Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

Welcome home Cali
Congratulations Snoozle!

There will be barely any November babies. Just hope there are a couple of mamas that stick it out with me until the end!

Me probably. I'll have turned into a recluse by then. Come on bubs!

snoozle congratulations hon, so pleased for you.

cali so glad you're home, you'll be fine, glad you're sounding a bit more confident.

I think we're going to end up going with Hollie, as dh thinks Alexis is too hard/harsh sounding name. i don't mind as i like both.

Congrats Snoozle and Hils! anyone left for november?

We had best night so far last night, wee guy actually slept for a whole 2.5 hours together beside us in the moses at one point and another hour as well. This counts as a result!

Cep I think Alexis goes better with Annie middle name. Hollie Annie maybe a bit rhymey? Just MHO.

Hi everyone. just wondered if I can "officially" join you all? I have been lurking for ages and ages but never quite got around to posting.....
I am due 16/11. 2nd child but a very big gap (DS a teen now) and I am also a very old mum to be.
Hope all the new mums are doing well and those of you hoping babies arrive soon good luck. I am happy to wait another week or so as I am so disorganised II still have loads to get ready before baby gets here.

Welcome back home Cali and Abigail. Let your mum look after you. The best thing my mum did was to take over a feed in the afternoon and DH and I would nap for 2-3 hours.

Cep prefer Hollie, but not sure it goes with Annie as too similar in sound.

Congrats hills and snooze. Looking forward to hearing you birth stories and how you are doing.

just hope your back is better. Good job you have support from parents. Fingers crossed you start to feel better soon.

Are all you new mummies going over to the dark side (post natal thread)?

I've been having a few braxton hicks today. Forgot how weird they feel as if someone is squeezing my tummy. Good to know my body is gearing up for labour. DH getting v excited, bless him.

Sorry, welcome hadak. Ooooh, you'll have a ready made baby sitter

I'm looking forward to strictly Halloween special and merlin tonight. Love autumn tv!

hills and snoozle many many congratulations to you. It's so exciting!
cali I am so happy for you, forget the past and just look forward with a big soppy ole grin on your face. [Grin]
hadak was this baby a bit of a surprise? :) I'm old too, 39 in a couple of weeks.

Def a November baby here, will know more after appt on Monday, may even have cs date :)

36 weeks today

the rhyming thing has me a little thoughtful, but dh reckons it doesn't sound too bad.

welcome hadak congratulations.

Welcome hadak! My oldest dc is a teen too. My middle dc is preteen. Congrats!
Folic yay for sleep!

Ok, I have spent a couple of hours catching up on things, and now I'm back for a full update.

I don't have a very dramatic birth story (thankfully!) it was quite simply a case of I was induced, the gel had minimal effect, they couldn't break my waters and moved straight to a c-section (couldn't give any more gel or drugs due to previous c-section). I freaked out getting the spinal block, I was sobbing like a baby, but the anaesthetist was amazing, really fantastic, and very understanding of my fears. I have now had 2 c-sections, and although this one was effectively elective, in that I wasn't in active labour, I think I found it worse than the first one, probably because I was fully aware of what was going on instead of being doolally with drugs and exhaustion! But I felt strangely detached this time, I didn't even cry when they delivered him, although DH had the tears rolling down his cheeks (of course, it wasn't emotion, he just had something in his eye. Both of them ).

Anyway, I had some complications afterwards, in that I was allergic to the usual pain relief/anti inflammatory drugs, and found myself really struggling with the pain. Then I had horrendous afterpains the next day, they were just like being in labour, only without the help of gas and air, they were absolutely crippling, and without the pain relief that everyone else was getting....well, lets say it was a tough few hours! And then to top it all off, my uterus didn't contract properly, and as a result I didn't have any blood loss after the birth, and my belly was swollen and rock hard, just like it had been before he was born, and of course that was painful too. But anyway, we've turned the corner now, and I got home from hospital this morning. DS is the happiest wee baby, he just eats, snoozes, makes snuffling noises, and looks round him. I am still exhausted, but that is due to my own pain rather than from him not letting me sleep. Anyway, this will pass, and I am one very happy mum, truly blessed.

I have truly enjoyed the support on this thread, but I feel that I have posted a lot of personal info over the months, but I always take care to try not to identify myself in real life, and I have been quite specific about where I am from, and its a small place, so I'm afraid I don't want to post his name. I hope you can understand, and please don't be offended, as the support here has been fantastic. I'll just say that its a traditional, biblical name - not one of the super common ones, but not that unusual either (although I don't personally know anyone called it, which is nice!). You could probably file it under the category of 'inoffensive' (or 'unadventurous' if you were one of the more vocal posters on the baby names board!).

I have a mammoth post I want to share on breastfeeding (brace yourselves!) but I want to write it carefully, as our thread has been so fantastic for so many months that I don't want to fall out with anyone over this most emotive of issues!

