March 2013 Mk IV: Knicker-checking; knicker-wetting; knicker-knackered

[tiddleypompom]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1535575-March-2013-Mk-III-Hopefully-the-nausea-will-wear-off-soon

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1499519-March-2013-stats-thread

There you go chick-a-dees

Congrats Tea, so plesaed scan went well, at least we both get another look at bubba before the 2 month wait for the next scan!

I have had a big bowl of yoghurt with a drizzle of golden syrup, calcium cravings ahoy!

Hi all

welcome tea and congrats on the great scan!

chefette sorry about the crap reaction. We had a bit of a mixed reaction with DD, DM said, 'oh I thought you weren't going to have children...' but to be fair she has been a good grandparent since DD arrived. PILs on the other hand were all all happy tears etc when we told them, but since hVe been rather crap and disinterested (have 3 grandsons on their doorstep, whereas we are miles away...) So I guess my advice would be not to worry too much about their reaction. people can be really odd, especially families!!

Whoever was asking about floradix, I found it helped a lot with tiredness and light-headedness but tastes vile!!!

Tea - fab news all round. Hurrah for you guys.

Chinese takeaway here too, followed by baked figs & soya ice cream - yum!

ethel, tastes vile like? I have this feeling it will taste like Venos cough medicine or liquid compost!

We had pasta and I put in lots of extra veg to try and help with the tiredness. We are going to see Lady Gaga Sunday night and I think I'll fall asleep!

Sundae, I'd say the latter, def compost...

Am very very jealous of you going to see Lady Gaga; I really wanted to book tickets but when the tickets were released I had just found out I was pg (one that ended in MMC) and was expecting to be ready to pop by now! Have an amazing time!

tea great news and welcome to the thread!!

I've just returned from the new house having painted the nursery. I'm not doing any more baby organising until I know all is well post surgery, just being cautious really.
Had to laugh walking into the house, we'd asked the builders to leave the toilet plumbed in for as long as possible due to baby booting my bladder on a regular basis, which they HAVE done... Though they have removed all of the bathroom walls and door... Haha! Am I really expected to pee in front of workmen whilst they install my kitchen or build walls around me?!?! Muppets. Very amusing though. There's just a toilet sitting in the corner of my kitchen!

Evening

Since I came home from work this afternoon, I've been left hurt, let down and in a big way.

A bit of background. I am a secretary for 2 heart failure nurses at a city centre hospital, I have been their secretary for over 7 years. The female nurse has been in her job since it's creation and prior to me, had another secretary who I took over from when she went off long term sick and never came back, so the female nurse has remained a constant. The second nurse to begin with, was a lovely woman, she went and we got 2 further female nurses, they left and we now have a second heart failure nurse who is a man. In addition to this, we have had a few admin staff who help come and go. The first was a young, but strong girl. The second was a young and in the nurses words stupid boy. Since he left, we have an older lady, this older lady has been in post for just over 2 months.

I work Wednesday to Friday. On Monday, the female nurse txt me (this is not unusual as we have known each other a long time, live near each other and go to the same gym) and asked why I hadn't rescheduled tomorrow's appointments (6th). I told her I had. She told me she couldn't find any evidence of this on the hospital system. I asked her if she had looked under a certain clinic and she said she had, but there were no appointments on that day. When she sent me the txt, I got the feeling this was coming from the older lady through the female nurse. I backed down and apologised telling the nurse I would put everything right on Wednesday.

I come into work this morning, meaning to check the appointments for Friday, but got bogged down with other work. Towards the end of the afternoon I was finally able to get around to it. When I entered the clinic code and Friday's date, guess what, a screen full of appointments popped up. I txt the female nurse who was doing ward rounds to tell her I had made the appointments and they were on the hospital system. She replied "show older lady tomorrow, she couldn't find them". I replied "I thought this would have something to do with her, I've printed the evidence out". To which the female nurse replied "show her where it was recorded as she couldn't find using the usual codes". I replied "under code on 07/09/12 like I said it would be. If she wants to try and show me up she's going to have to try a little bt harder". The female nurse replied "she did try that code". I replied "not hard enough clearly".

