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November 2012 - baby shopping time has really taken off

999 replies

StuntNun · 15/07/2012 21:22

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1505839-November-2012-nearer-the-end-than-the-beginning

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
capedcrusader25 · 19/07/2012 19:12

Rant alert
Had a shit couple of days (pardon my language). Friends are morons who have absolutely driven me to the point of despair. In fact my DP (who has been amazing) took to contacting one of them to basically tell her to back away from me as she was being a total bitch and he wasn't having it anymore. So unlike our group of friends and totally out of the blue, which I think (couple with the crazy pregnancy hormone we get) was the reason I was so inconsolable :(
Anyway our friend's sister has given us a baby bouncer which my Mum and Dad are going to keep at theirs and a huuuuuge bag of gorgeous almost-new baby clothes ranging from newborn to 6-9 months. Everything from George to Zara so feel very lucky and appreciative. Made me remember some people can still be nice and lovely!!!
Hope everyone is ok and looking forward to a bit of sun next week, finally!

SwissArmyWife · 19/07/2012 19:35

My baby is also low down, but I have a high bump. Mind you, recently i've been feeling kicks higher up so think he likes to change his mind a lot!

caped - Sorry to hear about your 'friend' who clearly isn't a friend if it's reached that point. What's the old saying? "The people that mind don't matter and the people that matter don't mind"?
Ignore them. :)

I've sorted my exhaustion out, finally. Decided to start taking Spatone and feel so much better for it. Plus DD is sleeping a lot better now (have had a horrible few weeks of back teeth making an appearance) although I still feel tired if I do too much, but at least I can start the day with some energy!

DonnaDoon · 19/07/2012 19:37

Caped Rant away...safe to here. Is anyone else NOT looking forward to some sun...I cant be doing with being all hot and bothered and breathless with 3 kids to entertain ...it suits me just fine being cool and rainy, it gives me the perfect excuse to be bathed and in my PJs by 7.30.

StuntNun · 19/07/2012 19:40

I'm 24 weeks today and we all got called in to the company Board Room to be told that all 13 positions in my department have been made redundant and 10 new positions have been created. So we all have to apply for these new jobs and anyone left standing when the music stops gets compulsory redundancy.

I had 13 weeks to go before I started maternity leave, why did they have to spring this on us now? I've just been through a lengthy grievance with the company so there's a suspicion at the back of my mind that they're going to use this to get rid of me. Now instead of trying to decide whether I'm going to go back to work or not, I have to wonder whether I'll have a job next month or not.

I could really do without this kind of stress right now. The job applications have to be in by noon Monday so I'd better get busy brushing up my CV.

OP posts:
ValiumQueen · 19/07/2012 20:18

Oh dear stunt that must be a worry, but the odds are good- ten will be kept on and 3 will go, so over a 3 in 4 chance. I think being pregnant will actually stand in your favour as they will not want to be seen as being prejudiced against a pregnant woman. Worth looking at your mat policy as you may still qualify for mat pay as you are quite far on. I may be talking shite though. Hugs!

Not keen on having a cast in the heat, but at least I can throw the kids out in the garden if it is dry.

Sorry about your friends caped hope they soon come grovelling apologetically.

StuntNun · 19/07/2012 20:29

I think if I make it through to Friday week then I at least get SMP so that's something. I get the feeling that the management have already decided who's getting which job and the interviews are just a formality to meet legal requirements. On the other hand my boss was still piling work on me today which makes me think I've got a good chance of keeping some kind of job. I just wish they were giving us a bit more time. We have to have our applications in by Monday so I've going to have to spend time working on this at the weekend when I was hoping to be able to spend it with my BIL and SIL that are unexpectedly coming over tomorrow. Other people in the department have weddings etc. to go to and won't be able to enjoy themselves because they'll have application forms to fill in.

At least the rest of the people in the office are allowed wine Envy

OP posts:
ShellyBobbs · 19/07/2012 20:54

Stunt That's awful, good luck with your application. Remember, DO NOT open a mumsnet tab on your computer when doing said application! Grin

I've bought myself 2 more huge pillows today, so that will be 5 behind my back and one under my knees so far! Got off early from work tonight, really needed it as I am absolutely knackered after no sleep for weeks on end.

Dixiebell · 19/07/2012 21:04

stunt, how horrible for you, and giving people a weekend only to prepare seems harsh. Fingers crossed for you.