Ah snoozle, glad he is content, sorry to hear it was a bit rough for you! Am sure am not the only one that totally understands choosing not to post a name! Also I know what you mean about the breast feeding thing, however from my perspective there are enough stresses and strains and I've seen some awful arguments on other threads to make any sort of judgement about anyone's methods of feeding! Congrats again, rest up and let people look after you while you recuperate from the cs :)

Ok, this is a mammoth post, for which I apologise, but it is very relevant to recent discussions on the thread.

I am bottle feeding, and am making a concious decision to not allow myself to feel guilty about it, but its not easy. It is hard these days to stick your head above the parapet and say 'actually, I'm not even trying to breast feed' , it really isn't socially acceptable, but I have several reasons. I had breast reduction surgery many years ago, and although in theory everything was left intact, I am doubtful that I would ever have been able to exclusively breast feed. Despite the surgery, I am still very large breasted by most people's standards, and I am horrendously self concious about it - I can't bear to touch them, never mind look at them, try to put them in a baby's mouth or have any midwife or bf co-ordinator do it for me. The thing is, when DD was born, I swallowed my hatred of all this and tried to do it anyway, because I felt obliged to.

But I had to give up in the end, because she was starving and dangerously dehydrated, and like Cali I cried rivers because I felt that I had failed her. Yet you have only to visit the AIBU section of this supposedly supportive website to see the venom dished out to women like me, with messages such as ?don't you know, there is no such thing as not being able to produce enough milk, it just means that you didn't try hard enough? and ?don't you know that I had 15 children and I fed them until they were five years old and they all bit my nipples right off, but I persisted with it because that?s what being a good mother is about? . Ok, I exaggerated that one, but not by much.

But I find it hard when I read views such as ?not wanting to? or ?feeling a bit funny about it? isn?t a good enough reason. Where do you draw the line between ?feeling a bit funny about it? and the actual psychological trauma (and it is traumatic) caused by trying to breastfeed when you have deep seated issues about your breasts? I spent my teenage years self harming due to my hatred of what I saw as my disgusting breasts, so I realise I am an extreme case, but what I am saying is, who gets to decide? Where do we draw the line between ?oh, I?m a bit funny about it? and ?actually, this has the potential to cause me serious harm to my mental health?.

I am now 3 days post birth, and there is not even a hint of any milk, colostrum or anything, not a drop, not a leak, and no sensation at all of there actually being any milk in there at all, no heaviness etc, so I am confident that I made the right decision to just go with bottle feeding from the start this time round.

Despite what I?ve said, I know that in an ideal world, everyone would breastfeed, but it isn?t an ideal world, and I really believe that the only sensible decision is the one that suits you and your baby best. No guilt, no bullying, just the decision that is best for your family.

Thanks for the welcome everybody and yesnever this baby was a BIG suprise!!! Moosey not to sure about the ready made babysitter- not sure I would leave DS in charge of a Goldfish.
Hope everybody has a lovely Sat evening. Curry and Strictly for us.

Congrats snoozle and hils!!

I will definitely still be here for a November birth I think Merlioness!. Went to see the birth centre today which is lovely and so much nicer than the Southampton maternity hospital (where they film OBEM) - v tempted but had previously decided against birth centre as am nervous first-timer and TERRIFIED of the pain, so wanted to be somewhere where I could get an epidural quick! But the birth centre seemed so much newer, cleaner, quieter and generally more relaxed with 2 lovely pool rooms that I am now very torn and don't know which to go for.

Just and Voodoo hope your backs are feeling better. I've still got the migraine from hell - still, finishing line in sight for us all now and not long till all these pregnancy pains disappear!

Have a lovely relaxing evening all.

Snoozle Congratulations!! Fantastic news - though I will be pondering over your name now you've given clues.

I agree with your points on BF - I did say 'being a bit weirded out' was not a great reason not to try so I hope I didn't cause you offence. As we've covered before proper phobias are a whole diff ball game so there is no way anyone with issues like that should be in any way pressured & in terms of who judges - only the individual can, you know yourself & what your limits are. I guess all I was trying to say that anyone who considers BF & finds the decision BF vs FF a difficult one (for whatever reason) is already someone that doesn't need pressurising by HCPs etc

snoozle this is my first baby and I have always had the weird notion that being a Mum is so much more than just bf. In my job I've seen many women dragging raising their children up in appalling conditions that I would keep an animal in. In some cases placing those children in protective custody. Yes, they may bf but the do it whilst sucking on a fag or worse a joint. Mmmmmm....... I can understand why you would not put you or your baby through a stressful time, just look at poor Cali.
I am going to try bf but if it doesn't work then I will not beat myself up about it. the stress that it brings with it really is not worth it. I am sure that you will give your baby all that it needs and much much more. As I like to say if anyone feels the desperate need to comment on another persons life."Poke it!"

• should say would NOT keep an animal in

Ah snoozle, your last sentence sums up my thoughts on bf perfectly. Thanks for posting your birth story. I'm not looking forward to after birth pains. Have to remind myself that I can take drugs when baby is here.

