Jue in June - Part 5

[milliemuffin]

2nd trimesters here we come...

Leroy so sorry to hear about your poor sister, that's really sad :(

Sorry, my turn for a long rant but would appreciate some advice...

My DP's sister has a 10yr old boy (from previous relationship) and a 3yo boy who is 4 days younger than my DS so they're very close. The boys spend every Monday and Friday pm with DP's parents, they are a handful but keep eachother occupied.

When I fell pregnant last year, DPs sister approached him in secret when I was 9weeks and asked if I was pregnant which he confirmed. About an hour later when we told DPs parents with his sister and her partner in the room, even though they already knew they both carried on preparing food and didn't stop to acknowledge us. DPs mum&dad were obviously pleased but at no point did DP's sister or her partner ever congratulate us, not even after DD was born. She has since told me that she has never liked me but has been unable to give a valid reason. She thought I lied about DS being ill etc etc, she's a very twisted and nasty person.

We found out in September at 18 weeks that she's pregnant with her 3rd. Her 10yo told DP and he told me when he got home to which I promptly sent her a congrats text and I ask her how she is every time I see her(every 2 or 3 weeks in passing when collecting DS).

I know she's not going to be happy about us expecting our 3rd (especially so close to hers albeit 4months apart not 4 days) but I'm wondering whether to tell the grandparents and her and her DP all at the same time or leave her out as she was so rude at my last pregnancy? I don't want her to be able to ignore me like she did but I also don't want to spoil our surprise at Xmas. Any advice??

I'd tell Grandparents before her and her DP because it will obviously mean more to them anyway. But I'd tell DP sis shortly afterwards- don't go down to her level, shes the one with the problem! Think it'll be hard but you're going to have to rise above it and be the bigger person.

p.s. no offence but she sounds like a bitch

Hi ladies,

Sorry I've not been around for a while, I can't believe I have missed an entire thread!. I was on holiday for a while, then got myself into a bit of a state about the pregnancy. I still have issues over DD's prem birth and when I started to get some signs of build up to early labour I had a complete panic and hid myself away for a while.

Fortunately everything is fine now. The midwife heard the heartbeat yesterday and I felt first movements this morning!!!! I have been so excited. They were proper little kicks, it was the best feeling ever and feel like a weight has been lifted

Good luck to all those with scans soon (looks like a lot next week!).

I've noticed the stats so will add myself, and try my best to catch up on everything I've missed

Added myself to the stats.

jbells our stats are almost identical :)

jbells- DC2 EDD 23/05 (DD20mths)
GoodVibrations - DC2 EDD 23/5 (DD23months)
MrsBigW - DC4 EDD 26/05 (DS15, DS11, DS6)
Cameli - DC2 EDD 28/05 (DS14)
BarbieLovesKen-DC3 EDD 28/05 (DD5,DS10months)
stargirl30 - DC2 EDD 29/5 (DD2)
Sasamaxx - DC3 EDD 03/06 (DS4, DD2)
Petitech - DC1 EDD 03/06
Clarkiee- DC 1&2 EDD?? 04/06
Bananarama05 - DC1 EDD 04/06
Knackered76 - DC3 EDD 04/06 (DD5, DS4)
Moomin156 - DC1 EDD 06/06
Mouffloncake - DC1 EDD 06/06
Mummynumber2 - DC1 EDD 07/06 (DSD14, DSD12, DSS9)
Gillzz - DC2 EDD 07/06 (DS 4)
KaraStarbuckThrace - DC2 EDD 07/06 (DS 2.11)
theQuibbler - DC2 EDD 08/06 (DS 4)
LeroyJethroGibbs - DC3 EDD 09/06 (DS8 DS6)
TabithaTwitchet - DC2 EDD 10/06 (DD 2)
Misshoohaa - DC1 EDD 11/6
79monica - DC1 EDD 13/6
sarahmumtobe - DC1 EDD 14/6
Moog72 - DC2 EDD 14/06 (DD6)
Humania - DC2 EDD 15/06 (DD 2.2)
Jasmine51 - DC1 EDD 16/6
NurseSunshine - DC1 EDD 16/06
mrswantstobeamum - DC1 EDD 17/06
NoMoreChocBiscuits - DC2 EDD 18/06 (DS 2.9)
8rubberduckies - DC2 EDD 22/06 (DS 2.3)
Dungungirl - DC3 EDD 24/06 ( DS1 5, DS2 1 )
Supersunnyday - DC1 EDD 25/06
Takethatlady - DC1 EDD 27/06
Milliemuffin - DC3 EDD 30/06 (DS3, DD1)

Thanks Clarkiee, she is a bitch, DP says she's always been selfish and even his parents say 'you can't say anything you know what she's like'! She bought a ticket to take DS to panto last year with her boys but he had temp of 39 and we thought he had swine flu but fortunately didn't. She told the grandparents that we'd made it up just because we didn't want him to go with them even though we were more than happy for him to go and for them to buy his ticket weeks in advance! She's not a nice lady. And all this came out a month after DP had a heart attack at only 39! Not a nice person at all.