Okay, TMI alert....so I've told you all about my aching coccyx. The doc then put me on antibiotics as he felt the swelling might be an infection. Well on Wed, pus started coming out of a tiny hole at the top of my bum..so def an infection! Still hurts like anything, can't sit. So gonna go back to doc tomorrow, my dad (retired gp) says it should be getting better by now with antibiotics and they may need to lance it!! Argh! That sounds painful, and can you use anaesthetic in pregnancy? The only thing I'm (slightly) grateful for is that this is happening now, not closer to giving birth as can't imagine the nightmare of doing that with this effing abscess. I've googled and it does seem to be something that can come up during pregnancy, but really, why me?! Also not easy to explain to work that I can't come in as my arse is so sore I can't sit on the sofa let alone a train for an hour, and that I have pus coming out of it...

I'm sorry, as I said, probably far TMI but I can tell you I'm looking forward to the day when I only have to contend with hip pain at night again.

Sophiathesnowfairy · 19/07/2012 21:10

stunt that must be so worrying. I think, though, that most companies would prefer not to make anyone pregnant redundant because of potential ramifications.

Latest on the bonus into ex husbands bank account saga, he said hee couldn't move the money online as he had a virus on his computer. Hmm As usual I realised too late that I should have told him to go to the library and do it as he has the girls on a Monday night and he always takes them to the library after school. Anyway I told him to post me a cheque special delivery.

HE TOOK THE COST OF THE POSTAGE OFF THE TOTAL AMOUNT! Plonker. No wonder I divorced him. I refuse to be cross, I can imagine that he thinks it's hilarious. I just think it is petty and immature.

A busy day cleaning after I. Laws visit and before the school hols. When I have a busy day, physically, I get a really uncomfortable ache below my bump at the top of my leg on the right hand side sort of where the knicker elastic goes. Does anyone else get anything similar.

Lying in bed now, three cushions behind, the long preggy cushion and a pillow under my knees, and relax............

ValiumQueen · 19/07/2012 21:39

dixie that sounds horrid, you poor thing! Make sure you get it checked out as they would need to check for a cavity, and if there is one it could grow bigger if left. Good the pus has started coming out though, as that will help the pain, and hopefully prevent any cavity growing. Also with pus they can swab it to make sure they are using the right antibiotic. Your GP should be able to provide you with dressings etc to keep it clean. You have my sympathies x I don't know much about anaesthetics in pregnancy though. Hopefully it will not come to that, and I would think they could lance it under local. Not a pleasant thought. >

YellowWellies · 19/07/2012 22:23

Jeez Dixie! Get well soon hon - that sounds really painful :(

YellowWellies · 19/07/2012 22:24

Stunt I concur with the others, I actually think your pregnancy might make you safer from redundancy. Fingers crossed though x

rowingdowntheriver · 20/07/2012 00:03

Sorry to hear about your friends being shitty Caped. Not what you need when you also have a bag full of pregnancy hormones to deal with.

Stunt, redundancies at work are shitty too and what bad timing for you. Good luck with the application process and interview on Monday. I would hope that they would actually be very careful about dismissing you given the recent grievance process as I'm sure they wouldn't to risk it appearing that the redundancy was in anyway linked to a grievance.

Dixie, hope your coccyx starts to improve now. I'll now admit I had got confused yesterday as I got you and valiummixed up and was thinking that it was Valium who had the sore coccyx so when she first mention she needed a plaster cast I was trying to work out it was possible to wear a plaster cast on your arse!

My husband had an op today to see what has been causing his abdominal pain and whilst they were rooting around inside they whipped out his appendix and told me it looked thickened. I'm hoping that means he is now fixed as the pain he was in was unbearable. He's still in hospital at the moment but at some point I'm hoping the consultant will explain tomorrow to him/us exactly what they found and what that means.

I had the builders/ decorators arrive at 7.30 am today to start some work on our bedroom so my MIL and I had to move everything out of that room before they could start. I take back a bit of my moaning yesterday about mil as she was actually really helpful today.

Anyhow, the combination of all that lifting, picking up DS and walking endless miles around the hospital means I am exhausted now and my back aches. Think I will pay the price for it tomorrow. My work have all been amazing about me not going in though (have needed to stay home because of in laws arriving to visit DH and also so I can visit as much as possible). Don't think I'd have been able to concentrate even if I had gone in.

