We will have a calm and worry-free pregnancy with lots of jumping beans and bouncing babies and will BROOK NO ARGUMENT on that (Part 7)

[TooImmatureTurtleDoves]

Hey Purple the reason I'm leaning towards the elcs isn't to do with my general terror of giving birth - I'm pretty terrified of the elcs as well! The reasons why I think an elcs would be best are much more in line with everything Dream said - basically the huge dangers of any vb complications resulting in an instrumental delivery or emcs. I'd rather the managed risks of a elcs over the high and unplanned risks of forceps or emcs. Forceps could leave me unable to walk for a long time, and the risks of an emcs for a person with fibroids is very high - especially if I happen to need one at 3 a.m. when there are no senior consultants available. The more I think about it the more I think I need to really get into with the consultant again, and fight for an elcs.

I have a GP appt on Monday, an appt with my indep mw on Wed, and I can get a physio appt this week at any time. I think I'll talk to them all about this issue this week, and depending on what they say I think I'm going to need to suit up and get serious about requesting an elcs. I guess I start by asking for another consultant appt and raising all my concerns for the third time. I need to make it clear to them that I'm going to keep pressing this. If they say no again I need to start writing letters. If I leave this until my 36 week appt I worry that that they'll just fob me off with delayed appts and late responses to my letters, and just wait for me to go into spontaneous labour.

I'm sorry to hijack the conv with me me me! I'm just a bit obsessed with it all at the moment - too much free time! I spent an hour on the phone to my Mum about it this morning as well. She's hugely anti-cs after a difficult personal experience with an emcs, but she agrees that managing the risks upfront via a elcs is safer than ending up with an emcs with my risk factors.

Argh I'm STILL talking about me! I'm sorry again. I hope everyone is having a relaxing Saturday and is getting a little respite from all the aches and pains? Are any of the DC feeling better / sleeping better / behaving better? It seems as though we all like quite similar names at the moment, I wonder if we'll end up with any new babies with the same names?! Perhaps we should arrange for all No Brooker kids to have "Brooke" as a middle name?!

Scream the cds also have a csection birth one. You just seem so anxious :(

Thanks Purple, and you're right I'm way too wound up about the whole thing. I just want it to be settled, and to start mentally preparing for it. I will try the hypno CDs once I know what the plan is. Thanks for the suggestion.

Scream, talking to everyone this week sounds like a wise idea. I'd also make it clear that you've thought of the positives and negatives of both ELCS and vb, so they don't think you're just avoiding vb just because.

I like the idea of Brooke as a middle name! Not sure DH likes it though!

My council trial pack of nappies came earlier so DH and I spent some time playing with those - DH is now very adept at nappying up a teddy bear . Still not a huge amount clearer over which particular ones we'd like, but I think I may be swaying him! The Moby came yesterday, so we also played with that (and the teddy!). DH seemed to like it a lot, which is a good sign - after 9 months of carrying this LO, I think it'll definitely be his turn when it's finally here...

Other than that, Saturday seems to have flown by ridiculously quickly. Not impressed!

Hi, we spent a long time at Halfords looking at seats and bases. The britax base doesn't fit very well in our car so we tried the maxi cosi cabriofix. This seems a lot more adjustable and more secure but is not compatible with the pushchair we want!

Hmmm,

So, for our lovely weekend away, we have now got a flat tyre on our car. No spare as we have stupid run flat type things, which are flat. Can't get wheel off, can't drive car. Car abandoned a 45 min drive away as RAC can't come until tomorrow

And DS is poorly with a temp and stomach bug

Not going great so far......

Oh biscuits - that sounds rubbish. I'd normally say have a large glass of wine but obviously at the moment not so good!

Hope your ds is better soon too. Dd has been really suffering today with her mouth. Seriously does anyone here have a healthy child?!

Biscuits that sounds pretty awful. Poor DS, I hope he's not getting what mine has. They told us at the hospital that the area is rife with it at the moment Have you got Calpol with you to bring down his temp?

pomme I hope your DD feels better soon. I'm getting really fed up with DS's illness. It feels like it's been dragging on for ages, and he's so miserable and tired it's making him play up far more than usual. I hope you feel better yourself soon as well.

Scream I hope you can get some answers this week. It's horrible for you that the stress of worrying about the birth seems to be taking a shine offthe pregnancy for you. I'm sure you'll get it all sorted, you have fantastic support from your independent MW, and I know you'll state your case assertively and articulately. Plus we're all brooking for you.

jaggy I hear you with the achey hips. Turning in bed from one side to the other is becoming torturous! I have to sit up fully in between or it hurts too much.

