The PESH deli - Happy New Year! The one where Polly finally lays and we get lots more BESHy wins.

[PollyPoo]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24

UPDIFFED

PollyPoo, wondering if this baybee is every going to come out, due 23 Dec or 28 Dec, depending on who you trust
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, has a deceptive bump, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Sorry for the not terribly inventive opening, but I need to moan update you all...

Come in, grab a chair, a wheel of brie and a glass of champagne to welcome in the new year.

Sorry if that sounded judgey against TYF, score wasn't meant like that. I realise that you adore each other which is very lovely, and that you are able to stand up for yourself which is why he hasn't really needed to. But the Lad wont be able to and even tho you can keep doing it, I hope it will encourage him to be a bit bolder too. I think the sad fact is that they will never change tho and you will just see less and less of them as a result. Which will be entirely their loss although by the sound of it that won't bother them (until later perhaps) Thank god he has a nice raport with your folks, that might have to be enough!

In a way they remind me of my Nan (mums mum) a bit who in her prime was very over bearing, very traditionalist, was rather critical of my dad, always tried to tell my mum what to do/how to live/how to raise us, blatantly favoured my Uncle, resulting in my mother resenting her a lot. Then when she was older she mellowed a lot and needed my mum but by that time it was too late to mend the relationship. The issue for my mum was that everyone else thought so highly of my Nan, but she couldn't forgive her for her upbringing. She did the dutiful daughter thing of course and I don't even know if my nan had a clue how she really felt but it has scarred her deeply I think. It's very sad!

Mum made me laugh today, she sent me a card with the check for the money that my nan left me, in the card she wrote "and don't pick your spots or I will take it back!" which is a skit on my nans constant attaching of conditions to anything she gave us and 'jokingly' saying if we didn't do such and such she'd cut us out of her will when we were younger. Nan hadnt said anything like this for many years but my mum still remembers it.

I wouldn't be surprised if the arrival of new baby makes TYF HTFU. It is a big life changing thing, and having his own child might just make him realise he needs to not let his parents keep treating him like a child. Fingers crossed it all works out.

TBG is a bit disgusted by all the gendering in baby clothes, and he's not usually like that. We got a big order of colourful stuff yesterday, half of which he bought, and it's pretty much all greens and purples. Some things will probably have people assuming girl and some boy. But neither of us are bothered, we just think they're cool.

He's currently boxing up yet more stuff in the study to put into storage. New carpets arrive next week!

TYF said last night, of his own volition, that he knows he needs to work on his shyness and non-confrontational ways because he doesn't want The Lad to pick up on it. Although I have so far been polite with the ILS for the sake of niceness, I don't take shit from anyone, not even my own family; I tell people calmly but firmly when things are unacceptable. But kids take a lot of cues from their same-sex parent, so is important for TYF to stand up for himself more.

My Dad suggested talking to my Gran, because her parents were very soppy, open and loving and adored all their many grandkids whereas my Granddad's were very cold and uninterested (ashamed of my poor Gramps for being disabled by polio ) and, despite only having 2 children and 4 grandchildren, ignored my Dad and Aunt and lavished attention on their daughter's kids. She had to find a way of dealing with them, challenging them and balancing stuff, so will have to see Gran soon to chat (she's too deaf to speak over the phone). My Dad is still bitter at 70 over some of the crap he put up with as a kid from those bad GPs and he's not the sort to hold grudges or whine, so these things really do affect people.

I was so lucky - all of my GPS were bloody amazing and worshipped me and my bro and we were so involved with them. I realise I have to give up my presumptions and dreams that my child(ren) will have things that perfect, but it's so sad to do so.

PS Reason why I focus on MIL being crap more than FIL is that FIL is a lone wolf, barely interacting with anyone and then grunts tactless questions or piss-takes at you once or twice a week. So he's tolerable because in week's stay, I only interact with him for @ an hour all put together! That in itself is quite rude and ignorant but easier to deal with.

Muse and Rocket, is interesting, heartening and really cool that our menz are as invested in non-genderising 'n' all that as we are. I'm not trying to criticise anyone who chooses to dress a son in rough n tumble gear or a daughter as a fairy princess because part of our desire to not do that stuff comes from wanting everyone to be free to bring their child up however they see fit :) Just want a wider scope of expression for all, that's my bag.

If we do end up with a girl, I will get some cute dress type things as well. But I think it's quite hard to run around and have fun if you're in a dress.

And if my child chooses stuff themselves once old enough to express a preference then fair enough. But while they're tiny things then it's babygros in nice bright colours.

That's exactly how I feel, Muse. If it'd been a girl, then I would've bought some lovely dresses and spangly baby shoes as well. And if The Lad wants all macho boywear when he's old enough to express a preference then we'll go with that. BTW, I know my brother is going to buy him a bloody footie top for his fave (crap) team, grrrr. Although he would still do that if it was a girl.

PS I really hope Bob inherits your gorgeous hair :) We have quite a strong PGF too (Potential Ginger Factor).

Exactly muse its not that I am dead against any of it, its just the the default colours for the majority of baby stiff is pale pink or pale blue, I hate pastels and can't see my kid in them regardless of gender. I find it a bit odd. Example, JLP moses baskets in pale pink and pale blue are in the sale. the cream one isnt, to me that indicates that the majority don't WANT the genderisation yet the buyers insist on buying it.

My eldest niece is a total tom boy and has chosen 'boys' closes for herself from a young age and my youngest is a total pink fairy princess type. Both are cool with me, I just want my kid to have the option of choosing before other people start choosing for them!

