PESH Summer Deli - Homemade Ice Cream and Sorbet a speciality.

[Ginfox]

Complimentary ice-filled foot spa for all customers. 50% off all purchases for all BESH (proof of membership required)

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Casserole, girl born 19th March
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
StiffyByng, girl, born 17th May
Scorpette, boy, born 21st May.
Rocketleaf, girl, born 23rd May.
TwinkleToes, girl, born 7th June.
Laurielou, boy, born 9th June.
Orchid, girl, born 24th June.

UPDIFFED

Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Mrbitey, so hot right now, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, thinking of calling baybee Vanilla Ice, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, sticking to a schedule, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 18th November
BarbiesBeaver, can't quite believe it, due Christmas Day
BrownB, INSERT WITTY COMMENT, due 25th January 2012
AlpinePony, INSERT AMUSING COMMENT, due 19th Feb 2012

I certainly do not mean to laff at others mis-fortunes, but.........Bitey bath & Ski bodily functions experiences have made me . I do hope you're both ok though. I did not have a good day yesterday & am still feeling vay sorry for myself, so thanks for making me smile. Though I do realise this wasn't your intentions. Come 'ere for a fondle foot rub, both of you.

Lozza you are far too luffly. I am not ashamed to say I laughed my arse off at Pone 's horrendous double whammy However twas only because of how she described it and thus I blame her entirely.

Pone you poor lovely, it does sound bloody hideous. Never mind the crown, I award you the white porcelain throne to go with it plus loo brush sceptre.

Brownie Hoorah for 13 weeks! That was about the same time I started eating for 5. I concur with the bollocks to the weight gain sentiment. I suspect you have lost a fair bit over the initial 12 weeks of sicking and nausea anyway?

Barbs I first felt weird little flicks at about 16 weeks. So yes, it could well be - how v.v.exciting :)

I haf bought a pineapple and intend to use it. I have also bought 6 bottles of lemon lucozade and some flapjacks. That's all one needs for labour, right?

Fucksticks, the skin has given up. Stretch marks have appeared. At 39+1. After having NONE last pregnancy. Off to glower silently in the corner .

Could be movement, BB. The way i could distinguish it from wind was that if I did a big fart afterwards then it wasn't baby. But if no farts then most likely is baby. That's so exciting

What's up? That baybee giving you some trubbles?

You ok lozzle? Feel free to point and laugh, have seen the funny side myself now. < comes for fondle anyway>

ski I once pooed on the FDH's leg when stricken with a gastro bug. They do get over it. Most traumatic at the time for me but I even manage to raise a smile now when he recounts the incident to anyone who mentions stomach bugs at any time, ideally in the pub.

barbs sounds like it! How exciting!

Saw the MW today, had moment of excitement when bp was 40/60 but turns out her machine was broken. Bitey Bach's head is now 3 fifths engaged. This means nothing to me, is he coming out or isn't he?

Curses gaga! Bloody stretchies! Bloody lying bio-oil! Bloody no one telling you they actually hurt!

boots you will also need hot water and towels. I still don't know why.

PS I have just had a rare steak and chips for my tea and am sipping at a glass of red wine. Happy, happy, happy

PPS My husband has just told me I have got a beard. And now he is ringing his sister and telling her.

That's a red card offence, Bitey. What of his can you break?

Bites He is not coming out, sadly - Owlet has been thus engaged since 34 weeks and has not budged an inch since. I haf hot water and towels too. And my sieve. And the plastic sheeting from B&Q. I do not, however, have a rare steak or wine so am v.v.jealous. But not of your evil husband. Perhaps you should crap on him again to shut him up?

GG wtf? That is extremely unfair so late in the game. Hopefully they will not really get the chance to get settled as they have only just appeared.

I went to pilates and it really fucking hurt. I am going for the last time next week to try and prove my DHB status but I suspect I may wuss out at the last minute. I have had major pains all over the womble area today and lower back. Sadly not regular in any way though so it's more likely constipation than anything exciting. Bah.

Good luck with sweep today gg

LadyG That's pants about the stretchmarks - how fucking rude of them! A lesson to you all here - have preemie baybees and get no marks! Good luck today. Bear down etc.

