January 2012: just POAS!!!

[Spagbolagain]

Anybody else out there?????
Very surprised, had only SWI once and I thought we had missed the window of opportunity. It seems not, BFP yesterday, royal wedding treat. EDD about 2nd Jan I think.

#2 for me, keeping fingers tightly crossed as had a bumpy ride before conceiving DS. Very excited and slightly terrified. :)

shonnomanom winter is all very well, but how the hell will i get my shoes and socks on????!!!!!

and i am having nightmares about being stranded in the snow/ice. I live at the bottom of a steep hill and the hospital is at the top!!!!

[welcomes the new ladies on the list]

knittie it would be lovely if I could just block off some of the day but unfortunately it won't work for my office. There are only six of us here and it's my boss who is suggesting the meetings - I can't really tell him no without telling him why not, if you see what I mean, and they'll certainly know if I've booked out some time but am just sitting in the office.

I'm sure he'll be very understanding and all but since they've never had anyone on maternity in this office before (although head office in US has) I want to make sure I know my rights before making the announcement. Unfortunately how I'm treated will be dictated by the head office in the US, which I think only permits 3 months' mat leave and then you pretty much have to come back full time. Of course, they'll have to abide by UK law, but they'll be shocked to hear I can have so much time, especially if I decide in the end that I want to come back part time (a likely option, especially at first), and I think they'll assume I'm not really serious about my career - which I am, actually.

As am sure you can tell, I'm a bit worried about it. I need to be better informed before I talk to work. Also, I changed jobs in December and have much more responsibility and am performing the role a lot better than my predecessor (who as it happens is still in the building). I hardly got a pay rise at all even though I moved from assistant in one department to the effective director of another (small) department so I'm hoping that I'll get some kind of reward at my annual review - again, not something I want to jeopardise with an early announcement.

How is everyone else going to deal with this kind of thing? I feel a bit like I'm reinventing the wheel at my company...

Very true Supadupa, I think wellies are going to be our bestfriends this winter.

ghost im the only employee at my work so my situation is very different from yours. However I intend to go back to work mid April as I dont want to do myself out of a job.
I hope youu get the support/treatment that you need.

thanks shonno and that's a tough decision to have to make! Am sure it will work out for you though. I'm not really sure - and don't think I will be until I actually experience being a parent! - but suspect I might want to be off work for several months. My job is not at all well paid which is a bugger most of the time but actually means that we won't be in a position where my wage is crucial (at least, not down to the month in which I go back). Fortunately DH's wage is good at the moment and since he's military we more or less know what he will be paid until he leaves in 8 years.

Information is key here I think!

Absolutely agree, information is the key!
I have the added bonus of my mum having dd (and next year bump too) when im at work, she lives around the corner from my work. Also during school term I only work in the afternoon so im not away from the little one(s) for very long.

wow that's brilliant!

the thing I'm most uneasy about at the moment is that both sets of parents live 200+ miles away (DH and I had to move for work due to our respective industries). When I was little, I visited my grandparents at least twice a week and they helped my mum loads when she went back to work, and it was brilliant. I'm still close to my grandparents now.

Unfortunately, I'll be doing a lot of this on my own as the grandparents are so far away and DH will have to travel a lot with work. In fact, when I'm back, I'll have to travel a fair bit so we'll have to arrange leave very carefully. Nonetheless, this is what we wanted to do, so we'll have to make it work!

Hi ladies- nice to meet you all! Also joing from other thread. Due 19 Jan (c. 7 weeks pg), 1st baby. Very excited after having had horrible mc earlier in the year. Going for a second (!!) early scan next tuesday so fingers crossed for that. Last one told us it's in the right place and right size, but was too early to see if everything's ok. We haven't told anyone yet, but might be tempted if all goes well next week.
Trying not to think to much about mat leave yet- just taking everything day to day, but my office gives 6 months paid, plus the holiday time you would have had! not at all bad! And I love my job, so I expect i'd be keen to get back by then, but who knows!

Hi Partypopper & congrats to you!

