Ok, here I go! 
(sorry, it is an epic post?)
As you know, on Monday (23rd) I woke in the early hours with period type cramps, and as time went on, it became clear that they were coming every ten minutes. The midwives on the antenatal ward monitored me periodically, but the CTG was not showing anything out of the ordinary. After a night of very little sleep (tiny catnaps in between each ten minutes!), Tuesday followed in much the same vein, but with the cramps significantly stronger than the day before, and now showing up on the CTG as contractions. I went to bed on Tuesday night with the registrar happy that they would either settle down, or if things did escalate, they were happy that BabyTea was a good size, in no sign of distress, had steroids to develop his lungs, etc.
2am Wednesday 25 April: Having had another night of no sleep, and as many painkillers as I was allowed, with contractions now every 7 minutes and the pain becoming more than I could bear, I may have thrown a tiny tantrum and the midwives called a doctor round to check on me. The internal exam showed me to be 2 ? 3 cm dilated, so at 4am they took me round to the birth centre. DH arrived soon after, with my caseload midwife and then my mum joining us later that morning.
My waters seemed to go mid-morning. They weren?t keen to do too many internal examinations, given my history of bleeding, so the plan was to wait until I had reached the magic 3 contractions in ten minutes, then examine me 4 hours on from that point. I was coping with the contractions just with paracetamol and codeine, and using breathing exercises from hypnobirthing / yoga. However, the contractions never seemed to ramp up ? occasionally there would be two or three in a ten minute window, but mainly they remained relatively far apart.
By early afternoon, the lack of sleep over the previous two nights caught up with me, and I was struggling to stay active (walk around, sit on the birthing ball). It also didn?t help that I was permanently strapped to the CTG, but baby was in an odd position, and the trace was often lost, especially if I leaned forward (sitting on the birthing ball and trying to have a sneaky snooze leaning on the bed 
). The contractions were also now coming in my back, and were getting increasingly difficult to deal with. We established baby was back-to-back, so I tried getting on my hands and knees to try and encourage him to turn around, but the pain together with the exhaustion meant I couldn?t keep that up. I gave up and lay back down on the bed.
We were all getting a little demoralised by this point, and I was in need of something else to help with the pain, so I started on the gas and air. I didn?t feel it really helped with the pain at all, but it did at least give something to focus on at the start of each contraction, and I then survived each one by continuing the breathing and making positive affirmations in my mind to get me through it .
At mid to late afternoon (I totally lost sense of time, so I?m not sure) my midwife persuaded the consultant to do another internal examination ? and I was 9cm! Everyone was very surprised. I decided to have an epidural, as I didn?t think I would manage if the pain escalated any further. The anaesthetist explained all the risks, etc., and I said I still wanted to go ahead ? however, because I had been so quiet and apparently calm (breathing through each contraction, no screaming or anything), he wasn?t convinced that I needed one, and tried to persuade me not to have one. At this, I burst into tears! So he agreed to do it after all
The epidural made me feel human again! It felt like just the boost I needed to get through the rest. Unfortunately, after a while, it became apparent that the epidural hadn?t distributed fully, and I could still feel pain down the left-hand side of my back. This was sort of useful, as it meant I could tell when I had a contraction (rather than relying on my midwife to tell me when), but it meant I could only manage about 4 pushes per contraction before the pain became overwhelming. Unfortunately, baby?s heartbeat began to drop at each contraction ? although it did recover straightaway afterwards ? but this meant the consultants wanted to get on with the delivery pronto. They recommended a forceps delivery with a small episiotomy ? I was disappointed, as I had been told they wouldn?t use forceps because he was premature 
. But my midwife and DH were great, reassured me, and kept me calm. The epidural irritatingly chose this point to wear off (I probably should have topped myself up sooner, oops!), and the contractions were too painful for me to concentrate on pushing, so the anaesthetist swooped back in and gave me something additional.
Keeping my eyes shut at the recommendation of DH (who watched the whole thing in great detail, which really surprised me!), BabyTea was delivered at 19:55, weighing 4 lbs 11.5 oz. The feeling as he left me was just the strangest and most amazing sensation ever. He was placed on my abdomen, wailing instantly, for a couple of minutes before being whisked over to the corner by the neonatal doctors to be checked over (I should say, there were about 12 people in the room at this point! It was certainly exciting).
