November 2012 - nearly halfway there!

[StuntNun]

Previous threads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1412456-Nov-12-babies
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1432039-Due-in-November-2012-part-deux-no-cringy-thread-name-here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1438916-November-2012-Duebies-Part-3-insert-cheesy-name-of-choice-here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1449640-November-2012-bring-on-the-second-trimester
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1460598-November-2012-the-boringly-named-fifth-thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1479016-November-2012-time-for-gender-guessing

ChunkyChicken I think people tend to assume home births are dangerous because they don't realise that they are usually only done by women that can reasonably be expected to have a straightforward delivery and that at any sign of a problem that can't be managed at home you will be recommended to go to hospital. I was offered a home birth for DS1 but ended up with meconium in my waters so I had to go to hospital anyway. With this DS3 I have to have continuous foetal monitoring because I have a risk of ante-partum haemorrhage so I have to give birth in hospital, it would be irresponsible for me to have a home birth. I think a lot of people just don't realise that a homebirth is something that has been planned for in conjunction with your healthcare team so they assume it's more dangerous than it actually is.

Please could someone put on a link to the new thread? I can't do it on my phone.

Daisy At least if you go to the session next month, he'll see the dad's point of view whether or not you can actually go for it in the end :)

Feeling a bit ratty today again, very unlike me. Thankfully hubby is now out until the sometime in the wee hours (so I can't be horrible to him) and I think I'll take the kiddywinks out somewhere nice for tea then the piccies, at least if my mouth is full of food and then at the flicks I can't speak so can't be a b**ch :(

Regarding homebirths, I agree Stunt a lot of people have very uneducated opinions and it comes straight from their arses! I was told on Wednesday that as I have had 3 previous straight forward pregnancies and births that studies actually showed that I was safer giving birth at home, she even went as far as to question my hubbies opinion about hospital birth taking into account getting there after my last labour of 55 minutes, she asked him if he is ready to deliver his baby at a bus stop :) (thank you missus).

Also forgot to say that I'm now not under shared care, I managed to get back to just midwife led care, didn't even take any persuading after I put my case to the doctor (thyroid issues).

Does anyone know what the FB group is called? Tried searcing for it but nothing came up. I know someone has posted this earlier but I can't find it.

Will message DH with my real name too :)

I havent felt little one move all today or yesturday but have before that alot each day, am I right to worry?

N20 I want to say don't worry but I would ESP how active mine has been. Best to check really.

Facebook group is Nov 12 babies, and you have to pm desperatehousewife so she knows you are from this list.

Lilliana nov 2012 babies

Thanks Stunt & Shelley. I guess reading that thread where people are trying to persuade one way or another, & using phrases like 'risk adverse' & 'v v small risk but...' is worrying me really. I so don't want to do the whole mad dash in the car thing, as that would be more stressful/dangerous, & I'm so worried that the MLU (in hospital, opposite delivery suite, so not MUCH different really) will be full and/or I won't get a water birth, which is something I really want, given I spent most of my labour with DD in the tub!!

Yet, I'm not that much of a risk taker, although I am naturally slightly optimistic - perhaps its ego or delusional, but I tend to think most things will go ok as long as I've planned things well. I believe the research & trust that a homebirth is (currently) statistically safer and don't feel I need anything more than water/g&a as that's all I had last time so hospital isn't a necessity iyswim. I guess its the whole 'OMG I'm having another baby' thing... It suddenly dawned on me the other day I would have 2 kids!!!

Just a reminder that the new thread is here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1505839-November-2012-nearer-the-end-than-the-beginning. Please could someone make sure there's another link on the last page of the thread - we don't want to lose anybody!

Chunky I was amazed how easy it was having 2, the hardest transition is going from 0 to 1 .

I understand your concerns, but a lot of it is our environment where hospital births are the 'norm' and have been for many years. My last delivery was horrible because of the midwife, she just plain panicked all the way through and afterwards, I just wanted her to get out of the room and let me do it. She even wanted to rush me to theatre, and said this out loud, because my placenta was stuck, another midwife came in to help, had a look (), and said, 'it's there'. Grrrrrrr........ At the end of the day it is what makes you feel comfortable, do your hospital run homebirth sessions where you can meet other people who have recently experienced homebirths?

Looking back I could have quite easily given birth at home with my first, I was 8cm when I got to hospital and that's only because hubby forceably (sp?) lifted me out of the bath, dressed me and put me in the car! Nobody had ever mentioned homebirth to me then, 12 years ago.

It is a massive decision, part of mine is my other 3 and the very few precious minutes we would have to drop them off at the MIL's then get to hospital, but I'm still working on hubby as he is still firmly in the belief that hospital births are safer :) If he doesn't change his mind I'm going to go to hospital because I think he'll stress me out more panicking.

Does he know that you will get 2 midwives for the price of 1 at home Shelly?! At hospital, you can sometimes end up with 1 midwife for 2 women, where as it is the opposite at home!!

Honestly... men! Is he the one who has to push the damn thing out?!