GTbaby · 20/07/2012 00:14

Sounds like lots of us are having bad days ATM. Let's hope the good weather nxt week brings a chance in our mood / circumstances / health or whatever and we r all bk to our chatty selves soon Grin

I'm looking forward to last day at school tomorrow Grin but looking at the time, level of DH snoring and the fact fraggle has woken up n is moving a lot. I doubt I'll b asleep any time soon :s

Just been reading some gina ford. Only one chapter in and do far, most advice seems very practical. Will do some more research over weekend to work out y ppl don't like her.

Right better try n sleep now.

GTbaby · 20/07/2012 05:32

Grrrrrrrrrrr. Prat of a H just left for work. Ensuring to make enough noise to wake me up. He made a comment about how HE hadn't slept well. I swiftly informed him his snoring told me otherwise. In a mood now n can't sleep. I know I will fall asleep just as my alarm goes off.

May read my gina ford again n see what all the fuss is about.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 20/07/2012 05:39

Morning, woken up by DP here, I don't mind too much I'm enjoying knowing that I don't have to go and wake the kids for school! Smile

They're both camped out on the sofa after i discovered thick black mould on the bedroom ceiling, for DS with CF that is ridiculously dangerous so I will be phoning the housing association at regular intervals today, if there is one thing I'm good at, it's pestering people to get things done. Grin

Hospital for me today too, seeing my consultant for mystery appointment, may possibly get another scan, hopefully little belly dweller will be awake today.,Smile

rowingdowntheriver · 20/07/2012 05:50

Am awake so thought I'd put down why I dislike the Gina Ford advice GT.

Obviously this is just my opinion and I appreciate that there are others out there that think she is great but I'd say her advice drove me close to PND.

She strongly advises routine for babies from day 1 and the routine is extremely rigid. I hadn't read anything before DS1 was born and was plodding along reasonably well at first but craving some sleep and and started hearing all my nct friends talking about routines and whether or not they had one (baby was only a couple of weeks old at this point). I started feeling that I'd already been neglectful by not reading anything and assuming that I would just know what to do.

I got a book - not GFord as had already heard bad things (it had driven a friend to PND) - instead got one called the baby whisperer as had heard it was more relaxed than GF.

On day 1 of reading it and trying to implement the routine that was advocated I pretty much broke down and was a huge puddle of tears by the time DH got home. DH told me that the pile of books I'd just had delivered should be burnt as i'd done such a good job before they arrived and he couldn't believe how bad this one had made me feel.

First, it tells you the exact order you should do things - eat, activity, sleep (on repeat through the day until baby's bed time). So far so good. However in practice many babies seem to want to eat then sleep then maybe a few minutes of activity before eating again. This means waking them after they doze off. Always a v stressful thing to do when you are sleep deprived and need to rest and don't know when they'll get to sleep later.

Second,you have activity for a prescribed amount of time. My baby wanted to sleep so I was basically forcing him to stay awake and play for the allotted 15 mins or so during which time he got tired and unhappy.

Next it is time for their prescribed 40 min nap. My baby was overtired by now and I spent the whole 40 mins desperately trying to get him to sleep. But couldn't as he was overtired.

Due a feed - dilemma is do you continue trying to get them to nap as they've not done this yet or do you, according to the timetable, feed them?

Continue this cycle if you wish, with a screaming baby (vvvvvvv upsetting to listen to when it is your own), and with no confidence in yourself and suffering from serious sleep deprivation.

All the time be very aware that GF is telling you that this routine works for EVERY baby (therefore in your head you are being crap and doing it wrong), and without it your baby will NEVER get to sleep at night on it's own, never sleep through the night, not be stimulated enough during the day (and hence be retarded developmentally and it'll all be your fault). Obviously this paragraph reflects how I interpreted her advice and not what she actually said!!

It took a few weeks for me to regain confidence in myself and to stop feeling the need to check what the books / internet said at every opportunity and I can honestly say that when I did stop checking EVERYTHING, then I was so much happier and started to enjoy being a mum a lot more.

The best advice I was given was to read / listen to all advice and then ignore everything you don't like. Unfortunately for me in the early days my filter didn't seem to work and j felt I had to follow every bit of advice I got. Some of it which was good and some, for me, was shit.

I know there are people that love GF and swear their baby dropped perfectly into the routine and slept beautifully through the night from week 1. I can't help but feel that they are giving themselves and Gina too much credit for their babies own natural temperament. As all the baby books (frustratingly say to give themselves a caveat for their advice not working) 'all babies are different!'

Rant over Grin and I'm happy never to mention Gina Ford again!

