The PESH deli - Happy New Year! The one where Polly finally lays and we get lots more BESHy wins.

[PollyPoo]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24

UPDIFFED

PollyPoo, wondering if this baybee is every going to come out, due 23 Dec or 28 Dec, depending on who you trust
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Sorry for the not terribly inventive opening, but I need to moan update you all...

Come in, grab a chair, a wheel of brie and a glass of champagne to welcome in the new year.

Maybe even Medee will do a big queue jump.

Jesus, I hope not! Just about coping with my place in the queue as it is! I have three babygros, a teddybear, a baby soap and some bits and bobs like baby shampoo that my MIL gave us. Oh, but I think I forgot to report that my Mum finally managed to get the Mamas and Papas order, including more importantly the Moses basket. So we have that (or will have, when we get it from them) plus a pram on order.

Drom You could turn that list into a John Lewis babylist (like a wedding list) that you either buy off yourself as and when it suits, or other people can use to buy you gifts.

Your ILs are being so mean scorps are you not tempted to threaten that the Lad will have just the one surname - YOURS! My ILs piss me off but they are not as bad yours. I just keep reminding myself that me, FDH and the lifeform currently known as the rasberry will be our own little family anyway and that is the most important thing!

Hmmmm regular nice chemist not there but had lengthy discussion with locum pharmacist who confiscated the "forhead" from my basket as menthol is dodgy (his words). I went into panic mode as spent last night happily snuffling olbas oil in an attempt to reduce the pressure on my brain but he said that was fine.

Twinks I heart co-codamol, had it after a car accident and was the best sleepy pain free few days ever! Found it rather constipating though which in my present prune juice dependent state may be a Bad Thing!

owlie here is the bitey school of baybee father training advice: Fill your bedside table with books about baybees and pregnancy, bio oil, lip salve etc. Badly balance ritz crackers on pile of books. Allow to fall shattering over floor. Encourage cat to run through crumbs and then into bed resulting in exfolia-sheets. Enraged partner will confiscate crackers (and any other snack ) and keep on his table instead. Thrash violently while retching in the middle of the night, do for approx three nights. Hey presto, one automatic biscuit disenser!

Oh, one last thing, my sister in law (size 10, 5'5"), gave birth to a 9lb 10oz boy and didn't even need a single stitch!

scorps that does seem pants. Will he be Boyname ScorpsSurname TYFSurname or Boyname TYFSurname ScorpsSurname because if the former, they will just drop your surname from it. I do think it unreasonable for them to ignore the name you chose. My BM?s PILs randomly changed the spelling of one of her children?s names, despite it being from their culture and a spelling she had checked with them beforehand! I guess chalk it up to their usual behaviour ? I reckon your son will work out which GPs butter his bread for himself, I know I did with mine.

PS how does TYF work with his dad if they live 5 hours away?

Your in-laws are a bit odd Scorps. Are they perhaps of the view that you shouldn't get too excited before the baby arrives just in case it goes wrong? An extreme version of the traditional British "no baby stuff in the house before the birth" view?

My mum was weird about scans, but just because she doesn't understand and panics. Your in-laws are definitely odder though. I wish I could lend you mine, who are very excited and my FIL insisted on taking lots of pictures of me with my bump over Christmas for his family photo history.

Don't worry, FIL is not Captain Kirk, Medee - his Dad works 3 days a week in the office and 2 days from home: travels up on a Sunday night, sleeps in his office (yes, really - when we live 20 mins away and he is more than rich enough to afford hotels/B&Bs anyway!) then travels back on Wednesday night/Thursday morning. They used to live near here when he set the business up, you see.

Name will be Boyname MySurname HisSurname. Not double-barrelled, because if he (or any potential future kids) want to drop one, they can do. We're only doing it in that order because it flows better. FIL, as I've mentioned in the past, is utterly fixated with demanding that his first grandson is called two certain first names and TYF is refusing to actually tell them it's a boy because he doesn't want to deal with the pressure (and cos he's angry at how uninterested they are). We've told them over and over it ain't happening, but to no avail - over Xmas, I looked FIL straight in the eyes and said 'Even if 'name name' were my favourite names in the whole world, I would never use them now because I WILL NOT be told what to do. If you like them so much, you should've called one of your own 3 sons by those names. The more you go on, the less likely we are to consider them'. It goes without saying that one of the names is his own name

(I then had to go and lie down, because I'm not at all confrontational with them. Yes, hard to believe, I know!)

My parents are professional mentalists but they are so excited and would never dream of suggesting we call The Lad a certain name or did things a certain way. Hell, we've even considered a few of my family names and my folks say 'don't choose one of those to please us, you go for what you two like best'.

PS No, they're just arseholes, Muser. Been trying to find excuses/accept TYF's excuses for them for years but this Xmas and the way they've been about the pg has been the straw that broke the camel's back.

