The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

(yes, English IS actually my first language. Not obvious from that post!)

I would also like a job pls, ginboss Shame bosses get nowt tho Must be fun shopping for everyone.

muse you have hit the nail on the head, that IS why it's annoying. But to be fair they have it bang to rights really, most people will be happy with booze (and I would be if I wasn't diffed)

Mr Loz doesn't drink as the crazy fool doesn't like the taste. So from having given all of it a go during his teens he hasn't touched a drop since.

However, he gets cross when people just assume you drink etc, so he enjoys watching people squirm when he tells them he's a recovering alcoholic. Naughty Mr Loz

What haz you bought them ginny?

Big smooches to ginnie, hope all your shit resolves itself soon.

Welcome out of denial, Bitey and congratulations.

Sorry you had a miserable time at the GTT, Muse and you have to go through it again. But lovely throw!

Hurrah for nearly-ready to lay, Mas

Nothing new at my side to report, though I was sorely tempted to take a duvet day today. But as I don't get paid, it's not an easy option.

Gizza job, Ginboss. I promise to get some work done in-between gazing at you lovingly You sound a real darling of a boss (not that there was any doubt!) - and yes, plz tell us what you bought the poor mugging victim.

Loz, please tell Mr Loz he's not alone! RL peeps often get affronted that I don't do boozings, like I'm making some big moral judgement about alcohol, but I just don't like the taste or the feeling of being drunk (and neither side of my family really drinks, so is just not part of my mindset as being something you do). I couldn't care less what anyone else quaffs!

Medee, duvet days should be a basic human right that you get full pay for

Mas, hope you're well in your countdown week. Just remember - it's a great excuse to not bother doing any Xmas shopping or cards

Today is the first day in months I've had no spots! Am thankful for small mercies

Aye, but not when you are a contractor :(

Can you not cut out the middle man and take a duvet in with you? You've got a while yet before you go on ML, haven't you

I have the equivalent of 10 working weeks left between now and 25 February!

Mmm contracting is tough meds you don't work you don't get paid :( Hence why i had to set up my laptop and work lying flat in bed when I slipped my disk last year, Eeeep! I have about 10 days left before I will be dolite scum (although get paid til end of dec) but my boss has just mentioned she is trying to organise with HR for me to do some part time or contract work after xmas which would be most welcome! Finger crossed.

Definitely very conscious about the not working = not paid thing, but on the other hand, given I lost my job 10 weeks into the pregnancy, it's worked out pretty well that I could get something right up to my due date. Hopefully get back to permanent as soon as I am back ready for work again.

fingers crossed something extra comes your way.

Jobs for all the ESH!!! Fuck me we'd never get any work done

mas well it varies a lot from person to person... a screenprint from Graham Coxon's tour for one of the boys (it's lovely,) Space NK creme brulee bath stuff for my sales manager who has a thing about the smell of vanilla, tatty devine ruby slippers necklace, bottle of monkey shoulder whisky... all Good Things :)

I like buying presents.

Apparently my fucked body is 'really interesting' according to the chiro, who was impressed by just how freaky my left ribcage is.

Am such a twat for trying to ignore it really, I just always feel like I'm going to be told to pull myself together and stop blithering on about nothing... however apparently it's NOT nothing and I am supposed to be doing as little as possible. Am not sure I'm even allowed to carry cake!!!

She also somehow seemed to manage to suss that I am a tad stressed despite me trying to appear vaguely together and non-gibbery...

Anyway, she is keeping an appt free for me tomorrow night in case I can't cope but otherwise am seeing her on thursday first thing for more crunching. And chiro is BLOODY FASCINATING!!! have never had it before and am all amazed and intrigued by the whole process.

Now I just want to sleep. But apparently I am expected to work while I am in this bloody office!

Smooches to med it is v tough that you don't get sick pay. Muchas sympathy.

Don't worry Rocket - lovely Ginboss is going to employ us in the New Year!

