So, been off on holiday to the cotswolds, very pleasant, in a low key, demure english tourism kind of way. Seem to be being outpaced by my toddler though. I was so glad my mother in law was there most of the week - even though she coudlnt do much childcare with a bad back, she could cook, and my partner could feed my son, while most evenings when we would get in from a leisurely stroll round a small castle or something, I would collapse on my bed for an hour. I feel like such a wuss!
Anyway, kind of scanned through whats been going on, so forgive me if I missed anythign major.
But - mental health - I too have bad anxiety problems, which in their turn leave me depressed, and I just had a god three months of therapy to very little avail. I'm not taking meds, I confess, but no one could say I am handling it well. But I am, you know, still here, still getting through the day. And I just think it is helpful to know you're not alone with it. I wish it were different, I wish I could get through a day without fighting panic or fear, I dont know how to make it different, but I have been trying to learn to accept that even though its horrible and uncomfortable, like REALLY horrible, if I just kind of let it be instead of trying to fight it off, sometimes it doesnt get as bad, or lets go just a little bit quicker. Its hardly a skill I've mastered, but I think its helping to try.
Birth positions etc - I had a natural birth, no drugs. I laboured in a birth pool for about ten hours or something, at home (after over four days of contractions and no sleep) and what that meant was that i could comfortably spend most of my latter parts of labour on my knees with my arms on the inflatable sides of the pool and the water taking a lot of weight - would NOT have managed to maintian that position other wise. I did find over those night mare four days however that if I was lying on my back when the contraction came (oh god, I just had a really vivid memory, i so dont want to do this again!) it was worse. All fours was best. Nothing was good. Oh holy crap. BUT, here I am, the other side of that one. But yes, I eventually delivered lying on my side on the floor with my upper foot resting on themidwife's shoulder. What was the other thing? contractions, that was it - likewise, started off like period pains and was always kind of like period pains but just amplified beyond belief. But I had quite a lot of back labour. BUt then, most of my worst period pain is in my back too. I realised scanning through that I have had a few days of a fair few uncomfortable contractions I have just ignored! Hmm.
Anyway, tired, crotchety and wishing coming home from holiday was more like stepping into a warm bath and less like walking into a nursery school mid-playtime when there's a staff shortage and being asked to tidy up.
And as for all this preparedness. Crap. I er, have, er, um...