I am massively lucky in my in-laws - like my parents, the mad bastards have framed the scan photo and it sits with all the kids' graduation photos/wedding photos on their bookshelves in the living room.

I know yours are a sore trial to you, scorps. What are you going to do? Given that you haven't been able to find excuses for them, how are you going to negotiate the relationship now that you will have a biological link to them as grandparents?

I guess I'll just have to do what I've done so far - suck it up and plaster a rictus grin across my face and hope they can't see the murderous rage building up behind my eyes. We have tried to put certain points across politely but they just act like nothing's been said. Doesn't help that TYF is so shy (even with them) and non-confrontational and just won't say or do anything. He lets me speak for both of us - so they no doubt just put any protestations down to me being this annoying, pretentious outsider cougar who has their quiet son under the thumb (the latter, at least, is bullshit). Every time we visit they are less and less polite to me.

I will, however, not bite my lip if they don't respect our parenting and all that. I can choose to suck it up but no fucker so much as thinks anything negative about my son

But hey, at least we only have to see them twice a year because they're so uninterested - have already told us they will be 'too busy' to see us any more when the baby arrives. MIL is a super-fit housewife in her 50s.

PS Get this for MIL classic: when talking to younger BIL's new girlf, she was asking me some odd questions about doing my A-levels. I laughed, saying I was 20 yrs too old for all that. She got all flustered and I got it out of her that MIL had told her I work in a supermarket and am re-taking my school exams! I don't see what's wrong with working in a supermarket, although MIL is very snooty about shop assistants so she clearly chose that deliberately and as for the school thing... (this from a woman who wrote 'Enjoy you're Cristmas' on our Xmas card)! I pointed out I've been trying to get PhD funding for years. TYF insists his mum was surely just confused. I think we all know that that shit was anything but

Sorry, will stop turning this into 'AIBU to murder my ILs with a rusty spoon'

Need more FC news!

PS Re: everyone needing/wanting chiro - just seen Homer having some done on the Simpsons and when the practitioner tried to ask him questions, he growled 'less yakking, more cracking'! One to remember for your appointments

Scorps. Your in laws can fuck the fuck off, and then when they get there, fuck off some more.

How DARE they suggest they won't use your name, I can't tell you how fucking angry this makes me. RAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I say go for it. YA definitely NBU

What Cho said. Word.

Scorpette I would tell you ILs you will be keeping limited contact with them. Seem like a waste of space to me. But then I don't have the best track record with in-laws.

AIBU to want to keep away from my mil. First of all the boy loves her - so it would be cruel but whatever. She has always gone onto me about how there are too many immigrants. Hello - my family are from Cyprus and we didn't arrive here by magic. I have told her on more than one occasion that I find this find it upsetting. Anyway the last time I saw her she told me that she was fed up of voting Tories (bad enough for me) but she was now thinking of voting for the BNP. She also keeps telling me that she would smack the boy if she was me.

Sorry you lot don't know me that well but needed to rant. Rant over!

Congrats for the boy child MrsFC. Boys are lovely [biased emoticon].

Scorp I can't imagine having in laws like that, that's really sad for you and The Lad. Maybe they'll have a change of attitude when the the bouncing baby boy arrives and they go all soppy and doe eyed. But if not, I'm sure a jury would agree there was justified provocation if you went with them with that rusty spoon...and Halle a BNP voting MIL? god help you! Mine just make me feel like a an uneducated, ignorant, pasty fat aging moron - but they're all beautiful and highly educated, speak 3 languages, tanned and fit, interesting and to top it all off, pretty famous in their country so not surprising really!

'justified provocation'??? That makes no sense, and me a lawyer too! You know what I was getting at hopefully!

Wow, your MIL sounds miles worse than mine, Louja At least mine don't spout offensive views and other mindless ignorance (although they have unenlightened views on animal cruelty, grrrr).

What pisses me off most is that the ILs really look down on me because my background is middle-class but not as poshly as theirs. Yet FIL has 1 O'level, MIL spells egg 'eg' and they are really uncultured, skanky, dull, blinkered, parochial, conservative and out of touch and as you all know, have terrible manners, whereas my parents might say settee (look, everyone from North Derbyshire does, okay? It's not a class thing there) and laugh at fart jokes but they are highly educated, intellectual, cultured, fashionable, knowledgeable about politics, current affairs, history, etc., have friends from all cultural and religious backgrounds, eat every nationality of food and above all aren't rude cunts.

Simultaneously, they think I am unbearably pretentious, because I like things like sun-dried tomatoes and modern art and going to London and Amsterdam, etc. They were amazed once that I knew who'd painted The Scream (that being incredibly specialist knowledge, apparently). They view me as an arriviste, which is amusing because they wouldn't know what that word meant.

