Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

Ready?
Steady?
Go!

Hi bumpalicious ladies

Yomping There was absolutely nothing wrong with your link on the last thread, I was just seeing if I could also do ?proper? links like you do I have 2 teachers friends that are not pregnant but still got a mountain of chocolate for their leaving gifts I?m waiting for an invite to theirs to help polish it off!!

CWest so sorry to hear your DH is a being a complete & utter nobber; feel free to give him a kick up the arse from me - and have a hug from me

to all those suffering from heartburn Touch wood, I haven?t come across that (yet!) but instead I?m suffering from regular stitch -like pain up in my ribcage which really frigging hurts & last for ages?OUCHY Makes it hard to breathe sometimes too.

Thunder I?ve also put on a good 2 stone+ . I used to worry about the weight gain but baby is growing fine, I feel great (mostly), I?m still walking 45 mins a day and it seems to be all bump still. I figure that when the baby comes along, I?ll be too exhausted and too too skint to buy big meals so will survive on beans on toast & cereal!! yes it may seem naïve but I can see it being a reality for several weeks after giving birth

huffle I also have to convince my DH that 1 or 2 won?t harm the baby but he looks highly sceptical when I suggest it!! I was wondering if I have 1 or 2 servings of proper vino mixed with soda to make a spritzer would be equivalent of 1 or 2 large glases of piss (to borrow your phrase!) lambrusco?

And thanks for the hospital bag link too

WantAnOrange I also have Becks blue but it just ain?t the same?

squid I LOVE it!!!!! I want to do this too but I?m not sure work will allow it?!!? You look amazing, fantastic festival, pregnant chic!

Lots of to anyone who is having shite not great times/stresses at the moment?

I received some very scary news on Friday. My close friend who was pregnant with triplets had an emergency c-section on Wednesday as her waters broke, she?s only 28 wks. She?s got 2 boys and a girl and the little girl is on a ventilator. She?s over in India because her DH?s family live over there and they can afford the private healthcare/IUI (it?s around £600 I think, as opposed to the £1000?s we pay in the UK). Anyway, she phoned me yesterday in tears as the babies are so tiny, have tubes all over the place, translucent skin & I feel utterly, utterly helpless & sad for her. She & her DH were TTC for 10 years before these lil babies turned up & all she wants is to be a Mummy. I know that it?s amazing what doctors can do these days (also my Mum has worked in Special care for 40 years & she always telling me some amazing stories) but she hasn?t any family over there & she feels so alone. My heart is just breaking for her

Sorry for the downer, even if I wasn?t upduffed I?d still feel desperately unhappy for her as I know how long she?s wanted this.

anyone?!?

35, 26+1 (almost in the 3rd trimester - gaaaaah !!!), 11 weeks left of work (just thought I?d add that stat as I?m on a countdown but crapping myself about it as well, dc#1

Apologies for the comment to thunder, she's on the other thread....stupid baby brain

Hello everyone,

You are all far too prolific, so there's no way I can name check everyone I want to. I should post more often.
So, general sympathy to those with aches/pains/other half problems/friends in trouble/baby worries/work issues/house difficulties.Hopefully the nice weather I've heard you're having will make everything seem a bit brighter.
Have a on me. (Aren't I generous?!)

As for me, it's official... I am noticeably pregnant! A lovely gentleman gave up his seat for me on the subway this evening for the first time!! I was a bit embarrassed and didn't really need it pregnancy-wise, but I did have a lot of bags, so accepted gracefully.

Also, I have begun to realise that baggy tops do nothing for me, and longer line, more fitted maternity type tops are the way to go.
I have long, lanky arms and legs, so now my middle is filling out and I'm losing what little waist I had, I'm beginning to resemble an egg on (scrawny) legs.
Yesterday, I wore a non-maternity loose t-shirt top and felt like a crappy, big, chunky blob all day. Today I'm wearing a fitted maternity top for the first time and I feel much happier.
But of course that means I need to do yet more shopping...

Re. baby showers, (a bit slow, I know) I think like most others I don't like the "showering" with presents thing. If I've got it right, in the US they almost do like a wedding list, and get most of their essential supplies from their showers.
But I like an excuse for a party, especially one with a bit of a theme, so definitely wouldn't say no to a baby party. In fact, I'm a bit that I wont get to have one with my good friends back in the UK. I don't think I'll be having one here.

