Due in October 2012 - Part 5

[Kyyria]

Just starting us off on a new thread

Oh gosh, now there are two 'rival' due in October threads. This might get confusing!?

squid Glad to hear you're feeling better. Oh and I might have had a small taste of one or two of the wines, so I'm not that much of a hero!

Cwest It's great feeling those first kicks isn't it?! Until they land on your full bladder that is

Took me ages to find this thread! Serves me right for not posting for so long!

Had a lovely day with DH and the little girl I childmind then spoiled it all by lossing my temper with DS. Feel like the worst mum on the planet ad don't deserve this baby or DS .

This is me checking in to the new thread.

Bit annoyed about the move, by the way, Mumsnet HQ - you offered us the choice a while back and we declined - why do that if you are going to undermine our choice by moving us anyway. Also, this thread is all completely pregnancy related and as a newly pregnant person I would (and did) look in the pregnancy part of the forum first, it's how lots and lot of people found this thread. I would not know what "antenatal clubs" was about, would not look there automatically, and would not feel confident about joining one whereas I would be happy to post in a "due in..." thread in Pregnancy forum.

Anyhoo, rant over.

Hope everyone is well, I am overworked and feeling meh and that's all I've got to say.

This is me checking out of this thread and moving to the one in Ante-Natal Clubs. See you all over there?

Oh - I see what they have done. That's clever - if you post on the old thread, it appears here instead, and the old thread has been closed. I have selflessly made myself look like a total nobber so that no-one else has to . Nice of me, no?

You are generous YompingJo!

Someone had to do it Yomping!

Glad you're feeling better squid - it's natural to feel guilty after a long stretch off, but remember you've been signed off sick for a reason! Being a bean-oven needs you to take care of yourself!

Am feeling shattered today. God knows why, as I'm lucky to have a very cruisy job. It makes me feel guilty sometimes but then I remind myself it's just one of those jobs that requires very hard work some of the time, but not a lot of the time. Couldn't do this job my whole life as it's project-based and not stimulating enough long-term (uncertain if I'll come back after maternity leave, for instance), but it's perfect while I'm pregnant. Anyway, it just lends me to guilt/hand-wringing during quiet spells....

My baby has been very quiet today.... I want him to wake up and give me some kicks!! Hoping this quiet day is normal, he's been very active every day for about 2 weeks up to now....

Thanks yomping! Very grateful

Everyone's been busy!

squid glad you're feeling better. If you needed a few days' rest that's a good enough reason to have a few days' rest - does there need to be any reason above and beyond overdoing it? Fingers crossed for good results for you.

Smorgs well done you for being designated driver - that would've killed me! Mmmm, wine tasting...

wantanorange I've been losing it big style with DS a lot lately, and feeling incredibly guilty too. It happens; comes with the territory of being a. human and b. pregnant - it's not going to scar him, you're still his mummy and he knows you love him very much. Forget about it because I'm sure he already has.

londonlivvy shall be digging out the tapemeasure! My god I'm a WHALE compared to last pg though. My stomach muscles have waved a white flag and buggered off to Barbados or something (wish I could join them). Don't think I'll be bouncing back in quite the same way as last time. Feel like a heifer.

Time for food for me!

Thanks Dame, we've both said sorry and had a cuddle. I just saw red ad lost it, then walked into the kitchen and burst into tears! DH took care of us both.

Well, I've had a completely crap day.

To cut a long story short have worked at current place for 5 years. Boss was a knob (never turned up (either sick or fixing his holiday), never did work when he was there and offloaded onto me, left me to deal with crap things like complaints etc, played mind games). Ended up being off work with stress for 3months last year after suffering a humongous panic attack at work (never had one before then).

Despite 3.5years (at this point) of telling partners, it took them til I went off sick to do anything about it (they got a management consultancy in). When I returned my job description was overhauled and they made it clear what I had responibility for (i.e. what I could pass straight back to manager).

manager "retired" very suddenly in January and since then have been covering 2 jobs again (no extra pay) - replacement doesn't start for another 2 weeks and even then has a month induction so won't be taking anything over until August.

Fun this week has included senior partner going on holiday, not telling anyone else password for banking system, and me having to sort out manual bank transfers to get salaries paid on time. Staffing is low (whenever someone leaves their workload is spread around rather than being replaced) and have staff complaining they are stressed.

No pleases, no thank yous, no extra pay.

Last straw today was being told I have to cancel my annual leave on Thursday (which I'd booked off 4 months ago for my birthday) because the reception team leaders aren't in (one on hol booked 1 month ago, one on day off (only works 30hrs per week) but refuses to come in) and they want a member of management in.

Didn't get lunch break til 3:30pm today. Had tears. Ended up having panic attack. Stomach has now been spawning all afternoon and I'm paranoid about how much I've stressed out the little one.

Am hoping I can win the lottery between now and October and can tell them to shove it. Am going to have to go back to work to afford childcare but really tempted to hand notice in at first opportunity.

Have essentially spent 5 years being mindf*cked (pardon my French) by this place and keep on being told "you need to get over it and move on" as well as not to worry about things that aren't my responsibility (but even so keep getting dumped at my feet).