Ghosteditor- I see your point, my sneaky trick won't work for you. I work in the civil service so every situation has a policy written in full and at length. I was 'required' to tell my manager straightaway and we have to do a full risk assessment, I suppose to cover any liabilities but it includes stuff like making sure I can take short rest breaks, drinks of water and (in theory) have work stress assessed to try and reduce it. My manager hasn't had anyone pg to deal with before and keeps throwing extra work my way so I think I'll be reminding him to do the risk assessment soon. He seems to forget that I'm part-time too as my workload is the same as my fulltime colleagues. It's hard to not want to appear capable so I'm my own worst enemy! You probably already know but the Directgov site has lots of info in the Parents section so if you read up in advance you can reassure your employer.

As for going back, our unflash but lovely council nursery has just put the fees up and my 4 day week costs nearly £700 for dd. The baby room is dearer so with the cost of commuting I'm not sure it will be worth the effort to keep my pension going. I'm hoping to negotiate a career break with my dh but that seems such a long way off I'm keeping quiet about my plans for now! Would you rent your mum to me please Sho?!

council nursery has just put the fees up and my 4 day week costs nearly £700 for dd.

Put it this way - I would not be working! Here's hoping that childcare is less expensive here in the sticks (though house prices are actually among the highest in the country)

I know what you mean about wanting to appear capable - I have a chronic inability to say no so I will be performing a mostly-unnecessary presentation on my department across a conference call to head office next week. Here's hoping the nausea lifts by then...

Well it's £697.85 a month to be exact although thankfully some of that is reduced by the termtime free hours entitlement, for which I nearly wept with happiness when it kicked in last year. We used to have a childminder (£35 a day) who was lovely but dd got increasingly more unhappy about going (she started to sob on the way there each morning) and she loved nursery from her first day. She sometimes asks to go to nursery at the weekend so I think we're dull company by comparison!
You have my sympathy for the conf call next week - I get a flat ear afterwards and dislike not having faces to scan for feedback as I talk. Technological progress hmmm?! Good luck with yours!

knittiekitty haha rent out my mum! I honestly dont think she has yet realised that this time next year she will be looking after dd(3y) and my D? and my brothers D? both under 1year. Luckily for her its not all day everyday. So much for retirement eh?!
Would your Dd maybe compromise with you and go to nursery 2days and the childminder 2days or maybe 4mornings in one and the afternoons in the other? What age is your Dd?

Got some sleep bras from Mothercare yesterday and had my best night sleep in weeks! Also bought some maternity clothes (early I know) but Mothercare had a 'buy 2 get 3rd free' offer on and Dorothy Perkins had 30% off! Got:
2 x shorts (Madeira in August. Will be 20 weeks)
1 x black trousers
2 x dresses (I can actually wear them WITHOUT a bump too!)
1 x check shirt

My mother is going baby mad. (Hope the scan goes okay - eek! Booking appointment on Tuesday. Will know scan date when I go me thinks.)

I am now 9 weeks + 1 day and everything is going fine - fingers crossed!

Have MW appt next week - still no sign of any scan date though. Whats the bet its at 12 weeks when I'm out of the country! Hopefully once I have the scan it will all seem more real. Have been v lucky with no sickness and nausea so far. On the other hand it make me question am I really pg?

Around half of all pregnant women experience nausea and vomiting. < From the nhs website, you must be part of the 50% who are sickness free.

I still need to ring up and make sure the doctor sorted me a booking app out, keep putting it off as I hate ringing the place up.

Sho - we did think about that but she was so certain she wanted nursery and she was only 3 so we went with it. She's 4 now and starts school in Sept so end of fees in sight. Our local schools start part-time at first which isn't going to be easy to sort. It will be 8.50 until 12 for two weeks followed by the possibility of a full day depending upon the child. It's odd for us as we're used to the possibility of 8-6 childcare (except I can't get up for 8am start!) Things are never straightforward!

