going to go to the theatre sunday. Hope I don't get to next week - I guess I'll have to make more plans if I do. I haven't had any real pains or contractions since Sunday, though I am passing mucus plug most times I go to the loo.
This has been very long and very self-absorbed, I am so sorry! I have been reading on and off. Very pleased all births have gone well so far and thinking of those who haven't reported in yet. Love you guys, sorry for being a nobber.