Jue in June 2011....... third trimesters here we come!!!!!

[Clarkiee]

Hello,
Started a new thread ladies, fingers crossed it works xx

Any other first-timers been reading the 'New Baby' thread on here? I'm loving its honesty; it's so reassuring to know it's all going to be an incredible mess, no-one actually is fabulous or even remotely on top of it for an age, and you get through it somehow happily and groggily.

What baby books are people buying? I hear all sorts of stories about various ones being good/awful. I really just want a no bullshit book that will help us get our little newborn into a pattern without traumatising any of us or making me feel I'm doing it all wrong if I follow her lead too much. I think we'll give that Contented Little Baby woman a miss, have yet to hear a good word about her way of doing things. That thread above just said that No-Cry Sleep Solution is a good one - anyone got any recommendations?

Yep jer I've been reading it and have been mostly reassured that I am at least aware of most of the things they didn't know. But I also know there's a huge difference between knowing it and knowing it!

My mum bought me The Contented Little Baby Book and I absolutely hated it. It freaked me out! I do have a book by Penelope Leach - Your Baby and Child - which is basically the opposite and has lots of practical how-to-keep-your-baby-alive sorts of information, which is my main concern! But she's famous for being very child-centred, I think, to such an extent that it makes parents feel guilty. I think I'm okay on the guilt front (we'll see, I know!) and I'm not going to be using anything as a Bible - just as a set of possible tips - so I think it's useful :)

I haven't got any other books and I wasn't planning on getting any. Maybe I should have ...

Oooh PS thanks so much sasamaxx for your sling information! Do you run a sling shop? You should! You could have hammocks in the garden for the really stressed out mums for whom an ordinary sling just won't do anymore

Sorry to those of you who are feeling sick again. I'm entering the 3rd trimester on Sunday so I know my relatively easy 2nd trimester is coming to an end! mn2 I've never heard of bump numbness/burning, so can't help. Sorry! I'm sure it's fine though - maybe just trapped nerves as you expand? Maybe the mw to check it out?

Hi jer I just had a quick look at that thread. All true, I'm afraid. I went into Oxford yesterday alone and I felt naked. But then I rarely leave the house without 3 in tow. With regard to baby books, I read The baby whisperer. But if you do IGNORE all the breastfeeding advice. If you've got time, read a few books, pick the bits you like, and make up your baby rearing philosophy from there. Shall I tell you a secret? We're all winging it :)

Jer, the baby estimating thing is not really a science, they don't do it early on but from about 24-28 weeks they take your fundal height by measuring from the pubic bone to top of the womb and plot it on a graph and is only an estimation. If you have previous babies their birth weights are also plotted on the chart as a sort of baseline thing for comparison if that makes sense. I don't kn ow if they do it in all areas as it really isn't exact

Knackered, MillieMuffin and Mother thank you so much for your position advice - I am definately going to try something different this time round if at all possible. Sounds fantastic and appears you've all had your most positive experiences from not being on your back!.

Moomin, I was thinking about you all last night. Kept thinking "I wonder how it happened", "was waters breaking first sign of labour" etc.. so thank you so much for sharing your story. How fabulously brave you've been. It really must have been such a shock. Im so glad you got a cuddle with Florence and that shes doing well. How are you feeling, yourself now? Am also embarrased to admit that I left out your dh in my last post but obviously a huge congratulation to Moomin's OH.

8 thanks a million - I havent actually asked him (my boss) yet but am pretty much resigned to the fact that Im taking it off end of (as Im being so obliging about when Im coming back). So glad you've had some good news regarding the injection - completely agree - its horrible being stuck in the hospital all day. I would love to stay at home for as long as possible (with dd I was brought in on day 11 overdue for induction so was in hospital all day and with ds, waters breaking was first sign of labour and there was loads of meconium in waters so I had to go in immediately and contractions started in hospital so was there for ages) in an ideal world, if I could have it my way, I'd love to spend the best part of this time labouring at home before going in.

