PART 2!! The-Knicker-Checking-Boobs-a-Swelling-Carb-Craving -Christmas-and-New-Year-Shaggers-all-aboard-the-Se pt-2012-Baby-Bus

[Loup23]

Hoping to carry on the brilliant thread started by misscoffeenwine which was so popular we got to 1000 posts before starting another - come over and join me...... Promise to think of a more original name for Part 3!

rightontime I bought a doppler weeks ago, and I love it! I'm not addicted to it, I only use it occasionally when I wanted extra reassurance eg after being ill for a few days. I used it yesterday morning and could hear heartbeats of approx 150 bpm! It's so reassuring!! :)

I ummed and aahed and decided not too Rightontime I decided I couldn't trust myself not to get addicted to it and also that I would panic myself stupid if I couldn't find it for whatever reason. Also my mw told me in no uncertain terms it was a 'bad idea' given what happened with dd2. As if I'd had one then I would have listened in, heard the heartbeat, felt reassured and gone to bed as I'm not trained to pick up the decels that indicated her distress. Mw also said I could ring up and go in and see a community mw any day as there is always a clinic.

I think they can provide reassurance but please please please anyone who has one - later on in the pregnancy concentrate on your babies kicks and movements. If you think something is off don't rely on the Doppler to tell you it's all okay - go in and have a proper ctg trace at the hospital. Please.

Am just counting down the weeks til regular movements now. Am 17 weeks this week so not too long!

Thanks whatever I wasn't going to get one but I have spent the last week telling myself that the baby is dead and waiting 3 weeks until the scan is a nightmare. Because I never felt regular movements last time I don't trust myself or my body to tell when something is wrong so, I don't know. I just feel a bit lost at sea right now with nothing to confirm that the baby is ok and no signs that it is not. I guess it is just that limbo stage everyone else is at but as I am approaching the time the last baby died I am getting highly stressed. I spent Friday in tears and poor DH couldn't do anything to make me feel better. He did try to be fair.

I don't think I'll get addicted to it and I only really want it until I can feel those movements. I was feel some little squirming but that seems to have lessened, or I have got used to it and stopped noticing. I intend to get one of those count the kicks bracelets too.

10weeks ago I was feeling so happy and confident about the whole thing and now I am a complete emotional wreck.

I'm sorry I do try not to vent on here as I know everyone wants to enjoy their pregnancy and not listen to me moaning but I just feel so helpless.

Oh Rightontime I know the rising panic all too well. I'm terrified all the time too. Big hugs - all I keep telling myself is I have no reason to think anything is wrong and to take it one day at a time. Like you I can't wait to feel regular movements, but to be honest I don't think I will relax or really believe that all will be well until the baby is born safe and healthy.

Can you speak to your midwife about going in asap for a reassurance check? I'm sure they wouldn't want you feeling so scared and anxious xxx

Hi rightontime, I think this is the perfect forum to share your worries and fears; I feel so much better knowing that it's not just me spending most of my time worrying. When bad things have happened in the past it's so hard not to think they will again. I don't think I will get a Doppler though, I know I would be checking all the time: just counting the days till next Monday's 16 week check and concentrating on the squirmy flutters I can feel (which of course I'm probably imagining but are comforting me)

Methe I really really hope the consultant can help your baby - am thinking of you.

Rightontime please don't feel you can't say things on here - we are all here for each other.

