December 2011- over halfway there!

[sevendwarves]

Welcome to the new thread ladies!

I was thinking about something like this...

"please do not tell me it is too early for an epidural... if I am asking for one it is coz I am in pain. And if you do insist it is too early... I will most certainly flip out if you do not show up again until it is too late!!!"

Jeebers... the idea of any of the outlaws in laws turning up is rather horrendous. El bambino would be born in a haze of fag smoke and f-words. No thanks!!

My outlaws wanted to fly to london for the birth from Australia and I had to put my foot firmly down with hubby. I told him that my mum would be coming to help out and stay with us... and I am not having his parents staying with us at the same time!!!

Besides... he has 4 sisters... his mum can be there when they have their babies. With my first, I want my mum around after the birth to help us out.

Morning all :)

I need some totally off topic advice...trying to work out if I'm being overly sensitive. As you know my cat had kittens recently. I listed them for sale & got an overwhelming response but offered them in pairs to the first 2 people who contacted me (1st mistake!!!). They agreed they would visit & leave me a deposit, something I made clear was important to me as I didn't want any time wasters. Anyway, I've not heard from either one in 12 days; no visits arranged, no deposit taken. I am STILL receiving emails & calls for the kittens even though I changed the ad to say they're reserved. I've not chased the people because I don't see why I should. I plan on emailing them both today to say I've decided to re-advertise them. Am I being too touchy? I've grown attached to the kittens & I really want them to go to the best possible homes. My cat has been the most amazing mum so I feel I owe it to her to find her babies the right people....is this my hormones speaking?

My view... don't bother with the people who have not contacted you in 12 days... ignore and readvertise. If they contact you... tell them that you didn't hear from them, they didn't give you a deposit and that you think you owe it to your cat to find her babies a home with responsible adults :)

Who cares if it is the hormones... just do what feels right!

hahahaha, birth plans.... painting nurseries... breast pumps.... Shit! I know I've already had one, so actually have some of this stuff organised already, but I still haven't taken stock of it, especially after the house move, and God knows what will happen when the little one arrives. I'll probably be crying more often than DS these days (he was overtired during the trip with DH, so keeps bumping into things, then wailing loudly. also was spoiled by fond granny, so some wailing is to get his way).

HoneyLovescake: Definitely re-"allocate" your kittens! If these pople are being flaky about this, you can quite reasonably imagine they will be flaky about your kittens.

Honey - you're not being oversensitive. I think thats rude and doesn't bode well for their new home environment. You could always drop them a very quick mail TELLING (not asking them) what you're doing so they have no recourse to have a go later on.

Had a bit of a sleepless, fretty night last night. Feel underprepped and overwhelmed and suddenly so tttiiiiiired...I am going to write about 1,000 "to do" lists and make myself feel better.

On a more positive note - Happy Friday! Supposed to be lovely weather this weekend

Honey definitely tell the flakes that they will not be having your kittens and send them to a good home. I wouldn't even re-advertise - if you've had loads of responses can you just select the most likely ones from the responses you've received and contact them? If you re-advertise you might just get another deluge of responses which would be a pain to wade through again.

In pregnancy news I've had my first genuinely problematic pregnancy symptom - got up to head to the shower this morning and felt like my pelvis was about to split in two, right down the middle in front. I hobbled to the loo, thought about my commute (15 min walk to station, hour train, 20 min walk from waterloo) and hobbled straight back to bed...so now working from home today (this shouldn't be too much of an issue, fingers crossed). Seems super common and I'm sure it will pass but what a pain (literally). School doesn't go back till Weds so at least DH is home to wait on me hand and foot take care of me!

tyelperion sounds like it could be SPD, take it easy and speak to your MW if it doesn't go away.

honey you're not being over-sensitive at all, I wouldn't even bother getting in touch with them. If they contact you just say that as you hadnt heardfrom them or received a deposit you assumed they weren't interested.