As stated in my txt to the female nurse, I printed out the evidence of the clinic appointments, who made them and when they were made. I especially pointed out the clinic code and the date the appointments were rescheduled. I also added the following note for the older lady:

Older lady, I have been doing this job now, for over 7 years and whilst I'm not perfect I am not stupid either.

It then hit 4.30pm and I had to leave to pick up DS1 and DS2 from nursery.

About 5 minutes after I got home, I got the following txt of the female nurse:

"I'm destroying the message you left on the desk and I suggest you speak to older lady in a much more appropriate manner tomorrow. When someone is new you show them how to do things rather than throw wild accusations at them."

I was going to reply to this, but everytime I went to, I stopped myself as I couldn't think how to phrase what I was feeling. I still don't think I can.

I'm hurt and angry.

After over 7 years I had expected loyalty or at the very least, trust from the female nurse. It became apparent to me when older lady started working for us that she was after my job and in fact she told me her second job was coming to an end in March and she was looking for another one. I did tell her then, that in March (due to maternity leave) I'd be gone and she could have my job.

Any thoughts on how to deal with this, both the nurses will not be in tomorrow, so it'll just be me and the older lady. Should I say anything to her and what?

Sorry, I just needed to get this off my chest. I suppose I should have put this in AIBU...

pipsicles I'm actually planning on going to university after I'm done with the children and training to be a midwife. Well, thats the plan anyway, whether it'll actually happen I don't know.

sundaesundae I have to admit, I have never exercised my pelvic floor muscles. I have it on good authority that I am still tight down there though! Oh and by the way, you're not the last to be scanned, I have my dating scan next Wednesday.

zoeymlucas I'll make up a bunch of party bags and send them your and everyone elses way!

Regarding Pregnacare, yes, I'm another one who takes it.

sarahs999 I'm so sorry, thats a lot to cope with. Fingers crossed for you that the baby is okay and remains so for the next 6ish months.

JoJoBella84 almost 17 weeks, thats not fair, I'm only 11+2

dameflamingo yes, cow in a northern accent, I'm Liverpudlian though I don't sound it. People call me wolley back if you've heard that before. Basically the outer edge of Cheshire/Widnes way - they accuse me of being from.

Oh regarding Mrs Perfect, her and her husband and their two children came home. Within 10 minutes they were out weeding the front garden, flirting and laughing with each other. She of course looked great in a tight fitting, stylish ensemble. Last time before they had her 40th birthday party, he painted the front door red and cleaned the porch. Obviously by Saturday, the place is going to look amazing, only I have a plan...

I'm going to spill a drink (if I'm feeling evil enough and it'll be on her new tiled kitchen floor if I do) and then I'm going to be rather blase about the new decor and when I see the new kitchen I'm going to pull a face and tell her I liked the old one much better, which I did, not that I've seen this one yet. I know it's wrong, but it'll make me feel better and thats the main thing. I might even flirt with her husband - he is very sexy, even with a constant gob on him. I'm sure a blow job or two from me would soon put a smile on his face.

I really am evil aren't I?

Oh another evil act, if she still has something in the oven (that is not a euphamism), whilst not looking, I'm going to turn the oven up to the highest setting, though I'm not sure how you so this on an Arga yet. Actually, I think someone may have done this to her before as the last party (her 40th) had wuite a few burnt offerings. The burnt homemade pizza and tarts were particulary yummy and eaten straight away - NOT. She should stop trying to make her own version of coldslaw too because that was quite frankly nasty.

Well done gummiberryjuice I know both of mine have inherited my freebie disease - you should have seen their faces at The Liverpool Food and Drink Festival.

chefette I know, I feel your pain. Some of the things people have said to me on finding out I was pregnant have been shocking. What's wrong with saying congratulations I'm so happy for you?

Right, I'm off to bed as I'm expecting bunny to wake me up again between 2am and 4am and then keep me awake until it's time to get up, by which time I'll be just falling asleep.

Ok MrsR - my take on this, and I will warn you on advance I'm a pretty pragmatic person who doesn't appreciate drama much at work..