Thank you all for your wonderful support. I have stopped shitting and puking - thankfully just an hour before I was to admit defeat and call the doctor. I'd realised that I was actually in a bit of a pickle and putting myself at physical risk - when suddenly fluids started going down starting with some rehydration salts, then water, then fruit juice, ice-cubes etc. As a result of this I appear to be losing weight during the first trimester. brownie Last time I put on a stone and a half in first trimester and then barely anything after that (actual baby weight + fluid only I mean). I hated the books saying "you will have put on 1-2lbs" by now because I know with my size & build that a weight gain overall of 10% on a woman who starts off at 8 stone is very different to a weight gain overall of 10% for me. Much in the same way - did any of you see that thread on Chat a few weeks ago about wrist radius? Some woman said the RADIUS of her wrist was 3.5". Yes, get a tape measure out and see for yourself. Mine is 7. Yes, I'm fat, but I've not got sausage wrists - I mean that's the one part of the body which doesn't really get rolls of fat right? So of course I'm going to put on more weight than her - and in general, although it did explain to me how some women think that 8.5 stone is "massive". Speaking of which brownie, shall I introduce you to my rather sweet friend who spoke kind words to me when I was fed up with my weight and said "I know how you feel, I went up to 50kg when I was pregnant, I was huuuuuge !".

lozzzeerrrrrrrrrrrr What's up with you my lovely lady?

bitey You are very funny. It's true isn't it - that scene in SaTC where Charlotte & Harry have the squits & spend the night in the bathroom pooping together. Once you've shit on each other, that's it - there's nothing else bad that can happen. Good job you've got MrBitey in training though otherwise lochia might've come as a shock. JB was so de-sensitized by this time he barely flinched.

MOG! One of the FESH is coming directly back to PESH without BESHing - worra shlag!

Oooh and definitely MOG, how v.exciting :)

Pone I might still have skinny wrists but I am currently tipping the scales at 13+ stone and do not give a monkey's ass. Isn't the radius the centre to the edge, anyway? In which case her wrists are somewhat on the large side and I suspect you have measured the circumference of yours instead? :)

V.glad the epic barfing/shitting has ceased. Now for the rehydration and toast.

owly You're completely right. I am a div. Circumference! A 7" radius would indeed be treetrunk wrists!

LadyG stop fibbing - you blatantly didn't sprint anywhere! I have also discovered secret stretchmarks just under my bump (can only see them with mirror). This baby is already grounded until it's 18.

Good luck for today - see you on the other side.

Alps who the hell measures their wrists? Glad you are managing to keep fluids down my lovely.

Bites you've got to lay the law down with FDH. Otherwise you're setting a precedent for "amusing" anecdotes about the less-than-dignified aspects of pushing out a baybee. You don't want them passed around the table at a dinner party. Act now and swiftly. We can send a delegation of angry full-term PESH to deal with him if necessary.

Right, better go and prepare for 10.30 sweep. Laters.

Ooooh who???

Hello cunty

Glad you have regained control of your functions ski sounds like a horrible bug you poor thing

Good luck today gaga

What news of foxy?

I am feeling a bit today after talking to my SIL last night. We aren't very close but she has been very intense about the baybee since the moment we told her. She is making me feel a bit like an incubator and is one of those people who grab your belly and doesn't take the cue when you are backing away and removing their hands. She also cries everytime she's sees my growing belly. As an eg of what she is doing - she stressed me out at the 20 week scan by ringing my mobile every five minutes to see if there was any news. I had to wait over an hour to be seen so she rang a lot even though I kept telling her I would ring her when it was over. She rang twice during the scan! (Could have switched phone off but had snuck out of work and needed to keep an eye on emails). After the scan I rang the FDH who rang her while I rang my mum as I walked back to the car. She then rang me SEVEN times on the way home, I had to keep cutting the calls off as was driving and called her back when I pulled in. She was furious that I hadn't rung her and knew that I had rung someone because she hadn't been able to get through.

Anyhoo she is now ringing every night so see if there is news. If we don't answer the landline she calls both our mobiles and sends over excited texts. Last night I decided this had to stop so told her that we were at home and no there was no news but when there was we would ring her. She said she knew we would call her at the first twinge and would try and relax. I explained that we would not be calling at the first twinge, that I haven't had a baybee before and didn't know how it was going to go. My mother and sister have both had very difficult births and I didn't want to be providing updates throughout the night. I want this laying business to be me, the FDH, the midwife and bitey bach. He may pop out or I may need interventions, I don't fucking know!

So she said she understood this and would wait for news. Then asked to speak to the FDH and told him that she knew where I was coming from but she is his sister and if he wants to someone to talk to while I am in labour he must ring her and if he can ring her anyway she would love to know. Actually, I'm not am

Sorry for coming over all AIBU, but am I? I'm worrying now that I am being hormonal and mental! Given her track record I am imagining her arriving at the birth centre with her husband and two babies while I am having stitches or having first go at BFing! And even more annoying, if I need my mum is that then going to be perceived as keeping his family at bay while allowing mine in?

No, YANBU, She is clearly completely barking mad. Why not keep a tally of the number of calls and texts she's sent you and then present her with this hard data (preferably in front of an audience)? It might make her feel foolish and stop. It is not on that she is making you stressed and cross; this is not the time to be feeling like that.