Having another crappy weekend here. DS has been a nightmare for me all day today. Tantrum after tantrum. I'm really hoping it's because he's ill and he's not turning into a terrible toddler. Plus I spent this morning cleaning windows, which is never enjoyable.

hi all,

had a much better day than expected- dh has done no revision (!!) and we went to meet his friends at a soft play and then for a walk. City mini did offroad snow musical, I put a pic on for you as we hadn't taken a carrier as we didn't expect to do any off road walking

DD is not very ill.... coughing and mild upset tummy. Your poor dd pomme (and I wish I could shake off my cold/sore throat etc too...) but you must be 36 and a bit, 37 weeks now? You're actually close whereas I am not!

biscuits, sounds rubbish. Ill ds being the worst... Am I being thick but why can't you drive on run-flats?! and dont punctures and flat tyres happen at the least convenient times..? Amazing how they plan it so well

wants, I thought 28 weeks was the third trimester- that's what I counted as being in it! The britax is hopeless in our car too- if I can't pad it out or get a proper newborn insert for it I really think I'll have to buy another seat. I never bothered with seat thatw ent on buggy- they can be in them for such a short time- how far can you get, and out car/onto buggy and home within the 90 minute window anyway?!

scarlet sure it's just that he's not feeling good- I'm not nice if I feel ill too. Hope he's properly better soon, but I know what you mean- over the last few months I've been constantly gritting my teeth and drawing on extra patience reserves with a whingey and off-colour but not totally ill dd- it's such hard work...

slightly nervous today- been having pretty strong braxton hicks at least every 30 minutes, sometimes more. Sure it doesn't mean anything, and I did have loads with dd and never ever went into labour but not sure if it was this many this early... Not painful though, definitely not contractions or anything. I need to rest up and chill out!

oh, and biscuits, was dh freidns and their sporn we were at soft play with- one of the anaesthetists told me she's done spinals for CS at all times of dy and night if elcs was booked- she has had to hear all about my third degree tear when I was suffering afterwards and specifically said she's done several for women who'd had a third degree tear and booked an ELCS but gone into labour before that date and not wanted to try labour. So with a third degree tear history I am sure you should be able to request one if thats what you want.
scream, did you say you wanted 3 dc? The only thing that would really put me off ELCS was wanting more DC (DH insists we're having no more ) as the scar tissue can be a problem, and adhesions. My step sister has had 3 CS- first EMCS but not a crash one, for failure to progress, then a crash section for placental abruption, so then had to have a CS (she hated them, she said she's have tried for a VB again if they'd let her!) and her third, the planned ELCS was the worst- they had big problems with old scar tissue and adhesions (plus she felt it with some problems with the spinal, but that's not usual). They have advised her it would be an unwise choice to have a fourth pg and CS due to the amount of scar tissue and adhesions- which is unavoidable with multiple sections. That's why if this was one I would try normal delivery to avoid having 2 CS. I'm sure you've thought about all this anyway. And my step sis does have 3 dc with 3 cs, just problems with pain +++ and healing with her last.

jaggy, I don't really love any of the other boys names, bar Finnian which DH isn't keen on- ah well, you'll love the child regardless!

anyway, dd complaining in her cot and computer won't recognise its charger and bout to die...

oh biscuits poor you and poor ds. I really hope he feels better soon. In fact as someone else said, I really hope ALL the poorly dc get well soon as there seems to be a lot of them about at the moment.
I have eaten far too much pasta and now I am debating strawberry cheesecake but I may have to wait till my dinner subsides a bit. Dp is out yet again. However I can forgive him as he bought theatre tickets out of the blue for a couple of weeks time and sorted a babysitter out too.
I have a question on car seats. We have the maxi cosi cabrio but we didn't own a car when ds was born so we never bought a base for it. We don't have isofix in our car as its too old, does anyone know what/ if we can get a base for it?

Scarlet and Pomme I'm so sorry your DC are feeling so unwell. I do hope they get lots of sleep tonight and feel much better tomorrow. I hope Dream's DD shakes off the last of her symptoms as well (plus a good night's sleep for both you and her!)

Wants I understood the third tri starts at the beginning of 27 weeks as well. That's what all my apps / pg calendars say. It's a bit of a grey area though because it's not really an official thing, HCPs don't use it as much as just the number of weeks.

Dream I appreciate your comments about the number of cs operations, and future complications, but as much as I think a straightforward vb would be best the fact is I might end up with an emcs even if I plan a vb. The chance of complications from an emcs compared to a elcs for anyone (i.e. ignoring my fibroids) is much higher. I just mean that the fact that your step sis's first two cs's weren't planned may well have contributed to the amount of scarring and adhesions she ended up with. The research I've read suggests that generally they don't worry about "too many" sections until you get beyond 3. It's only beyond this number that there is an increase in complications with additional cs's. I do like the idea of 3 DC, but I'm honestly not sure if I ever want to go through pg again, let alone twice more.