My pelvis/bum/hip area is getting really bad - so much that I have to get dh to help me out of bed and am having alot of trouble trying to get up and down stairs (4 damn flights to my office). Im thinking of using a set of crutches at home as much as possible to try and ease some of the discomfort. It sounds like spd, doesnt it?.

aaarrrgh why does that keep happening???

Mother thanks for the offer - Im going to carb up and get to the shops today. Much to my own disgust I will be driving not walking but I have made a pact with myself to stop being medicalised and to go back to listening to my own body - if it wants to rest and be in bed for a few days then thats what is going to happen.

Who was asking about baby books? I like one called 'What to Expect the 1st Year' by Heidi E. Murkoff - seems like a sensible read. I also have Dr Miriam Stoppard's Conception, Pregnancy and Birth which is ok but a bit evangelical about natural births and breastfeeding in places. The one I would say to avoid is the 'Handbook of Midwifery' which is a medical textbook my DH has...bloody terrifying...but then I wouldnt expect the average household to have that!

Yoga last night was fun...a new course and nice to be back after the break. Was really sweet how many ladies were 12/13 weekers being jealous of our bumps...seems like just yesterday!

Task for today - find out how the hell the baby sling my friends have given me actually goes on

Ooo, one more little chuckle - was playing bump some music yesterday and he was jigging along to the Weather Girls, Abba and the Pet Shop Boys...by conicidence DH texted to ask if we can go for a weekend in Brighton when he's on leave...I had to laugh thinking bump seems to have particularly gay tastes in music and now DH wants to introduce him to Brighton!

8rubberduckies I'm not surprised it did his back in - it places all of the weight on the shoulders and upper back, when it is far more comfortable to spread the weight across the whole torso and hips. No one even notices until the baby is a bit heavier because they are so weightless at the start. I bet if you got a plainish connecta or yamo or something, he'd find an unbelievable difference

TTL lol nah I don't run a sling shop - would be great fun though People do actually use long woven wrap slings as hammocks, but generally for kids

Jer79 I read the Baby Whisperer 1st time around - although it's not totally rigid with routines, it does insist that the baby's sleep, play and eat times are always in the same order which kind of stressed me out, desperately trying to fit the baby into this system. I'm sure it works really well for some people, but it just made me doubt myself quite a lot. I did really like the Sears Baby Book - he's very baby-led (as well as Penelope Leach) which kind of suited me better, and he also has sections on what to expect development-wise etc, health concerns etc - he's a big sling advocate as well lolol.
I liked the No Cry Sleep Solution - she has good ideas that are worth a shot, and a gentle way about her.

Overall, I preferred the books that admitted that all babies are different and it's trial and error a lot of the time, rather than those which promise to get the baby sleeping through and all that - because if they don't work, you feel like a failure . I agree with motherofsnortpigs - none of us have the answers and we just muddle through as best we can.

LOL at jasmine

Have just realised that Im 30 weeks today! officially on the countdown now and am 3/4 way there .

Now... have just missed a call from researcher on TV3 (our BBC) who contacted me through an Irish parenting forum where I was ranting about the lack of maternity care Im receiving. Apparantly will be a programme next Wednesday night. Off to ring her back, wish me luck...

YES Barbie that really sounds like SPD - I'm using a walking stick in the house (too embarrassed to use it outside) and driving absolutely everywhere. Have you been referred to physio?

Oh good luck for your TV thing - can't believe one of our group will be on TV

Mother and Sasa if only everybody was like you two and admitted they were winging it! There seems to be some crazy real life thing of feeling you're supposed to know it all, because everyone else somehow does, and never to admit you're flailing. I plan to accept every bit of advice offered and wing it proudly.

Thanks for the book tips. My Amazon basket is getting just ridiculous. Mind you, you should see my eBay Watch List, as my way of 'not shopping'.

I think, amazingly, that I have almost finally bored myself with being pregnant (apart from on here), having gone from a fairly normal person to a one-subject obsessive. Did anyone else find that becoming pregnant made them a bit difficult to engage with if it wasn't about The Baby?

