Nov 2011 - almost time to push!

[TerrysNo2]

Last thread was full so thought I would just start this one off - hope you don't mind as I know I've not been a regular but god forbid you guys having nowhere to chat ;)

Right, caz what's happening, I am stalking you all over the shop and need more news :)

Wow! congrats lizzy.
And good luck to folic....blimey its all going on!
37 weeks today and hoping that baby stays put for another 2 weeks at least!!! house is such a mess and want to get over this tooth rubbish, but hey ho, when theyre coming theyre coming I guess!

DD was 8lbs 13oz. Was predicted to be average size at 7lbs 6oz at 12 week scan.

This time I didn't get an estimated weight as the sonographer said they were updating the average size as more babies were being born over 8lbs.

Wow Lizzy I can't believe we have another arrival, congratulations, hope you are recovering ok.

All I can say is, I hope that I don't go into labour today, as if so, I may be giving birth on the floor, helped by 5 year old DD.....there is terrible flooding in my area and the roads in and out of my village are almost impassable. That is, they were almost impassable about an hour and a half ago, and there has been an hour and a half more rain since then, its the worst I have ever seen. Still, having said that, apart from some period like pain, I haven't been showing any signs of going into labour yet, so hopefully no need to worry!

Lizzy Congratulations!! hope you're home soon.

Folic I can't believe it!

Haha! This is like an extension of the October thread. I bet we end up with babies being born right into December!

Technically I was an October mum - I got my EDD wrong based on my LMP so joined the Nov thread. I'd already settled in by the time I found out I should be on the October thread.

Detailed birth story posted on FB group & one crappy pic. All other pics on camera but I can't find the lead to transfer pics to PC.

Kelly Me too, as my EDD was wrong the first time.

I love your birth story! Specially when your DD is splashing around with you in the birth pool - made me smile no end :)

Ah Lizzy congrats! It sounds like you were definitely in the right place! Hoping your LO is soon back with you and you are recovering.

Folic how exciting!!

voodoo so glad things seem to be falling into place for you.

Kelly as I've put on other threads - massive congrats. Thinking about it, I would love DD to be present and watch the birth if she wanted etc but she is such a clingon I can see her being really upset/naughty if she can't get to mummy and I really don't think I could labour with Peppa Pig on the telly :) I will miss her loads though and it feels strange her missing such a massive event in our family life. But she adores nana, is always asking to stay over there, so I'm sure she'll be fine. I probably will have to pack a little bag for DD as well as mine.

My IM has a big 4x4 as many of her clients are in the middle of nowhere in Wales, so I'm hoping she will get to us whatever the weather.
I'd quite like to hold on till 39/40 weeks with this one as I don't finish work for another 2 weeks when I'm 38 weeks!

Quick rage moan:

I wish these contractions would hurry up and get to the point! So irregular, yet enough to make me feel sick and want to lie down in a dark room until it's all over. I've now had them for a week on and off - I'm bored!
At least Sprouts head was 2/5 today at the MW appt. - I hope that means good news asap!

Well! Turn my back for a second...!

Congrats Kelly on having a new kettle in your kitchen! Could just have popped down to Argos for one rather than making your own!

And congrats Lizzy on Edward's appearance. Aren't you glad they wouldn't let you go home!

Go Folic! I'm wondering how you're getting on.

Voodoo Glad things seem to be getting sorted out for you. Definitely think you should complain when you have the energy to do so, tho.

Cali I sympathise with your hassles with social services (S.S. for short!). I've had some unpleasant dealings in the past. As a mum of children with additional needs, I was automatically allocated a social worker, and at times they have been less than helpful. And good luck!!

Mashpot How are the movements today? Hope you're getting plenty of kicks.

Poppet Thank you for your encouraging post. I'll find out my fate on Thursday, but it no longer seems as bad a prospect as it did! Thanks!

Pandia, Snoozle, lk and Katiebeau I've had enough of pregnancy now - tho I could do with doing a big shop at Sainsburys before Connor arrives. Was going to go today, but rain has been lashing down and I can't be arsed. With two teenage boys in the house, the cupboards are bare within days anyway!

Kelly was lovely to read your story on fb! Well done!

(Damn you *knocked up for nicking my joke re the new kettle!!!!! - nice to have you back after being quiet for a long time though!!!)

Lizzy congratulations! Can't wait to hear more!!

Folic FX for you and hope alls going well!!!

Cali I understand the point re being monitored etc when completely obvious (even to the social workier it seem) how unecessary it is, but when you hear stories in the news about children who go under the radar of social workers and the worst happens, i'm of the opinion that they can't do too much. If someone came to check on me for one reason or another I dont think I would be angry. But I also think that it is now obviously appropriate for you to be taken off whatever list you are on! (hope i haven't caused offence as i have no idea of what the medication you are on is, and why this resulted in you being "cross refered" in the first place!)