PS Oh yeah and get this, fans of my MIL vs Allergies nightmare - BIL's new girlf is a vegetarian and a fussy one at that. MIL cooked special veggie meals for her every day for 4 days and bought special food in for her. Including ones that I could have and told her so, but which I didn't get because she apparently forgot and dished it all up "for the family". TYF claims she just doesn't think and it's not personal. x infinity. The poor girl was so confused and embarrassed at the obvious disparity in MIL's treatment of me and her.

(Wants to know more about Twinks' famous ILs - and refuses to believe she isn't far more fabulous than them)

She and the boy do love each other and she is great with him. Just not me. Sadly FIL who was more worldly passed away before I met TH. Luckily she moved to Sheffield from Peterborough and we are just north of that London.

My own mother is a pain in the arse - though not bigoted.

(Is also interested in Twinks' famous in laws)

Slightly off topic but all the talk of rusty spoons reminded me of this

Wierd huh!

I know I'm hardly ever here at the mo, but whenever I am, poor Scorpetta is having IL trouble. I know all parents are annoying to some degree - it's some sort of oath you take at some stage (must ask midwife when I will have to take it).

Choochoo has summed up perfectly the feelings of many a PESH. She is very wise.

TYF either needs to stand up to them, or anything that will be said will be dismissed because it comes from you, or you need to distance yourself even further from them, and from your son's pov, I don't think that will necessarily be a bad thing. Their treatment of you is evidently an extension of how they view their son, and do you want that passed onto your son?

So sorry to hear of the inlaw nightmares, specially from score I know this is on going but it really does sound like you have reached the end of your tether with them. I think Meds is right in a way, before when it was just you two you could deal with it as adults but TYF now has a son to think about, he either needs to sort them out or back off. (although I know he is a lovely bloke I am a bit at him not standing up to them on YOUR behalf before) I really hope it doesn't come to that tho, Why are families so bloody difficult sometimes?

cluky Salad Fingers is one of TBs nick names for me :o Not sure how I should feel about that.

Twinks yes we are finding out the flava but we are going to try and keep it a secret as I really don't want to start the genderisation before birth if possible! I thought this was a good idea at first but now I think it's impossible a bit bonkers. I am not sure I will be able too, I might its have to drop a hint to you lot as long as you promise never to mention it again How you feeling apart from the lovely flutters, got the legendary 2nd trimester 2nd wind? :o

sorry: additional cluster rant: The name thing especially pissed me off, seriously how do people think it is ANY OF THEIR BUSINESS hat you call your baby? I just don't get it. And it is so rude to you that they will refuse to acknowledge your name, disgusting really.

The only 2nd wind I get is mega-heinous flatulence

Rocket, we hate all the genderisation stuff too, which is why I haven't mentioned The Lad being The Lad on FB or talked about it in RL (have let my folks tell my rellies, as don't have many and they're mainly v lefty and not likely to stereotype). We've been looking at baby clothes online and TYF is especially disgusted by how genderised everything is. He saw a little t-shirt he wanted us to get The Lad and was incensed when I pointed out it was technically for girls (we're stil going to get it!) - it was pale blue with a big applique duck on it. He was ranting about how he'd burn any crap we get given with trains and planes on them or anything with a slogan about how cheeky baby is, etc., and why was everything for boys intended to emphasis toughness. Most people would call that over-thinking things, but 'tis just another reason why I adore that man!

Thanks for everyone's support and anger on my behalf over the ILs. Because his folks aren't particularly warm and thoughtful towards their own sons, TYF has been kidding himself that they've not been that rude to me but seeing how much more interested and considerate MIL was towards his brother's GF, he can't really deny it now. I can't see him standing up to them; I am quite literally the first and only person he has ever argued with or openly stated a disagreement with; he really is that shy and gentle. Shame he can't get as worked up over their rudeness as he can over a baby t-shirt with a football on it! But I know why he doesn't know how to tackle them - they never communicate with their kids, they just talk at them, telling them to do things or asking them questions that aren't intended to lead to conversation or sharing stuff. Whatever you say to them is completely ignored and never acted on or remembered, whether trivial or v important. It's always made clear that they don't require or expect any personality, needs, likes, individuality from you. These are people who literally refused to get TYF help for his shyness when little because it would be 'rewarding him for attention-seeking' (MIL said all this to me this summer!).

Trouble is, I always speak for us. This works perfectly for our dynamic except when with them. They think the 2-surname thing is me forcing loony feminist nonsense onto TYF who daren't stand up to me, whereas he's actually more bothered about all that stuff than I am. He did say that using both was v important to him when they were mocking it, which was the most he's ever stood up to them. I have told him he needs to HTFU with them now The Lad is on the way and he says he knows and is going to actively work on it (you can be sure they will genderise and stereotype and openly mock and disrespect our parenting style). But please don't see TYF as a wimp - he's been brainwashed into never questioning them and is such a gentle soul.

PS TYF adores my parents and can chat away with them in ways he never does with his own. Telling but sad, no?