Hey Millie I think the best way to deal with people like this is to treat them like you would anyone else in the family, so, all smiles and telling her about pg whenever it would be natural to if you got on, albeit seperately from the pils. I find this really winds people up if they are trying to get a reaction from you of some sort or make you look stupid... just don't play the game!

PS Welcome back Goodvibrations, so glad you're feeling more positive about everything .

Flippin eck Millie what a weirdo! Better off just staying away surely, be polite when you see her but don't go out of your way to speak to her when it's just going to cause you stress. What kind of person does she think you are to deliberately stop your son from having a lovely evening? Projecting, much?

Sorry about the row 8RD, it's not your fault if the petrol gauge is broken and you've got every right to want to be assertive from the word go about your own birth.

Wow can't believe you've felt the baby GoodVibrations, that's amazing :)

Banana AHA! I KNEW it was my age that made people ask if babeh was planned!! Like if you're a bit older you can't have an unplanned pregnancy?! My aunt's 4th child was "a surprise" when she was 40!

I am firmly unashamed of the fact that the baby wasn't planned. Let's face it, as a 22 year old, single, pregnant student I'm going to be judged by just about everyone (except the people I actually care about) anyway so I may as well go the whole hog Planned or unplanned we love our babies and that's what counts.

PS X STILL hasn't called/texted/emailed to ask how baby is. So am not going to bother getting in contact with him again. If he's interested he will have to make the first move.

peitech I've had odd stomachey type pains for the past few days, nothing really painful so haven't called mw, just niggly and just this evening I was thinking it may be bloating and how massive I feel.

A month or so ago I made an emergency trip to tescos at 9pm on a Friday night whilst home alone to get a stash of fruit and fibre as was so stuffed up!

I've had really achey tight calves a couple of nights this week too. Any suggestions what that could be?!

Will catch up properly over the next few days, been falling asleep since I got out of bed this morning so off to be for me I think :)

evening folks. Just thought I'd share...nipped down to tesco for milk this evening, felt a bit of a burp coming on, completely alone so didn't bother being too discreet - it echoed off the houses! Naughty baby :) Will post properly when I get go on the computer. Night!

Nurse and at your useless XP, you are right, you shouldn't have to chase after him - let him ask you how the baby is!

Millie _ I agree with the others, tell your PILs first then your SIL, she sounds nasty and jealous of you. Just be all sweetness and light around her as she won't be able to call you out on it, and you retain the moral highground.

8RD - has your DP calmed down and apologised? The petrol thing could happen to anyone!!

millie I second what clarkiee and others have said - tell the grandparents first but don't leave it much longer to tell SIL ... perhaps the grandparents in person and then just call up other relatives. If she's annoyed that your pregnancies overlap she can feck right off in my book - though I agree with the others not to bother telling her so. Am at her behaviour.

As I am at nurse's XP. Really sorry he's behaving like such an idiot. He's going to have to grow up and see sense at some point - hopefully it's sooner rather than later. I find the whole thing about 'was it planned' so rude and annoying - especially if people ask you just because you're young/single etc. The midwife said to me (I am 28) '28. That's an excellent age to have a baby', really approvingly. It was ridiculous! Why is 28 necessarily better than 18 or 38 or 45? Stupid. We didn't have loads of trouble ttc but did have a very early mc and I have 7-9 week cycles so from April to conception in late September I only had 3 periods and was getting frustrated. And it really made me think how utterly ridiculous it is that we're all made to feel we have to have babies at the exact correct point in our lives - when we have careers up and running but we're not too high-flying, when we've found an amazing partner, when we've got financial security, when our educations are finished (as if we ever know what we're going to need to learn later on) etc. Do any of us ever reach that mythical perfect day? Even if we do, we probably find out we've got fertility problems now we've got there ...

Stupid. In my book if you are able to love your child and keep it safe then there's no right or wrong time and everyone else can piss right off! Anyway, all this has made me decide that if people at work ask me if it was planned I'm just going to say yes (even though they'll think I'm a cheeky mare for getting preggo so soon into the job). It's the truth, and it's not my problem if they don't like it!

There! Rant over!

hello everyone, hope your days r going ok

i had a bit of a wobble yesterday and nearly fainted in m&s yest luckily my mum was with me, think this baby is draining the energy out of me!