I stocked up on the raspberry leaf tea yesterday! And am too about to embark on a diet of said tea, pineapple, curry and sex!!!!

Must get the bags packed though!!! Will perhaps do a trip to tescos tomorrow to get the toiletries!

I am half expecting that I won't last until November (though this may just be optomism!) but from what mw said there really is no room loeft for this little one in my teeny tiny belly! Officially have 2 weeks and 4 days left till mat leave starts, but really only 4 days! (These are followed by a weeks holiday then a final week working from home! so would be happy for here to come whenever she's ready!

aaaargh! I hate when I get too far behind...

Well, quick congrats to kelly and lizzy - hope all is well.

And best wishes to all you feeling the squeeze and wanting it over.

I am STILL not ready for it all to happen but my list of stuff to do is getting smaller while I am getting bigger. Biggest issue is still DD's awful sleeping but DH is trying to protect me a bit and do the late night stuff.

I am amazed at how quickly I have detached from work stuff ;) but still need to do more chilling out and not trying to project manage everything but that's motherhood...

Sleep tight!

p.s. how do I join the facebook group?

moosey the jazz hands still make me chuckle. I'm such a small child and frankly am taking every opportunity to cheer myself up being the grumpy hippo I feel like!

Lizzy, congratulations! And its so encouraging to me to hear of all these people seeming relatively sane and capable after their CS's. I still look like I am heading that way with my unmoveable madam and it frankly scares me witless. And Folic, good luck! Is it completely unreasonable to wish people would give us real time updates! Actually, would probably just freak those of us still waiting out. And I am planning to be firmly in November with a due date of the 25th. Heres hoping anyway. Another two weeks of work here and got home tonight so tired I wondered if I might be getting ill (but then, I wonder if I might be getting ill 60 times a day - its my phobia. I'm cool with colds, just sick bugs and stuff). It was so much easier when I didnt have a toddler once I got home too!
I'm with Staceroo on the social workers etc front. I work in mental health and I think that exposes me to enough people for whom family circumstances areextremely suboptimal that I would rather feel we were over examining people who are fine than missing people who arent. That said, once that examination is done, it wastes everybody's time, money and goodwill to keep looking.
Crap I do NOT feel like putting DS to bed now, I am too fat and uncomfortable and tired and feeling lousy and he's too squirmy and shrieky and heavy and protracted in sleeping.

Needing support and space to rant - am so frustrated with how today went. This is going to be long.

I had a midwife appointment today - she is the same midwife I had for DD2, so she knows us somewhat well. I thought.

I am 35wks+ right now. Throughout this entire pregnancy, she has not brought up the birth once. I thought since I had had a homebirth with my two previous children, and this is the healthiest pregnancy I've had yet, that it was a no-brainer and we were just waiting until 36 weeks to formalize it. So today, after all the typical checks, she goes "So, you're going to go in hospital for this baby, yes?"

Caught me completely off-guard - I slowly responded "I hadn't planned on it", which seemed to catch her as off guard as her question did to me. Cue the speech - every time I think about it, it makes me angrier. The emotional blackmail involving my children - who were in the room at the time so could hear everything!! - 'you have three kids now to think about it, I want you to return to them well/the kids are older now and will know if things go wrong/you have to think about your children. Going on about how she just wanted me in the safest place if what happened last times happens (I was badly anaemic last time which caused problems - I am no where close to anaemic this time. Like I said, this is the healthiest I have ever been in pregnancy). Thankfully the 'safety/but your history' statements ended with my husband asking how anything that happened last time could have been prevented in hospital, didn't quite have an answer beyond 'but everything will be right there' (except last time, they were told to prep before I left and it still took them 15 minutes after I arrived to do anything).

She just wouldn't answer our concerns about going to hospital and made up imaginary ones to talk about instead (my concern is that I was treated like garbage - she went on about how she understands how some women can be concerned about being monitored). Oh the patronizing - "I know home is a lovely environment, but..." I don't give two tosses about the environment to be honest, I care that the last two times I've been there, I've been treated like crap having been stepped in. I've had people put my baby deliberately out of reach and been referred to be horrid nicknames "Oh, you can complain about that" was the only response - it's kinda hard to complain and have people take you seriously in the middle of labour/wired up ill after a manual placenta removal.