Thing I regret a little about it is that this is our only real time as a couple before the subject legitimately dominates our lives, and I've wasted quite a lot being obsessed with pregnancy/the baby. I would love a few weeks now of talking about other things in real life and savouring these last few weeks of just being us.

Jasmine I also like the What to Expect book and have the toddler years one too for DS!

Jer a lovely health visitor once said to me when I was in tears after a particularly bad day with DS that it's the ones who say everything is fine all the time that you really need to watch out for! I

Barbie do let us know how you get on with TV3.

Oooh, how exciting being on the TV Barbie! Not about your lack of antenatal care though. I don't know anything about spd but that sounds terrible. Is it something that physio or osteopathy could help?

Thanks TTL I mentioned it to the consultant at my appt this morning and he said it's normal and wasn't a concern but didn't say what it could be. Trapped nerve makes sense though.

I'm also in the winging it club Jer. I plan to consult books (or probably just ask on mumsnet!) as and when I need to. I figure that sometimes it's better to use your natural instincts and play it by ear. They may prove to be my famous last words though!

sasamaxx physio? you must be joking!! I cant even talk them into giving me a scan/ letting me know if my blood count/ iron is low!!.

Thanks all but no.. Im not actually going to be on telly - I just cant!, shes asked me a couple of time to appear but given that I work for the Health Service, appearing on nationwide tv slating their service may not do me any favours. Shes interviewed me on the phone today though and has asked it they can share my story (I went private with ds, public now - interested in the difference in care/ lack of in public system) on the programme, will be contacting me later this week too. Cant wait to see programme.

MN2 Glad that its nothing to be worried about.

Oh me too Jer!! definately!!. I could not make a decision over anything to do with dd without first consulting my stack of parenting books/ internet/ whatever else I could get my hands on and then, of course, felt guilty about absolutely every choice I made. Have definately learned and took completely different approach with ds though, (poor mites being dragged up!! ) basically to stop being so hard on myself and realising that absolutely no parent is/ can be perfect. Im definately not, make loads of mistakes but dont worry in the slightest anymore - DC are adored, secure, confident and happy, they are well fed and (well, mostly) clean. We're doing fine by them - Im a good mother and dh is a good father because we do our best by our dc and always have their best interests at heart (despite all the mistakes). I wish someone told me to relax and enjoy my dd when she was tiny - I spent and wasted sooo much time beating myself up.

Just a quick pennies worth on parenting books and then honestly I will get on with my essay . . . after lunch . . . . . and a cup of tea . . .etc!

I had The Baby Whisperer and followed it a bit for a few weeks (ignoring all things breastfeeding related, just fed her when she was hungry at what ever time!). Decided after I spent half an hour crying behind a door because I couldn't get her to sleep when she was 'supposed' to that I would never look at the book again, and I didn't! I'd like to add there was, and still is, crying behind doors but at least I know it's not because of a book making me feel like a failure .

Being a mum is a learning curve and one that is hugely steep in the first few weeks. My dd is 6 and I'm still learning and I know I will never stop learning because everyone changes, especially children . Books are great to dip into for a bit of advice if you're unsure of something but I would trust in yourself more then a book . . . . . and hear endeth the lecture

Happy Wednesday all, enjoy the sun

Moomin Sounds like you were amazing . Glad to hear all is going well so far, you'll have your gorgeous little girl home with you before you know it. Take care of you and the rest of the moomins :)

barbie i like your advice about not wasting time beating myself up and enjoy instead..I'm going to try really hard to do that.

Congratulations moomin! I'm a bit behind but really pleased that everything has been ok and sending lots of good luck vibes your way! Beautiful name too!!

so I finish work on friday ready for maternity leave, and feeling a little guilty that its so early (I'll be 27+4) but the way my training contract works is that I have to stop at end of March or end of Sept - clearly Sept not going to work! Planning to try and get my thesis done in the next month or so but keep hearing about early babies!

oh and have to share the discovery of mini egg CAKES!! they are amazing - brought some in to say bye to my team today as we have our meeting on a weds and they disappeared v v quickly....YUM!!