And finally.... arrrrrrggghh the heartburn! I'm not going to have an oesophagus left at this rate. I am no longer rationing my Gaviscon. I don't like to think about what I'll do when it runs out.

Have a good day.

oh no cherry! you can't live without Gaviscon! I have just come back from the doctors with a prescription that can be repeated as much as I like until January!! Hopefully I won't need it then! Can I send you some?! I wouldn't mind at all x

Ah Bella, that's really kind thanks, but I'm sure my parents will send me some more. It'd cost you a fortune in postage!
Also, I'm going to the docs again on Wednesday, so I'll see what she can do - have a sneaking suspicion it won't be much, but worth a try.

CWest Nobber! Tell him to get his act together! Can you tattle on him to his Mum? Most men are scared of their Mums...

The worst thing I can complain about today - I ate too many jellybabies and now I feel a bit sick.

My lovely parents are still here from Australia, and today they cleared out out vegetable garden.

I'm with cherrychopsticks I really want to name check everyone but it would take up so much space! Sorry, I will try harder to post more often and to all those going through bad/sad/tough/annoying times. I will now proceed to blabber about me....

I had my first proper anti-natal lesson last Thursday. I am so happy with my midwife, she is so kind and patient. A tip she gave that might help all those with heartburn (me included) was that apparently dairy products can make it worse. And there was me knocking back the natural yoghurt to try and 'cool' things down.

She also taught us lots of exercises to do to relieve back pain and positions to practise with our other halves for during labour to help with the pain and help the baby find its way through the birth canal - if I can work out how to scan in the document she gave me with pictures I will try and post it up!

One more tip, on the rather extensive list of things to bring to the clinic (such as your own sheets and blankets for the hospital cots, despite them being different size to your own!) was gynaecological soap. They don't mean the fragrant stuff you get in Boots but the natural, soap-free, pH balanced liquid soap. Apparently it can really help during pregnancy too if you're prone to infections and afterwards if you have scratches or an episiotomy. I've just bought a brand called Saugella, but I've no idea if it's available in the UK.

On Sunday went for a lovely walk in the Pyrenees while DH went mountain biking. I managed to walk uphill for about an hour and then suddenly felt exhausted and turned back. I was so, so tired last night though and slept in until 10am this morning. I have such massive respect for those of you still working. I have felt constantly guilty about not working after my work contract ended at week 13, but really I have to try and be more positive and think how lucky I am to not have to go through all of the crap some of you have had to.

squid you look great. Well done brave woman.
Your boy also looks totally loved up

My life - I've been trying for an AuPair but getting very few applications. I put in the ad while I was still only vaguely thinking about it and I got lots of applicants at the start. Now I've decided that's the route I want to take I'm getting very few. It might be off-putting if people see you already have 30+ applicants

cwest sorry dh is not being helpful, not what you need right now! Not sure they necessarily really understand just how exhausting it can feel to be pregnant, especially in this weather but still that's no excuse really. Does it help at all if you spell out to him what you'd like him to do- though I know thats also not ideal.

squid your bump painting is truly spectacular, absolutely love it! You look gorgeous and you rock.

zoe I joked that in my first pregnancy the only time I had morning sickness was after I'd eaten 2 bags of jelly babies, justified it to myself and dh (who had to go out and buy them for me!) as a craving but think I was actually just being v greedy!

smorgs that antenatal class sounds fab, really useful. Walking uphill for an hour also sounds to me like the current equivalent of climbing Everest, I am impressed! I find even an hour walking around on the flat makes my bump feel really tight and sore. Need to get swimming, think that might be more realistic exercise.

cherry are there any gaviscon alternatives you can get hold of? I know in the uk theres a few different things we can prescribe like gaviscon so jut a thought, wouldn't like to be without gaviscon.....

loopy your poor friend. I will be sending some positive thoughts winging her way and to th triplets too. 28 weeks is not a bad gestation statistically so will keep everything crossed for a good outcome, hugs to you too, I am definitely finding it harder to cope with emotional stuff now, think its hormones, so take care of you too.

