The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

It's Emma's bloody diary you need to stay away from. I still get phone calls from them now

I ended up with squillions of bounty packs because I was under consultant care from 28weeks with the GD - they gave me at least one every time I went to the hosp - I built up a fab supply of newborn disposables which came in quite useful in the early days before we got to grips with using the real ones. :)

Phone calls? I would not be impressed by that at all. Emma's Diary sounds very twee, I have avoided it.

Is anyone else getting very dry skin? I appear to be turning into a lizard.

Good call. I was suckered in by freebies

FC, I noticed t'other day you were now a Ms and it gave me a few minutes of Feminist guilt: 'has she always been Ms and I've called her Mrs all this time? Argh, damn you, patriarchal brainwashing!' PS thanks about the spots. Am mildly zit-prone anyway, so not bothered if get the odd spot now and then so long as they're not the hideous angry looking mega-lumps I got in the 1st tri!

Bounty packs are a bag of shite IMHO. Loads of wank freebie offers that'll just put you on crappy mailing lists for life. Dunno about everywhere else, but the MW was quite firm about how everyone's supposed to carry their notes around in the giant plastic Bounty pouch all the rubbish comes in. I don't bother, as don't see why I should be forced into giving them free advertising. When I went for my scan, everyone - and I mean everyone, from the receptionist to the consultant - commented that I wasn't using my Bounty envelope. You'd've thought I was huffing glue whilst reading 'My guide to Motherhood by Rose West'

(It was actually crystal meth)

Ho Ho.

Boots baby club sounds a better deal - will look into that one, ta Muse.

Am now entering Wk 6 of Scorpette's 24-7 Severe Headache Endurance Test. Docs can't and won't give me anything for them, paracetamol works about as well as tic-tacs, am currently Googling 'trepanning' whilst clutching a jumbo knitting needle...

Moan over.

PS Gin, when the baybees come, we don't always get a look in with our folks, huh? Doesn't mean you don't need it sometimes though, does it

I put my notes in a see through pink plastic folder Scorps. People commented that you weren't using your Bounty envelope? How anal of them all!

Sorry I will bugger off PESHes, but looking back at my pregnancy is making me happy, as at this rate I'm not sure 'twill happen again. .

Yes ginster, have a glass of wine. You are being a trooper and totally deserve it. It must have been a big relief when la crunch said she could fix it.

Sorry can't leave without passing special okduringpregnancy gin to erm... gin for marvellous bravery.

C'mere and have a snog, lovely Boo You'll get there, me old china XX

I don't use the Bounty envelope, chucked that ages ago. I just have the book, I should maybe get something to put it in before it falls apart.

I think you should all make a special folder with PESH written on it to carry your notes in. :)

Laughing about the Ms/Mrs worry score, sorry for the confusion!

My notes aren't in any pack, just in their big orange glory!!

my notes are in the bog-standard stationery cupboard issue orange cardboard folder they were issued to me in. Which then sits in the hall except when I have an appointment with someone.

Medee Write PESH on it using tippex like schoolgirls do on pencil cases. Then you will look Well Cool.

Get you lot with your SPD/HE/etc. - you don't know what REAL FEAR IN PREGNANCY is! Not found in our usual forum www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1098509-No-heating-for-a-week-now-whats-this-doing-to-baby . I hope she's not eating cakes to try and raise her core temperature. :(

I think the Bounty pack you get later in pg and the one when you've given birth are better. Great for getting stuff like mini pots of Sudocrem to shove in change bags - and sample nappies, wipes etc.

You have to join Boots to get the free change bag that everyone has! I look at people with non-Boots change bags and secretly judge them for being right Poshos (joking!)

Tesco do a good baby club too with offers and stuff.

Muse I had terrible dry skin with MiniG. I switched to a very moiturising shower gel and started using the richest body lotion I could find. One of the Soap and Glory ones is good. Is irritating though as used to make me dreadfully itchy! Not happened yet so far this time.

I got a changing bag free with the travel-system and tbh it's more hassle than it's worth. It's fucking enormous and really, what do you need for a whizz around town? I'd put a couple of nappies, a few wipes and a bib/bottle in my handbag. I secretly judge people with enormous changing bags! Unless they're just on shoplifting missions and I've misjudged the necessity.

Gin your rib situation sounds pretty ouch! But I do like the Queen of Wonk . I also heart my chiropractor. She's a McTimoney (sp?) one, which is basically a slightly less crunchy more hippy version of clicking. I luffs it. Except she did tell me after I'd fallen down the stairs that my skull wasn't central on my spine & that I was off my rocker. Seriously, she used that phrase - twice - & kept a straight face. And I paid her £40 to be told that. Gah!

I love rummaging through freebies. But the Bounty pack scared me a bit. For someone who is happy to stay in De Nile for a bit it all looked real. And the nappy was so teeny tiny I just couldn't imagine being in charge of a person so little. So I put it all in the spare room (when should I start calling it the nursery?) shut the door & ta-da! its gone.

Someone in work cornered me this morning as they'd only just heard I was diffed. She was very surprised that I was 15 weeks as I didn't look it. Is this good or bad? I prefer to think I've always wandered around glowing, with fab skin & glossy hair. In reality its more prolly I've always been a bit chunky so I disguise a baby bump well. Ho hum. Mr Loz also asked me when I was going to start showing - I think maybe he's struggling a bit to believe it all & me waddling around may help. I too want to look pregnant now instead of thick waisted - but I know when the bump appears I will crave a flatish stomach. Never happy, eh?

I haven't opened the bounty pack case that the midwife gave me at the booking in appt yet! It's still on the kitchen side where I put it - I am ignoring it until I have to! I think Boos suggestion of putting the notes in a different folder and throwing the rest away is a great plan .

I have finally got a scan date of next Thurs at 8.30. Mr O wants his mum and Mini O to come too. What do you reckon? Do you think that is wierd or nice? I can't make my mind up.

I didn't sign up to any of the freebie stuff for fear of being sent crap for the rest of my life... Although planning on moving house soon so maybe could avoid all of the junk...

I have just finished knitting one of these - although its hood has turned out very odd shaped indeed...

Mas that is well cute. Can you make me one (for me, not my baybee)

8mas*! That is ADORABLE! I plan to send it to allmembers of my family who knit. WANT!!

Sadly mine has not come out quite so cute (and doesn't have a baybee inside it). Like the idea of an adult version though...!

Just counted up my knitting stash and have 7 cardies, 3 blankets and the bunting bag

Orchid most hospitals only let one other person in the scan room with you. I really would not have anyone else alone, especially not MiniO. If something did go wrong, do you really want to have to deal with that in front of them?

I know scans are lovely and exciting and a chance to see the baby. But they're also an important medical appointment. I'm afraid I get all serious about these things. If you were going to have a private scan after all the screening ones then I'd invite them along. But not for this one.

mas that is adorable. I want too. My knitting skills are definitely not up to it though.

Muse that's what I thought too. The lady I spoke to yesterday did say that we could take Mini O and that people do take their whole famililes (I presume it depends where you go as what rules they have). However, I kind of feel that it's a personal thing and that having to sort mini O might not be the best idea. He won't want to sit still if we're delayed and I worry it may be insensitive to others if they are having emergency scans etc. Plus, like you say, there is always the issue that if something is wrong we will need to deal with it in front of MIL and Mini O which might not be easy. I think you've helped make my mind up - thanks. It's not that I don't want others to share the, hopefully, nice bits but there has to be a line. We won't be having a private scan so it means that they won't get that chance, but hey ho.

I'll break it to Mr O later. I think he may be a little upset but should come round.