It's been ages since we had a pelvic floor reminder, so, to those who still/already can.... SQUEEZE!
The midwife came today, and helped me a bit with the feeding, so it's not such agony any more, although the first latch is still painful. Last night, though, I was just crying as I dithered over latching her, as it's just terrifying to be facing 30 minutes of nipple-torture! I guess I allowed Helena to comfort-suck when I still only had colostrum, and that just ripped the covering off my nipples. 
However, she managed to lose only 200g of her 3.8kg birth weight, so I was somehow producing something! msbaublestwinkle, how on earth are you managing such marathons for Miranda?
She also disproved my Bump and Baby Paradox by telling me that my stomach wall muscles have separated, which is probably why I've been having such abdominal pains (which I thought could be anxiety induced by the pain of latching on). She said: "I could put a fist through there." Great. Well, if I'm not the embodiment of a new discovery in Doctor Who/StarTrek physics, at least I can imagine I'm the victim of a sneaky, thunder-fisted superhero... 
Ouch.
Has anyone else who's popped noticed her fingernails growing strong and long? I wondered whether I wasn't losing vitamins (calcium, I guess) to the baby any more, so it's all feeding into me again?
Congratulations, TheFirstNoelChinchilla! It's great to hear the first days have been calm and full of love...
Fast work, KateKringle! - both the birth and the getting home. Good thing, too; your DD didn't have long to wait! 
How's it going, Pully, Sorelip, mopsy, DarcieandSnowballsmum, Hawthers, bennybenbear?
DarcieandSnowballsmum, if you don't like the tea, pop some sugar or honey in it. It brings out flavour, and I don't imagine any of us will be drinking it in preference to any other 
in future, so you're not likely to get "too" used to the sugared version, IYSWIM?
LittleMIss, you'll have to have that tooth made into a charm, to show your LO what you sacrificed!
kri5ty, that's brilliant news about the settling - no matter what you felt about dummies, if they are helping with a colicky child, surely they are actual "smarties"!
Have you told your OH you don't want him to go? Just for the next time, could his friend (or yours) come to you, instead of your going out?
aethelfleda, witch hazel is definitely available in Boots and Sainsbury's (and probably Tesco, too). DS thinks it's magic stuff, but I didn't know it could help with piles as well!
The birthing pool protocol in the hospitals I've been able to give birth at has been to request it when you ring in, and if it's free you can use it. Are you planning a home birth? If so, is there time for you to get hold of a pool for home?
AReindeerCalledHorse, what a bugger about the sweep! Surely it was on the notes for your appointment that you were to have one, and they could have told you earlier that she wasn't qualified willing instead of letting you turn up! I visited the antenatal clinic at my GP's a couple of times before the birth, but kept my 41 week appointment with the normal clinic, as the local MWs told me up front that they couldn't do the sweep, or not there. Because I knew, I was not disappointed, but you didn't have that chance! 
figgy, sympathies about the bath. If it makes you feel better, I'm having trouble, and am not even pregnant any more!
OiMistletow, I hope the patch helps, especially as the effect now seems emotional as well as physical. Please don't feel guilty about ignoring him while you are in pain; he's interested in the milk, and probably doesn't yet miss your conversation! You will have lots of time to talk to him later, and I'm sure some skin-to-skin would be communion enough for him, to get over the temporary lack of communication!
Honey, you;ve gone awfully quiet; I hope that's because things are going well rather than that things are going badly? 
SoTired, that's really impressive work you have been putting in on the jaundice! 
Mmmmcheese, glad to have you back on line. Does the fact that you felt capable of posting (and, presumably, sitting) mean you are mending, despite the complications?
Re: the constipation question, we keep an eye on bowel movements for DS, and have found that melon, particularly watermelon (which still seems to be available at Waitrose) and grapes seem to be the best at getting someone to "go". Sorry for TMI, but with large amounts of watermelon, we can sometimes even see remains of the red pulp in DS's poo - that's how fast (intact) it has come through.