We have just got back from a weekend with my parents down south. Means that we spent the gorgeous weather today on the m25 and m1 feeling hot and miserable. I also spent the weekend dodging my mums cigarette smoke, surely it's not unreasonable to hope that someone wouldn't blow cigarette smoke in your face when you're 28 weeks pregnant.
I am also still worried about this irregular heart beat thing, have asked around some other drs and done a little bit of Internet research (prob a bad idea!) and anyway consensus seems to be that it's almost always fine but should be followed up, opinions vary as to whether that means listening again in a week or ctg monitoring but no one else seems to suggest doing nothing.... Going to phone midwives tomorrow and ask if someone will see me again this week to listen in but hate phoning people (almost a bit phobic about it) and worried they'll be irritated with me / think I'm stupid. Got to do it though. It's also making me worry more every time the baby has one of those quiet spells that's perfectly normal but can get you a bit worried. Oh well.

Hope everyone has a nice week!

Zoe to change your nn, go to the tabs right at the top of the page. There's one called "my mumsnet" - if you hover over that, another one comes up below called "my registration". That'll take you to the page where you can choose another nn. Look forward to seeing your next incarnation!

Squid , you are absolutely rockin that belly!!!!! A lil jealous and now want to go find me a music festival!

C west. I could right kick your fella in the balls! Sure hope he comes round.

I have found anything really fatty or sugary gives me heartburn, though glad it has eased up. Been eating tums when needed.

On the me me me front....plumbing is still frusrating me. Seem to have frequent small bm, followed by one big enormous blockage clearing one, then a bunch of.... Um backlog??? Pun intended.lol

Oh and on a much cleaner pleasant note... My brother just found out they are having a girl!!!! Yippee. First girl of the bunch.

Yomping, thanks for starting us off on our new post, i knew u were the lady for the job. So sorry to hear u have had more sad news.

squid, love the sunny festival bump :)

smiley, glad u have decided to follow up the irregular heartbeat, am sure u will feel much better for it

loopy, keeping everything crossed for your friend's triplets

londonlivvy hope your pains go away, do go to mw if they dont.

cwest, hope the nobber is redeeming himself!!! Agree with everyone who thinks they just dont get how f*ing tired we are.

Lovely parents in law stayed this weekend. FIL helped with the rennos and MIL and i got ourselves out of the way. Most active weekend i've had in a long time - on saturday we just went for a walk to the local historic cemetry and then went to westfields after lunch and then went to kew gardens on sunday. could not believe how shattered it's made me. Barely got through the day today. Had to have 30min nana nap at kew and was getting nasty under rib pains when walking more than 15 mins. Think i have also developped a tendinopathy in my left archilles :(. need rest!!

bed time for beccus

Think I am having pelvic pain? V poor sleep last night. Kept waking up with pain inside and finding myself on back. Usually good at sleeping on left. Walk to loo v uncomfy, horribly. Got two pillows for between legs, seemed to ease but still not great. Ok this morn. Mentioned to MW this morn as had apt. Said it felt like the area that moves with pelvic floor exercises. She exclaimed that I shouldn't do too many pelvic floor exercises. And only worry about pain if actually my tummy. ?????!!!!! And DH wonders why I don't like this MW? Thankfully went to see another one for blood tests. Said might be a one off but if reoccurs at all to phone them to arrange physio as may be problematic. More helpful!! And I only remember exercises about every 4 days, despite yoga teacher saying to do lots and lots!!!!

There's my rant. Hope pelvis comfy this eve. Off to bed due to last night's shitty sleep!! Hope all well, v v v prolific posting by all today!! Hugs and support to all who need. X

Sympathy to everyone suffering with reflux and crap sleep.

I've not been sleeping well but can't put my finger on what it is...could be a) worry about work, b) need for a wee (bladder seems quite crap at realising this at stupid hours of the morning) or c) little one making movements (but again, not really realising it).

Am catching up with daytime snoozes on the sofa whilst I'm off work...need to change that habit if I'm back next week.

Been feeling on edge today - again not sure if work related, or if it is general anxiety about baby stuff (today's worry has been finance related childcare issues).