Methe I am so sorry, it sounds like you've been and are going through such an awful distressing time. I am thinking of you and hoping they can help you and your baby.

lurkingmurking I agree with you, Rightontime please feel free to write any worries you have on here, it's what it's for....definitely not just the good stuff....it really helps to share. You're bound to feel the way you do considering what you've been through before, it's completely understandable and to be expected. I think if I were you I'd try to get another reassurance scan, they can only say no and should understand it's not based on nothing, it's because you've had a horrible experience before. It's not good for you to feel so worried and upset and I'm sure they'd want to help with that if they can, although I know some areas are stricter than others. I was given one early in my pregnancy as I was so worried I'd lose another baby and it helped a lot. See what they say? x

Fingers crossed there is something they can do methe.
Just got my screening test back. 1 in 1800. Absolutely thrilled with that as in my forties. Last result was 1 in 850 when I was in my thirties.

i think there is a hell of a baby boom this year, not only am i pregnant, and all you guys, but someone my DP works with is also expecting, about 4 weeks after me, and just found out a friend is due 3 weeks after me! plus someone i met through NCT when having DS is due in a couple of months, my baby signing teacher is due in the summer, and someone i used to work with is also due in a couple of months! and i think 5 or 6 mumsnetters who had children when i had DS are all expecting too!

Hope you've had positive news today methe and that your baby is still going strong inside you. How long before they will know if the waters will replenish?

Loopy I know at least 10 people in real life who are preggers and due August or September - crazy!

Methe wanted to send my best wishes been thinking about you, really brings tears to my eyes.

Midwife went well last week although I didn't get to hear the heartbeat, but the midwifes asked me to come back at 19 weeks, I've got my first consultant appointment on Thursday letter says have full bladder take it theyll do a scan? im glad but a bit nervous too.

I've been diagnosed with spd its not so bad today but has been really painful, im booked to see a physio asap. Anybody else got or had this? I don't know what to expect I've been told it'll get worse as the baby gets bigger and will only go after the baby arrives fingers crossed.

So sorry to hear some of you are reaching sad milestones from previous losses - I completely understand though my losses were much earlier so now I somehow feel I'm through the worst, though of course you can have problems at any point at all in pregnancy as some of you know so well.

I'm sure that if you make it clear how much distress you're in they'll let you go for a reassurance scan rightontime, surely it will support your mental health and so your overall wellbeing and so they should go with it.

I have just had my nuchal/combined test results and baby has a low risk of 1 in 75,000 which I'm really pleased about. They didn't tell me when to expect the results and I forgot to ask (was so excited about the scan I had same day) that it was nice to get the letter after 12 days rather than the weeks and weeks I was expecting after some of the stories on here!

Still not showing or busting out of my clothes and people are starting to look a bit sceptical when I tell them I'm 14 weeks pregnant - it's hardly like I have a washboard stomach! But then a colleague today said she wore the same jeans throughout her two pregnancies, just worse them under the bump, so maybe I'm not completely odd.

Thanks for all your kind words everyone. You are making me cry. I feel a bit silly asking to be seen or for a reassurance scan as I only had a scan just over a week ago and its only 3 weeks till the 20week scan. Its also a bit of a pain as I refuse to go for scans without DH. I was on my own when I found out we had lost the last baby and being alone as well as having to phone DH and find the voice to tell him over the phone is the worst thing I have been through in my life. DH works nights on the traintracks so needs to be awake and alert in his job and can't take time of at the drop of a hat because they may potentially have to close the track until he does his job.

I would try and see my MW but I hate her and trying to get past the receptionists for an appointment is highly unsuccessful anyway. As I say, just feels like I am on my own and unless I explain to every person I speak to what has happened no one wants to be helpful but I don't want to have to plead my case just for someone to listen to the heartbeat. Is it too much to ask that they care about me and this baby not just appease me because I beg them to due to my history. Sorry, going off on a tangent. You can see I don't hold the health care professionals round here very highly.

