The PESH deli - Happy New Year! The one where Polly finally lays and we get lots more BESHy wins.

[PollyPoo]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24

UPDIFFED

PollyPoo, wondering if this baybee is every going to come out, due 23 Dec or 28 Dec, depending on who you trust
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Sorry for the not terribly inventive opening, but I need to moan update you all...

Come in, grab a chair, a wheel of brie and a glass of champagne to welcome in the new year.

Congrats on all the lovely and for those feeling sick - that is just uncalled for. Don't our bodies know the pain of childbirth is bad enough without all the rubbish of pregnancy.

I think I am blooming but no bump (17 weeks now) just huge boobs. Going to JLs as not sure even the set of maternity bras have the capability to cope. Did retch this morning so not all fun and games.

Any more scans coming up?

Sprocket if you do launch some kids clothing I would be interested. There is only so much Thomas the Tank I can cope with.

Gimme your hippo CD nooooooooooooooow, Dealio! I can handle woo if it will prevent me being in pain, OMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Crash-cs doesn't sound funtimes, poor old stick.

That book sounds interesting but I dunno if I could stop laughing at the guy's name long enough to concentrate I nearly failed a module at Uni because the tutor's name was Dickon and it never failed to make me laugh.

Bitey, if horoscopes are to be believed, The Lad will be a Taurean, who love to clash with Scorps. Or if early, an Aries, who clash even worse. Or if late, a Gemini, who wind us up. To be fair, only other Scorpios don't wind up or clash with Scorpios. And even then, they do really. We take our position as the hateful, sociopathic tyrants of the Zodiac verh seriously.

Rocket, I used to write notes at school to help other kids get off doing PE - will also write you a wag-note

Halle - I have found Mat bras to be a rip off although the Mothercare one I bought is pretty good. I looked under Maternity in Debenhams, the fits were pretty awful, I then looked at their none underwired tee shirt bras, they were virtually the same thing except they actually fit and were 3 pound cheaper (or even less if the set of 2 fit you, it didn't me unfortunately) They do larger cup sizes in there as well.

Thought Scorpio and Pisces was supposed to do well, in a yin and yang kind of way. Although having said that all the couples I know that used to vaunt this supposedly ideal coupling have now split up apart from my mum and dad (and we won't go there)

The problem with the note is that the only person I now have to show it to is myself as I am back being 'self-employed" I think there might be some urgent filing I need to send myself to do under the duvet. :o

I could do with some new bras again, but not sure whether to wait to be fitted for nursing ones.

Waaaah! I have just noticed that my feet are immensely swollen and puffed-up! WTF? They look like the feet of someone super-obese! My ankles and calves are still completely normal (ie fairly scrawny). Is this normal at 22 weeks? I've always had bony, corpse-like dancer's feet, this is pathetically consternating me!

What will become of my Imelda Marcos-stylee shoe collection?! Fucking hell, my feet grew a whole size in the first 6 weeks and am now a 7. I can't handle being 5ft 4 and requiring a size 8 shoe. I might as well borrow some off Sideshow Bob's mother...
Arsebuckets, What To Expect... says that feet and ankles can stay bigger and fatter after giving birth. My slender ankles are about the only thing that I like about my entire body!

You can see here how I panic over trivia yet am blase about serious stuff. Always sensible!

Oh no! Have you been on them a lot today? Have you tried putting your feet up? Higher than your heart is best.

Just had my 12 week scan appointment through, it's on Monday afternoon. Can't wait to see the baybee again!

How's this?

Dear rocket leaf inc

Pliz to give sprocket as much time under the duvet as she requires as she is growing a baybee and it's exhausting. Also provision of healthy snacks would be a beneficial part of her staggered return to work.

Kindest regards

ivegotmrbitey
Tormentor in chief to human resources

To my shame, Bitey, have done nowt but laze about like a true slattern today. Am going to put my feet up for a bit and see if that helps. Need to go the shops soon, tho'.

I just keep collecting those jolly old pre-eclampsia signs, one by one...

My Mum wrote the best ever notes for stuff when we were at school:

'To whom it may concern, Scorpette will not be participating in PE today. Yours, ScorpyMum'. When they rang her to ask why, she just used to reply 'because I say so'. The silver lining of poor old Mum having hated PE and having been bullied for being rubbish at it!

Jaysus, I can't keep up with fred AND have a job. S'not fair.

LGG great news about scan and fantastic results too!
Gin If it helps, I had an amazing hospital birth. I even chose to lie on the bed at the end . It was quite simply, the most amazing experience of my life
Kim I practically lived on black pepper kettle chips throughout pregnancy. Can't get them over here any more

bitey good luck for monday! I've got my dating scan on tuesday morning (at 11+3) and nuchal the week after (it's not on the nhs here)... busy times. As for the blooming... I'm not sick but I feel like shit. Everyone I know in the world has asked me if i'm tired today .

bitey do one of them letters for me in Italian pliz. Grazie!

I got cankles from about 20 weeks last time, Scorps. Also went up a shoe size, lasted for a good few months after the birth but most of my size 6 shoe collection fit again. My puffy feet and ankles were no indication of pre-eclampsia at all. Wait til you get sausage fingers too. What a treat.

Medee I'd go another mat bra rather than get fitted for a nursing bra yet - you will be alarmed by how much the buzzwams grow when the milk comes in. Although if you find a nursing bra you like now feel free to buy it (if makes sense) as buzzwams do shrink to more manageable size after the initial excitement when your supply settles down. 2 years down the track I was wearing a 30DD after some ludicrous sized bra you could wear as a bonnet (34H?)immediately post-birth. Mind you back size will shrink after you birth and ribs settle again so may be a nonsense idea from me.

