November 2012 - the boringly named fifth thread

[Stuntnun]

Previous threads:

1. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1412456-Nov-12-babies
2. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1432039-Due-in-November-2012-part-deux-no-cringy-thread-name-here
3. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1438916-November-2012-Duebies-Part-3-insert-cheesy-name-of-choice-here
4. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1449640-November-2012-bring-on-the-second-trimester

Does anyone know how blocking people on FB works? I want to unfriend someone as we clearly do not see eye to eye at all, so blocked them under settings. BUT they still appear on my friend list. I also don't really want them to know I'm doing it because it seems petite/immature but its just for self-preservation.

chunkychicken go to their profile and you will see a box saying friend with a tick by it. Click on that and it gives you options to do various things including an option to defriend. They won't know you have done this but it will probably become apparent to them at some point as you disappear off their friend list. I believe blocking someone just means they cannot write on your wall or send you messages. Anything you do will still come up on their newsfeed. This is my understanding anyway.

Thechick - It's horrible waiting isn't it? :(
Hopefully the time will fly by and by then you'll be feeling baby, i'm pretty sure I can feel mine moving against my bladder occasionally and have had a few little blips/pops today but still unsure. Hurry up the next 5 weeks, got a letter through with my scan date today - 26th June. Can't wait :)

Chunky - They shouldn't be appearing on your friend list, if they are then they may have another account, or try clicking on their profile and blocking them again as it should be automatic.
They may know you've blocked them if they try and find you, as you'll disappear completely to them, but if you don't see eye to eye then I doubt they would?

Also you have your reasons and there's nothing they can do about it, so don't worry.

Eliza - Blocking someone stops them from seeing anything and everything you do on facebook, your name won't even come up in the search bar, and vice versa. :)

I do find this thread so reassuring, as another one who felt the baby move early but then finds I've hardly had a flutter for a few days (tho think I can feel it back in action today).

I have just found out I have got a job interview next week. Very part time job but mostly working from home and permanent (my 2 criteria). Its too part time for me to get any maternity pay from and I wouldn't expect any leave, other than a couple of weeks straight after the birth. But I can't decide whether to dress to hide the pregnancy (15 weeks tomorrow so do show a bit) or to be very upfront about it in the interview. Hmmm....

We went to The Baby Show at the NEC today. We picked a cot and bureau ages ago and bought them (plus mattress) as there was 20% off. Then we ordered a travel system after playing with loads. It's a Mamas and Papas Sola

DH hates shopping so it was good getting the big stuff sorted in a single day. The furniture is a gift from my mum and we split the travel system between our two credit cards so not too horrific. Should be paid off in a month or so.

Still a lot to spend in a couple of hours

I am utterly pissed off. We were due to fly on hols tomorrow but DD is covered in the bloody chicken pox!!!! Had to cancel :(

Oh no izzy that's bad timing! :(

Thanks everyone, will tackle FB now :)

izzy :( :( :( gutted for you. No consolation, but are you covered on your insurance?

Should be, although i'm worried they wont pay out for the fact me and DH have stayed home. Could hardly go without him! even tho he suggested it1

Evening girls,
Just catching up on the thread. Welcome to the newbies, those that didn't get the nuchal tests done, that isn't good enough and you need to follow that up. The criteria has been shortened to perform the combined test so you need to have a blood test done before 20 weeks. Speak to your midwife.

Wading in on the age debate, I'm so glad you girls are reasonable. I'm not a big fan of facebook anyway and would be straight off here if chat got nasty. It really doesn't matter when you have a baby, and I'll tell you why I think that having a baby later should no longer be frowned upon. People are now living well in to their hundreds and if you think logically about it they were born when there was no nhs and lived through a war with poor nutrician. People in their 30s and 40s now are much healthier because if the time we live in so it is not unrealistic to think that the majority of our generation will see 100. I say good luck to all of us embarking on this journey of parenthood. Xxxxx

Amen nebbo could not agree more. Mums get too much flack from everyone else so why turn on each other? I was 27 when I had DS1 and I will be 34 when I have DC3 and I would not have it any other way.

Reading all about the scans really cheers me up when I am feeling icky. Is it wrong to now count down the days to my 20 week scan? Have to say that I am not relishing this pregnancy just want it over and a new born in my arms. Feel so exhausted and achy tho I am sure that will fade in a bit.

Hello newcomers! Hope you can sort out your insurance izzy can you reschedule the holiday if you get the money back?