takethatlady- i completly agree with your rant people seem to expect people to only have children in a perfect scenario nowadays and to be honest im not sure that exists well not for most of us anyway. when i got pg with DD me and DP had only been together 12 wks and we got a lot of diapproving looks chatter behind our back etc especially as we both worked together, but at the end of the day we loved each other and decided we wanted a baby together, loads of people sed it wudnt last 5 mins, 3 years later were still together with no2 on the way things havnt always been easy but such is life

nurse i completly think your doing the right thing once hes realised how stupid hes being hopefully he will ring u and apologise

millie want to say well done for already being the bigger person and congratulating her on her pg even tho she was so awful in your last, my DP's sister has still not sed congrats to us either neither has his dad its so frustrating! i think they disagree with us having another baby

nursesnowflak- i am also unashamed that my baby wasnt planned for right now we are still happy and excited and want our babies and that is wot matters

goodvibrations- wow they are similar :) goodluck to us 2 year olds and new borns shud be fun hehe, jelous of u feeling movements still dont think im getting any

petitch- i had a dream a while ago that i had 5 babies and then they turned into cats lol

leroy- so sorry to hear about your sisters situation, hope she is ok

off work today as office flooded so about to catch up on vampire diaries:) and then do boring cleaning, speak to u all later

TTL - Hear, hear!! I think in some cases people don't have anything else to say - clearly they have not heard the phrase "silence is golden"

Got my nuchal fold test result 1 in 422, which I think is good for my age and fatness!

Congrats on result kara - that is great :) - I am still waiting for mine - when did you have your scan?

banana I've had a crampy calf all week. All sorted after eating a couple of bananas (ironically). Potassium might be low.

Had my scan today, the private one. Best thing we ever did (after paying for the private rmc testing that is). Nuchal fine alhough my age still puts me in high risk group, nasal bone prominent, heart all well formed,something in the brain (cant remember what) is there as it should be - therefore thats good enough for me and I wont be having more invasive tests. All fingers, all toes in the right places, head at the top, feet at the other end. 3d scan picture obtained and we even found out the sex...shhh, its a boy but dont tell anyone yet. Yay,happy days.

On a down note, all DHs family now know - not one congratulation! His sister not even phoned - weird lot

Wow - how have I managed to miss so much?
This thread is unbelievable
I am soooooo sick of nursery being off - I really hope our schools are back tomorrow.
Hope everyone is well - going to try to catch up with thread now...

ahhh jasmine- congrats on a lil boy thats lovely news :) did suspect u were having a boy? try to ignore his family, thats what im doing (some people r strange)

Congrats Jasmine!

Moog - I had my scan last Thursday afternoon, so that was really quick I thought!

Oh my god jasmine can't believe you know you are having a boy already :) absolutely fab news. Congratulations. You must be thrilled.

Haven't been posting much this week as have been having a bad week. First the snow started again and has really started to get to me. Even the buses were cancelled and it was just too treacherous to walk anywhere. The Army has been called in now (probably seen it on the news) and apparently they are clearing the roads and pavements. Haven't seen them down our end of town yet but hopefully we will see them here soon. Big respect to them for helping out the community. Just walked down to the shop to get some essentials for my neighbour and managed to nearly fall over 5 times.

The car broke down too - I saw that a few others have had the same problem. Such a PITA and an expense we can do without right now :(

And I have been feeling generally like poo.

Sorry... moan moan moan. Enough moaning from me

kara great news about your scan.

jasmine my SIL hasn't congratulated me either. What did annoy me was that when I saw my nieces and mentioned the baby, they had no idea what I was talking about. My brother and SIL hadn't told them. Perhaps they were waiting till I was further along but they aren't little. They are teenagers? Weird I thought.

jbells hope you are enjoying your day at home. I am supposed to be cleaning and making soup and haven't even started any of it yet!!

nurse good for you for sticking to your guns :)

Oh and I thought I felt the baby move again last night. Very weird sensation but as it's my first and I'm only just going to be 12 weeks this weekend I thought it's quite early???

Wow Jasmine congrats on your boy bump

Welcome back GV and mrwantstobeamum

I've downloaded the 'what to expect' app - I really like it. I don't have an iphone tho - it's an htc.

Weighed myself today - I've put on about 10lbs which is strange as I'm sure I reached 10lbs a couple of weeks ago - must have been mistaken.
I'm definitely starting to feel a bit brighter - I still find afternoons and evenings really tiring but definitely have more energy now, and no ms any more

jasmine how exciting that you know you're having a boy :) Congratulations!

Kara yes that does seem quick - hope mine will be similarly so!

I'm so far down the list! I'm going to have to wait aggges for my chubby chopped bundle and most of you will be snuggling your already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear me where did that come from?!

Not much doing here, haven't thrown up in days, though appetite is still not right. I am heartily sick of snow and no running water.

Have only skimmed through, so yay for good stuff, boo for bad and please don't think I'm ignoring anyone. xxx

Thanks for all your comments ladies xx

I hardly got any sleep last night as DD was very unsettled and when she was DP was snoring then I had upset tum this morning which has totally wiped me out. DP is due home any minute and the kitchen is a state so not looking forward to his disappointed face :( I've had all day to tidy it but running around after DD and DS doesn't leave much time for tidying even if I do have the energy :( I did manage to get some washing done but we get through so much already he'll probably assume it's the same lot that was out this morning.

Does anyone know if a cleaner will do just one weekly visit for 2hrs and if so how much it'll cost? I have so little energy at the moment I think it'll be money well spent just to help clear the backlog of cleaning.