Thanks for listening to me moan.

jules22 i had spd when pregnant with DS and wasn't pleasant but it could have been worse. Mine was helped by resting, and the main triggers were opening my legs too fast or unequally....quite comical looking back but the first time it happened we were out at a restaurant. I went to get up from the table to leave at the end of the meal, the same way i always did, by pushing the chair back, putting right leg out to the side with the intention of the left one following. As i transferred my weight onto the right leg, i had pain like i can't begin to describe, and my leg couldn't take any weight on it and felt like it was going to buckle. I hadn't a clue what to do so sat down for a few minutes then tried again, but the pain was awful, i ended up hobbling out on DP's arm, and i waited outside whilst he got the car so i hadn't got to walk any further. When we got home, i was sore when i got out of the car, but i could walk again, so the time sat in the car with my legs together must have helped right things. The worst cases i've heard of through people i know are needing crutches through pregnancy, and one friend had it and then had to have a ventouse delivery with stirrups, they didn't know she had spd and they opened her legs too far in the delivery and she couldn't walk for weeks after, and had to have months of physio. So as i said last time i was lucky, and my spd disappeared after the birth. This time i fear it might be worse as i already have signs of it, which is much earlier than last pregnancy, and the symptoms are worse. Couple that with not being able to rest due to having a 16 month old, and i am very worried about how i will do this time. Have my 16 week appointment with the midwife today, and a consultants meeting on Thursday so will be raising it at both and hoping they can provide more help this time round! I also had pain in last pregnancy with sitting down on hard surfaces, which i now think might have been from my coccyx. Will also be raising this, as it never got better after the birth and is getting worse now. Not sure if linked to spd or not.

poss TMI but one of my current symptoms i'm concerned about is that i feel like i've been kicked very hard between my legs, and i haven't, and there hasn't been any recent sex so there should be no reason for any tenderness down there, another thing making me worry that spd will be worse this time :(

Aw rightontime sending you a big hug. Im 17 weeks tomorrow/Thursday and alternate between being unbelievably happy and worried sick something going to go wrong! I also have found only when I've explained my history that they seem to care! Its wrong, I hope you get reassurance soon take care x

Thanks loop just don't know what to expect some days it horrendous like im being kicked up from down below sorry if tmi, pains up my legs and back. Some days im fine but now know not to do anything silly when im fine or I'll pay for it the following day. Physios booked for two weeks time and my mw gave me a note for my boss re not stretching ect felt like doing a little jig obvs not though id be in agony!

Well after yesterday's elation I am back down to earth with a bump. I have a really bad cold. It's awful not being able to take anything
Also told an old friend of my pregnancy on the day she was having infertility investigations. Feel so rubbish.

Hello all. Just checking in. I had my 16 week (although am 17 weeks) midwife appt today and heard the heartbeat! Wonderful, especially as I had been stressing so much about not feeling pregnant. My expanding tummy says otherwise anyway. I still wonder how I can't feel something the size of my hand moving around inside me but hopefully I will in a few weeks!

Good luck to those with scans/ 16 week checks coming up and sorry for those going through a tough time. My own MC was quite early (10 weeks) so I fortunately don't have any bad associations with this time as I never got this far before. From that, I should take comfort but still, roll on 20 week scan and roll on September!

Congrats to all for positive appointments and NT results.

I understand your not wanting to justify yourself with every request rightontime and that you wouldn't want to go alone to a scan. I refuse to and make DH go with me.

Was wondering if anyone has had a friend reject them due to getting BFP? Have friends for whom TTC has been horrific. Our journey was a long and fraught one but the fertility gods smiled on us and we got miracle BFP whilst waiting for IVF. Since finding out I'm pregnant one of my friends has refused to speak with me and is avoiding me completely. Im really hurt but am aware that she suffered an early mc last year so am reluctant to confront her. Any advice?

A lot of my best friends have 2 children by now and at the point where I'd only had two MCs I did feel very blue about this - not with them but with the situation, but it was really really hard going round and being all fun with the kids while very down about it all. And it was hard to take if they moaned about how hard it is having kids running round all the time/waking them up in the night/having to sort childcare etc when all we were thinking was "well we'd love to have those "problems"! You get very bitter but you either have to hide it or avoid people - I think if your friend has withdrawn from you it means she can't handle the situation and might say something she'd regret so it might be to protect you rather than because she's angry with you that she is avoiding contact. Deep down she will know it's not your fault, and you having a baby doesn't make any difference to her chances of having one, but it is really bloody hard and being rational just doesn't work in these circumstances. The fact that very very many of us who have MCs feel similarly suggests that it's not a choice to feel that way.

