Nov 2011 - Feathering our nests and buying baby vests

[PamSco]

Taking liberties again as there are only 5 posts to go on old thread. Hope everyone is well this morning!

Glad to hear the babies are doing so well! Fab news.
Am melting. Been helping in garden, now sweating in house. Urgh. Although the weather is due to get rubbish tomorrow so not going to complain too much!

OH put the cot up :) so cute! Haven't got a mattress yet but am just going to store our stuff in it for now.
Am sure I should be doing something useful but I just cannot be bothered!
Hope everyone's ok :)

Hello ladies! Hope you're all not melting too much! Currently residing in lounge watching a movie on my birth ball, thankfully our house is thick stone n stays lovely n cool. Ventured out to drs this morn for flu jab and couldn't believe the heat!
chip over the moon for you that sylvie-rose is home....fantastic news!
And poppet too...hurray for willow getting out of the incubator. Go girls!
Cot arrived this week so think I'm all set now. At least this weather is great for drying all the baby clothes n bedding. MW this week was a bit harsh poking me to see position (wasn't my usual nice mw)....she was struggling to tell but eventually decided we're not breech anymore...hurray!
Increasingly uncomfortable on a night now....anyone elses dreams gone super weird recently? I can only lay on my left side now, so keep waking up with dead left arm!
Right, only a quick post, off to hang another load out!

Just got back from a walk anmd a picnic at Speke Hall. Lovely but now hot and exhausted and there's so much to do, incl DD wanting me to play catch with her. It was much easier first time round! Our 3 year old battered iCandy got admired today by a pregnant couple. V proud.

Fab news that Sylvie is back home and that Willow is in her cot :)

So jealous of you ladies and your heatwave! Its freezing here, we've got the heat on and I'm eyeing up the blanket that I have draped over the end of the sofa......

Great news about Sylvie Rose and Willow, hope the days keep getting better.

Ok ladies, will you hold my hand a bit? I've had my first ever experience of the snidey side of mumsnet and I know I should just forget about it, but it has really upset me. I've mentioned on here before that as the mother of a daughter, who comes from an overwhelmingly female family, I find it hard to imagine being the mother of a son. I don't know what my baby is, but obviously there is a 50% chance that in a few weeks I'll be holding a little boy in my arms, and I am worried that I might find it difficult, as I just have no experience of boys.

Anyway, in my state of insomnia in the early morning, I started a thread asking if anyone else had ever felt the same, as it really is something that worries me. From some of the responses, you'd think I had started a thread saying that I hated boys, and that if my baby turns out to be a boy I'm going to kill him and eat him. I got accused of gender stereotyping, of not wanting to treat my child as an individual, and the final response accused me of being bizarre, and starting a bizarre thread......apparently the fact that I have noted the fact that I have 3 sisters but only 1 brother is bizarre behaviour, but I thought it was just a simple fact. Anyway, a lot of responses came from women who said they had felt the same, which is reassuring, but of course its the hostile ones which have stuck in my mind. Please hold my hand and remind me never to stray from the nice antenatal thread, where people are actually, y'know, supportive. Its probably hormones, but frankly I feel like having a bit of a cry.....

moosey loving your jazz hands celebration, made me laugh out loud - very needed on a day when im rather down. Admitted to hospital yesterday fro 3rd time (and now 12 days of this pg in hospital)with chronic pains and still they dont know what it is - discharged AGAIN with a 'we think it may be an infection, take as many painkillers as you can, come back if it doesnt tail off or you bleed heavily'. I know they are doing their best but its SO frustrating and my DH leaves for 2 months away on Sunday so instead of making most of lovely weather and time with him before 2 become 3 im in bed dosed up on codeine.

Ok, rant over

Great news on the babies folks.

snoozle ive experienced the incredibly good and supportive (this thread) and the not so helpful elsewhere. You have always struck me as someone sensible and rational and in your last post you seem to know that what you were asking is a perfectly reasonable question (which it is, as an only girl I felt exactly the same about the prospect, except obv now i know im having a girl). Its perfectly justifiable to feel the way you do, and even more so to ask for help and advice. Ignore the naysayers - some people just like being objectionable for no good reason. Keep doing what you're doing ie preparing yourself mentally for something that may be a challenge for you and let the rest of the world go hang ........we dont have a smiley for a 'big fat non mn-ey hug' but have one anyway ......and maybe a small too. A friend of mines fb status today (at 11am) was 'ive just had a rum n coke. If its hotter here than hawaii i shall behave like im in hawaii' - maybe a lesson for us all?