1. older woman may well be being a div, spitefully or otherwise, but your best approach is a calm, considerate and helpful response rather than an accusative one. For instance: " how strange that she can't find. It's under xxx code. I'll check system when I'm in, am sure all is well, perhaps I need to show her again how to use the system."
   This way you look efficient & helpful and you highlight issue is her end not yours. This approach also means if it happens again you can express surprise that she's struggling to pick up the system but you're sure after 3rd time of showing she'll grasp it.

2. the nurse you've worked with for some time may well be a close colleague but she just wants to know everything's working. If she thinks either of you aren't cooperating that makes her job harder. If she's efficient & pragmatic she'll want to nip that in the bud - with both of you. That's not about loyalty it's about work.
   I don't think you should feel betrayed, I think you should just accept that she's the type of person who just gets on with stuff. Perhaps I've read her incorrectly, but if that sounds fair then try not to be too hurt.

I understand why it's got you down and you're miffed. You want them to accept that you did your job and weren't at fault. Which is clearly the case. But if your hospital is anything like the ones I know of via friends and family in that line of work no matter how well you know people there's a pecking order and an almost school yard adherence to it. That attitudes ingrained.

Try hard not to feel too let down and if you have to play politics with this woman, play smarter.

Don't worry theTramp I've been given a right talking to on the AIBU thread.

The general consencous (I know, for a secretary my spelling is appalling) is YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

You've hit the nail on the head with that last part. I need to learn how to play this womans game smartly, unfortunately I'm very much a feelings person and don't think, just react.

Thank you theTramp thats a much kinder post than I've been getting on AIBU I find myself listening to it and trying to take what you've said on board.

Wotcha.
mrsrigby it's exciting to hear youre feeling the baby already (though not so you'd be kept awake)! I am 'listening' out but nothing to date. In fact I am in a familiar dip in symptoms at 15 wks - v similar to last time.
Ref: work scenario - what tramp said though I do sympathise.
Ref: Mrs Perfect - don't let her apparent perfectness get to you! She has invited you to a party; enjoy it! She ain't the best cook? Then she ain't perfect. Be a friend & she may be one back :)
Just my thoughts - if you can't control the evil, then at least take video footage.
DH got up at 4.30 this morn to start a 5 hour drive to a meeting in Kent. He will then come all the way back this afternoon. Utter madness. Hoping for another sunny day so DS and I can spend it outdoors, though how do you stop a almost-toddler eating mud? Great handfuls of it. Gravel too, if I don't get there first (though he doesn't swallow it).
Happy days all.

Finding everything difficult today.

Hate everyone commenting on my appearance, hate worrying if my bump is too big or small.

Feel so sad.

Ugh, my symptoms are back. I now feel nauseous in the evening until I go to bed and feel tired all afternoon. When will the night weeing end?? Where is it coming from? I think my body has the ability to multiply fluids as I'm sure I don't drink that much!

Complaining over, I feel better now :)

My knitting is coming along very well. I'm almost half way through the cardigan and have finished one cute little bootie. I can't tell if it is too small though. Babies are small, right? :)

I'm so looking forward to this week being over as DH and I have booked a couple of days away in the peak district next week. I have realised I'm unlikely to do much hiking but I need to see some beautiful scenery. I did feel a little sad yesterday when I was organising it and realised I'm not up to hill walking anymore.

sarah sorry you have been feeling down. The sky lantern sounds lovely. Sorry about your mum.

Sorry to hear about peoples reactions to your announcements chef. People sometimes don't think do they.

jojo laughing at your kitchen toilet! We had similar when we replaced our bathroom earlier this year - only place to wash was standing up in open plan kitchen. Still, all part of the fun!

Oops, need to get ready for work so sorry to miss everyone else. Have a non sick, non stressful, happy bumpy day

Turkish - your body is changing, it's bound to feel weird. Just remember you're growing a new human in there & you're going about daily life - pretty damn fantastic if you think about it. Try not to get down. Why not treat yourself to something small today- a pedicure or a hair treatment, or some really nice bubble bath? Something that's all about you.

I too am away at weekend & v much looking forward to it, although whilst Londonis forecast sunshine Belfast, surprise surprise, it's cold & wet. It'll still be nice though.

Much to do today & I'm awful sleepy. Cup of tea first I think. Have nice days ladies.