Am so annoyed/angry/upset they make me feel like this - wish I could get angry and shout rather than bursting into tears.

Stupid effing pillocks does Muttley impression

31, 21+2, #1

^spawning? I meant to say spasming, but I suppose technically it is spawning too

Hi all,
I haven't posted in a while - well actually I did post. On my phone. Very proud of it and loads of effort but I had lost signal, lost the message and could not retype.

Normally I work 4 days a week but due to tiredness I have reduced my hours to 3 days per week. Everything has improved as a result, (heartburn etc) but I feel a little guilty.
A curious thing happened this week. My first patient Mon morning was a girl of 28 with the same EDD as me (Oct 5). She already had a 4 yr old. She has swollen ankles and hands, low back and pelvic pain. She was working 5 full days in an office as well as 2 evenings a week in a pub. She is WRECKED. I felt positively youthful (at the ripe age of 45)I advised her to go straight to HR and see what options she could have to reduce her hours.

Squidkid It's funny, if you rest and bean is fine you wonder if you have over reacted. I was off a few weeks back with a bleed scare, but I really was tired at the time too. What is a few weeks at this time in our lives over a 40 year working life? I have a public sector job and I am paid for my sick time. This makes me feel guilty (my current day off a week is unpaid). I weigh it up though, what if I soldier on, disregard my body screaming at me to stop? I know logically that my body is not being indulgent. It tells me about hunger and thirst and it is busy now and does not need me to get in the way. I believe that if I push myself too much my bean could suffer - at a monetary cost to the state.

Mikey I read 50 shades of grey - I hated it. HATED it. I thought it was like a Mills & Boon storyline with domination/submission porn. I liked 'Fanny Hill - memoirs of a woman of pleasure'. I think it is a penguin classic , Lots of lace.

I saw my ObGyn last week. Apparently one of my 20 week blood tests was inconclusive so I have to go to the GP this week for a repeat. Also (TMI alert) I had a marble sized lump on my labia. Apparently it is a cyst and may need to be drained before the birth. Are we to be left with any shred of dignity in this?
I asked if 2 stone, 2 yr old climbing over bump could do any harm, he said no. Nature is a funny thing. I feel positively pummeled sometimes, but beans are OK with this.

End of looong post - 'night all.

Kyria crossed post - poor you.
Can you refuse to come in on Thursday. E.g. If you had booked and paid for a Spa day, you would not get your money back at this stage, they don't know which or whether. Say your DP had bought you one as a surprise, and you had booked the day off months ago. Terribly sorry, smiles and all of that but it's still NO.
Sounds like you need some assertiveness training.
Be glad there aren't loads of thank you's. Talk is cheap. If they regularly want you to take on responsibility above your job description, the 'thank you' I would want would be in my pay cheque.

Now I am definitely going for some ice cream and TV

Welp, now I know for sure - I am absolutely definitely facing discrimination at work on the basis of pregnancy.

Yaaaaaaaaaaay.

Here's the story - I'm on a fixed term contract, 6 months. It will be up on July 9. They like my work, and there's lots to do - I know they're bringing in maternity cover for my role - but, instead of another six month contract, I have been offered two months - timed to end when I leave work for baby-having.

After which I won't be employed any more.

With the promise that 'they'll see what they can do' when I want to return to work.

LIKE FUCK THEY WILL.

I'm actually quite sorry for the head of department - the poor thing is a classic guardian-reading type of a woman, young, hand-wringy, and who would never DREAM of discriminating - apart from, she did. Whoever advisedd her from HR was not competent, and poor girl, she just did not know what she was doing.

I quote - 'I know that doesn't have the job security you wanted.'

Gee, ya think?

Anyhow - fwiw, it's not just illegal to time a contract on the basis of pregnancy - its also the case that not renewing a fixed term contract is classed as 'dismissal', and if its on the basis of pregnancy, it is automatically unfair dismissal. Thus spake the equality act of 2010.

I'm being stompy, but TBH I feel lost, drained, stressed, and REALLY PISSED that I'm not actually doing my job - I'm on holidays as of Thursday, And my colleagues are depending on me finishing some projects that I can't because I'm busy looking up anti-discrimination legislation.

GRAAAAARGH!!

Ah man, kyrria, have now read back over prev posts - your story is way worse than mine.

Maternity leave must look like a blessing!

Maybe, afterwards, you can take the experience you've gathered from your role to another company?

And squid - rest up, lady. Like lizbethsopposite said, what's a week or two in a full working life?

Just seen the thread move, WTF, marking my place again...

Waving at everyone

I've a week's worth of posts to catch up on, my hands and feet are swollen at my desk so I'm going to catch up and post tomorrow but wanted to say 'Hi' and make sure I didn't get bumped off the topic! :)

See you all tomorrow! x

By the fjords, old, 23+2, first child (or is it actually Scrappy Doo in there?) Size of a large heffer

zoeplankton failure to renew a fixed term contract is definitely dismissal as a redundancy, and in your case then yes it would be unfair on the grounds you are pregnant.