Have good weekends all

snoozle - forget about it! the best thing about any online forum is that you can find like-minded people who support you, as well as people who take the time to explain their point of view, maybe challenge yours a little so that you get different perspectives on an issue. But you will also always get lame, over-opinionated people with waaaaaay too much time on their hands who go roaming for topics to charge into and make themselves feel better about themselves but putting others down.
To be honest, I think parenting forums can be the worst places for that because parenting is such a emotional topic. I often wonder why people get so entrenched in a particular parenting point of view and just want to hammer it down your throat. I'm not pop-psychologist but I suspect its due to their own insecurity...

Anyway, I think its cool that you are thinking about these things and looking for others opinions - I completely understand how you feel. I sometimes worry that I am going to be in this "super-girly" two-daughters household and I am not really girly girly. In fact, I really wanted a boy and I really want to write stories for boys and play with boy toys, just because it would be different to what I already know.

Rest assured, you will be a fab mum to your boy or girl because you think about this stuff.

Well, I should be taking a disco nap right now because its my best friends 40th birthday tonight. The theme is Studio 54 and I dug out a vintage 70's maxi halterneck that is bump flattering and got lucky with a pair of gorgeous strappy shoes with rhinestones in a vintage store yesterday. So I guess I will sit and show the shoes off for a bit until people get pissed then I'll take a taxi home - such is the glamour of pregnant life.

Our apartment is completely messed up again because we are having the final two rooms painted. Luckily my old neighbours with a daughter the same age are taking Elodie for the night - she had to camp on a little mattress on our floor last night and loved it. Made me think if she does keep on coming in the room and we just can't sleep with her, having a little crash pad may be an option.

I just want to finish up at work, finish all the little bits in the flat, get everything organised and chill out before this baby comes!

How bloody hot is it in the UK?
Its been really lovely here - but only 21 degrees. Not NY heatwave style.

Thanks for your support ladies, I knew I could rely on you to cheer me up.

What can I say, I'm a thinker! Maybe I overthink things, but I do like to look at things from all sides, and like to hear other points of view, but oh, the hostility.....must learn to be more thick skinned, must learn to be more thick skinned....!

And ooh, lk I'm so embarassed by my super self centred last post! I had meant to say that I hope you are feeling better and the painkillers give you some relief. It must be so frustrating not knowing what it causing this, and I know you have had a bit of a rough time through this whole pregnancy. The end is in sight though....

Chip and Poppet - Yay to the girls! Fantastic progress for both of them. I shant do any jazz hands, cause frankly it might make me sweat more, but I shall IMAGINE jazz hands.
And snoozle, seriously, such a huge number of people just dont think about anything other than their own point of view - including how or why they hold that point of view. I agree with whoever said that it can be good to be challenged on your thinking, but there is a difference between saying "i hear what you say, and I respect that, but I feel this way" and saying "your WRONG". If it helps any, I have a son and am having a daughter and although it doesnt plague me much, I feel like the mother of a boy and I worry a bit about how to be the mother of a girl. And I am someone who takes gender issues very seriously and thinks about them on a professional level quite often. Doesnt stop us having human feelings about what we know, and what will be unfamiliar.
Well, I felt good thismorning, so ran at my day. Now I feel rubbish, of course. Feel sick and wiped out. I too wish I could get some bloody sleep at night. And just comfortably digest a meal. And breath. And reach stuff thats right in front of me. Etc.

Snoozle,

just wanted to say, try not to pay too much attention to what they said, after all, Friday night is notorious for wine fuelled comments on this site from what I gather, I once wrote a thread about all my friends not bothering to come and visit me even though I go visit my old town about once a month and was generally looking for some sympathy, but did i get any, did I chufty!!!

I'll bet you that whatever you have you will adore and love them, if it is a boy all the women in your family will spoil him to within an inch of his life and if it is a girl you'll know exactly what to do and she'll end up being spolit too!!!

LK, hope you feel better soon, sounds like you are having a hard time of it, not much else I can say, but take good care of yourself and make sure that you get your partner to spend time with you before he goes, there will be plenty more sunny days to enjoy together.

Snooze just ignore the snid comments. I am a first time mum and expecting a boy. Although delighted I do have moments where I wonder how well I will understand him as being a woman think I have a natural head start in understanding girls. I am aware of gender stereotyping and both dh and I want to avoid this if we can. I would imagine that if you are a mum of girls only or boys only then have a baby which is the opposite it would be natural to wonder how you will cope with the difference.