We told the boys last week daisy. DS1 was really excited but DS2 did not seem that bothered until he started telling me what the baby would do. Have a sneaky feeling he thinks the baby will be like Baby Jake from cbeebies.....

Amen nebbo could not agree more. Mums get too much flack from everyone else so why turn on each other? I was 27 when I had DS1 and I will be 34 when I have DC3 and I would not have it any other way.

Reading all about the scans really cheers me up when I am feeling icky. Is it wrong to now count down the days to my 20 week scan? Have to say that I am not relishing this pregnancy just want it over and a new born in my arms. Feel so exhausted and achy tho I am sure that will fade in a bit.

Hello newcomers! Hope you can sort out your insurance izzy can you reschedule the holiday if you get the money back?

We told the boys last week daisy. DS1 was really excited but DS2 did not seem that bothered until he started telling me what the baby would do. Have a sneaky feeling he thinks the baby will be like Baby Jake from cbeebies.....

Nebbo - thanks for your post. DH and I have booked a private test as we were so unimpressed with the hospital. Also, time is very short and ee just dont have the time tonoush this now On reflection now, we're very cross with the way we were treated; particularly the fact we were not offered another scan or told to go and drink some caffeine/orange juice. According to the private scan place, that's pretty standard and would have got the baby moving in time. I'm also annoyed that the midwife I saw at the hospital didn't suggest another scan or just generally advocate better on my behalf. We're having to pay £200 for the scan. The money is not the issue but I'm annoyed we're even having to do this in the first place.

To date, I've been very go with the flow and happy to fit in an do whatever. However, I will not be doing so going forward. I feel now that I have to double check everything that I'm told and I can't trust that what is in our best interests will be done. this is not what I was hoping for in my relationship with the midwives etc. I feel Im going to have to rethink our choice of hospital generally - which was just based on oh it's close, seems ok online. Sure it will be fine. Not so.

DH is a dentist and works principally within the NHS. He knows all about the stresses etc. however, as he pointed out, that DOES NOT mean that you don't carry your job out properly and instead offer a less viable option untilnyou have made every attempt to use the best option Yes - its annoying having to re-book patients. But that's life. You also don't leave patients in a worried state (re the scan and the lack of movement).

I will not be accepting that it is not feasible to carry out the 20 week scan due to the baby's position and I will be insisting it is carried out properly/redone. If they can't or won't do that, I will be insisting on a referral to the consultant. I'm going to insist this is noted in my notes toon- so there's no "confusion". I realise now that I'm going to have to be much more proactive in dealing with the hospital and/or the midwives and check and challenge if needs be. which is frankly pretty tiresome.

Sorry - this is a huge rant but we were pretty shell shocked on Wednesday. We were just so relieved to see the baby and then worried about the movement issue that we didnt fully consider the implications of the nt test not being carried out. it was only after reading on line and speaking to the private scan company that we realised there was ways of getting the baby to move and/or we should have been re-booked.

Hope everyone else is well. izzy I'm v sorry to hear about your holiday . Off to catch up with the rest of the thread.

Sorry to hear that Izzy. DSS2 got chicken pox just before we were due to take a short trip earlier this year. It was so frustrating especially as he never got poorly just spotty.

Hi Everyone,
Am new here, due 25th November so nearly 13w. Just reading through the recent posts, I too am recovering from a horrid cold virus. Painful neck, throat of razor blades and endless self pity! Obsessed about whether to take paracetamol and ended up taking for a few days.

I am returning to work on Tuesday after having been signed off for 2 weeks with the nausea and exhaustion. Just hit a brick wall and felt I couldn't continue as I was. Have been feeling much better the passed couple of days - please may it continue!

Am waiting on my nuchal results - 3mm nuchal fold isn't great so there's some anxiety there. I'm 34 so no spring chicken but I'm hoping this won't be too significant. Fingers crossed all is ok. Anyone else waiting on nuchal? Anyone had 3 or higher?

I do have another question on something more trivial - DH and I purposely waited until I could get maternity pay (I work for NHS). We waited and tried and conceived immediately, which was lucky. However, babs is measuring big and even though I know my dates to be correct - DH works away- I miss out on maternity pay by 2 days accrording to my EDD. I was cheeky and asked the sonographer to change the dates and he refused. Anyone been in this position? Of course we should have waited another cycle but I totally forgot that the EDD can move. 2 days!!!

Fx

hi Fran -Welcome! sure you've probably done this already, however, if it's contractual (enhanced) sick pay, check the policy very carefully. Is your entitlement triggered by the EDD or the actual day the baby is born? If its the latter, then it's likely the baby will be late and you'll qualify.

