Hello everyone
Congrats to GOLDEN, ENTHUSIA & TWINKLE! And anyone else I?ve missed (I need to have a proper read of the post since I?ve been out of action)
it has taken some time to get into swing of things and recover. i was 'released' from hospital on thursday evening, have since been preoccupied with getting to grips with breastfeeding, recovering and seeing visitors
At last it's now just the 3 of us! James, me and our adorable FINN (full name EDWARD FINN) who was born Monday 7th Nov at 10 pm, weighing in at 8lb 5oz.
I would love you to see him ? will post photos tomorrow
I am very happy with how the birth turned out. I was glad to have the help of a doula - she was invaluable in helping us negotiate hospital politics and getting the active birth that i hoped i would have - i.e. spontaneous, using the hypnobirthing techniques, waterpool (+ tens machine and gas and air).
On the dark side i tore very badly. By stage 2 I was very tired (I had been in hospital by that point for 40 hours and hadn't slept much at all during that time (!), I had a small bleed on Sunday morning and went in to get it checked out, and ended up being kept in for observation for the whole day. Labour proper started at 2 a.m. on Monday morning. I was in active labour (4cms +) for only 16 of those 40 hours.
The contractions slowed down after 3-4 hours in the birthing pool, which I got me from 7 to 10 cms. Eventually I got hot and bothered and we all agreed that the baby was 'stuck' and I should get out of the pool and 'rest and be thankful'. I had had enough by this point. I was stuck in this awful place where i felt the need to push out the baby that was pushing against my perineum but didn't have any of the power or force to do it. it was a such a strange feeling a bit like needing to be sick but having nothing to throw up. And i was SO TIRED and unamused. I begged the midwife to transfer me to the labour ward for whatever interventions necessary - an epidural, forceps, c-section. The midwives and doula reassured me that the baby would eventually and naturally become unstuck. I just needed to be patient. By this stage I was quite stroppy and was shouting NO! NO! JUST HELP ME GET HIM OUT! While waiting for the registrar, leaning over the hospital bed, retching and vomiting while sucking on the gas and air, it seemed the vomiting got things moving again and everyone in the room started shouting 'keep going keep going, three more pushes and he'll be out', so I decided to give it one last go (not expecting it to work) and pushed with all my might-you should see my bloodshot eyes afterwards-spurred on by the sight of the emerging baby's head in the mirror that the doula had placed on the floor.
Hope this isn't TMI or scaring anyone who has yet to give birth.
What happened next is a bit of a blur. I remember looking at James's pale shocked face, and then FINN shot out. the midwife passed him to me through my legs, i couldn't stop shaking. he was warm and wet and his glassy dark blue eyes were open. He looked beautiful, adorable, all chubby with loads of hair, a little bit grey-faced, but mostly pink everywhere else. He didn't cry but made a little raspy sound. I bent over to try to pull him to my chest to cuddle him but the cord inside was too short. It felt very odd to feel a tug inside and be reminded that he and I were still connected. james cut the cord and the MW cleared the baby's nostrils. And then, as everyone says, the pain disappeared.
I was completely unprepared for the amount of blood that there would be (it looked particuarly frightening/surreal, the fact that I was standing up when delivering baby and placenta, as it gushed down my legs, and there was a large mirror on the floor multiplying the amount of 'red'). it was like "there's been a mudder"
In the race to get it all over with, I guess i ignored the 'stop pushing and start panting' instruction and I ended up with a 4th degree tear - vag to bum including the sciphincter muscle so i did end up having a spinal block (now THAT felt very wierd) and had 90 minutes of suturing in theatre. I don't know yet if i'll have problems in the future, but have been referred to be followed up by a bum doctor specialist at end of November) and i'm on some heavy duty painkillers and think (HOPE) 4th degree sounds worse than it actually is.
FINN is delightful he sleeps quite alot, breastfeeding is going okay nipples sore and feel like a bag of stones but think all this is typical. James is going back to work on tuesday but my mum will stay for a week and then he is off again the week after . have'nt ventured out much as I feel weak and i'm a bit scared to subject our little fresh pure baby to the dirty outside world.
Well it's time the three of us went to bed.
Isn't it wonderful!!
haven't had time to catch up on everyone elses news but will do when i get a little more time next week.
take care everyone, Jen x