msbuggy would your MIL actually turn up while you're having a hb? It was bad enough that my parents turned up 30 minutes after I had DS, and the delivery suite staff actually let them in. DS hadn't been weighed so they were there for that and I hadn't had a shower. DH had only held DS for a couple of minutes before they demanded to hold him. Even now it still bothers me that they ruined our first few precious hours as a family :( I'm not sure what to do this time as I'm hoping for a quick discharge and I'd like some time just the 4 of us before we have any visitors but they'll be looking after DS while I give birth, I know we can't pick up DS on the way home without them seeing the baby without causing offence.

honey - I agree with everyone here. Contact the people who have been most interested, and drop those who have not been in touch (...unless they are waiting for you to contact them? Maybe they don't want to hassle you but are actually very giddy about the kittens and have built and decorated nurseries and play gyms, and bought kitty paraphernalia...)
tyelperion random pains have been bugging me for the last week. It's weird. And it's different all the time. Today I have weird pains shooting down my left buttock into the back of my thigh (???) and putting weight on my left leg sets it off. I think I probably slept funny last night.
It'll pass, I'm sure! I'm used to these random happenings now.

On a lighter note, I just got may babycentre email telling me I'm now 27 weeks in - that's T3 to you and me! Yippee!

Who the hell are these people who turn up at hospitals and try to take over holding new babies?! I can't imagine anything worse for a baby, who's just been squeezed and squashed and rammed for hours, and now it's all so bright, so cold, so loud, and everything feels so much! Why make matters worse for the poor thing, and not let him/her just rest in the closest environment to "home" s/he can have outside the womb - mummy and daddy. Even if people are going to overlook a mother's needs and sensitivities during and after childbirth, it's sheer hypocrisy to overlook those of a newborn!

Thanks for all the advice :) DP said he agreed with me but he tends to agree with most things I feel strongly about these days...he may as well have been patting me on the head saying yes dear, you're absolutely right dear; sometimes it's nice to get that automatic reaction but it makes it hard to tell if he's just humoring me.

I'm going to readvertise because I'm going to put the price up, partly because I think my low price the first time (2nd mistake!!!) might have encouraged people who wanted kittens rather than a cat for life & partly because I hadn't realised how much bloody expensive kitten food such tiny things would consume. also, I'm going to ask for a lot more info from people.

Also, I am going to send an email because I think one of the flakes has kids & if she's told them they're getting kittens then she might want to arrange something else.

Tis a good point about visitors. I may politely ask all family types to let us settle as a family for the first day, and arrange visits soon after. :)
Not sure what to do about my mum... must talk to her. My sister wanted her there for my nephew's birth, so mum was there, but tried to keep out of the way as much as possible - wanting the time to be most special for my Sis and BIL. (My mum is an absolute star, and always does the right thing...) If I was giving birth at home, I'd have her there, then she could be in the next room - it's all open plan - so she'd be right there if needed, and could be happy being useful - making drinks and being tidy ... mum stuff. In the tiny room in the hospital, it would be hard for her to take a more background role...
He he he! honey my DP is also very "yes dear, you're absolutely right dear". And somehow, that seems to keep everything nice and calm.

OiMissus I contacted them both last Monday & ask them to email/phone to arrange a visit & one of them said she'd get back to me that day but then they both dropped off the face of the planet. Soooo glad I didn't see your message about kitty nurseries before I emailed them...I felt sick writing it as it is

Back to the subject of our babies & pushy inlaws...my mother upset me quite early on when she very forcefully said so are you going to invite me to the birth or not? to which my knee jerk reaction was why the heck would I want you there when I have DP?

To put this into perspective; we're really not that close (a fact she chooses to conveniently ignore), whenever she visits I restrict her to 2 nights max because she stresses me out after half an hour to the point I'm usually crying or VERY snippy. We're not too bad from a distance but close up I want to strangle her & I've made this very clear. Also, I live in Cornwall she teaches english as a foreign language & can be living in london, paris, rome or istanbul...she has no permanent home which begs the question when & for how long was she planning on staying???

I swear there's something about babies that makes people lose there minds completely. I've told DP that I want no visitors for 2 whole weeks after the birth so that we can fully bond & he has to deal with the in-laws about this. I've already told my mum who was unsurprisingly stroppy & his dad's partner who was an absolute angel & said if I change my mind she'd be happy to come & clean my house (she may be the exception to my rule ) but his mum is going to be livid.