And no, you have every right to summon your mum in preference to anyone else - you are having a baby. You also have every right to ensure that if she turns up at the birth centre she will be sent away - the MWs deal with this sort of thing all the time and will generally be pretty damn good at deflecting unwanted visitors.

My inlaws are all going to be hovering too having travelled from far off lands/Yorkshire in preparation. I am damned if I am letting them into the house until I am feeling human and have worked out wtf to do with the baybee. They will just have to sod off.

Bitey she sounds like a loon and needs to back the fuck off. I hate having my space invaded like that. I fell out with my mum last pregnancy as I couldn't bear the daily interrogation and asked her to back off. I think FDH should have words frankly as clearly it is stressing you out which is absolutely not what you want at this stage. In mean time you have to switch off phone, screen calls and draw the curtains. I can't believe she has kids of her own and is acting like this!

Bitch midwife refused to sweep me. Or even have a look. Her reasoning was that cervix was so high up last week and as I haven't had any period type pains over the weekend it wasn't worth it as nothing would have happened. Cow. So they are going to do it Friday. Last chance saloon as induction is Sunday so they will be bringing out the big guns. So then I was in Asda not 30 mins after (buying slippers for hossie). What do I get? Period fucking cramps. Seem to have gone away now though. Have shoved some EPO up. But have run out of RLT. Ordered more but who know when it will arrive. Baby was fine and active though. I, however, have just comfort eaten 2 chocolate biscuits. It's all her fault.

I never had period type pains or backache in run up to MiniG's birth though - just woke up having contractions. So I think she is wrong. And I hate her. I was very close to ripping knickers off and screaming, "Sweep this, bitch" in classic ESH stylee.

ladyG Wtf? She could've at least fucking looked before telling you she wasn't going to bother. Lazy fucking bitch! I could understand it if she actually looked, had a feel and then said "sorry, but this is going to be very painful and very ineffectual, let's take another look on friday" - but to not even look?

Totally agree about your SIL bitey , she's fucking mental and bang out of order. FDH needs to indeed step in and tell her to back the fuck off. Also now that you're done with work... you are allowed to turn it off you know. And file it at the back of the bookcase. You're allowed to unplug the housephone and ignore the doorbell. If it's really important they'll call FDH.

Sorry, but seriously, 7 phonecalls during a car journey? That's stalky-stalky-teenage-girlfriend behaviour! Twat.

GG would you be able to get someone else to have a rummage? GP, maybe? Hossie MW? Cos Friday is bloody ages away and I concur with Pony , that is a right bag of shite. How can she possibly know without checking?

She is the hossie midwife. And I won't be seeing the community midwife again now. Bloody hell. Am going to have to have sex

GG!! I almost fell off my seat at the image of you shouting 'sweep this, bitch' Of course, it's not funny at all that she couldn't be arsed to look. I think you should try owlie's plan of eating pineapple and nothing else for the next week oh, and carry heavy things. I know what you mean about not knowing about how it'll feel if it's a gradual thing - I had the same experience - woke up in a damp patch thinking my pelvis was on fire . Actually, I'd already given birth at this point in my first pregnancy!

Bitey Fucking mental. Have a word and tell her 'thanks for the interest but back off' or you really won't be able to get her out of your house afterwards. Tell FDH you might kill her and see if that helps him to have a word. And, of course your mum should have priority over her... madness.
I've had to accept the inlaws presence because of the cs, otherwise we'd be up shit creek. However, I was informed last night that they still haven't booked the return trip so I made up a story that they had to go by a certain date because the flat they'll be in isn't free afterwards Sometimes lying is a good thing.

oh... teh sechs.

Not Teh Sechs!!!

Bugger and boo at the lack of available sweeping people.

Thank you oh sane ones! I am not usually this wet but when faced with such odd behaviour do find myself questionning myself and trying rationalise the irrational. Will have words with the FDH tonight. Have put in my birth plan that no visitors are allowed to birth centre too. We didn't behave like this when she had her babies, am now wondering if she thought we didn't care?

gaga I'm so sorry that the sweep went so off the plan! What a cow! Can you ring her back and say you have had cramps since her visit? Chocolate biscuits eaten for comfort will have no effect on your blood sugar, that is a fact.

I must admit I have been wondering about this unable to reach the cerix business so have had a poke. WHERE IS IT? How very very strange!

The weird thing is upon getting home from hossie, I ate: 2 chocolate biscuits, a peach, some peanut butter straight from the jar, a big bowl of brown rice casserole left over from yesterday's Spanish chicken and a load of greek yoghurt in spirit of rebellion. Blood sugar is fine

When is your date, Macca?