At the last moment, she pulled a rabbit out and explained that the hospital now has a midwife-led maternity unit - again going on and on about I there wouldn't be constant monitoring. She said I should be able to go in since my pregnancy has been so straight forward and low-risk. So which am I - low risk because I've had a healthy pregnancy or high risk because my last pregnancy wasn't so well? She then gave me a pamplet that has no information on the unit at all (all it says is that if you are under midwife led care, you can choose to give birth at home or in hospital), told me to look it up on the website as it's "so lovely" (the video on the website is 5 minutes long, about 5 seconds given the midwife led unit mostly showing how pretty it is and there is a pool). I can get no other information on it at all.

The thing that really digs me is the "We'll support you whatever you decide, but I really really want you to make a sensible decision for your family" that she repeated like a mantra throughout. Which came across as sensible equals hospital.

I wish she'd brought this up earlier - I'm in the home straight and really don't want to deal with more hoops and people. We told her we'd think about it, neither my husband or I are impressed by the information she's given us so he's going to call her during her one office hour tomorrow and ask her the million and one questions she failed to answer. My husband likes the idea, kinda, but doesn't like the lack of information and everything so up in the air if we could even get in?

I want to go curl up and be in the quiet. This is really long, I'm sorry, I just needed to get this off of my chest.

just and stace I'm all for the brilliant work of social services, and support them 100% - as long as they work fair, and in this case I felt un-supported, blind folded and lied to. I had already asked for support and help from my GP and mental health team - this midwife referred me to Social Services without consulting me or explaining what she was doing to me - thus making me feel lumped in with those parents who are "under suspicion" and thus don't get told because they may further harm their child.
I.e. - I'd already agreed to be on the radar of health professionals, and even had to fight to get advice on keeping my medication up while bf-ing (which I may have to give up hope for, as it was). That to me should open channels for communication - not shady referrals made without discussion with the proper channels (SHO etc).
I'm on fluoxetine for General Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I have been for 6 years. I can hold down a job, keep a tidy house and generally function like anybody else with my medication. Without it I get anxious and fretful in situations of pressure, as well as have obsessive thought patterns about my behaviour in those situations of pressure.
Cut down past psycho-babble: unless I take my tablets, I am a control freak and beat myself up mentally when I lose any imaginary/real control, to the point of catatonic states of insomnia and panic attacks.

So yes, I have a problem, and I have spent the last 17 years of my life trying to overcome it, in liaison with doctors, psychiatrists and community health professionals. In return for that self-realisation and eagerness to be helped, I expect to be treated with dignity and respect, not with suspicion and frankly patronising attitudes.

Apologies for the rant, but it was really hurtful to have those 17 years of hard work thrown in a bin by a midwife who'd never met me before or even made an effort to consult me at all.

Oh dear, sounds like a few ladies are having a rough time again, which is really not needed this late on! I hope you can all feel better very soon.
NotJust go with what is right for you. I can?t believe that she left it so late! I hope that your DH gets answers, but the MW seems to be good at avoiding questions :(
Cali I really feel for you. Of course SS should look closely at people, but I agree that the MW referring you without your knowledge and so sneakily where you have reached out in a significant manner to get yourself help is ridiculous. I would still complain about her big time. Hope things get better
Folic I hope you are well and that things are progressing well.

Bad night here with lots of painful baby movements and a sick DH :(


Not just you have my utter sympathy. Although slightly different circumstances I am able to see similarities between your story and mine. Yes there are differences but the the fact that the professionals we rely on for support and rational treatment can sometimes appear well the opposite! Definitely ring the mw today. Ask your questions and when you have your answers then you can make decisions. You have to give birth where you are comfortable, I've realised that myself. Whilst you have doubts you won't be able to make an informed decision. Also ask if you can tour the MLU. I haven't got brilliant advice, just wanted to empathise really. Rant away! It will get sorted.
Cali, you have been treated unfairly. The mw should have spoken to you and discussed her concerns before doing anything else. At the moment she can only make decisions about you and not the baby until it is born. Sorry if that sounded awful, it wasn't meant to! Personally if you were presenting to me and you were telling me that you had looked for guidance and support regarding meds, support and so on I would want to see you supported further not belittled in the way you have been!
Couldnt sleep very well. Very tired but just kept waking up. Scan at 11.20 and have to go into work first.
Wonder how Folic is doing? So hoping our new arrivals are doing well too!

NotJust & Cali your posts have made me so cross.

NotJust why exactly are they against you having s home birth?

Cali you summed it up beautiful when you said your self awareness and eagerness to be helped had been completely over-looked. I cannot believe she can treat someone like that. I'm sure she has a duty of care in regard to this but she's a midwife - there to support you not treat you like a vessel carrying a baby.

I hope you will complain to her supervisor.

People need to stop treating pregnant women like brainless, selfish morons who are making choices based on their own wishes and not the what's best for them & their babies.