If its smp, then you just need to be have been continuously employed for at least 26 weeks into the 15th week before the week your baby is due (the qualifying week). Basically have been there for about six months by the time you're around six months pregnant.

Sorry if you've done all this already but it's always worth checking the policy very carefully.

Sorry re the nt test. Mine couldn't be done see massive rant above! due to the baby's position so I'm having a private test on Tuesday. It's really worrying but sure all will be fine x

Hi Shinyblackgrape,

Thanks for the welcome and the advice. I've checked the policy carefully a dozen times and it's a year service at the beginning of the 11th week before the EDD. Bad luck. :-(

I've just read your posts on your scan - sorry to hear about the poor service you received and agree, you should probably become completely assertive in requesting the care you deserve. At my scan last week, babs was in the wrong position and was probably asleep. Prodding, wriggling hips and tilting the table failed to work. The sonographer suggested I go for a 20 minute walk and drink a can of coke, which I did. When I returned, he/she wasn't doing somersaults but fortunately moved into the right position. The sonographer explained that was the reason for the 30 minute appointment slots as many babies just won't play ball. But like you, i was worried about a drowsy baby and if it wasn't for the private dating scan a few days earlier which showed more movement, I would have been more worried. So of course the poor service you received compounds all anxiety. I hope your scan on Tuesday puts your mind at rest x

Izzy so sorry to hear your DD has chicken pox, and that you're going to miss your hol. :(

Shiny - You have every right to be pissed off, they clearly didn't carry out the procedure properly and therefore are in the wrong.
It's not fair as you said to leave the patient worried and it's certainly not fair you're having to fork out for something that should have been done in the first place!
Still - I hope the scan goes well on Tuesday. :)

Fran - Hello, I can relate to nausea and exhaustion, 3 months of it really took it out of me but luckily it's getting a lot better.
Definitely agree with shiny WRT maternity pay, make sure you check the policy thoroughly, 2 days is absolutely ridiculous though, i'm sure if you spoke to management about it they could arrange something.

Today i'm still a little worried, i'm feeling very sore/achey around my hips and abdomen, shooting pains down my right leg and up my back.
Anyone else had this or maybe know what it could be?

hI Fran that's bad luck if you can't get smp, but is it possible you could get maternity allowance instead? (think the details are on directgov).

That's rotton luck, izzy from experience I definitely recommend baths in bicarb of soda (for the DC, not you!)

swiss it might be the baby shifting position or could you have just slept a bit oddly.

Funnily enough, brocke my DS's only name suggestion to date has been "baby jake"! That is why I am not one of these people who lets their DCs name their next child!

Sat here supposed to do marking while DCs are with the in-laws having a big fry up. It's not fair!

With the NHS mat entitlement it is according to the (whatever) week as above, but the week is not to the day, but the week beginning Sunday I think. Maybe as it is not to the exact day, you may be lucky. Worth looking into, and I would suggest you apply anyway. You would be entitled to SMP regardless, and only get enhanced if you are going back after.

Thanks ValiumQueen. The wording is certainly open to interpretation. Am hoping DC doesn't become enormous before the 18 week scan and shift the dates further. DS was a big baby but I don't think they changed his EDD, although we were in a different part of the country.

On another note, unexpectedly received by nuchal results through the post - was supposed to hear of high risk by phone within a week or a letter of low risk through the post within 2. Have been nervously watching my phone and was convinced DC was high risk, due to nuchal fold being 3mm, my age (34) and my bloods being rubbish four years ago with DS. Anyway, risk is 1 in 167 (cut off 1 in 150). I almost cried with relief as I'm officially "low risk". Didn't take long for the doubts to creep in though. How would other people feel about these odds? Also, the letter mentioned downs but no mention of other defects. Do they actually test for these?

DH has just returned home after a week awayand has taken DS to the park so I'm off for a nap :)

Unlikely they would change due date now.

Fran when do you get your MATB1 form? I was thinking if you get it at your 16 week appointment you could tell the midwife you made a mistake with your LMP and that's why the baby was big at your scan. Then maybe she would change your due date. All the official calculations seem to run from the Sunday before your baby is due.

I don't think you get the mat1b form til after your 20 week scan. The midwife told me the EDD will be per the 12 week scan unless there was any reason to recalculate so I think you'd need to be very persuasive as they will probably check the growth against the EDD at the 20 week scan too.