They tried that on him too Detective :)

I hope you're right Shelly about the 2 being 'easy' And I know what you mean about ben

I hope you're right Shelly about the 2 being 'easy' And I know what you mean about being comfortable - I have no problem being in hospital to give birth (although HATED being on the ward, felt ignored & didn't even know where the shower was!!), its the getting there that worries me. I think my DH is quite happy with the idea, for all of the reasons you (& others) have said. And I wasn't concerned until I came across such absolute opposite views about it that suggested it was taking unnecessary risks & I wondered whether everybody would think that iyswim.

Oooops sorry!!

The only advise I think is worth listening to is professionals and couples/mothers who have actually done it. My son (second child) just slotted right into our routine from day 1, there was no upheaval at all. I had 3 children in 4 years so think that speaks for itself from my point of view, it's not because I'm a nympho . With my son I had him then went home, didn't bother with the ward and my third I did stay in but only because I knew I'd get more rest in hospital than home (the other 2 just constantly followed baby round :)). My first sounds like your experience, I didn't eat when I was in there apart from when a midwife took pity on me in the middle of the night (5 hours of constant breast feeding) and brought me some tea and toast, nobody told me they left meals in the day room.

Your heart will melt when you see the love between them (harder to see as they get older ), it's lovely.

I'm off to find that thread now and make my blood boil

Interesting reading! So the only health professionals against homebirths are the ones that actually deal with emergencies on a day to day basis, they also ignore all facts and studies mentioned and revert to emotional arguments. The professionals that actually deal with homebirths on a regular basis are all for it (to sum it up).

Very positive stories on there, both for home and hospital births from women with actual experience.

Indeed Shelly!! Spoke to DH about my concerns (i.e. would people react like some on there & suggest I'm trying to kill my baby?) And he was lovely. He said that, if that were the case, then all woman should have c-sections to remove 'risk' & put the control in the hands of the doctors, but he then said that it was a Dr that left a bit of placenta in our friend for both of her girls (so not just on one occassion, but twice) after her c-sections. Feeling a bit more sure of it knowing that he has confidence in my/our decision.

This homebirth chat is fascinating.

When I went for my history appointment at 10 weeks I was told I was an 'ideal candidate' for a homebirth. I was a bit taken aback - it wasn't something which had ever entered my mind never having given birth before. I was told to look into it myself and let them know. Ideally, I would have gone for a midwife unit my they don't have them here. After a lot of chat and soul searching, I decided to go for hospital birth but actually, I would have valued any professional opinion. I really appreciated that I was given the option but I have never done this before . . .

DH said he was happy either way but I am not sure he could get his head around where it would physically happen. I think he has in his head lots of medical equipment. It is written in my notes that we discussed advantages of water birthing - we did not. I fancy this but, again, know nothing about it.

Bless my widwife team, they all seem delighted that I am fit and healthy (I get the impression they see all of humanity) and almost forget that I will need a wee bit of hand holding as well.

In the end, all I really care about at the moment is a wee healthy minicrisp but I do know that to be told I couldn't do something for one-sided reasons would piss me off.

pass I wouldn't have considered it for DD either, as I felt I'd never done it before & wasn't sure how I'd cope or what would happen. I didn't want an epidural but wanted the option iyswim... This time I feel a bit more certain of it, although no 2 pg/births are the same are they? I am not anti-hospital or pro-home, just want a bit more calm/relaxed process this time around and hope that home will be the answer. I don't blame you for going for hospital at all!! :)

Chunky I saw your post and it's absolutely spot on.

I hadn't even considered homebirth before, everyone I knew just went to hospital to have a baby and nobody even mentioned it, it was just presumed. This time at my booking in appointment she saw how quick the last labour was and advised me that it would probably be my 'preferred' option but there was no pressure.

As I've said before, my first labour could quite easily have happened at home, I was comfortable in the bath and it was only hubby dragging me out and taking me up there at 8cm that made me have a hospital birth, I would have quite happily carried on at home.

I think for your first everything is quite scary and can see how hospital delivery is the preferred method. My son is extremely excited about the possible homebirth, he breaks out into a massive grin if you mention it too him, he said he'll help work on dad .

Pass Can you do a tour of your maternity unit? They should be able to answer all your questions about waterbirth there. I can't wait to hire a pool, I'll be in it all the time and will be gutted to send it back :)

Funny you should say that shelly as DH and I were just saying this the other day. The hospital is only just a year old and they have virtual tours online of the labour rooms. All looks nice but I have no frame of reference TBH. My only experience of it was when I was sent at 10 weeks to get blood taken. I ended up in maternity triage. In one of the consulting suites a woman was giving birth - she was so close to me I would hear every puff, pant and retch the poor woman. Her exhausted partner came out at one point to a waiting room full of people. At the time I had no idea that this wasn't normal. I was there an hour and was almost in tears I was so overwhelmed (not to mention feeling like a fraud as there one was fully active labour, one lady came in in the early stages and a girl came in for a scan who looked about full term). Midwives kept going in and out of this room and I was thinking, "but someone is in there giving birth - go away!" It was only later that I learned that the labour rooms were full due to a complex birth so they were spilling everywhere. After that experience, I was quite keen never to go back into a hospital again!

The epidural thing chunky was exactly what swayed me. I don't want an epidural but I want to be able to access one if need be.

I have just been on the thread you guys have been talking about - started so well . . . 99% of posts are reasonable and well stated whichever opinion they are stating.