My placenta came fairly swiftly after BabyTea, and it turned out that there had been a massive clot behind it ? THAT was the source of the bleeding it seems? and also quite worrying that the placenta obviously wasn?t very well attached to the wall of the uterus, and baby had done super well to get to that point and be so big and strong. DH went with baby to the neonatal unit, while I was sewn up.
The next few hours were just bizarre. I was drugged up to the max after the epidural and some infusion (sytocin??) which I was given to contract the uterus and try and prevent too much blood loss. I felt totally spaced out and confused (hence my post at the time ), like I didn?t know who I was or what was going on, even though I actually did. Weirdest experience of my life, for sure.
My lovely lovely midwife then had to go, having already stayed with me beyond her shift. Once the consultants had done the necessary checks on me, it was left as just me, my mum, DH switching between me and the baby, and the midwife in charge of my care overnight. Mum went home about 22:30, and DH came back with news that BabyTea had been transferred into NICU because of some difficulties breathing. DH was obviously very distressed by this, but also completely exhausted (I was still too out of it to really register what was going on), so I persuaded him to have a nap on the mattress on the floor.
The overnight midwife had a very thick Spanish accent, and it was quite difficult to understand her, and get her to understand me in my confused state, which was all a bit unsettling. They needed to do a full blood count, as they were concerned about the blood loss I?d experienced (about 700ml), but my veins are crap at the best of times, and following the delivery were pretty much non-existent ? the midwife poked me so many times with no success, then got another midwife to come and have a go, still with no luck. Then at about 2am, they needed the delivery room for someone else, so transferred me to a side room. Moving rooms was horrible ? firstly, because I had to stand up on my epidural-ised legs, the effort and difficulty of which caused me to break down into tears; secondly, having to put knickers on over a catheter and sit down in a wheelchair is extremely unpleasant; and thirdly, as I was wheeled down the hall, all I could hear were crying babies, and I didn?t have mine with me . God, it?s making me well up just to think about it! So into the side room, where DH has only a chair to sit on, and looks to be on the verge of passing out from exhaustion. He didn?t want to leave me as I was so visibly upset, but I persuaded him that he had to go home and get some sleep, as there would be nothing either of us could do until the morning. One of the doctors came round at 2am and finally managed to take some blood, after which I fell asleep and awoke at 6am ? to find that other post-natal women had been put in the same side room with me, with their babies .
Thankfully, the midwife who took over my care in the morning was absolutely lovely, and could see how upset I was, and worked on getting me ready to go visit BabyTea in NICU as soon as possible. DH arrived, we were transferred to the post-natal ward (where I got my own room ? looking right out over the Houses of Parliament! So fricking cool), and whizzed straight over to NICU. BabyTea was doing very well, having been on C-pap (?) overnight, but no longer needed additional breathing support. That afternoon they moved him back to the lower dependency Specialist Care Baby Unit (SCBU).
So that?s the story of BabyTea?s birth! We are now on day 5, and he has been doing incredibly well ? even some fairly good attempts at breastfeeding! The doctors today were very surprised, as apparently the sucking reflex doesn?t generally develop until 33 weeks gestation. He was taken off his heated mattress 2 days ago, but today his temperature was quite low, and he wasn?t really digesting his food, so we put him back on the heated pad this afternoon ? his temp came right back up, and he digested all of his 3pm and 5pm feeds . I have agreed to leave breastfeeding attempts for a few days, so that he can stay wrapped up nice and warm while he is tube fed, and I can continue to express while he does so. My milk supply has come in really well, which is great ? especially because they did have to start him off on some formula, and his tiny tummy really didn?t like it. Now we are exclusively on breastmilk. He was a little jaundiced, but below the line at which he would require phototherapy, and the yellowness seems to be fading now.
It is strange trying to adjust to life as a mum, when it is effectively part-time ? we come home in the evening and leave someone else to look after our baby . But at least we know he is in the best hands, and as long as he continues to do well, we should be able to bring him home in a couple of weeks.
I am dying for the point when I can just hold my baby all day long.