FatimaLovesBread · 20/07/2012 06:51

I SLEPT!

We went to the Trafford Centre last night and DH bought me the Dreamgenii and I actually got a descent nights sleep and slept til my alarm Grin

StuntNun · 20/07/2012 08:11

Dixiebell they can use a local anaesthetic on you as that's what I had for the steroid injections. Hope you get your bum sorted soon.

Thanks for all the advice about the redundancies, I'm hoping I'm in a good position because I'm well qualified for the job I do and I have a lot of experience but it's also not nice knowing some people will definitely be going and it will be the ones management don't like. Strangely all the office 'favourites' seem to be the ones that are most upset.

OP posts:
WestWinger · 20/07/2012 08:19

rowing I have to agree with you on the book / routine front. My DD was an angel baby - only really cried if she was tired or hungry and once she got food or put down in her moses basket, she stopped crying. This, however, had nothing to do with the routines / advice etc given in the books I was reading, that was just her temperament.

I went for a baby-led approach for pretty much her whole first year: when she wanted feeding, she got fed, when she wanted putting down for a nap, I put her down etc. She slept through really early on (about 7 weeks) and has done ever since. Bless her, she has not woken up and needing settling during the night more than about twice since then, and that has only been because of bad dreams latterly. But, I cannot stress enough - this is not because of anything I did - that is just her - she is relatively easily pleased, a placid personality and likes her sleep (heaven help you if you wake her up early from her afternoon nap).

From talking to my friends who had babies at the same time, some were much more fractious and difficult to settle. They tried various books and routines etc as they were keen to try anything that may help. Some worked and some didn't. I do think a lot of it is down to your baby's individual personality but there are some tips that may help or point you in the right direction.

Given how good DD was, I am totally bricking it and unprepared for baby no. 2's first year. It is going to be a heck of a shock, I think. Gaaaaahhhhh! What have I done?!?!?! Where can I buy Gina Ford books??! Grin

applepieinthesky · 20/07/2012 08:31

Sorry to hear you are having such a crap time caped and stunt Sad

Catbag · 20/07/2012 08:43

Think I must be mad. Taking the whole family (plus my enormous twin bump) to a festival this weekend. Still, I figure I can't really get any less sleep than I am doing now, so I might as well do something nice with the kids. Wish me luck :s

TitsalinaBumSquash · 20/07/2012 08:46

Good luck! :) I hope it's neither to hot or cold/wet for you.
I was going to take the kids to a theme/farm park but their father has neglected to pay child support again this month, poor lamb find it do hard to remember his children what with all the partying and stuff he has to do. Angry

I'm having a rather nice cup of Chai at the moment which always cheers me up a bit Smile

YellowWellies · 20/07/2012 09:09

I'd second the negative view of Gina Ford - her four hour routines just won't work if you want to breastfeed as at the start you need to feed much more frequently than that if you want your supply to come in. So really, you can either Gina or BF and I know which I'd pick.

Also - the author slept in her Mum's bed until she was 15 and has never had any kids of her own so I'm not sure she's someone who's advice I'd want to be taking re child rearing!

I know of dozens of Mums who have tried her methods and given up, feeling that they and their babies were somehow at fault. When actually it's tosh and doesn't fit all babies - as WestWinger and Rowing, rightly say, all babies are different and it is temperament that most determines the early days - there is no one size fits all.

The only Mum I know who did full on Gina Ford and managed to maintain it, nearly had a breakdown when she discovered that her darling DD actually had dairy intolerance and serious acid reflux - and her cries at night were from acid burns on her oesphagus not from her 'failing to get with Gina's programme'. Following Gina's kindly advice her DD had been ignored and left to cry it out for six months. She now has the clingiest most insecure toddler I've ever met - well you would be if you'd been left in pain all night for six months.

I'd really bin it and go for something more gentle. The baby whisperer worked well for my sis, but I think any book can make you a bit nuts in terms of routine - but to be honest I'm going to go with rowing's approach of trusting myself and going for a baby led approach.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 20/07/2012 09:27

I've never read a baby book! I'm of the theory that if it's crying plug it into the boob/bottle or change nappy/wind/cuddle. You soon pick up on different cries and cues and fairly quickly settle into a feed/sleep/play pattern.

Both mine are still alive as far as in aware yep both still in one piece. Grin
I think trying to follow something so rigid with a baby that has no concept of what is and isn't reasonable and relies on nature/instinct alone is just steering yourself up for a fall. This is however just my humble opinion. :)