I was interested in lots of the other posts but thought of choc has distracted me so can't remember to comment xx

Hi ladies - can I join again? I posted a few times early on nut haven't for ages although i do keep an eye on the thread so know what's been going on!

Congratulations Moomin - wow - that is amazing :) I love your choice of name.

Nurse I am planning a homebirth. I had a hospital birth last time but couldn't bear all the travelling to and from hospital so this time I am hoping to be at home wiht all my thigns around my etc. I'm another one who couldn't stand being on my back - I have birth on all fours which is just what felt right for me... HATED being on my back, even for examinations etc.

Am trying to read all the posts honest, but my brain jsut tanked out so I'm giving up for a bit. I have a mild cold (thanks DS) which is making me feel ms type sick again. gah. I managed an abridged shop today, but had to forget the fish and meat aisles. Lots of fruit and veg though.

No books for me this time as I get a bit obsessed. Had Kaz Cooke's Rough Guide to Pregnancy last time though. I found her humourous yet educated approach really helpful as I had quite a bit of trouble getting my head around being unexpectedly upduff with DS.

I wanted to respand to some other posts too, but my brain is currently trying to escape out my ear and crawl away across the floor. Sorry. Take care all xx

Have just found a fab use for my baby sling now I've worked out how it goes on...wore it upstairs and filled it with stuff that needed to be brought down...excellent!

Great use for a sling Jasmine - and sensible to get some practice in early

lol jasmine.

I've been in work this morning. Started feeling a bit shakey at lunch time. Got release time in the afternoon because I am middle management so after all my colleagues told me to go home I agreed that the time would be best spent 'managing myslef'. Bonus is that I will miss Staff meeting (numeracy based yawn ). I work with some lovely people, think I might buy some flowers nd write a thank you card to brighten up the staff room .

Does anyone else find it a bit hard to relax? I just keep thinking of things that I could be doing (ironing, putting wash on, making tea etc- these things don't stress me out or anything). I have always been rubbush at sitting still (unless I'm about to have a nap).

fanjo hope your brain doesn't manage to escape out of your ear cause that sounds painful!

Glad you got to have a cuddle with little Florence moomin x

Hope storm updates soon

I have done SFA in work today - can you tell . Oh well, will pay for it tomorrow. Found this list, dont know if it'll help anyone and everyones different but might be a little guide for some. Am sure we'll add and cut from it but its a start. Sorry so long:

Labour room bag (bring this with you when going in)
1 Nightdress/ old t-shirt for labour (try get one that has buttons down the front if you want to breast feed, even if your not, its very handy for skin to skin)
Maternity pads
knickers (cheap large ones that you wont mind throwing away ? disposables are desperately uncomfortable and I wouldn?t recommend them)
Light Dressing gown (in case you?re walking in the corridor when in labour)
Slippers
Hair clips / hair band
Socks (your feet may get very cold)
Lip balm/ vaseline (lips may get very dry, especially if you use gas & Air)
Some like to bring a drink/ snack for birth partner
1 Baby vest
1 Babygro
Nappies ( 2)
Receiving blanket
The camera, charged !!!!

For Hospital Ward
Breast pads
Nursing bras
Maternity Pads (2 packets at least)
3 x P.J?s (dark coloured if possible)
Slippers or flip flops (flip flops great, would advise you wear them in the shower)
Phone Charger
2 dark Towels
Big Knickers (loads cheap ones that you can throw away)
Face Cloths
Shower Gel
Make up, a tinted moisturiser is handy
Shampoo (get travel sizes if possible)
Conditioner
Toothpaste & toothbrush
Face cream
Deodrant
Arnica tablets and a bottle of witch hazel (arnica to help any bruising ? I swear by these and witch hazel to spray on maternity pads/ pour (mixed with water) over your lady bits when having those first few wees ? bring a little spray bottle if you have it)
lansinoh cream(for those breastfeeding)
Pen and paper (for all those lists of things you need to send home with someone)
Plastic bag for dirty washing
Good book (just in case, I couldn?t sleep after having ds ? was on a high and he was asleep)
Going home clothes and shoes (still maternity unfortunately)