Big hugs to everyone with crap partners/housemoves/renovations/work/news - sending lots of . Again, think some people just aren't aware of how knackering everything is at the moment.

Seem to have definitely developed bump in last 2 weeks. Not at the waddling stage by any means and can still see fet bit certainly finding bending,/ leaning very difficult now!

32, 26+1, #1

londonlivvy - I second everyone saying ?if in doubt, get checked out?. Sorry you?re feeling so rubbish. I find it hard to know sometimes what I should be worried about and what is, however massively uncomfortable, normal.

crazypaving - the only thing I can think of that might cause pins and needles of the tongue is either a tongue burn you didn?t realise you did or perhaps a middle of the night tip of tongue biting, which might have hit a nerve. Oh and it?s ok to be a pedant . Actually, I edit for a living but it?s too much of a busman?s holiday to care much on here. Interestingly, I found out some time ago that ostrichs don?t actually stick their heads in the sand at all. No creatures do that I believe. Therefore, I just make up my own analogies to suit what I mean (DP reminds me more of a dopey, farting camel anyway ).

huffle, LondonMrs - Baby Centre rocks (in a hilarious way!) . At the end of last week they said something like ?You may start to occasionally experience a little heartburn after eating? and causing me to exclaim ?bloody nobbers!? ? a little heartburn?!?!?!?!!!! Try permanent acid in throat from like week 24! Empathising with Angelico and everyone else suffering (is anyone not?).

Angelico - that?s exactly how mine feels (the squirmy stuff). Sometimes they downright hurt. I spend half the day with a hard knee, heel or bum sticking out of my skin (can?t work out what it is half the time). Can?t say I?ve had any ?shivering? movements though (but I did have a shivering ?attack? in the night the other night ? my first since 2 in the 1st trimester).

squid - your painted bump looks lovely and you two look the picture of happiness (awwww :))

Kyrria sorry you're not sleeping and feeling a bit crap. Welcome to the waddling masses - happens to us all eventually. I've been a certified waddler now for many weeks .

CWest and anyone else putting up with DH/DPs being total nobbers. Mine has joined the club. What is this? Men wimping out around 28 weeks? Grrrrr. Was going to post an AIBU saying ?AIBU in objecting to my DP allowing his kids to eat 8 ice lollies, several ice creams, untold amounts of sweets (in one day ? in fact in a 7 hour period) and not requiring them to eat a proper meal, then allowing them to be really rude to him demanding more without raising so much as a parental eyebrow? To me that?s almost tantamount to child abuse and I?m now in a dreadfully moribund state wondering why I?m having a child with this man whose parenting values are so polar opposite to mine (on top of not really being able to stand watching the whole debacle and the bratty behaviour). I?ve read him the riot act and said I won?t live with him and the DSDs if he doesn?t pull his act together and commit to agreeing how to bring up our child with sensibleness and boundaries. I?m sure I?d be dreadfully flamed elsewhere and perhaps even by you guys but I?m feeling like I want to run away from my own home again and I don?t want these girls to be an influence on my child. I?m terribly sad for them that they lack consistent parenting and boundaries. I worry they will become odious adults. On the rare occasions he does ?father? (rather than ?best buddy?) them, they flourish and become terribly kind and good. Ok, rant over. I know no-one on here is in this position but I had to vent. He was also a cock-nobber the night before ? saying he was ?popping? to his brother?s for a couple of hours and staying until 2.45am (on a Sunday night) when he knew I had to get to bed early as I had masses to do and an article to write before we went on holiday (which is due to be tomorrow). I feel like telling him to nob-off with the girls and I will follow when I?ve had some space and done my stuff but all that will create is me looking very bad to his family (at whose cabin we are holidaying, with them) and I have no allies of my own here. She?s now talking to him like he?s a piece of shit and he?s laughing and showing her his belly. I?m so sick of this behaviour I?m going for a walk. Until the little shits have gone to bed. Grrrrr. Ok, I?ll shut up now.

Thanks for all the support ladies.

I'm talking to DH but to be honest uv let it go for now as tomorrow is the day we move into my parents for the foreseeable future til the house is ready. Been sooooo busy today, and tomorrow won't be much different so no time for a row.