Re TB: not sure he has even thought about it tbh but I know that little one will be kitted out in red and white footie kit and stupidly expensive (and cute) retro trainers asap regardless of flava

sorry to butt in laydeez, but I have to say that, unfortunately, your kid tends to wear gifted clothes in the first few months and Squeaker's were incredibly PINK. It drives SFF insane. And it's so hard to get funky stuff in small sizes without paying a fortune. I looked at one of the sites linked to here and just couldn't get my head around paying £20 for a babygro. No offence to those who do, but it just would not work for us. Squeaks has just stormed through the 3-6 size (and some larger 0-3 stuff) in just one month. She has so many outfits worn just once or twice, and it's soooo sad! On the upside, I am now having to buy more of her clothes and I love it. We like dresses and tights (so practical) and I'm all over the bright purples and big fat spots and stripes. Bit by bit, the baby pink is disappearing - HALLELUJAH!

And if anyone does have a girl, I have a ridiculous number of not-too-girly short sleeve body suits (vests) in first six month sizes, that never get worn because she's been in plain white Asda long sleeves throughout this bloody freezing weather!

As you were

I cannot pay £20 for a babygro either, which is why I do my funky clothes shopping in the sale. I've heard H&M is good for clothes in bright colours but not too pricey. I know that people will buy stuff that might not be my taste, and I'll live with that. I'd never reject something someone had given me, unless it was completely inappropriate. In which case it might be in the wash a lot.

You are not butting in at all curls makes total sense. I think thats why we want to try and avoid letting on the flava prior to the Big Squeeze, working on the logic that most people will buy gifts in advance and therefore have to stick to neutral colours? Dunno if that will work or not (prob not) Iove spots and stripes too :D

Always used to get clothes for the girls from H&M, but this was a while ago until they got to the point where they didn't see clothes as a 'real present'. erm £20 for a baby grow? what does it have? solid gold stitching? [wink}

wise move muse. I found H&M a bit big on sizes but is nice stuff.

rocket we revealed gender on here and to close F&F. I guess many gifts were bought after because, as Squeaks was a wee bit prem, we got loads of ickle baby clothes, which of course she grew out of quickly. (some people brought them when they visited weeks later. We squeezed her in to one tiny, sickly pink number and then, oops, it was too big ) And her grannies continue to buy girly la-la items (see Xmas photos!).

The colour split bothers me, but the trucks, planes, robots etc on boys vs fairies and princesses on girls' stuff is I think what annoys me more. I'd have bought a lot more in the sales if they weren't so gender specific. As it was I have one cream, one mint green and one bold stripes babygro so far.

white and cream hide baby sick better.
I totally agree on the toys thing, medee.

Oh then I guess there is no escape!! :o tbh I am grateful for anything people give us so will try to not be churlish!! in fact i think it will prob worse with a girl as i loath pink esp pale pink, just going to have to put up with it! think MIL is going to be the biggest challenge but TB said as long as I tell her no pale pink she will 'do as she's told' My mum should be ok, shes not very traditional and also got a bit of a SOH on her so prob have to worry more about crazy seasonal outfits (like the full pumpkin outfit she brought DN1 from the US ) My sis was horrified but I would have buzzed off it!

sorry, you didn't mean toys, you meant on clothes. Duh.

Squeaks has one hideous set with pwintheth castles etc all over it. Great for when she's throwing mushed carrots all over herself.

looking forward to Monday avo, going into town after the scan and will be able to scour the sales with impunity!

I did, but the toys split is a PITA too.

Jelus. Although I do have a few Xmas pressies to exchange because of wrong sizes.

'nuff chat, the beast has awoken.

The decorations bother me a lot as well, mostly the princess stuff. Probably because I'd put a girl in a top with a truck on quite happily if I liked it. But putting any child in stuff covered in pwetty pwincesses is just a bit too much.

Couldn't agree more muse

Medee has hit the nail on the head - it's not really the colours but the motifs that get my goat too. TYF pointed out last night how all the boys' stuff is about preparing them to get out into the world and be tough and do work and the girls' is about being sweet and passive and daydreamy. Bleeuch.

Am not a fan of pastels either. Auntie Tactless is already knitting me a pale blue cardi for the baby. She told my Mum that she'd buy another colour wool if I 'really wanted', but she's v trad and I'm v grateful that she's being so nice so I don't mind at all, as using the trad colour will make her happy (she's also an excellent knitter). I know that if the ILS buy anything, it will be v genderised. But I would never be rude to anyone or not use things (well, possibly if they were truly heinous). After all, the kids won't know what the hell clothes even are at such a young age!

I've found the colours and motifs thing also v limiting in choosing baby bedding, etc. If it's not pink fairies Vs blue trains then it's boring neutrals with gag-worthy cutesiepie teddy-weddies on it. Or jungle animals. It doesn't help that I am a decor and fashion nazi. I hate neutrals and pastels.

Aaaah, as if we'll have a moment to worry about all this once the baybees are here!

On bedding, buy neutrals and some dye. Hey presto!

Lucky I don't mind neutrals but I think I am going to try and make some of the bedding myself. When I look at the cost of some things like cot bumpers its ridiculous when you could make them for about 5 pence in a colour you actually like. Cot bumper with neon space invader applique on is my plan :o and thats not til 12 months anyway, until then all you need it a fitted sheet and a cell blanket!

That is such a good idea muse