Chin up turkish - those hormones plus tiredness plus the enormity of being preg gets to me sometimes too. Try to ignore other people (inc me if you want!) and have an indulgent day. Your bump won't be 'too' anything at all! (((hugs)))

sheldon babies are teeny tiny (well most of them are though a lady at toddlers gave birth to a 11lb baby with a tooth!!!). Well done on your knitting - what precious keepsakes they will be once baby grows out of them. Hope you feel better very soon!

Morning All!

Welcome and congratulations on your scan and all round fab day tea! Another formerly g+t powered lady here! Am on virgin g&t now, ie just the t!

turkish, im sorry you're feeling sad. Pregnancy is very hard both physically and emotionally isn't it. I think the only acceptable comment to make to a pregnant woman is 'you look well' but suddenly everyone feels its their place to comment on your body shape!!!

mrsr, I have a very similar situation at work. Best advice as others have said is to play older lady at her game and suck up to your boss like crazy!! (not always palatable , I know) I'm finding with pregnancy that I am reacting in a much more emotional way to situations at work though. Hormones!

Hello to everyone else, am on my phone again so apologies for lack of proper name checks. Ds and I are off to the farm with some friends today. Weather forecast is good, can't wait!!

Ok, and I'm ready for work. I phew!

turkish sorry you are down. It is hard at times isn't it. Hopefully days like that will be less frequent as bump develops and it becomes more real.

I've been having a bit of a panic too. I get theses horizontal ridges in my nails from time to time. Not discoloured, just sort of unevenness. I showed a doctor and she just shrugged. I have convinced myself there is something wrong with me that will effect the baby :(

em this is not a suggestion to panic - just I had thought tonic water was generally to be avoided in preg? Something about quinine. I will look it up - prob a load of bunkum.

Hmm well the consensus seems to be that you'd have to consume massive doses of tonic water to ingest sufficient quinine to maybe cause uterine contractions - so mumsnet jury say 'ignore the scaremongery'. Sorry em, should've kept my trap shut. It just rang a bell and I thought I should give you a heads up. Some of the stuff on other forums (baby bump etc) appears to have no substance or medical backing.

If tonic water was off the list I'd have to officially protest. There's really naff all quinine in it.

Ladies having a down day - come on, the sun is out & this is the end of summer. Smile! Soon enough you'll be Mums!

Shel - you loon. You're just looking for stuff to worry about now. If nails are ridged eat jelly cubes.. At least such was the old schoolyard wisdom. :)

Morning campers

Sorry you are down turkish hopefully there'll be some humour on here to cheer you along today, much kindness being sent.

rigby sounds very tiring and stressful making, workplace politics and strained relationships can be a struggle, keep yourself right, rise above, think good karmic thoughts and sounds like you have had some balanced advice from your Marchers on here? Game playing not fun though, so just do your job and be seen to help others kindly even if it is through gritted teeth

As usual cant remember who/what else posted as on phone, but, if you are interested, Dorothy Perkins has 25% off everything at the moment, get the code at vouchercloud.com so maybe helpful for mat clothes, stretch tops etc or leggings? Expires on Sunday. There are other deals on that site like free delivery etc, and other retailers.

Happy Thursday all

You'll laugh at this ladies. I have an away day with a client today. It's casual gear. I have no casual gear that doesn't show off bump to LOOK AT ME proportions. So I'm in a black 50s style dress that I wear to work a lot.. But with funky yellow tights & red patent leather shoes. So casual!
Role on tomorrow's scan & being able to tell people. At least then I'll be able to wear my IO stripey dress & my b/w striped but bit tight top.

Also ladies who are down - mcAlmont & Butler, Yes. Download or find on You tube and dance along with them. I defy you to not feel better afterwards. Musical therapy!

Morning all, got my 9.30 nausea here, how lovely! Just as I think I may be feeling better it hits me a bit!

I'm feeling a bit better, though I had weird baby dreams again.

Today i am wearing my too big maternity trousers that are now less big, hubby says I now look pregnant, which is weird as I am not 12 weeks (grr) for another 2 days!

MrsR, I hate office politics too and would have reacted like you, I am terrible at game playing! Nice to know we are scan buddies next week, mine is at 8.30, when is yours?