Trying not to worry about the distinct lack of movement from my little lady tonight, normally she kicks like mad morning and night but today there's hardly been much at all. Trying not to read too much into it....

Tbh I think we (rightly) expect more from them at this time, and they don't know how to rise to the challenge. DH is wonderful in many ways, but lazy and unimaginative when it comes to entertaining DD (I take her to the lido, ballet, playground; he takes her to Homebase if he's going anyway and if he's on rare child duty). The result is that she instinctively turns to me for entertainment and follows me everywhere, giving him lots of lovely Kindle time. On my bad days I find this infuriating. On the other hand, I was a bitch at the end of my last pregnancy, convincing myself that he didn't want a baby and offering, after a 2-day silent standoff, to give her up for adoption after she was born in a mad hormonal rant.

But I am still not happy about the Costa Rica trip at 35 weeks. I hope to go to France by train with DD the week before, 33wk scan permitting, and suggested he might try to make his trip coincide with that. Response? 'The best time for me to go to Costa Rica would be [week of my due date].' Still, if I can manage a trip to Brittany with DD on my own the week before, I guess his reasoning goes, I'll be fine at home on my own the week after. Grr. Fact is I NEED that holiday - it's full board with friends and all I'll have to do is beach myself and let DD play with their kids.

I think we're all venting today! squidkid -love the sun and do another festival while you can!

Quick reply on my phone to say that the pains seem to have gone away. Yay. Possibly growth spurt which is also why I was feeling manky? Anyway, v much appreciate support. I was feeling kicks all the time which I found reassuring, if somewhat distracting!

squid can't believe you went to a festival! Go you. And boyf does look v loved up.

fjordmor Grr re lax parenting. I think it's always so tricky with step parenting already and when he varies so much I'm not sure how you're supposed to align? I certainly think we are in the affection but boundaries camp.

BTW, not sure who recommended the baby whisperer some weeks back, but whoever it was, thank you. I read it and she's been the only book I liked and which made sense to me. I am aiming for a routine, rather than a gina regime. (obviously since baby not here yet, plans may yet change).

kyyria it could well be the baby waking you up. Several times I've woken up and wondered why and then felt a series of kicks.

huffle your mw sounds unusual. I thought it was impossible to do too many pelvic floor muscle exercises?

beccus that sounds like a manic weekend to me.

Right sorry to those i'be missed.must go to work.

Thank you again to all you lovely ladies.

Today is one of the rare times I'm pleased to be in the NE where it is overcast and cooler than everywhere else - averaging 20 degrees today and I am having major hot flushes...could not be coping with the 30 degrees expected in London!!!

Have just toddled to the post box to post my Gran's birthday card (95 tomorrow, bless her) and feel so lumbering and huge...don't think that's helping with the hot flushes either. I'm still feeling fat rather than pg - the only place I've felt at home was on Sunday when I had to head to the pregnancy assessment unit at hosp for a routine GTT.

Think I am going to go and have to dig out a fan...

32, 26+2, #1, melting by the minute

londonlivvy glad to hear you're feeling better. It might have been me who recommended that book, I can't remember but anyway I enjoyed it and thought her approach made sense
squid I echo everyone else you look amazing! Respect for three days standing and walking about too I don't think my back would have let me
fjordmor sympathies on the step parenting front. Wish I could offer advice
elpis I have been getting really irritated with dh recently And even started wondering if he really wants the baby so I'm kind of glad to hear you went through that last time IYKWIM. Every time I start talking about pregnancy or the baby he changes the subject or worse starts complaining about some ache or pain he has! He's even started 'reminding' me that his granny gave birth to 7 children at home on the farm with no pain relief whenever I start talking about ways of coping in labour
kyyria it's 35 here most days! And 37 forecast for Thursday! I think I'm going to find myself a cave and stay there...

Oops 32, 28 weeks today, dc1

I'm meltiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!!!! Come back rain!!!

That is all.

squid, yes, love it! Want an excuse to get mine done now!

Loopy, please, please come here and eat all of most of my chocolate! It's haunting me, in the cupboard, I know I shouldn't but I keep eating it and I haven't got the strength to throw it all away . Your poor friend, it must be awful seeing your babies looking so tiny and vulnerable. Fingers very firmly crossed for her xxx

Cherry, hope you get hold of some Gaviscon!