X-post! gin, those gifts are a-mazing! And I'm not just saying that to smarm up to you as my new employer, haha

Am SO glad that the chiro can help you. And glad someone's persuaded you it's all right not to be a DHB all the time - you're a working pregnant mother with 'interesting' body quirks that need sorting out, fer chrissakes! Shame you couldn't grab a few zzzs as most practitioners of stuff like chiro and needling recommend a rest or nap after, as it helps the body reintegrate the new shift in whatever. Saying that, I always have to do lots of stuff after my needling, so hey ho.

PS I give you permission to say 'Thank crunchie it's Thursday' when you have your next sesh. Badum-tssssh! It's the way I tell 'em

there were a few other things too but I started to get bored of listing them!

I walked into work afterwards, got mental braxton hicks on the way...think my body was a bit surprised by all the crunching etc!

My folks are coming down on thursday so hopefully will get a bit of a rest then...although mr gin and my dad are going to be rebuilding our house around me (at least I won't can't offer to help!)

I am Hoooge fan of bone crunching and acupuncture.

Tis lovely.

MrsFC I hopes to post ya book/CD tomorra.

Think you might have me muddled with the FC gin, he's the numbers guy, I'm just a dopey HR girl, currently on her first day of mat leave, hurrah!! Hope that you are feeling better now it's sometime. Your rib situation sounds hellish, quite frankly.

Excellent news on the spots score hopefully they'll stay away now, mine just lasted the first trimester, and then they cleared up and my hair got all thick and glossy too, much better.

Hey, have any of you got your Bounty Packs? How did you do that then? Do you just rock up to the counter in Boots and demand it whilst thrusting your bump? And is it even worth it??

MrsFC you appear to now be a MsFC. When did that happen?

Hurrah for Mat Leave!

Gin those gifts sound so thoughtful.

Well they are all lovely people, is not like we are a massive corporation!

msfc (are you sulking cos he still hasn't proposed?:)) sorry I did get yer job mixed up with the mr. And yep the ribs are a bit shit, it has been getting me down a bit to be honest...but hopefully ms crunchy will make it feel better soon. The sooner the better really...

Bounty packs... There was a thing in one of the naff books they give you in that big folder of promotional crap at your booking in appt. You have to hand it in at the chemist and they give you one (oo-er missus.) I can't comment on how good they are as I lobbed all that stuff in the recycling. Think it's usually freebie trial packs of various things...nipple cream, the odd nappy, very small chocolate bars, that type of thing.

Ps I phoned my mum tonight as I wanted to chat, still a bit low. She was more interested in talking to moochy (don't blame her!!they all cry...) So it didn't really warm me cockles. Ho hum.

She did say she is gonna try n make sure I get a bit of a rest when they come up, which of course I appreciate. Think I should have worked on sounding a bit more 'needy' on the phone so she would go into full-on Mum Mode. Attention-seeking FAIL!!!

Ahh... Well I deleted my account in a fit of childish piqué one day and the when I tried to shuffle back they wouldn't give me my old name, so I had to change... And also, yes, there is definitely non proposal sulking!

I'm not suprised the ribs are getting you down, it sounds dreadful. I really hope Mrs Crunchy can help. Did she say if she'd seen anything like it before?
I didn't get a promo pack, so I must have missed out. But I seem to remember they weren't all that great seven years ago, and we've had a crash since then...!

I have a feeling if you get a Bounty pack you end up being inundated with crap for the rest of your days. I think there was a leaflet in the big bag of junk the midwife gave me at my first appointment.

If you join the Boots baby club you're meant to get quite good freebies. Plus extra clubcard points on baby stuff. Which you can save up and spend on fabulous stuff for yourself.

I think from the look of fascinated sympathy on her face that it is a bit out of the ordinary... Rib flare is quite normal in late pg, as the rib cage gets a bit wider to fit everything in, but this is a less normal thing I think. She did seem confident she can treat it though, which is obviously good, and she got a good handle on all the contributing bits that are working together to make me Queen of Wonk...

It's a bit of an arse that it is now hurting more than it ever has before, but I know from friends who have been crunched that this is normal and all part of the de-wonking process...and therefore Will Be Worth It.

I am going to fucking well have a glass of wine.

The rib thing sounds really quite horrible. I hope the crunching works well. Have the glass of wine, you deserve it.