DH had arguements with his HR place when they announced his FTC was finishing at the end of May, but that he wasn't being made redundant. They weren't going to pay him redundancy pay. He forwarded them all sorts of government websites that confirmed his situation and ended up getting 2 years statutory redundancy pay out of them as he told them he would take them to a tribunal.

There is definitely information out there - try ACAS or citizens advice as a starting point, but don't be afraid to threaten action.

And yes, mat leave is definitely a blessing and end of Sep can't come soon enough!

Sending hugs

31, 21+3, #1

I'm all Grr about them moving the thread too. I had no idea that ante natal clubs existed as a section until about two weeks ago and how are newbies supposed to find out?

Grr too re the various work sagas that you have, kyyria and zoe. Sounds stressful. I am mostly stressed about trying to sell my bloody flat. The latest buyer had just dropped out so I'm trying to beautify it for new set if pics which are being taken tomorrow. So was round at the flat, scrubbing shower screen, painting over scuffs and doing gardening at 11pm last night. Need to go round again tonight and attack the back garden. It makes me cross too cos the front garden is technically a shared responsibility with the upstairs flat but in the 10 years I've lived there they've never done anything.

Sorry to moan. Right, off to work with me.

Good grief, doesn't the world know not to mess with pregnant ladies??!

Yomping totally agree with you on the thread move but your response also made me

To the rest of you, I'm passing round a bucket of , a mountain of & to those who think fuck it fancy it, a wee one of these

Genuinely sorry to hear about all the crappy stresses people are having during, what should be, a magical time for all of us

Loopy I'll have a large if you don't mind

Wow, looks like I have EVERYONE'S problems at once hehe

We too are doing the whole moving house thingy, but hopefully it should be quite straightforward, we are selling our flat to the local council, and the house we are buying has no chain. The only snag is that we will probably get the keys to the house by the end of August, and it does need a lot of decorating, so we will be moving in with my parents til its done as don't want a heavily pregnant woman/newborn baby around paint fumes.

I too was employed to cover someone else's maternity leave. She isn't due back until January and I have already told work I will be leaving at the end of august. My 4 yr old is starting school in September, and what with moving house and getting a new baby, I think he needs and deserves a week or so on his own with mummy's full attention. Big big changes for a little one,

Morning all,new thread?? why??

Right,firstly apologies for being totally crap & missing birthdays & new additions to thread & all round :)

Have MW app this afternoon & am more terrified I will be told something is wrong more than I have been with any other app over last couple of months.I'm sure I can feel tiddler move but I start to question it that it's my mind playing tricks on me & I'm imagining it all.Really hope it's not the latter....

Those of you with work issues,jump all over it with the relevant guff/info you need to back your corner with.Nobody has the right to mess with your mat leave IT'S ILLEGAL!! Keep us posted hopefully we can channel our raging hormones to a good place :)

Hi all.. Oh dear we aren't having a good time at the moment are we?
Squid Get some rest. Don't argue with the docs- they know best. Don't feel bad about having time off either- sick pay is there for a reason and you are growing a little person- that combined with what you do for a living must make you the most hardcore person going!!

Kyyria and Zoeplankton Feel so sorry for you. Maternity leave has never looked nicer no? Work is shit. Make sure you know your rights- it goes a long way.

I can't remember who was asking about the mat-b1 form, but you should've had it at 20 weeks. Ring the midwife and get her to leave it at the docs for you..

In slightly better news; scan yesterday went wonderfully well :) we left it a surprise so we don't know what we are having, however the sonographer said she couldn't have told us even if we had wanted to find out- baby was being most uncooperative. I've been calling it a "he" by default though, i'm convinced I'm having a boy. (And secretly hoping oh dear!) Anyway, got some lovely pics (anyone else think a fiver for two photos is an absolute rip-off?!) and the baby is healthy, growing as it should be and everything looks fine. I don't think I realised how much I was depending on it being OK- I came home and slept for four hours straight, hooray! DP went off around the village with photos in hand and showed everyone he saw (bless), he got so excited. :D
I also treated myself to a sausage, bacon and (dare i say it) runny egg bap from the bakers. Slapped wrist for Mickey.... but it was soooo goood. :o

Massive sympathies to everyone who is feeling rubbish, lots of and to you all.. and a cheeky !
xxxx

Great news on your scan Mickey. We also decided not to find out but ours was also in an awkward position anyway. Kind of helped me think it was showing me were right not to find out by hiding it's modesty. Alas DD does not agree with the decision and wants to drag me to a Dr so she can find out if it is a brother or a sister. 4 year olds don't get the beauty of a surprise she also wouldn't think a boy was a good surprise - she thinks they smell

I am joining squid in bed after a few days of horrible BH's that haven't subsided. Probably due to another infection and had a horrendous 6 hours in maternity triage and missed the England match to boot. Already feel much better for a day of rest so will be up and at em tomorrow but sleep is restorative and lovely. We really should all do more of it.

Orange don't be hard on yourself. The hormones and the tiredness creep up on us all and we can't all be Stepford Mums 24-7. Tomorrow is a new day.

yomping I love it when you call yourself a nobber. You nobber