I'm pretty close to my mum - so I'm very lucky.
But I know DP will want equal rights for his mum / In-laws. Not a chance.
I'm dreading it already. They're very grabby - with the seemingly god-given right to make demands. "Prod your belly. make it kick" for example... No understanding that this is a human life, an individual,... I'm going to be very protective... I know, I'm going to have to bite my tongue. People will want to hold the baby, - naturally - and I will want the baby to be left in peace. It's going to be tough!

Yes, the MIL turning up is entirely possible! We're not planning on letting her know when I go into labour, but she is likely to ring a lot during the last couple of weeks! If she was a more relaxed person I'd be happy for her to be there, but she would stress and panic, which would worry the DDs.

Our plan (it worked after DD2's birth!) is to text everyone a date when we will be happy to accept visitors from, provided that they stay for an hour maximum and either play with the DDs, do some washing or bring food! There are lots of exceptions to that though, my Mum will just take over all cooking, cleaning and older childcare for the first week...she's a star. It gives DP and I time to spend being daftly over the top about DD3 and the older ones won't notice as Granny is really interesting!

Oi be careful the pain sounds like sciatica to me (long term sufferer and it is a joy). Might want to mention to midwife next time you see her as very common in PG. all to do with pressure on your sciatic nerve can be the baby can be the weight gain.

msbuggy loving the text idea, DP avoids confrontation with his mum wherever possible; which I totally agree with until he puts my wishes aside so this might work. I did get him to promise to the 2 week wait before I even got pg but he also agreed to giving people a v loose EDD & that went right out the window as soon as she asked so I may end up having to tell her which should be fun. the way I see it is I'm v protective & it's going to take me 2 weeks to let anyone but DP hold the baby & I really don't think either of our mums are the look but don't touch type so I'm doing them a favour really Of course all this goes out the window if I deliver too close to xmas...can't really avoid the family at xmas can you? buggy Have you considered locking the door & not responding if she turns up?

figgy I read about sciatica last week when I had pains in my pelvis. But I'm refusing to think about it unless it lasts for more than a couple of days. ...You'll be sure to hear about it if it does!
What are y'all having for dinner this evening? I'll do the usual "Friday Big Shop" tonight, so give me some ideas. :)

My MIL is coming to stay for 2-? weeks (although she will be in a hotel for most of that time, the ? is depending on how I feel about it all). I guess the annoying thing about having a baby due just before Christmas is family will want to come over anyhoo.
DH has recently realised he can't get big expensive Christmas presents anymore, and is a bit upset about it (he's feeling all growed up!) so we're having a proper blow out on Christmas presents for each other this year as one 'last huzzah'.

Honey, hope you find the kittens a new, loving, home asap.

I now have visions of lights out, curtains drawn, MW hiding flat behind the door to avoid the opening letterbox with MIL peering through, whilst msbuggy bites on DP's hand to stop herself calling out mid-contraction. He he he!!

Happily I've always been pretty quiet in labour up to now!

We'll just lock the door. Although, my main worry about this labour is that I'll labour in the day time and throw a hissy fit if anyone tries to shut the front blinds...I feel claustrophobic with them shut!

ohhh v mean Oimissus

My PIL are alright, truth is I barely know them given that we live in different countries. However, I just don't have anything in common with them and our conversations are always those superficial types. Plus... in the end... I am very close to my fam and just don't feel the same way about them.

Managed to convince DH that they can come visit anytime from March onward!

My MIL lives just round the corner! Thankfully she's not too bad and doesn't just turn up, however she never takes the hint. If she does 'pop' round for a coffee she's normally still here 2 hours later! I can normally tolerate about an hour before she starts to annoy me.

Waaah, my well-meaning mother just sent me some h&m maternity jeans. I feel like such a cow, it's a nice thought but they look like something she'd wear...surprisingly the overbump design is v comfy & sadly I have gone up 2 sizes but I wouldn't be seen dead in them. :( So annoying it's a pain in the bum for me to get to a post office, it'll cost me money I don't have to send them to her, she bought them in Europe so I bet she won't be able to return them & they cost the same amount as the baby bouncer I dropped 100 different hints I wanted her to buy. I sound like a brat don't I? OK Rant over.