Had nct class yesterday and found it good. Dh now realises why I have been a bit concerned about the induction process. He enjoyed it too although was a bit perplexed when he had to birth the baby doll with a pelvis and balloon! Nice group of people so hoping we will bond. Discovered local pub where we had lunch does a yummy mummy coffee and cake afternoon.

On the downside feet swelled up to epic size and also hads and even arms. Did home bp and was high on first reading but yoga breathing Nd lots of water managed to get the readings down. Anyone got any ideas apart from gentle walking, water and putting feet up?

On upside dh on diet but treated me to big bar of chocolate. If you knew how much he loves his chocolate you would know what a big thing this is!

Hope you have a good sunday and the weather is slightly cooler today.

Snoozle don't let stupid comments get to you. On forums for the most part opinions are shared and they are not always complimentary to our own! Just brush it off and forget about it, nothing wrong with having doubts/questions/worries!
Cookie glad class went well. I do now wonder now if I should have made OH attend something but he's getting good at working out terms and stuff and he isn't a 'sit in a class' type of fella!
I've had the worst nights sleep, clearly did too much yesterday, doing gardening then a long walk with the dog down the beach, stripped and washed beds and did shed loads of washing. I couldn't sleep for aching! So got up at 6 after being annoyed with myself that i couldnt sleep and have had a lovely soak in the bath. Going to straighten my mad hair and I've got some paperwork to sort. Cot to somehow squeeze into my bedroom and lots of stuff to list on ebay whilst not buying ANYTHING!!
Raining here all day which is quite a nice change but it's still warm. Hope everyone has a nice, restful and if applicable, a cooler Sunday!

lk hope you're feeling better soon.

snoozle was that in the pregnancy topic? i have often been suprised at some of the horrible comments on mn. so judgemental, what's weird with noticing how many siblings you have? I know others who have posted threads on the pregnancy topic and regretted it for exactly the same reason.

snoozle Sorry you have come across this. I?m really sad when I read threads like that.
Please do forget about it though. There are some people that have very strong views on this subject.

lk hospital again? I really hope that this was the last hospital stay before baby comes and that you can still enjoy time with your partner

cookie glad you had a good class.

voodoo here too sleeping badly and aching all over :( In addition I?ve been having the most horrendous nightmares and then lie awake worrying if I am ?harming? the baby with my stress levels. He has been a bit more quiet this weekend, but is still very much there. Maybe just growing

Hope everyone has a good and cool Sunday

cookie my feet have been really really terrible.All swollen on top, cankles, sides and around ball. Elephantitis like. Was really scary last night. MW on Thursday didn't seem too worried although it wasn't the worst it has been. I've been to a reflexologist which def made a difference. Mostly though have been keeping legs up higher than heart (can be a bit of a nightmare with heartburn), had feet in basin of iced water last night too. I'm going to try and keep off them today, have had them elevated since I got up at 5ish. Look much better.

voodoo your day is exhausting me just reading about it. hats off to yiou but get your feet up today!

Merlioness I was worry worry worrying about stress levels re work etc transferring to baby but SIL said something that put it in to total perspective for me. I'm not pregnant and living in a war zone. Totally got me. Stop the guilts.

Sorry this comes a bit late but congrats to Sylvie-Rose all home and snug and to Willow in a cot!! really lovely to hear.

Ah totally missed your post LK sorry to hear you aren't well. Hope you feel better soon and like has been said there will be plenty more sunny days to be had when you are better!
I've been stuck on this birthing ball for ages. Back is killing, round the top of my pelvis. OH isn't up and I've crawled upstairs to wake him to no avail! Good job I have plenty things saved on the planner. Currently watching OBEM. So flipping uncomfortable!
Merlioness don't worry but the stress levels aren't great for you either. Treat yourself to some chill out time if you can.
Going to stagger to the settee and see if I can get comfy.

Folic you SIL has a point I guess. Off work now anyway, so hopefully the nightmares will settle. I can't wait to be able to go for a nap in the afternoon without worrying about setting the alarm so that I can only have my 1 hour lunch break, etc.

Maybe tomorrow's GTT is getting at me too.

voodoo oh dear, achy back and pelvic pain are a nightmare. Fingers crossed that you can get comfy!

Cep I had posted in the general chat section, mainly because it was really early in the morning, I was bored, and wanted to post somewhere that was getting a bit of traffic at that time. I have learnt my lesson!