The max number of kids I would have would be 3, but I'm really seriously considering adopting after having this first child (once there's an appropriate age gap). It's not just a reaction to how much I hate being pregnant, I've thought for years that I would like to adopt, particularly because of the shortage of ethnic minority adopters in the UK vs the number of minority children waiting for homes. DH and I discussed possibly having two DC of our own, waiting a few years, and then adopting 1 or 2 younger kids later on, and we had these discussions before we were even married. After my experience of this pg I'm really thinking that I might not have any more bio DC, and I've already mentioned this to DH in the last few weeks. He wants to wait until this LO is with us before we start having those discussions seriously though.

you can get the EasyBase ninja. The isofix one does go in with a seatbelt too, but unless you're planning on changing the car it's be a waste as it's a bit more expensive.

X-posts with Ninja. We've just bought the maxi cosi cabriofix as well, and although we do have isofix in our car (so we've bought the easyfix base) I also came across a base called the "easybase" which is apparently the non-isofix alternative. I believe it's a base which is locked into place by the seatbelt.

You can have a look here.

True scream, very true- EMCS, especially my step sisters second which was a true crash section, are much more trauma- they told her she was 90 seconds from her second DC being dead after it- she was so traumatised for weeks over it. Sorry, I was generally unhelpful, and am not in any way meaning you shouldn't go for ELCS. And a very noble thing to do to adopt. Did you see that programme on adopted kids recently? I was so sad for them al- any I used to see waiting for homes I'd be desperate to get a place.... I used to see an angelic looking (but far from angelic!) child who went nationally for adoption 7 times, no takers . I see kids with difficulties, or NAI (non accidental injury) kids though with resulting disability so much harder to place but so sad...

Dream your comments were very helpful! I need to make sure I've really considered all the risks, and that's a particularly good point for anyone only on their first DC (such as me!). I'm impressed you remembered I want 3 DC as well - has your memory actually IMPROVED with pg or is it always this good?! Perhaps you've managed to pick up all the brain cells that have abandoned me over the last few months?

I haven't seen any programmes on adoption actually - what was this one called? Might see if I can track it down online.

lovely thanks. Will do some research on where to buy. At least I know how to fit the seat with just the seatbelt if I don't get round to it before bean arrives. There was me thinking I didn't need to get much but the list just keeps getting longer.....

I have just researched the bases ninja, winstanley's pramworld was cheapest I found, I bought 2 weeks ago- worth checking. Free postage.

scream it was ? 2 programmes, or ? a series. Following children seeking homes. we can't remember what it was called, I cried when 2 sisters got adopted... Also watched the one where the woman who was runner up on the Apprentice, the ethnic minority woman, cant remeber her name memory not so good!) adopted her daughter too...

cheers dream
I think adoption is a lovely thing to do. I'm sure you have to jump through a whole world of hoops for it to happen but what an awesome thing to be able to do for someone.

I have a pebble this time and I am impressed, much more padded than the cabrio and longer, my dinky Dd fits in it (great as need to get her a group 1 and need to try it out) and she grew out of cabrio so it will last longer, there is also higher sides so would imagine side impact protection is better too. As we are talking car seats :)
Wants I wouldn't dismiss a well fitting car seat due to pushchair compatibility myself, as baby is not supposed to be in there more than 2 hours. I also after paying for adaptors .etc used it ooh maybe 5 times on the pushchair? Obviously this is just my opinion!

Scream I am sorry your so anxious about this, even with all the reading you have done the chances are still that a vaginal birth would be absolutely fine. I say this just because it might be that you do end up having one, just to reassure you. With an EMCS they will still know your history, especially if you raise it with every single person that enters the room! And it will be carried out by someone highly qualified. Can you have another scan to check on your fibroid position? Maybe this and talking to another consultant .etc would help? Also maybe try the pregnancy relaxation CD, rather than a birth CD just to see if it helps? You just seem so knotted up and we do care you know :)

Dream and other wedding attendees I have found another site that looks promising for dresses. This one being a contender for myself :)

love it purple, plus love the price . Hate paying lots for minimal wear things- and I'm not a posh dress wearer!!

dream it was Saira Khan from the first series of The Apprentice who adopted her second DC. She had a little boy biologically and then adopted a little girl from Pakistan.

That's a lovely dress Purple

Easybase is great Ninja, I have one for my car. It was well worth spending the money on.

Me too Dream! In fact I was complaining to DH about the cost.etc and he said you probably need to spend that much, i,e £80+ so I might buy something else too for everyday... Like the plain blue here Oh and this With the ties at the back

On the subject of car seat and pushchairs, we used our car seat on ours all the time as ds was a right puker when he was a baby and so needed to be a little more upright than the pram really allowed (although our pram did tilt but obviously in a carrycot type things he would slide down as there were no straps to hold him up).
Nice dress purple

Ninja if you have another puker, could you use a cocoon? I have one for my cc this time for comfort mostly and it would hold the baby in place hopefully?

I love the plain blue one!! And it's cotton- I get worried viscose etc make me sweat and get a bit smelly - I almost exclusively wear cotton- limiting!