Cep sorry, didn't mean to confuse re names. Maybe Annie could be first name?

hadak did you enjoy strictly and curry? Loved choreography of jason's dance. Harry is my favourite (not done in a brucie voice!)

snoozle thank you for sharing your story - you've inspired me to have a chitchat with my boyfriend about how he might need to transition between a headspace focussed on a home birth, to something much more hospitalized - even a CS, just possibly without much interaction with me if things escalate - so thank you, & of course no offence taken about not sharing names - very sensible of you, actually. i also just wanted to say i completely & utterly support your position on BF - regardless of your incredibly strong reasoning (blimey honey - that's a helluva backstory!) - it's your body, your baby, your decision. end of. :)

hello hadak :)

ooooh, another evening of permanent BH & Bumpalicious jiggling around with her feet making all sorts of strange shapes at the top of my bump - just got in from a lovely romantic supper - an early one!! this time last year we were heading out to party hard at a Hallow'een party & i was dressed up like Cheryl Cole - now i look like old king cole with this baby bump!!! :) how quickly life changes, eh?

Hi all, I will definitely be around until November and if it's anything like me this baby will keep us waiting until after 18th! I saw the midwife last week at our birth centre appointment and she said she didn't think we'd be waiting another 3 weeks so who knows?!

Congrats on the new babies and thanks for sharing all of the stories so far. It's just great to know that whatever the birth experience, the after feelings are always that it was well worth it

My hired TENs machine arrived today and I've been practising! I really like the feeling so am hopeful it will keep me going until I get in the pool. I'm still hopeful that my plan for using natural pain relief methods will come off, but am also open minded enough to know as long as my baby arrives safely, it doesn't really matter!

I didn't think tonight's Strictly was that good and I do believe the halloween theme takes over the dance quality. I still love Jason and though!

I'm off to have a little bounce on my birth ball now to relieve some of the pelvic pain the baby seems so keen to be dishing out

I'm a definite for Nov too - there are a few of us still hanging in there

Welcome to the thread hadak

And welcome to the world Baby Boy Snoozle and Baby Hils fantastic news.

I think the boys are winning so far (just in numbers all are very precious)?

Truff my TENS machine is trapped in the royal mail until Wed, they didn't even ring the bell the swines. So no early births here please.

Folic woohoo and a cheerleader twirl for sleeping boy! Well done wee one.

voodoo and just I hope your back pains ease off soon. Pretty crap.

We had a wander into town today to by OH's mam her birthday presents. I'm waddling like a duck, belly was particularly out there today as he has turned into a great position back to the front. But did anyone offer a seat on the bus - did they heck. My home town would have seen at least 5 people jump up. Hohum.

I was lying down watching Strictly feeling all his little twiddling fingers and knee jabs and got to thinking how much I'm going to miss being pregnant.

Evening all

Congrats to snoozle and Hils - fantastic news!

Just came back from dinner with DH - we are booking a babysitter every weekend until this one arrives!

snoozle I just wanted to say about BF that you put the point perfectly across in your last sentence - when "actually, this has the potential to cause me serious harm to my mental health" or even just harm to your general mental state then that is when enough is enough. I loved BF and was really lucky to be able to feed DS until he was 19mo and when I think about how much I enjoyed it, I do get frustrated with some people I know who have openly stated that they think it is unnatural or "yucky" but IME these people are few and far between and most people who don't BF choose not to or can't for other reasons and then they are made to feel guilty which is just horrible, to put pressure on a new mother when the early days are already so emotionally draining. Although BF is a positive thing my belief has always been happy mum = happy baby and that is far far more important than where their milk is coming from.

Snoozle I have a 34FF when not pregnant, and seriously thought about reduction surgery - I turned it down because I wanted to breastfeed, and, well... I've got friends choosing to not even try bfing, and all have different reasons - I think it's down to personal choice - just like smoking and drinking in pregnancy - even if I die on the inside when I see it, I could never tell people what to do.

Anyway.
Today Abi has latched on twice as a bit of a comfort/cuddle feed, and I think we'll continue that way for as long as we like, now I know she's getting what she needs I can relax so much more around it, and enjoy the skin to skin and bonding.

Pam The first night after the birth I had such phantom kicks - but now I don't miss it... Real life cuddles are so much better!

I actually fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans (just), and I loved putting them on today - and loving my stretch marks - I feel like a proper mother, and got the scars to prove it!

Congrats snoozle and hils!

Ugh... I definitely feel that I will have a November baby. I actually feel like I'll be pregnant forever... and that I'll never actually meet baby. Getting very uncomfortable - have (TMI alert!) diarrhea and then trapped gas in a continuous cycle. Really painful... and GP had no advice, does anyone else? It s been going on for about 2-3 weeks.

38+4

PMA - can't actually be pregnant forever:) Its nice reading about everyone snuggling their new babies... will focus on that