ZoePlankton, you're not the only one, I reckon my name is pretty obvious from my username. But I sort of like people knowing my name, makes posts feel more personal.

Smorgs, your antenatal class sounds way better and more informative than mine. And I can also recommend unfragranced stuff - I only use Simple on my ladybits - used to suffer from repeated bouts of cystitis and using unperfumed shower gel was one of the things that finally helped to combat it. Well done on your walking!

Smiley, I sympathise about dodging cigarette smoke - I will be in a similar situation next week - spending the week at Centre Parks with DH's parents and brother and sister and their families. Currently looks as if we will be sharing a chalet with MIL and FIL who both smoke, plus SIL and her husband who also both smoke despite having 2 small children, one of whom has respiratory problems (wonder why... ). To say I am not looking forward to the week is a rather big understatement...

Beeble I also have unsatisfactory plumbing, I feel desperate for a wee only to find it's just a trickle. Very annoying.

Fjord, no flaming from me, I think I would feel exactly the same, it sounds like he is being totally crap to be honest. At least with your own child you can have much more say in how he handles things and that should make quite a difference.

London, I've got the Baby Whisperer too, it's one of a massive pile of books I am planning to read during the next few weeks - must drag my arse away from mumsnet and actually start reading them!

DH and I spent yesterday in London - bugger me it was hot! I was Rubbish Pregnant Girl (tm). This was me:

• it's too hot!
• it's too sunny!
• my now thighs which are bigger than they were, and no longer sexy, are rubbing together, I NEED to buy some shorts to wear under this dress NOW
• this bump support is too tight and uncomfortable and makes me feel like I need the loo, I have to take it off NOW
• these shorts which you helped me to find and which are great cos they stop my legs rubbing together, are too tight now we are sitting down in this restaurant, I need to take them off NOW
• cry cry cry, being pregnant is rubbish

If I was DH, I would have distracted me with a cunning "look over there, what's that?" then run off when I wasn't looking, to find himself a girl who didn't spend the entire day moaning.

Apart from me being a moaning nobber, it was a great day, and we say Rhys Darby who is very funny and we got home at 1am which is a pretty rickin' late night for me these days.

Today is operation Put Up With My Mother And Pretend Her Tactless Remarks Don't Actually Offend Me At All. She is going through a rough time and really wants to visit so I am steeling myself to spend the day listening to her, not minding that when she asks me questions, she doesn't actually stop talking for long enough for me to answer, trying not to be over-sensitive to the inevitable comments like "oh, you're put on a bit of weight haven't you" and trying to listen to her advice so that she feels needed. I might need a or two later (Loopy, don't tell your DH!).

Ha yomping, you always make me laugh! I can imagine myself doing just the same... bloody heat! Bloody clothing! The world of inanimate objects is conspiring against us!!!

Slightly stressed by work ATM. There's this one woman who can't stand it if she isn't the most dominant person in any given interaction has a lot invested in her status as a professional. Unfortunately, we seem to be coming up loggerheads: my job is technical/computery, hers isn't, and she genuinely can't see why what she's wrong - which, unfortunately, and according to systems requirements that we can't change, she is.

(If you were wondering, yes - most of my job is telling people 'computer says no'. )

On today's List O' Worries - pre-eclampsia! Gosh darn it, it turns out that it has a genetic component. My Mum had it, my Auntie had it, my Grandma almost died of full-blown eclampsia (none of this 'pre' rubbish) so I'm... yeah, I'm a bit worried. That's 3-for-3 - all the women on my Mum's side who have had babies have had pre-eclampsia. And there's only one cure - delivering the baby.

Yaaaay.

I've pretty much decided (partly but not entirely because of the pre-eclampsia thing - stress/tiredness might be a factor in it starting) to quit work five weeks before the bub is due. But so many other women work to the end-game, and Lord knows we need the money - I haven't been at my work long enough to get statutory maternity pay (missed out by two weeks! )

...ladies, what are your plans? When are you leaving work? And am I being a bit of a wuss for knocking off a little early?