Sorry, that post was entirely unhelpful series of rambling but can't be arsed to edit.

thanks LadyG - I might see if I can hold on a little bit longer then.

Oooh oooh, I haz scan next Wednesday. I will be 11 + 3. Hoorah for all the scans at the same time. Boo for me already shitting myself that the nuchal fold result will be evil/there will be nothing there/etc. Am going to ask the MW to slap me repeatedly with a wet fish tomorrow when I meet her.

Today I have terrible windigestion. I feel I should lock myself in a bunker for the sake of humanity until it wears off.

Good luck for scan next week, Owlie. Tis worrying but I bet baybee is just dandy in there.

What is it with the frigging wind? Is embarrassing and undignified and stinky! But had horrible trapped wind on Sunday and that was worse - horrible bloated pain and wouldn't go for hours.

Thank you, thank you, thank you bitey I c&p your letter into an email and sent it to myself my lovely boss, and she made me a snack and then sent me off to bed for a nice long nap Feel much better now but hungry again. Malt loaf anyone?

Cankles you say? And enlarged feet? Does this mean the absolutely gorgeous purple shoes I bought last week might not fit me when I am not diffed anymore I suppose I can always add a sock taking myself back to the startrite days. I already have awkward feet in that there is a size difference between them.

Ah that's lovely, another week of scans next week, so exciting! Loads of luck to you three. Not that it will be needed as of course everything will be perfect.

Combined chortle/leer at gagas bra ramble/H cups.

Re wind, I have just read that the more you eat in one sitting the more likely you are to get wind. Little and often seems to be the prescription, which suits me!

Also factfans: did you know that the from around 20 weeks the baby drinks the amniotic fluid, to get used to swallowing and digesting etc. And it tastes of what you eat so you can get it used to different flavours? Gross but rather fascinating.

Happy to help rocket! Will cut and paste into google translate MandM as my Italian is as bad as my French!

ladyG the wind is horrific isn't it? I have had to sleep in the spare room a few times because the smell is so anti-social but also the thrashing around in pain is waking up the FDH in order to treat him to the full sensory experience of trumping in the wee small hours. Baths and attempting to keep regualr help me; back to the good old prune juice. Mine was really bad on Sunday too, I suspect that roast dinners may be bad.

owlie is it your first scan? I was terrified before my sneaky early one but it was amazing!

We will all be fine, going to buy bumper box of BESH candles at the weekend!

That is ver interesting fact Rockstar. So, mine will tast of red wine, blue cheese, parma ham & chocolate - what a lucky baybee....may even be tempted to try it myself

That is what dogs are for LadyG - perfect scapegoat for smelly trumps . Now, who can I blame for the appalling skidmarks round the u-bend (am also on the prunes to keep things moving/soft - they seem to be working).

So glad it's not just me chuffing for England right now I'm not even considering the prune option, it sounds horrific. Kate I tried blaming the cat but it didn't work, damnit.

Bitey tis my second scan as I also had a sneaky extra private one at 9+3, thinking my nuchal foldiness one would not be til really late due to Xmas faffing. However they booked it for the first possible day so I am getting it 2 weeks exactly after the sneaky one. I am hoping it will be okay as at the first one the doctor prodded me with the ultrasound stick to provoke movement and we clearly saw the grumpy owlet attempt to punch her in return. Hardcore, eh?

Hey - skidmarks are infinitely more preferable to bumgrapes Bootilicious

Just back from first differs yoga sesh, it was lovely, and feel quite energised now, am going to have a bath and hope that it makes me sleep better tonight. I do think the lack of exercise might be to blame.

Your diet sounds preferable to mine clucks poor sprout will be wanting to eat nothing but pasta, fish and salad, oh yes very very healthy but oh so boring! Mind you at least I haven't had to resort to prune juice (yet)

I'm chuffing for England and am not even diffed .

As you were.

glad you enjoyed it, Rocket.

For those of you who haven't seen my FB update - I was stepping over my gym ball to leave the living room, managed to trip over it, and whacked my head, at the eyebrow, off the edge of the door. Ouch! Sore eye, and neck, but no bump contact thankfully, just landed on my knees on the rug. MrM came hurtling through at my plaintive scream. My glasses miraculously are fine though.

Evening fellow chuffers. Am trying to persevere with the revolting prune juice, as it does seem to be making a difference. On a related topic, I am inordinately proud of the massive burps I am able to do now. Thinking we'll need to re-plaster the ceiling before July.

I can't sleep either Rocketqueen. Dunno why, just can't get comfy or settled. Trips to loo aren't helping of course.

Delighted to hear all the arse-updates. Mine, as usual, smells of roses :)

Ouch meds that sounds painful. Just this once I shall give you a manly pat on the back instead of a headbutt. Because I am a gentle soul.

Went and looked at our newly-acquired house again today, with the lovely people who are hopefully gonna project-manage the work we need doing. very exciting...and met our neighbours, an incredibly friendly and sweet couple in their 70s who were JUST SO NICE!!!! will be a big change after living with arsehole difficult neighbours here. Looking at a few months before The Big Move though.

Bedroom roof is currently leaking, quite close to my head. The steady 'drip drip drip' into a jug will probably up my nighttime piss count to approx 10007988900000009999