Folic, swollen ankles etc are awful. Keep them raised but totally hear you about the heartburn!
Ok back is officially agony, to get off ball I have to roll onto another chair then slide down so am on all fours and try to get up. OH has 'manflu' and when I said I was in agony he turned over in bed and said 'me too'! I'll have to punch his face in when I can either get up the stairs again or he comes down! Grrr. My mam and dad are away in Scotland for a fortnight for a 2nd honeymoon 45 years after their 1st which is lovely! Could do with my mum to do me a little bit of shopping for packed lunches next week which was my plan for today but no chance can I get out to do it myself. Sigh.

Aw, lk hopefully that will be it now and the next time you are in hospital it will be to deliver your beautiful baby!

Snoozle haven't read the thread in question but I don't know what world these people inhabit. Most people I know in RL have a bit of a preference for a boy or a girl, lots of people want "one of each", some people want a house of girls or a house of boys. It's not to say that you won't love what you get or that you will dress your boy in Ben10 and not allow him to do ballet or Home Ec or that your girl will be permanently dressed in a pink tutu!

I was very nervous about raising a boy when I had ds1, more so because for some reason I had assumed I was having a girl, my family tended to have more girls than boys.( I certainly redressed that balance!) And when Sylvie-Rose was born, ds3 said he was "nervous about having a sister" but he loves her now!

I was wanted one of each. And I've worked hard to raise DS in a way which honors his self determined identity rather than his socially constructed gender defined identity. Much good its done me, he's like a walking stereotype of boy. Its certainly put me in a different position on the whole nature/nurture debate. But I think if we cant openly acknowledge and discuss these things, how are we supposed to do it? I value open, honest discussion SO highly, I really think its the way we move forward as individuals and as social groups. So I applaud raising the issue when it was concerning you.
lk, how are you doing now?
Had nasty belly pains today. Nowt to do with pregnancy, had them before. No idea what they are. I used to wonder if they were a stomach ulcer or something. They seem to hurt for a day or so, especially when I am either hungry or full, and then just dissipate. Painy today though. had a wee break from them for a few hours and decided to do some gardening. Needed, but a bad call. very pregnant women should garden in that kind of heat. Having one of those evenings where I feel like a rubbish mummy cause I am sat on the sofa letting Daddy do all the work. Sometimes I can forgive myself when I dont feel good, other times, I just feel dissappointed in myself. Its cause its so bloody often. Stupid body.

Thanks Chip. Thankfully the thread I started died a death after about 30 posts, about half of which were supportive, and half of which were far from it. But ironically, I never expressed a preference for another girl, I just said I was nervous about the prospect of a boy. Was accused of thinking of males as an alien species (complete with lots of and emoticons, for aggressive good measure!). Anyway, I must force myself to move on, brooding on it all is only harming myself, I suppose!

Can I ask you ladies something of a delicate nature? Does anyone find that their breasts have got lumpy? I feel like mine have, but thankfully its not that I have found a lump, its more a general lumpy, tender, achey feeling. I am such a terrible worrier that it has played on my mind all afternoon, even though I am 99.9% certain that the lumpy, tender area I can feel has been there for years, and just feels exaggerated because everything is in pregnancy. I had it investigated about six or seven years ago and was given the all clear. In fact, I got the all clear twice, because when I was about 12 weeks pregnant with DD, I got recalled to the hospital as a radiologist had been suspended due to concerns about him giving people the all clear incorrectly......opening and reading that letter was probably the scariest experience of my life. Anyway, there is no reason why things are any different now, but my anxiety has just descended on me and is playing tricks with my mind.....

Snoozle, my boobs are quite lumpy generally if I have a good grope of them, and once my milk came in before, it was lump city. But then, I did end up with a breast abscess and several bouts of mastitis, so maybe my boobs are a bit prone to clogging up or something. However, it was nothing more life threatening. I've just had a good fondle of mine with you in mind and there are several tender areas and lumps and bumps, yes.
So. Does it make me a very sad person that I have an absurd sense of satisfaction that there are currently FOUR items of drying laundry in the house (all baby clothes) and TWO items of dirty laundry awaiting washing. I feel this may be about as on top of laundry as its possible to be. Nobody remind me about random things like chair covers or bath mats, please.

Soooo I rang nhs direct cos of my back and they said to ring my emergency mw contact. Hmmm. Assuming that's the hospital thing. Hmmm.

Voodoo I have a hospital no and an emergency midwife pager no on a sticker on the front of my notes - hope you get some help and relief soon