Trubble - I'm v green, literally, so enjoy your lucky state! I'm getting so fed up with nausea. I'm supposed to be doing a reading at my bf's wedding next weekend but really not sure as I can't retch in front of all her guests. It's bad enough that I have to read The Owl and the Pussycat, imagine breaking off halfway to dry heave!

Hi everyone.

Im 9 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. I have 2 DD and Ive also had 2 MC. Had scan last week and everything was ok, so Im keeping everything crossed for this pregnancy. Im feeling very sick, sore boobs, etc, all the usual which I keep telling myself are good signs. Ive got my booking in appointment this Wednesday.

trubble Im going to be pushing for my 12 week scan as Im going out of the country the week after.... got to be firm!!! lol

Hi

I've been noseying around this thread and everybody seems really friendly and supportive :) I'm 7 weeks PG and found out a couple of weeks ago - it's my first PG and I'm 43 years old. It's a bit of a shock as I thought it would never happen!

Still early days and trying not to get too excited. My EDD is 28/1/2012. I have my first MW appt on 13/6. They've given me a form to fill in for the scans but it asks for a hospital number - do I get that from the MW?

Hi everyone waves nervously. Just found out I'm pregnant this week so thought would join in as everyone seems lovely.

We've been TTC for nearly a year and were a week away from appt at fertility unit after initial tests found a problem - so am still in shock at the BFP (did 6 tests to make sure!)

So far I've been feeling slightly sick and dizzy (nothing too bad, just like a hangover) sore boobs and mild cramps - but no extreme tiredness or actually throwing up. Worried I don't feel pregnant enough and finding it hard to believe I actually am - just wondering when it'll feel real! Does anyone else feel like this?

Hi Jillowan, Congratulations!
I feel similar. More dizzy than sick though I suppose, more like the feeling when you get up too quickly. Boobs are beginning to feel sore just the last couple of days and slight twinges in the belly. No extreme tiredness or sickness yet either. I seem to verge between forgetting I'm pregnant and mild panic!

Thanks Parsley - same to you!
Really reassuring you're in the same boat symptoms-wise - sure we'll both be looking back at this time fondly if it hits us full-on.
It's nice to be able to talk about it, as for far the only people who know are my husband, one friend and my Dr. Have you told many people yet?
Know what you mean about the mild panic too! :-)

I've told my OH, parents and the Dr is all. I've been waivering between telling people in case something bad happens and not telling them in case something bad happens

Welcome and Congrats Linda, Parsley and Jillowan!

I started feeling nauseous at around 7 weeks and now at 9 weeks it feels like I have constant motion sickness but havent actually been sick. Had lots of retching which gets me some funny looks. :) Think something like 3 in 10 get nausea without vomiting, so its pretty normal.

dOgFace and knittiekitty, I feel your pain! My nausea has been around for a couple of weeks (I'm about 7.5 weeks now) but it's suddenly taken a turn for the worse. No actual vomiting, but I'm feeling sick pretty much all the time :(

So far my pantheon of acceptable foods includes: ginger biscuits (top pick - guaranteed to banish nausea if only temporarily); mango (expensive and environmentally unfriendly but needs must); apples; cold chicken; miso soup. Would be keen to hear any other suggestions!

someone please be a dear and nip to macdonalds and get me a mcflurry. i am in bed feeling bleugh, and have noone at home to to send out

Parsley and Jill I feel exactly the same! Constantly having little moments like jerking awake when I remember that I'm pg and almost have to pinch myself! Guess you are first timers too?
I've told loads of people cos I can't cope with keeping up a lie in social situations... like my own hen do last night!! If the worst happens I would prob tell people anyway, I'm not one to keep my own stuff to myself and I like sharing stuff with friends. Just trying to keep it quiet at work for now cos I don't really get on with my boss and don't want to tell her until I'm 100% ready to. She's not someone I share stuff with!!!
No nausea yet, but also dizzy spells, sore boobs and twinges in my tummy. Hope I carry on feeling OK, but it's weird not to feel more different or look more different, I think that's why it still doesn't really feel real.
Still waiting to hear from mw as well about my first appt and scan...