Notjust It sounds like a midwife trying to make the lives of her and her team easier, home births are harder work for them to supply people for it's more convenient for them to get people into hospital and she may feel that if they have a birthing unit now it should do the job for you. I'd try to overlook her manipulative comments, tour the birthing unit and then make the decision that you feel comfortable with. Its annoying that she's laying her preferences on you but there's no reason for you not to get the birth you want.

notjust I too am angry on your behalf. Whatever the reasons for her wanting to get you to hospital, using emotional pressure of being safe for your other children is unacceptable. You would never do anything to hurt your other children and as you are gormonal, this will play on your mind perhaps. Don't let it - you've had 2 previous hbs, a 3rd is logical. And as for her saying 'in hospital you'll be safe (or words along those lines) she just cannot guarantee that. Yes, hospitals are generally safe in this country but there are risks and poor outcomes occasionally wherever you give bith. No one can remove all risk. Your DH sounds fab and he's taking the pressure off you. Decide where is best for you and your family to have the baby and calmly state your intentions. If at home, then 'thanks for your information but we will be having a hb. I'll await your confirmation and the hb pack'. End of.

I'm feeling crap today. I'm swining between being breathless and feeling sick all day to lots of hunger but I get full within a few bites. It's what I imagine a gastric band is like!
Plus DD had an awful drop off at nursery. She's never been like this before. Crying, screaming, clinging onto me. Was awful. I know she'll be ok as she's been there over 2 yrs but nmow I'm heavily pg and have working mum guilt. Just want to curl up in a ball. :(

:( MrsA sounds tough. Hope you feel better soon emotionally as well as healthwise

NotJust Another one of those gobsmacking moments - what on earth is stopping you from a home birth? They're supposed to support and encourage them, not use your children as emotional blackmail. Seriously. [hangry]

So, had growth scan and induction assessment today... I'm 2 cm dilated all by myself, and baby's head is 1/5 (oh, could I feel it go there this morning...) - consultant did a full sweep and said if it's not happened by Thursday they'll progress it.
Growth scan shows a sizeable 8lbs 8 oz baby, but they're not concerned about that as much as my body spouting out protein like it had nothing better to do.
As I've been having contractions for a week now I'm quite happy for them to move it on on Thursday, I'm just hoping it sets in by itself before then!

Cali, exciting!!! Fingers crossed for you :)

MrsA hope things get better soon, maybe she's just having a bad day and tomorrow will be better?

NotJust, hope you find someone who will support you, have you spoken to the head of midwifery? Might be the next stage to getting what you want, after all it's your body, baby and family.

Just made lemon drizzle cake, nom nom nom, boredom continues, although have had some weird swelling in between the third and fourth knuckles on my left hand but, no where else is swelling more than usual so going to keep an eye on it, but generally putting it down to weird pregnancy stuff.

Anyone heard from Folic yet?

Oh Cali, i completely agree. I would have to have a very, very, very good reason to be referring a client to social services in any way without speaking to them about it and about my reasons first, and I would also expect to be providing them with information about what that might mean. The way its happened for you is crazy bad practice. As someone who suffers from mental health problems myself, I have had the opposite experience of despite fidning myself really struggling after my son was born, nothing has been mentioned to me about support available or anything this time around. Daft. But then, like you, I have sought and been open to help and perhaps they have confidence I would do that again. To be honest, I think they just have forgotten about it. And well done on the 2cm. keep going! And dont get to stressed by the social services rubbish. You're doing fine, nothing is going to come of it, it might be the least stressful thing to do to just put up with the odd visit and wait for them to realise they're not exactly making best use of their resources. Though if you can find a way of using them to access what WOULD be useful, go for it.
NotJust. Sorry. Ridiculous situation. I have to say, I've spent the last few years spouting all this "midwifery is where its at!" stuff to all my friends who want medics and hospitals and so on, and this pregnancy has left me feeling "midwives are too powerful and a bit lame". I too have had the "I cant stop you having a home birth but...." though to be fair, my baby is breach, so we know, at the moment, there IS a problem. And I KNOW they are seriously underresourced at the moment, and that isnt their fault, but its not our fault either and we have to suffer for it. I'm not saying there is a solution, these people really probably dont have the time to remember who we are and where we're at with stuff, but, I dont know, I guess I kind of hope they would a bit anyway.
Right, I had to take a phone meeting at home, and now I have to go into the office. Naughty me checking mumsnet first. Waiting for news of folic.
Any suggestions for activities for a 2 year old's birthday party? We've only got a handful of kids coming, but no planned activities.

just If you can get them to sit down in one place at the same time - story telling was my favourite birthday party activity :)

I'd also like to add the the consultant said she'd "boinked" the baby's head, which made DP giggle no end.