For Baby/hospital
6 x baby vests
6 x Babygro?s
8 x Bibs/muslin squares
2 blankets
2 baby sheets (the hospital did supply these but my dd kept throwing up)
2 x Baby Mits (Some babygro?s have them attached, check if you can ?turn down? the fold on sleeve)
Packet newborn nappies (loads of pooing in the first few days)
Cotton wool (baby wipes aren?t recommended for newborn)
A little bowl so you can put water in to wet the cotton wool (although the hospital will probably give you this)
Soft towel for baby x 1
going home outfit
Hat
Coat/ cardigan for baby going home
Make sure baby car seat is in car!

Shopping list for baby at home
If bottle feeding:
6 X Bottle/Teats
Bottle Brush (comes with steriliser, I think)
Steriliser
Bottle Warmer
Powder Dispenser (brilliant when out and about)
If breast feeding:
Breast Pump
Nursing Pillow
Highchair (thought I?d get away with not getting one for ds as used his buggy for feeding up until now but starting to really need one ? he is 14 months though and they aren?t recommended before 6 months so this can wait)
Bouncer (Not a must have at all but if you?d like it IS handy for the baby to sit in)
Soothers (if you intend on giving one)
Feeding bibs (buy 10,000)
Muslin cloths/spit up cloths

Nursery Essentials
Moses Basket/Crib/Cot (each to their own here too, but you?ll obviously need something for baby to sleep in)
Sheets/blankets (needed loads for dd as she had reflux and was constantly throwing up, you can always use pillow cases/ cut up old bed sheets if you don?t want to buy specific cot ones as they can be expensive)
A grobag (I swear by these)
Changing Mat (I just used the wee fold up one that came free in the changing bag ? most have one ? bought a changing table for dd and it was the biggest waste of money ever ? she was usually changed on my knee/ couch/ bed/ wherever)
Dresser (I do find that I need a chest of drawers for storing baby clothes but again this is each to their own and not a must have)
Nursery Chair (never bothered myself (although they look fabulous))
Cot Mobile (I did get one as I liked something for babies to look at ? not a necessity again though)
Night light ? I just used a little light on my phone, my granny has recently gave me a touch lamp (so it can be dimmed) would advise on having a dim light for night feeds ? we learned the hard way on dd, were turning on lights etc which was only waking her up too much and took ages to settle her, once we started using a very dim light it was much easier to get her back to sleep.
Baby Monitor (depends on your house ? paranoia led me to buy the angel monitor with the alarm)
Room Thermometer (often on the monitor or you?ll receive a little card one free with a grobag)
Sleep Suit
Changing station (as I said, didn?t bother)

Bath Time
Baby Bath (waste of money, bought one and ended up using the sink before progressing to a little bath seat in the big bath)
Bath Thermometer (didn?t get one ? elbow did the job!)
Baby towel ( I did find the wee hood handy ? although not necessary to specifically have a baby towel I don?t think)
Baby sponge
Baby wash/ shampoo etc (if you want to use them otherwise, for the first while, water is fine)

Travel
Car Seat
Pushchair/buggy
Changing Bag (some people use a handbag but we got one as dh needed something when he was out and about and none of my handbags suit him)
Baby Carrier/ sling
Raincover for Buggy
Travel Cot (again not a must have for some but I found brilliant as a playpen/ somewhere to lie baby in downstairs)
Sun blind for car
Baby on Board car sign (PML)

Baby comb/Brush
Baby Nail clippers
Vaseline
Sudocream
Olive Oil(very handy for cradle cap or dry skin)

Clothing
Babygrows(never can have enough) get big enough size.
Vests
Little socks
Scratch Mittins

If you already have dc you may want to buy a little gift for them from the new baby to ease the arrival home!!