I think you just need to make it clear to her that you still want to be friends and will be delighted when it's her BFP that you can talk about, but that you understand it's hard for her to see you just now. Email might be best as just seeing or speaking to a pregnant friend might send her tearful at the moment. She may come round, she may not, but you will want to feel like you did the right thing. It sounds like you're a really good friend, she should come round in time.

Thank you Funchum8am for your advice. Maybe indirect contact would be best...

Twizzle Your friend is probably feeling bad for her own situation, not to say she is not happy for you but she is dealing with her own feelings in her own way. Indirect contact might be best?

I know when I lost my baby a friend was due 2 weeks after I would have been. At 37weeks ish she was complaining to me about being pregnant. I couldn't believe she was say it as I should have been pregnant too or holding a newborn. I didn't have that any more and she did. I wanted to say please remember who your talking to and think before you speak but I think sometime pregnant lasies and new mums get quite wrapped up in themselves. That is in no way meant as a bad thing but it can be quite hard on those of us left without. Hope your friend comes round once she gets used to the idea. Same to you York

I have 2 sisters, one is pregnant and due the day before me and the other has been TTC for over 3 years. I can't imagine how tough it is for my sister who hasn't conceived. I keep wishing I could do something to help her but I guess there isn't really. I try not to talk about my pregnancy unless she brings it up but I do feel awful that in 2011 I conceived twice and she has had no luck at all.

In more positive news I have just found a heartbeat with my doppler. Spent ages listening to my heartbeat and the whoosh of the placenta and then I eventually found it, it disappeared, I found it again and it went. I managed to pin it down long enough to count the beats to make sure it was the baby (and it was) but little one was obviously not impressed as I had to chase it to keep hearing the beat and it was really uncomfortable to keep the doppler where I could hear it even though I wasn't pressing hard. I guess baby must having been kicking it to try and get it to go away! I was surprised how hard it was to find at this stage. I am 17+3 made sure I had a full bladder and plenty of gel etc and it still took ages, I nearly gave up. Still I am chuffed to bits that I found it I might start believing that I am feeling movements rather than putting it down to wind now.

Thanks rightontime. Friend was pleased for me but I know she must be hurting inside. I do understand how she must be feeling as believe we had problems conceiving our 1st child. We were in the process of having IUI when I conceived. Must be fab to hear heartbeat too.

Glad to hear MW visit went well elliemay, hope yours went ok too Loopy.
Had mine today; MW was over an hour late as she was delivering a baby - fair enough! I got to hear the heartbeat though which I wasn't expecting; a very welcome bonus.

We're off on a much needed holiday on Saturday, I can't wait to get the bump out for a bit of tanning. I really hope I come back to lots of good news from everyone, good health and positive baby vibes.
Thinking of you misscoffee at this testing time & well done rightontime for finding the heartbeat; hope that is the boost you need to feel a bit more confident about everything :)

hi ladygagoo yes my appointment was ok, the midwife was off sick, so someone else was filling in for her and was also running late. Also got to hear the heartbeat, blood pressure low at 90/50 but i never have high pressure so they don't seem too worried, and had a chat about my DS's birth as she wanted to know how things ended up going so wrong and how i felt about this one and whether i would opt for an ELCS. She was far nicer than my normal midwife, really kind and i almost ended up crying as was nice to talk to someone who seemed to actually care rather than just being another name on their lists.

Got an appointment with the hospital consultant tomorrow, and hoping that she is a nice one. Will hopefully feel better about everything once that is over with. Just got so many things whirling round in my ahead re my options and the risks involved, and will be good to hear what she has to say. I think it is likely an ELCS will be the safest route for me and baby after DS's birth, the only negatives to this seem to be i won't be able to pick up DS or drive for 6 weeks but tomorrow should make things clearer in my mind.

Hope everyone else is doing well, and still thinking about you methe.